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BS: Another Bobert Story...
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Subject: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: Bobert Date: 23 Oct 13 - 08:15 PM So this story has so sad, some glad and a big surprise... Back a long time ago I was dating my late wife, Judy... She lived a couple miles from me in Wes Ginny and she had a bad habit of falling asleep at her home with all the lights on which stayed on all night long... So I got a call from her about 2:00 in the morning, "I've been beaten and I'm hurt..." I was there in less time it takes to say that that was the sad part of the story... Turns out that someone had broken in and woke her accidentally while trying to steal something that might have looked like a computer but was only a briefcase... I waking her this person hit her with the briefcase which broke her jaw... Sniff... End of sad story... After a couple weeks and an operation to repair the jaw Judy was real paranoid... She insisted that I stay with her at night and she was scared of everyone... She insisted that when we went out that I take my 12 gauge shotgun with us... Judy loved auctions and so one Saturday we went to an auction out near Martinsburg, Wes Ginny and she bid on won a folding red wood love seat... After the auction she went back to my Chevy Suburban with the deep tinted rear windows while I was sent to collect the things she had bought... Well, I had collected everything but the redwood love seat and went back to get it while Judy sat in the middle (back) seat in the Suburban with the shotgun... When I got back to where the love seat was I found it to be gone... Hmmmmmmmm??? I walked back to the Suburban and next to where we were parked was a Chevy station wagon and in the back, along with a bunch of other stuff, was the love seat... Hmmmmmmmm, Part B... So I look to see if I could get in the car... Locked!!! Danged!!! So I'm looking thru the windows of the car and see some mail on the dashboard and there's some mail addressed to "James Stickley"??? Hmmmmmmmm, Part 3... So I tell Judy that I'm going back to the auction office and see what's what with this James Stickley and find that he is a regular and tell the folks to page him which they did... A couple minutes later he shows up and I confront him about taking a the love seat that we have bought and he made a nunch of excuses like "People buy stuff and leave it behind"... "They do, sir?"... I ask... So I tell him to follow me back to my Suburban - wtih his Chevy wagon next to it with out love seat - which he does... Now ya'll have to remember that Judy is in the back seat with a Winchester 12 gauge shotgun... Mr. Stckley, who by now I have in mind renamed "Sticky Fingers" Stickley, is making excuses all the way back to the parking lot and unlocks his car, removes the love seat, hands it to me as I open the side door of the Suburban and there is Judy with that shotgun on her lap pointing at the opening door... I'm lookin' over at "Sticky Fingers" as he locks in on the sight of Judy with a 12 gauge shotgun pointed at him and seeing pure "Oh shit" all over his face followed by "Please don't shoot me" followed by "Geeze, maybe I should be a crook:... All these things flashed over "Sticky Fingers" face in matter of three or four seconds... Well, folks, we loaded the love seat while Sticky Fingers" died a thousand deaths and left him with his thoughts... I lost Judy a couple years later but whenever times were sad all we had to do was bring back that day and that one story would always jump start us away from the realities of cancer and toward laughter and getting away from that reality, if only for a few minutes... Thank you, James "Sticky Fingers" Stickey for being a crook and for the memories... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: YorkshireYankee Date: 23 Oct 13 - 08:27 PM Great story, Bobert! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: ChanteyLass Date: 23 Oct 13 - 08:31 PM I wonder if Mr. Stickley ever tried that again! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 23 Oct 13 - 08:39 PM what an experience! great story, Bobert. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: Amos Date: 23 Oct 13 - 08:45 PM I admire the way you handled it, Mister Bobertz!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: Bobert Date: 23 Oct 13 - 08:57 PM I just do what I'm told, Amos... Just read the lines... I don't write my script... I is a great story... And, unfortunately, all true... Sold the shotgun when I moved to NC... Bill's gun shop... Didn't need it any more... "Sticky Fingers" stayed behind... B;~) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: Rapparee Date: 23 Oct 13 - 09:05 PM Mighta cured him. It'd damned sure cure me. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: Ebbie Date: 23 Oct 13 - 09:10 PM The really hilarious part is that his vehicle was parked-unknowingly- right next to yours. Perfect. LOL! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: Bobert Date: 23 Oct 13 - 09:12 PM They say the "fact is stranger than fiction", Eb... If only I could make up such a story... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: Elmore Date: 23 Oct 13 - 10:25 PM Thanks for the story Bobert. I can use a laugh these days. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: Pete Jennings Date: 24 Oct 13 - 05:44 AM Nobody argues with a shotgun! LOL! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 24 Oct 13 - 01:41 PM Good story, Bobert. Justice triumphs! But next time, get the lady friend a dog, not a shotgun. You know why. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: GUEST,olddude Date: 24 Oct 13 - 07:18 PM LOL perfect but ya should have knee capped him bobster |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: Bobert Date: 24 Oct 13 - 07:42 PM Didn't need to, Ol'ster... Just that look on "Sticky Fingers" face when I opened the side door of the Suburban when he saw a mad woman with a shotgun pointed at him was a "knee cappin'" on meth... B;~) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: SINSULL Date: 25 Oct 13 - 10:20 AM Great story, bobert. Judy is an inspiration to all women who have had to deal with monsters. LOL Sticky, Slimy fingers will never do that again. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: jacqui.c Date: 25 Oct 13 - 10:35 AM Good one Bobert. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: GUEST,crazy little woman Date: 25 Oct 13 - 05:24 PM Good story, but it IS true that people buy stuff at auctions and then don't take it home. In a cafe years ago I heard a man talking about how his family had bought an ice box at an auction and had left it behind. They had bid $3 for it, and at the time I overheard him, old ice boxes were selling for $200. He said. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: Bobert Date: 25 Oct 13 - 05:42 PM Yes, I know that lots of stuff gets left behind and once everyone has left if there is stuff left behind then it's fair pickin's... In this case the auction was still going on... Ol' "Sticky Fingers" didn't wait 15 minutes after Judy purchased it before puttin' his sticky fingers on that folding love seat... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp Date: 26 Oct 13 - 01:03 PM I love yer story, Bobertz! You did exactly the right thing. Make 'em sweat...it's good fer them. They think twice before tryin' that again. Mind you, I would dragged the guy out there by the scruff of his neck...and no need for the shotgun...but I tend to be kinda demonstrative, cos I'm a Chimp. - Chongo |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity Date: 26 Oct 13 - 01:27 PM So now you believe in 'gun control' except when it comes to those ruthless, pesky turtles! I guess you had to take it out on something!! GfS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: Bobert Date: 26 Oct 13 - 04:36 PM I believe in sane gun control... There was nothing insane about the way that went down with Sticky Fingers Stickley... Ya' know what, Chongz... I think Sticky Fingers was sweatin' all the way back to his car thinkin' that once I got Judy's folding love seat that I might put a whup on him and that's a good thing that he was a 'sweatin'... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Another Bobert Story... From: frogprince Date: 26 Oct 13 - 10:35 PM "folding love seat"...hmmmm... did it fold out into a bed?? |
