BS: A new unit of measure.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: gnu
Date: 25 Mar 14 - 06:33 PM

Be da lard tunderin Jaysus b'y! I told ye I wanted em JACK! I'll afta fry dem fookers wit da eads on an da guts in. What don't ye unnerstan about smelt n JACK smelt? Do I gotta punt fer me own fer fook sake?

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Mar 14 - 04:44 PM

Send the apprentice to fetch 50' of shoreline.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 25 Mar 14 - 04:32 PM

How many Wales' in a Luxembourg?

It's the other way round. There are just over 8 Luxembourgs in a Wales.

It strikes me that most of the people who nod knowingly when someone describes something as being "as big as Luxembourg", or some other such analogy, often have no real idea what is being described. I follow very few team games and thus only have the vaguest idea of what 3 football fields would relate to in actual area.

DC

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bert
Date: 25 Mar 14 - 11:42 AM

Yes Gurney. I was a Plater, the ones who mark out the steel and then we'd pass it on to the Burner, with his cutting torch.

The line was made with a scriber and accented with center punch marks.

The thickness problem was not with the marked line but with the width of the burning nozzle.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Mar 14 - 10:42 AM

How many Wales' in a Luxembourg?

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 25 Mar 14 - 09:52 AM

Just remembered, in the same vein, 'sky hooks' and 'striped paint'.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 25 Mar 14 - 09:51 AM

Remember apprentices being sent for 'a long weight' or 'a long stand'?
I suppose nowadays they'd be sobbing buckets and claiming compensation for 'bullying' or some similar nonsense.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Musket
Date: 25 Mar 14 - 05:08 AM

Reading about the firkin reminds me of someone in a chippy years ago where I was in the queue and asking for a fish and a firkin. Turned out he was wanting a firkin great fish, or cod tail end as he got...

Whereas where I was brought up, you asked for "one of each". (Meaning fish and chips.)

Carrying on the old sayings related to numbers game, a bloke I worked with when an apprentice used to say that if arseholes were gold, only the rich would have them.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Rob Naylor
Date: 25 Mar 14 - 01:28 AM

At the other end of the scale from "smallest unit" there's the:

Firkin

It's the British Standard Unit Of Excess Measure, and is calibrated in twos. ie:

two firkin big

two firkin long

two firkin heavy

etc

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Rob Naylor
Date: 25 Mar 14 - 01:23 AM

Nigel P: The definition of a 'gill' as 1/4 pint much predates Wikipaedia.
The standard pub measure for spirits (rigidly enforced) used to be 1/6 of a gill (1/24 of a pint)

True for pub measures and also generally in many places, but in Yorkshire where I grew up "a gill" wqas definitely used to mean a "half pint" in non-pub scenarios. We used to get "2 pints and a gill" of milk every day, for instance.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Gurney
Date: 25 Mar 14 - 01:15 AM

Bert, you had a specialist to cut your steel???
Ooooh, posh!

You must be talking wax pencil, not lead pencil, or working at Derby.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Donuel
Date: 24 Mar 14 - 09:45 PM

Olympic swimming pools are used to measure large amounts of liquid spills that are either disgusting or toxic.

There was already the cunt hair discussion here many years ago.
Machinists who could tool to a 1/10,000th (before lasers) were real hot shit.

Isn't gnu an engineer?

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 24 Mar 14 - 12:14 PM

Nigel P.: You are using "linear" in the geometrical sense of stretched out on a line. In the algebraic sense, "linear" indeed means following an arithmetic progression. There is no physically significant quantity to which position on the Mohs scale is directly proportional.
Apologies to caterpillar wrestler, I wasn't aware that there was a different 'technical' meaning.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bert
Date: 24 Mar 14 - 06:44 AM

Gurney, The line thickness was important when giving instructions to the burner who was cutting our steel.

Leave the line in, Split the line, or take the line out.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Mr Red
Date: 24 Mar 14 - 06:43 AM

that was the doctor's fee?

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 24 Mar 14 - 03:44 AM

Gurney, that reminds me of my Irish mother. If we were looking a bit poorly, we were categorised as "Two penn'orth of God-help-us." This went up the scale depending on how ill we were. If she classed us as "Six penn'orth of God-help-us" the doctor was sent for.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Gurney
Date: 23 Mar 14 - 10:31 PM

In my youth, a little bit more was 'Just a whisker more,' referring to a gnat's. About 1/4 cock.

Since the advent of cheap radial-arm saws, I find myself muttering 'Half a line,' depending on how sharp my pencil is.

For dogs; 'Big as a donkey/horse/rottweiler/wouldn't make a good pie.'

Small amount; 'Two pennoth of f**k-all'

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Janie
Date: 23 Mar 14 - 09:04 PM

Apparently Carl Sagan has 2 units of measurement named after him. Both of the below are from Wikipedia articles or citations.

Sagan's number is the number of stars in the observable universe. It is named in honor of Carl Sagan.[34] This number is reasonably well defined, since we know what stars are and what the observable universe is, but its value is not known with any certainty. It is presently estimated to be approximately 70 sextillion in short scale (70·1021).[35][36]

And then, humorously, As a humorous tribute to Sagan and his association with the catchphrase "billions and billions", a sagan has been defined as a unit of measurement equivalent to a large number of anything.[48][49][50]

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Joe_F
Date: 23 Mar 14 - 09:03 PM

Nigel P.: You are using "linear" in the geometrical sense of stretched out on a line. In the algebraic sense, "linear" indeed means following an arithmetic progression. There is no physically significant quantity to which position on the Mohs scale is directly proportional.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 23 Mar 14 - 01:57 PM

GUEST,Black belt caterpillar wrestler
The Mohs scale of harness is not linear either. There are variable differences between the numbers as they are only intended as an order of hardness with a list of easily compared substances.

Sorry to disagree, but the Mohs scale is linear. It represents hardness on a progression from softest to hardest with each point along the scale being an increase from the previous point.
It may be that the marked points do not follow any arithmetic or geometric progression, but that doesn't stop it being a linear scale.

Cheers
Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: gnu
Date: 22 Mar 14 - 09:17 PM

'Half of that' is more than enough many times. And, you can always add more but not always take any out.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 22 Mar 14 - 07:54 PM

Not quite like a quart of the Johnny Jump Up, then, Bert!

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bert
Date: 22 Mar 14 - 06:59 PM

Steve, The "half pint" is still used in Devon and Cornwall.

It is the measure that is recommended to strangers when they ask for a pint of Scrumpy.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 22 Mar 14 - 06:26 PM

Quick things were, in my youth, described as happening 'before you could say knife', or 'before you could say Jack Robinson'. And long things would continue 'until the cows come home'. There was also 'a month of Sundays'. I don't hear these expressions any more, so probably they're defunct.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 22 Mar 14 - 06:02 PM

The "half-pint" is a redundant measure here in north Cornwall. Just as well, as I never really understood how it worked.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Mar 14 - 04:22 PM

At this time of year, practically instantly is measured in shakes of a lamb's tail.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: gnu
Date: 22 Mar 14 - 06:44 AM

The Beckhamel is a measure of spin applied to a football by a striker.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,ketchdana
Date: 22 Mar 14 - 02:41 AM

How you take the measure can make a difference.

A Texas rancher was boasting to a foreigner (a non-Texan) about the size of his ranch: "I can get in my truck when the sun comes up, drive all day and still not reach the far fence by sundown!"

The reply: "Yep, I once had a truck like that too."

...Bob

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 21 Mar 14 - 11:15 PM

The units in which you measure something make little difference as long as you use them correctly, and incorrect or inaccurate usage accounts for much falsity, especially in advertising.

A TV commercial running in my area recently (and very frequently) claims that a particular business is conveniently located "only 6 minutes east of Wichita at 960 miles per hour."

Being in the area recently, I "clocked" the distance and found that the ad is "off by 4.8 seconds." I'm not sure whether to be astonished that they got that close, or annoyed by the error.

John

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: gnu
Date: 21 Mar 14 - 03:45 PM

Yes, Donuel. My cousin had an orange at the base of his brain.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Mar 14 - 12:08 PM

Tumors are measured in sizes of various citrus fruits.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 21 Mar 14 - 08:50 AM

The Mohs scale of harness is not linear either. There are variable differences between the numbers as they are only intended as an order of hardness with a list of easily compared substances.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 10:17 AM

Michael, LOL!
It also rains 'sheets' and 'stair-rods' here. Quite a nice set of domestic necessities.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 08:40 AM

Twaddle is also used for non-thixotropic fluids. 47% caustic soda solution has a specific gravity of 100 twaddle. This was the strength at which it was shipped out by road tanker from the chemical works where I was an apprentice.

The strangest unit I have come across was in the mid-Cheshire chemical industry. mls normal on 20 was the amount of normal* acid, in millilitres, required to titrate twenty mls of sample.

*normal acid being the gram equivalent weight per litre


DC

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Mr Red
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 07:55 AM

the unit used for thixotropic media is a twaddle. They use it in the pottery industry when using slip. Slip is liquid clay, with something in it to make it thixotropic. Think non-drip paint. Slip is like leather but when stirred with a mechanised paddle it runs like pouring cream. Then run into moulds and poured out after a few minutes. What sticks to the plaster (of paris) is yer pottery - unfired.

PS That was twaddle - it is spelled Twaddell and presumably named after the guy who invented the Twaddell Hydrometer. Which gives a measure relative to water.

So what units do we measure twaddle in? and should it be a pancake or does that measure whaffle?

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 07:28 AM

Rainfall in farm country around my area is just rain if it's a nomal event, but a heavy rain is "enough to drown a duck," or alternatively "a real toad strangler."

Agreed that in the aircraft building business "half a CH" is generally about as close as one can get for an "adjustment" although the machines are expected to do a little better once properly set up - sometimes.

John

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,CrazyEddie
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 07:10 AM

About as big as the thin end of nothing, whittled down to a fine point.

The square root of FA

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bert
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 06:43 AM

Then of course there is the Beaufort Scale which is not at all scientific, just delightfully empirical.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bert
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 06:34 AM

But sometimes a heavy rain is coming down in bucketfuls.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 05:50 AM

That's why there are so many poodles left in the road after heavy rain, Eliza...

~xMx~

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: MMario
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 05:50 AM

To the moon and back is an "Alice"

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 04:45 AM

Heavy rain here is always comprised of 'cats and dogs'. My daft husband who, typically African, takes everything absolutely literally, actually looked out of the window in great excitement the first time I used this expression.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bert
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 04:32 AM

They are measured in baseballs here in Colorado Seamus.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 20 Mar 14 - 01:37 AM

If it weren't for golf-balls how would we measure hailstones?

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 11:43 PM

um. gnu? Who's there?

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 06:43 PM

At the lab where I worked while in college, the commonly cited unit for a "torque" was a "flea-fart angstrom."

One of my associates determined a conversion factor for translating the unit into something more widely used (dyne centimeters?) but never published the result - and we're not sure his flea was a standard one.

John

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 02:23 PM

Aye, thou. "Gerrard's thunderbolt of a shot shot went within a thou of the crossbar".

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 02:22 PM

repost about smallest identifiable units:

My wife's mother used to have a boarder, very nice fellow, except for an 'interesting' habit...when there was shared food in the refrigerator (i.e.,ice cream), he would never want to eat the last serving, so he would take half of it...which led to some VERY small portions. It has become a joke in our family in referring to a bit of stuff almost too small to matter, but still put back in the ('fridge'), that there is only a "Weiseger" left, after his last name. Has kind of a ring to it..I can imagine 100 years from now scholars arguing over the origin and spelling.."Weissiger"..."Wiesiger".."wissiger"..etc..

"There any of that chawklet pie left, Maw?" "Wal, Juniors been at it...only about a Weiseger left"

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 02:21 PM

The smallest adjustment that could be made, if I remember correctly, was a "gnat's dick"

"Gnat's cock" our end. Two gnat's cocks equal one nun's chuff.

Subject: RE: BS: A new unit of measure.
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 19 Mar 14 - 02:00 PM

My old dad was a bit of an amateur engineer. He loved to show me how to make things, and he had a gadget that measured tiny gaps using a unit which he called a 'thou' (I suppose it meant a thousandth of an inch) I was only a little girl, and I remember being very puzzled in church singing, "Guide Me O Thou Great Redeemer". It seemed as if God was not great, but rather tiny.