BS: Some more Sods'-Law

Subject: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 26 Aug 15 - 07:37 AM

We've had several threads with examples of Sods' Law, but there are always a few more to add.

I have just been reminded yet again of that peculiar phenomenon, whereby the very act of setting down on the table a delicious hot newly cooked plate of food has a strong tendency immediately to start the phone ringing.

Sod it!

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: GUEST,Jon Heslop
Date: 26 Aug 15 - 08:56 AM

Samuel Taylor Coleridge had a similar problem:

"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
a statley pleasure dome decree......"

Bugger! there's some-one at the door!

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: GUEST,Sol
Date: 26 Aug 15 - 10:04 AM

Sod's Law #111: The total sum of all the loose change in your pocket is equal to one penny less than the price of the item you are just about to pay for at the till.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Aug 15 - 11:30 AM

What we murcans call Murphy's Law? Also Niven fans call Finagle's?

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 26 Aug 15 - 01:23 PM

I pulled into the car park at Taunton Deane services on the M5. I opened the car door and my mobile phone slipped gently out of my hand on to the ground, into a little puddle of water. The water destroyed the phone. That puddle was the only puddle in the whole car park.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Ed T
Date: 26 Aug 15 - 02:57 PM

keep off the sod 

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Joe_F
Date: 26 Aug 15 - 08:26 PM

She was only a gravedigger's daughter, but she liked lying under the sod.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 15 - 09:15 PM

Where ever you start, even in the middle, what you are looking for is at the other end.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Aug 15 - 11:04 PM

Since someone mentioned Murphy's Law:

In the US about 30 years ago, they used to annually publish a Murphy's Law calendar. Bright red & yellow thing with each month being one example... and the cover (intentionally) printed off-center. I thought they were funny, and I bought one. I took it to work, and found a spot on the wall in a workroom by the large computer terminal. This was on a Friday. It rained a LOT over the weekend. Came in on Monday to find the building roof had leaked, and the one spot where it found our office was right over the wall with the calendar. Water ran down the wall, loosened the paper/plaster and caused the pin holding the calendar to fall, leaving the Murphy's Law calendar soaked & wrinkled on the floor.
I think there's a Murphy's Law somewhere to cover paradigm cases........

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Mr Red
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 02:47 AM

I read an article recently that was about multiple instance of this. Usually they spell disaster.
They name "polymurphisms" was coined. And "Rincewind's Rule" was the progenitor of them.
Rincewind being the magician in "Discworld" (I am told) who's spells spelled disaster.

Apparently there is a concept in aviation safety circles that says that Murphisms occur about once a flight, but they are like holes in layers and when disaster strikes several of those holes lined up. The Disaster Documentaries I see bear this out.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 03:03 AM

Do not forget the Second Law of Sod which states that the first law cannot be used to advantage.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 07:55 AM

"And so it goes..." 
― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: G-Force
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 07:55 AM

... has a strong tendency immediately to start the phone ringing.       Er, isn't that why we have answering machines?

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 07:56 AM

"I have never voted in my life... I have always known and understood that the idiots are in a majority so it's certain they will win." 
― Louis-Ferdinand Céline

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 07:58 AM

"I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different." 
― Kurt Vonnegut, A Man Without a Country

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 08:05 AM

The pen nearest the phone is the one that doesn't work.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Ed T
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 08:43 AM

""Farting at 30,000 feet is not the kind of mile high club you want to join""

""Farts in an elevator are always the smelly kind""

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 12:32 PM

My Free Cell program knows what time it is, and when I decide to play 'just one' game before going to bed, it gives me one that requires long thought and complex play to get thru.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 07:45 PM

Pick up a blues harp without looking at it and start to play. One hundred percent of times, it will be upside down. Try to plug in a USB connector. One hundred percent of times, you will have to turn it the other way up before it'll go in.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: GUEST,Bert
Date: 27 Aug 15 - 11:08 PM

That's why usb connectors are usually marked on the top. Trouble is they are marked in black on a black background.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Musket
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 03:12 AM

Cream on a cream background... Not enough splitting of hairs in this thread.

Sod's law that when you have eleventeen pints, it must have been the second one that was near to the end of the barrel and gave you a thick head this morning...

Murphy's law is a bit like Guinness's law, only slightly sweeter and not so chewable.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 04:27 AM

Likewise with those mini- and micro-USB and HDMI plugs. They have a built-in requirement to be turned over the other way before they'll go in.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 04:31 AM

Good thing that mobiles have replaced the old phone booths. Did you ever notice that, whatever direction you approached one from, the door was always on the other side?

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: GUEST,Musket
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 05:25 AM

Aye, and damned useful on the way home from the pub...

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: fat B****rd
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 01:37 PM

Sod's Law for me says that if I ever plan to do anything in the garden it will rain.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 01:49 PM

A story we recorded from an elderly dancer from County Clare.
A farmer working in his field jagegd his leg on a piece of rusty barbed wire.
He did nothing about it, and after a while it became so painful and swollen that he was forced to go to the County Hospital in Ennis, where they told him that the leg was badly infected and would have to be removed.
A couple of days later, he was visited by a neighbour, who asked him how he was.
"Good and bad", he replied.
"Give us the bad news first" the neighbour responded.
"Well - they operated last night, and they cut the wrong leg off".
"That's awful - what's the good news?"
"The other leg's getting better" he was told.
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: GUEST,Kampervan
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 02:05 PM

No, USB plugs have 3 positions,

The first one you try - which doesn't go in.

So you turn it over and try again - it still doesn't go in.

So you turn it over to the position that you tried first - and it goes in perfectly.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 02:59 PM

Sod's Law for me says that if I ever plan to do anything in the garden it will rain.

That's not Sod's Law. That's good fortune.

DC

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Joe_F
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 03:17 PM

There are 4 ways to put a card into a slot (magnetic stripe top or bottom, left or right). Sod's law suggests that you should always get it right on the 4th try -- but that assumes you can remember reliably which orientations you have already tried.

There are 4 ways to put on a T-shirt (inside out or not, backwards or not). But before you can try any of them, you have to figure out which of the 4 openings you should put your head into, which you should poke it out thru, etc. Paying attention sometimes helps.

And on and on.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Paul Reade
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 04:38 PM

I started working in IT in 1970. On an early training course the lecturer said we should always remember Murphy's four laws:-

1    If something can go wrong, it will
2    If something cannot possibly go wrong, it definitely will
3    It will always go wrong at the worst time possible
4    Remember Murphy was an optimist!

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 28 Aug 15 - 07:38 PM

Today has been sunny from the word go. This morning we did all our shopping and in the early afternoon I did the essential garden chores while Mrs Steve cleaned all the downstairs. All the while, the sun beamed down. At about 3.30, Mrs Steve got her sun lounger out of the shed and put it up. That very minute, that very minute I tell you, the sun went behind a cloud and didn't come out again. This not only confirms Sod's Law, it also proves that either (a) there is no God, or (b) there is a God but he's a complete piss-taking bastard.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 29 Aug 15 - 03:46 AM

The chances of something going right are inversely proportional to the number and importance of the people watching.

If more than one thing can go wrong, the one that does will be the one that causes the most damage.

DC

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 29 Aug 15 - 10:22 AM

If there's a simple and straightforward job that needs doing, there several complex and fiddly jobs that need doing first before you can get to the simple and straightforward one.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Aug 15 - 11:13 AM

If you drop a pill you are about to take....even if it falls right at your feet... it will bounce and roll into some inaccessible spot.... or even totally disappear. In the latter case, you will find it a couple hours later by stepping on it.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Joe_F
Date: 29 Aug 15 - 06:24 PM

The three laws of thermodynamics (other than the zeroth) have been summarized as follows:
1. You can't win.
2. You can't even break even.
3. You can't get out of the game.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Aug 15 - 07:08 PM

I spent hours once removing a bad reed from a harmonica reedplate and replacing it with a good one cannibalised from another harp. It's a fiddly and tricky procedure. Half way through the operation I got distracted. I returned to the job and did all the tweaking and aligning and fine-tuning. Only when I raised the harp to my expectant lips did it dawn on me that I'd chucked the good reed away and reattached the duff one.

There is another law regarding the fixing of harmonicas. No matter how careful you are, one tiny screw will fall on to your carpet and get lost in the pile. You will never see it again. Just like Bill and his pills. I know that one only too well too.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Will Fly
Date: 30 Aug 15 - 05:29 AM

Ah Steve - take a tip from an amateur watch mender. When you service your harps, spread a large, thin white linen cloth, such as a sheet under the chair/table/work area. If your screw falls, then it'll be much easier to see.

For real emergencies have a small hand vacuum cleaner at the ready. Vacuum the whole area then go through the dust carefully - and you may well find the missing screw.

Alternatively, just say "fuck" and go for a pint.

Anyway, back on thread: My wife has an electric toothbrush. To change the batteries involves squeezing the end cap tightly while pulling it off. Of course it gets gunged up and is incredibly difficult to get off sometimes. After much squeezing, swearing and pulling, off came the cap. There, on the table, were new batteries and next to them went the dead batteries.

Guess which batteries got put back into the toothbrush...?

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Aug 15 - 05:47 AM

Yes Will, but you're forgetting that harmonica screws are designed to bounce, ricochet and roll vast distances before settling. And they have mysterious powers of camouflage to boot.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Aug 15 - 10:43 AM

I have a woodworking shop..... I often have piles of dust & shavings on the floor under my feet. The function of these piles in to make even moderate sized screws and tools disappear when, due to Sod's Law, I drop one while reaching for something.

   Thus, the most important tool I possess is a powerful magnet on the end of an extendable wand. A few seconds of dragging the business end thru a pile of shaving will 84.8291% of the time retrieve a fallen item. (You wouldn't expect Sod to allow 100%...sometimes it it days or weeks later that I discover how cleverly old Sod helped a small item to proceed to a spot where my wand cannot be deployed.)

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 30 Aug 15 - 10:43 AM

I don't know whether the following is a corollary of Sod's Law and/or Murphy's Law, but it sums up my life accurately (I reached the Biblical three score and ten last birthday) :

We are always in the shit - only the depth varies.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: GUEST,Eddie1 - Sans cookie as ever
Date: 30 Aug 15 - 01:29 PM

Steve Shaw and Will Fly - Sod's Law states quite clearly that if you are going to discuss harmonica bits, the whole thread has to be moved above the line! So get out of that then!

Eddie

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Aug 15 - 01:59 PM

I'll take the risk. I'll just remind Bill that harmonica screws are often made of brass. I rest my case.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Bill D
Date: 30 Aug 15 - 04:41 PM

I almost included the disclaimer about brass, stainless steel, etc.. parts. When I accidentally dump a jar of mixed screws (not at all a rare happening), there are always those the magnet won't get...and Sod ensures some will be missed when I get down on my poor, aging knees.

The magnet still saves me several times a day...

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: GUEST,guest strad
Date: 31 Aug 15 - 10:37 AM

Whatever I post vanishes in the electronic ether!

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: GUEST,Peter Laban
Date: 31 Aug 15 - 11:42 AM

During the seventies Dutch writer Bob den Uyl put forward that whenever you change queue, the queue you have moved to will come to an immediate standstill while the one you have just left will quickly start moving forward.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Joe_F
Date: 31 Aug 15 - 05:57 PM

Peter Laban: There is in fact a theorem that if you & your enemy join different queues at the same time, and your enemy gets to move forward before you do, then you are almost certain to catch up with him eventually, but the average time to do so is infinite.

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Mingulay
Date: 31 Aug 15 - 06:05 PM

Don't forget,of course, that 3 instances or more of sod's law in a row immediately invokes the 'Buggeration Factor'. Sod it, I just had to type that 4 times!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: GUEST,guest strad
Date: 01 Sep 15 - 09:46 AM

I'll try again! I remember a competition for Sod type laws in a magazine many years ago. The winner was the brilliant and brief
"Everything takes longer" So very true!

Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Sep 15 - 12:23 PM

Your study will only make sense as long as your research question is hazy.

Example:

Eat slow 

Subject: RE: BS: Some more Sods'-Law
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Sep 15 - 12:26 PM

Machinery never breaks down when you don't really need it.