BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again

Subject: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert
Date: 14 Jul 13 - 08:31 PM

Word on the street is that Chongz has again tried to woo Honey Boo-Boo with offers of marriage according to a reliable source but, Honey Boo-Boo still isn't interested and has told Chongz to "pack sand"...

Not too sure what sand packing is but doesn't sound too romantic... Maybe it's a monkey thing???

Details at 11...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jul 13 - 09:46 PM

Honey Boo-Boo, even as a child, shows some good taste. Are you sure she didn't say to Chong, "You don't have enough sense to pound sand down a rat hole"?

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert
Date: 14 Jul 13 - 09:50 PM

Not sure the exact quote, Rap... This story is still developing...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 15 Jul 13 - 12:32 AM

Honey Boo Boo is about 7 years old. I think any references to her on this type of subject is creepy and possibly illegal.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 Jul 13 - 03:09 AM

I think Honey BB's parents should be tarred and feathered forthwith and the child should be turned out to pasture. I saw just a scrap of the show as I surfed by and it was absolutely appalling. Don't tell me that it is meant to be entertainment- it is totally sniggeringly sick.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 15 Jul 13 - 09:00 AM

I don't know who Chongz is, thank God! June was on GMA this morning. I just want them to go away! Just watching their unfortunate appearances on Shows and commercials sucks the energy out of me.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 15 Jul 13 - 09:16 AM

This story bein' spread around by the Bobertz false propaganda machine is a total lie and a total disgrace! As mg so rightly says, it is creepy and possibly illegal. It's an insult to Chimpanzees and to all apes! Bobertz will pay dearly for promotin' this scurrilous lie. Yes, folks, he will suffer. He'll wish he'd never been born. (Just like all his neighbours already do!) ;-D Ook! Ook!

When I am elected President, I will hold a joint session of Congress to deal with Bobertz, assumin' he's still around when that happens...but I'm guessin' the chances are only about 50/50 on that.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: leeneia
Date: 15 Jul 13 - 10:06 AM

Too right, Chongo!

Also, never believe any statement that starts with "Word on the street is that..."

(For those of you who are never around little kids, little kids talk about having boyfriends and girlfriends and getting married all the time. If that's creepy or illegal, we are all in BIG trouble.)

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 15 Jul 13 - 10:15 AM

So, Chong's a paedophile, eh? Makes sense to me...and Bobertz never lies.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jul 13 - 10:23 AM

Hell, I was already thinking about girlfriends and marriage when I was 6 or 7 years old. Little kids are often very romantic in their outlook. Give it a rest, mg. ;-) You're raising alarms over nothing.

As for Chongo, I know for a fact that he already has a very attractive human girlfriend in her early 30's, name of Renata Carson. She's a lawyer and a writer who lives in Chicago and works on the APP campaign team, so clam up, Bobert.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert
Date: 15 Jul 13 - 01:20 PM

I love it...

The infamous mg has weighed in... Chongz is threatening to not only run for president again but to have me, ahhhhh, messed up if he wins... LH says that Chongz has a girlfriend in Chicago... Everyone seems to be remembering their first wife or husband to be when they were 6 years old...

I'd say I must be on to something... Other than the usual denials...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: leeneia
Date: 15 Jul 13 - 01:41 PM

Hi, LH. So the impossible dream of meeting and loving Winona Ryder has been forgotten, eh? I think that's for the best.

Wait a minute, maybe she was somebody else's daydream...

Anyhow, I was just in the beauty shop waiting my turn for a haircut and reading about Winona in People Magazine. I was glad to see she is doing OK.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert
Date: 15 Jul 13 - 02:39 PM

Actually, leeneia, it wasn't Chongz who had the hots for Winona... It was LH hisself... But, yeah... Looks like his current love interest is Sarah Palin...

As for Chongz having a girlfriend in Chicago who is 30 and a lawyer??? The reality is that Chongz has a picture he cut out of a magazine of a 30 year old lawyer from Chicago hangin' on his wall... He's never actually met this woman and this woman doesn't even know he exists... That is, if he exists...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 13 - 03:29 PM

I shall begin calling him/her "Chongxx" to remind her/him of his/her chromosomal makeup.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Jul 13 - 05:51 PM

Hi, leeneia. ;-) No, I'm still quite fond of Winona, and I'm glad to hear she's doing well. Haven't seen her in the movies much lately. Thanks for alerting me to the People Magazine article.

Chongo never has had any interest in Winona as far as I know, but he certainly had a crush on Lauren Bacall for many years, and he was hung up on Kathleen Turner for awhile too.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert
Date: 15 Jul 13 - 09:15 PM

You got any pics of Chongz and Ms. Turner???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Jul 13 - 10:08 PM

Why would anyone want a picture of a filthy, flea-ridden chimpanzee?

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 01:00 AM

Well...Bobert has some odd fetishes, you know.

Nope, sorry to say I do not have any photos of Chongo and Ms Turner. He only admired her from afar. Anyway, even if I did have such photos, I would certainly not send them.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 10:22 AM

So what sort of photos DO you have?

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 10:32 AM

I'm not telling.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: leeneia
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 11:43 AM

Lauren Bacall? For a chimp, he has excellent and sophisticated tastes. More'n I can say for some actual humans, present company excepted of course.

I guess I better find out who Kathleen Turner is.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: leeneia
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 11:49 AM

Hey, she's from Springfield, Missouri! I bet she secretly plays the banjo. No, probably dulcimer.

She looks like the ying to Lauren Bacall's yang. Chongo certainly covers the bases.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 12:11 PM

Kathleen Turner starred in a film noire movie back in the 80s and it was called "Body Heat". Unforgettable!!! I still get chills thinkin' about it. She was like the reincarnation of Lauren Bacall back then. She was also in another real good flick called "Romancing the Stone" and several more after that...some pretty good stuff...but nothin' matches her first appearance in "Body Heat". I recommend you rent it and watch it, cos it's the best example of film noire since the 40s.

These are the kinda women I focus on...REAL grown-up women with chutzpah, not underage little overstuffed redneck know-nothin' cabbage patch yoyos like Honey Boo-Boo. Bobertz is a sick man! I bet he watches that show religiously.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 12:20 PM

ME thinks the Chimp doth protest overmuch. Honey Boo Boo is actually a good choice for him. They have so much in common.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 12:42 PM

Yeah? Like what?

The guantlet has been thrown down, sir! Do your worst. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 01:19 PM

Amos has it right... Actually, if Honey Boo Boo were to marry Chongz she would be marrying down... She can do a lot better...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 01:28 PM

LOL! Oh, what a terrible thing to say! And of a brave Chimp who has dedicated his life to upholding the law, fighting crime, and reducing local whisky stocks by a large enough amount that the bars in his immediate area need not fear the ravages of the Recession...

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 02:02 PM

...and doesn't pay for any drinks, cigars, rent, food, anything. Some call it "foraging" but most call it "dumpster diving" or "asking for a handout."

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: mg
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 03:47 PM

Are you serious putting this on the internet about a little girl in a dysfunctional situation...

kinda women I focus on...REAL grown-up women with chutzpah, not underage little overstuffed redneck know-nothin' cabbage patch yoyos like Honey Boo-Boo

She is a real, live 7 year old girl. How can you say this in public about a little girl? I consider this to be child abuse plain and simple. And to imply that you are focusing on a seven-year old gets into pedophile territory, and I have no doubt that the poor girl has some pedophile monsters interested in her. I will be writing to moderators about this.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 04:38 PM

Well, it's quite simple, mg...we are damnable and insensitive monsters, every last one of us, we are people who have no respect for trashy reality TV shows that exploit the innocent, and who are unrepentant about it. Like hosts of humorous writers and satirists long before us, people like Mark Twain, Lenny Bruce, Catspaw49, Andy Kaufmann, Woody Allen, George Carlin, Dick Gregory, and numerous others of their criminal ilk, we dare to hold up a mirror in front of the bizarre nonsense that haunts our age and make fun of the sillier aspects of the decadent society we live in.

We should all be arrested! Dragged before a tribunal. Possibly crucified or burnt at the stake.

And Bobert is the WORST! Yessir, he's the ringleader. He started it. I suggest you contact not only the moderators, but also your local, state, and federal officials, and see if you can get us all at least deported, if not executed.

Get right to it.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 04:44 PM

I think the OP was about ther public persona, not the individual playing it.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 04:51 PM

Is this the same "mg" who once scolded us for using the term "redneck"???

My, my, my...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: mg
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 04:59 PM

No. You have no respect for the feelings and probably legal rights of a 7 year old girl in an unhealthy situation.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 05:01 PM

Then who are you, mg??? And where is the other mg...

As for your self righteous rant???

LH addressed that sufficiently well...

In other words, "Ya gotta lighten up, baby"...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 06:05 PM

Whether you know it or not, mg, you are indulging in a bit of "recreational outrage" that has no real basis in fact. We all care about and respect the legal rights of underage girls just as much as you do, and Bobert frequently has made humorous references to the travesty of a show in which Honey Boo Boo appears with her family because he thinks it's a creepy, tasteless, and exploitative show.

As for me...I've never seen it except for a couple of brief clips on Youtube, caused by simply wondering what Bobert was talking about in the first place, and I have no desire to see it any further. I don't think it has any audience in Canada.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: leeneia
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 10:40 PM

Bear in mind, mg, that an adult chimp and a little human girl have the same naivete and the same penchant for mischief. They are soul-mates, and that's all the farther it will go.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: mg
Date: 16 Jul 13 - 11:28 PM

She is in probably second grade. The only comments appropriate for over 60 year old men or women to be making about her are to be protective, concerned about her situation, or gratitude that their own daughters and granddaughters are not in the public eye like that..to be the subject of cruelty and ridicule.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert
Date: 17 Jul 13 - 09:04 AM

Like I said, mg, "Ya' gotta lighten up, baby"... Satire is one of the oldest tools for social change... I mean, just check out Saturday Night Live, Jon Stewart, etc... This is the manner in which adults try to expose just how stupid lots of stuff is...

No one here is supportive of the exploitation of children and so we use satire to get people thinking... Satire works better than dogmatism which is usually met with immediate push-back...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Jeri
Date: 17 Jul 13 - 09:26 AM

After the last thread you started about this, I figured you knew you stepped on your dick. Now, I just think your a little pervy. If LH had started something like this, it would probably be a little less ignorant... but I doubt he'd enjoy talking about it as much as you. It's not "satire". Satire takes finesse.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 17 Jul 13 - 10:12 AM

Finesse ain't Bobertz long suit. Ook! Ook! But he ain't actually pervy in the least. I mighta said he was up there somewhere, but I was just funnin' around, see? He started this thread for one purpose...to give ME a dig in the ribs, see? He likes tryin' to irritate me from time to time, specially when he's havin' a slow day with not much to do. Could be the tractor is broke again. Yeah, that's probably it.

Anyways, he is just pickin' on me to try to get me to pop up like a jack-in-the-box so's we can fight about it for 40 or 50 posts.

Why does he do this? Well, number one, he's a bit of a dumbass. I know this coz I visited him once on one of them presidential campaigns. I figgered he could maybe help snag votes for the APP in his godforsaken neck of the woods down in Hillbillyland. So I had a chance to observe Bobertz' lifestyle for a few days. I noticed he has a tragic lack of finesse! Ook! Ook! ;-D This is why he's darned near killed himself with the tractor, the chainsaw, the can opener, etc.

Number two? He admires me. Yup, he wishes he was a lot more like me and had 4 hands insteada just two. Think how much more finesse ya can have with 4 hands. Most humans experience these feelings of inferiority around Chimps and other primates, so it's not strange that it would affect Bobertz that way.

Anyways, what I am sayin' here is, don't be so hard on the guy. He is basically innocent, just not that bright.

- Chongo

p.s. - "satire takes finesse" No, Jeri...GOOD satire takes finesse. Clever satire takes finesse. Poor or clumsy satire lacks finesse. What Bobertz done on this thread was merely poor and clumsy satire, nothin' more, and that's all there is to it.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Jul 13 - 10:15 AM

This is spin-off content from the Mother of All BS thread. Just as it would in inappropriate for anyone to try to wade into the MOAB with a red pen to edit the content, this one should be avoided by people who don't have the mindset to suspend reality and just play with the words. It's in the BS section for that reason, and shouldn't be taken any more seriously than any other BS thread.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 13 - 10:18 AM

Satire requires finesse?

Let Sporus tremble — "What? that thing of silk,
Sporus, that mere white curd of ass's milk?
Satire or sense, alas! can Sporus feel?
Who breaks a Butterfly upon a Wheel?"
Yet let me flap this Bug with gilded wings,
This painted Child of Dirt that stinks and stings;
Whose Buzz the Witty and the Fair annoys,
Yet Wit ne'er tastes, and Beauty ne'er enjoys,
So well-bred Spaniels civilly delight
In mumbling of the Game they dare not bite.
Eternal Smiles his Emptiness betray,
As shallow streams run dimpling all the way.
Whether in florid Impotence he speaks,
And, as the Prompter breathes, the Puppet squeaks;
Or at the Ear of Eve, familiar Toad,
Half Froth, half Venom, spits himself abroad,
In Puns, or Politicks, or Tales, or Lyes,
Or Spite, or Smut, or Rymes, or Blasphemies.
His Wit all see-saw between that and this,
Now high, now low, now Master up, now Miss,
And he himself one vile Antithesis.
Amphibious Thing! that acting either Part,
The trifling Head, or the corrupted Heart!
Fop at the Toilet, Flatt'rer at the Board,
Now trips a Lady, and now struts a Lord.,/i>
          -- Pope, Epistle to Arbuthnot

or

...And pond'ring which of all his sons was fit
To reign, and wage immortal war with wit;
Cry'd, 'tis resolv'd; for nature pleads that he
Should only rule, who most resembles me:
Shadwell alone my perfect image bears,
Mature in dullness from his tender years.
Shadwell alone, of all my sons, is he
Who stands confirm'd in full stupidity.
The rest to some faint meaning make pretence,
But Shadwell never deviates into sense.
Some beams of wit on other souls may fall,
Strike through and make a lucid interval;
But Shadwell's genuine night admits no ray,
His rising fogs prevail upon the day:
Besides his goodly fabric fills the eye,
And seems design'd for thoughtless majesty...
         --Dryden, MacFlecknoe

No, satire does not need or often use finesse. Usually it needs a club to make its meaning clear.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 17 Jul 13 - 10:28 AM

But Rap, surely

"Who breaks a Butterfly upon a Wheel?"

has a knife-like aptness that requires finesse. But I must admit that it's only one line in a long diatribe.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert
Date: 17 Jul 13 - 10:38 AM

As per usual, Chongz tries to propagate that falsehood that I had a life threatening episode with a can opener... I categorically deny those accusation... It's more the other way around 'cause I got the best of the can opener, then wrestled it to the ground, duct taped the sumabich and took it to one of those recycling centers where it was crushed and then shredded and is now part of some toaster or car somewhere...

And unless you have pictorial evidence to the contrary, Chongz, which y6ou don't, then you can take that story out of your organ grinding routine...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jul 13 - 10:41 AM

Whoa!!! Powerful stuff there, Rap! Seems like a mixture of finesse and blunt "clubbery" to me.

I find it quite funny that anyone could possibly take ANY of the stuff in this thread seriously and try to turn it into some kind of indictment of Bobert's character.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,saulgoldie
Date: 17 Jul 13 - 12:47 PM

D'oh! Just as I thought I had her out of my mind, there you go mentioning Bu-Bu again! At least do not mention what'shername, what'shername, what'shername, what'shisname, what'shername, and of course, what'shisname. I just don't think I could STAND it.

Saul

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 17 Jul 13 - 02:52 PM

"what'shername, what'shername, what'shername, what'shisname, what'shername, and of course, what'shisname."

Are you referring to Merrill, Lynch, Pierce, Fenner and Smith?

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jul 13 - 03:29 PM

DON'T think about Manatees! Or Dugongs either. Just don't do it, okay?

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Jul 13 - 10:57 PM

Leeneia, did you know that the actress Dina Merrill was the daughter of the Merrill of Merrill, Lynch, etc? Now there was an actress!

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,Sapper minus cookie
Date: 18 Jul 13 - 07:21 AM

Wondering who Honey Boo Boo was, I did a Google and now feel sick.
Do people actually watch this crap???

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Jul 13 - 09:18 AM

They no only wat6ch this crap, Sapper, but stuff that is equally retarded... The History channel is full of so-called reality shows depicting mostly Southern people as barely civilized, living in cabins in the swamps and hunting alligators, living in tents in the mountains making moonshine and living in just about any primitive manner doing some very stupid stuff...

It's amazing how many folks watch these shows who just like to see other people as miserable as themselves???

Go figure???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 13 - 09:26 AM

Don't forget "Pawn Stars". But at least there is some tiny bit of history attached to some of the items.

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Jul 13 - 09:28 AM

Actually, "Pawn Stars" isn't one of the shows I'd consider to be void of intelligence... Seems there is a ton of history in that show and it isn't about making fun of dumb and mostly white people...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Honey Boo-Boo Turns Chongz Down Again
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 18 Jul 13 - 10:05 AM

People like watchin' shows about morons and idiots because it makes 'em feel like they ain't doin' so bad in comparison, coz they ain't quite that stupid themselves. This is also why Chimps enjoy watchin' Gorillas and Gorillas enjoy watchin' Baboons. Baboons, of course, watch other Baboons, thinkin' "Look at that idiot! Did you SEE what he just did? Did you SEE that??? I'd never do a thing as dumb as that."

- Chongo