Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: The Sandman Date: 12 Sep 16 - 05:56 AM Michael was extremely knowledgeable about folk music , he had been a good performer in his day.he was also an excellent critic He also edited folk review for many years, and loved folk music. As I understood it from various private conversations I had with him he had been an active supporter of Harold Wilsons Labour party[ That hardly makes him right wing]. He was also a very brave person who had to deal with his first wife[Valeries] request for assisted suicide, google Valerie Grosvenor Myer |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Rob Naylor Date: 12 Sep 16 - 07:59 AM Very sad news. We had a couple of arguments on here, but kept them polite and agreed to disagree when our viewpoints couldn't be reconciled. I largely agree with what Steve Shaw said above. I never met him in person, but I really wish I had. RIP. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST Date: 12 Sep 16 - 08:01 AM so very sorry to hear this. he was a good writer and reviewer. I went to visit him one time - and it was nice to have a civilised decent chat and break bread at the local pub. I liked him immensely. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Rapparee Date: 12 Sep 16 - 08:29 AM Not knowing his actual occupation, his posts led me to assume he was a librarian. There is no higher praise that can be given. He'll be missed. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,pauperback Date: 12 Sep 16 - 08:54 AM It was a privilege to know you Michael Grosvenor Myer |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,pauperback Date: 12 Sep 16 - 10:23 AM Good job, well done, they're still slagging ya right to the end (wouldn't have imagined it any different) |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Herga Kitty Date: 12 Sep 16 - 10:35 AM I was privileged to meet Michael when he came to Herga 5 years ago for the Blue Plate Specials "This is us" launch - and I used to read his reviews in the Guardian. I'm sorry to hear that he's no longer with us, and send sympathies to his family. Kitty |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Brian Peters Date: 12 Sep 16 - 02:45 PM As has been said, Michael was a 'special Mudcatter'. His long life immersed in the world of folk music, and his distinguished contributions to it, gave authority to his opinions - on matters musical, at least. I never met him but in many ways liked his persona here, and I'm glad to see some of his sparring partners saying the same. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Dave Sutherland Date: 12 Sep 16 - 05:36 PM Just got home from the Great North Run to hear this sad news. I remember Mike from way back in the 70s and his articles for Folk Review which were always controversial but always very readable. Later on Mudcat I am pleased to say we got on very well and always seemed to agree on folk music; we did however have a few friendly disagreements on football, another subject upon which he was immensely knowledgeable. RIP MGM |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 12 Sep 16 - 09:31 PM Does someone have a mailing address for his wife? I think there are a number of people who would like to send cards of condolence. Send a PM if you have it and let us know you have it - no need to post it here in the forum. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Janie Date: 13 Sep 16 - 05:56 AM Very sad to learn of this. Deepest condolences to his wife, family and all who knew him. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Bonnie Shaljean Date: 13 Sep 16 - 06:01 AM I have only just now seen this - what a horrible, horrible shock. I am so saddened to read this news (and thank you Dick for persevering). For me, Michael was one of the bright lights, both of Mudcat and of the folk & history worlds generally. I used to email-chat with him about various things, and he was always interesting, knowledgeable, and friendly. It really is a blow. Yet one more empty glass that must be turned to the table rim-down. Won't forget you, Michael... see ya someday... I hope... |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Bonnie Shaljean Date: 13 Sep 16 - 06:05 AM PS: Acme, thank you for those wonderful links. Much appreciated. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,Hootenanny Date: 13 Sep 16 - 07:25 AM To Joe Offer, For what it is worth Joe I believe that MGM would have met Sandy Paton around 1956 at The Ballads and Blues Association Club which at that time was held at The Princess Louise in Holborn, London each Saturday evening. It was at the time when Ewan & Peggy were resident singers. It was one of the very few folk clubs in London at the time and anyone in the folk world who visited London would be drawn there. Sandy and Caroline were there very often during their stay in the UK. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: The Sandman Date: 13 Sep 16 - 07:31 AM I have his adress. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Waddon Pete Date: 13 Sep 16 - 03:41 PM A very sad loss. I have added his name to the "In Memoriam" Thread. RIP Peter |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 13 Sep 16 - 10:51 PM If anyone finds an online obituary, please post a link. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Joe Offer Date: 13 Sep 16 - 11:05 PM Thanks, Hootenanny. That's consistent with what I recall. Can't remember whether Michael or Sandy told me - I think it was Michael, when I asked about "On Mondays I Never Go to Work." -Joe- |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: gnu Date: 14 Sep 16 - 01:03 PM A lot of accolades/condolences on Facebook as well. He will be missed by many. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 14 Sep 16 - 01:55 PM Oh, how sad to read this. Much love to his family. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Bonnie Shaljean Date: 15 Sep 16 - 09:06 AM Gnu, can you (or somebody) give us a link to the Facebook-condolences page? I can't find anything through the normal searchboxes. Thanks! |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: The Sandman Date: 15 Sep 16 - 01:14 PM By Andrew Alderson 10:35PM GMT 29 Nov 2008 Michael Grosvenor Myer's eyes well up and his voice trembles as he discusses the final hours of his wife's life. "If I burst into tears, take no notice," he says politely but firmly. He takes a deep breath, regains his composure and describes how, last summer, he and his wife calmly devised a scheme for her to take her own life, yet one that meant he wouldn't face criminal charges for assisting her suicide. Mr Grosvenor Myer had known some three years earlier that Valerie, his wife of 48 years, intended to take an overdose when her loss of dignity from Parkinson's disease became too much for her to bear. Yet, when she suggested that he go to visit friends while she committed suicide, he rejected the idea saying he did not feel "comfortable" involving others in her death. "This conversation took place on August 8, 2007," he said. "We were in the kitchen after lunch. And I said: 'If that's the only problem – that you need the house to yourself – I will pretend to go and do a day's work at the university library'. And her eyes lit up and she looked at her watch and said: 'It's a bit late for today. So tomorrow'. Related Articles Husband of novelist attacks suicide law which led wife to die 'lonely death' 26 Nov 2008 "I was a bit taken aback and I said: 'Are you sure, darling?' "She said: 'Don't muck me about. You said you would [co-operate]. Tomorrow!' "I said: 'All right, my darling. Tomorrow.' "She said: 'Well, let's go up to the pub and have a nice steak for dinner at 6 o'clock. Then we'll come home. I feel like watching a Woody Allen film on my last night alive.'" And so, after an early supper at the Three Kings in Haddenham, Cambridgeshire, they went home and watched the Woody Allen comedy Small Time Crooks before having an early night. "We just lay there and went to sleep," says Mr Grosvenor Myer, clearly picturing the moment in his mind. "We woke up at 7am. I had a shower and got dressed as usual. I could see she was doing things in the kitchen with the blender and a pile of pills. I didn't ask too many questions. "I went to give her a kiss and say goodbye, but she said: 'I have started the process. Don't get in the way. Goodbye, darling. Off you go.' And she practically shoved me through the front door. And as the Irish folk song has it: 'That was the last I saw of my dear'." It was 9am and he was determined not to return to their two-bedroom cottage until his wife was dead. "I went to the university library. I was doing some work on the map in Treasure Island. It was not the best day of my life because my thoughts turned to what was happening at home. But Valerie had said: 'Don't hurry home.' So I didn't. "So, after a day's work at the library, I had dinner at the university centre. I was reading a very interesting article in The New Yorker about the British political situation. And I was thinking: 'I must tell Valerie about this'. Then I thought: 'You great booby. You will never tell her about anything ever again – if she has managed to do it properly this time.'" In fact, his 72-year-old wife had conducted her suicide with meticulous efficiency, taking 120 sleeping pills. He had expected to find her dead in their bedroom, but she was lying, in her red dressing gown, on the floor of the bathroom. It was a sad end to a long marriage, yet by the end of the night Mr Grosvenor Myer found himself bizarrely amused by the situation played out at the couple's home after he had called the ambulance service. "It was almost funny – a bit like an Aldwych farce. At one point there were two paramedics, a police inspector, a sergeant, two constables and two undertakers who had come to take Valerie away. They were all running in and out of these doors and up and down the stairs." What he does not find amusing, however, is what he sees as the irrationality of the law that he says forced him to leave his wife to die on her own. It is for this reason that he is speaking out now, 15 months after her death. Mr Grosvenor Myer, now 76, outlined the dilemma caused by the fact that assisted suicide is illegal in Britain: helping somebody to die carries a prison sentence of up to 14 years. "Valerie would say: 'I want to take an overdose and die in your arms.' But I replied: 'I am sorry, my love: the law won't allow it. All that will happen is that I will end up in prison and that's not what you want. And she said: 'I suppose it isn't'. "But because of the idiot state of the law my poor darling had to die this horrible, lonely death and I couldn't be there to help. The law should be: it's your own life – if you want to get rid of it, then go and do it. And if a loved one affords you some help, then they should be allowed to get on with it too. "I don't regret it [leaving his wife to die]. But perhaps this makes me a criminal. If so, they [the police] know where to find me." The couple had met in 1956, in Brittany. "My parents and I were rushing to catch the ferry home. But it was just pulling away as we got there. "Two young Englishwomen on the ferry drew the crew's attention to us and, amazingly – because French people aren't always as obliging – they came back for us," says Mr Grosvenor Myer, recalling the moment with relish. "And my father thanked the young women and invited them for a drink. One of the women was Valerie – and if we hadn't caught that boat we would never have spent nearly 50 years together. It really was the most advantageous meeting one could possible imagine. "But, actually, I went out with the other girl for a year because she lived in London and Valerie lived in the Forest of Dean, where she worked as a reporter on the Dean Forest Mercury. But then she got a job as chief reporter on the Dartford Chronicle and that's when we first started going out." The couple married in 1959, when she was 23 and he was 26. They both enjoyed fulfilling careers. After they met, Mr Grosvenor Myer, who had a degree in English from Cambridge, abandoned his job as a "glorified shipping clerk in a wines and spirits firm" to become a teacher. He later had a dual career as a freelance theatre critic and folk singer. Mrs Grosvenor Myer, the daughter of a coal miner but linked through an illegitimate liaison to the wealthy Grosvenor family, also combined several careers. She was a scholar, editor, literary critic, biographer and novelist. The couple shared a love of the theatre and literature, particularly Jane Austen and Shakespeare. However, they never had children. Mrs Grosvenor Myer went to Cambridge University, obtaining a first-class degree in English as a mature student aged 31, and then suffered an early menopause. "We didn't deliberately set out to be a childless couple, but we were," her husband says now. Dressed in a black jacket and blue striped shirt, Mr Grosvenor Myer is recalling the past as he sips a cup of tea in the Groucho Club in central London, which he joined earlier this year. Mrs Grosvenor Myer was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease a decade ago. "It is a degenerative disease and her health got progressively worse. Three or four years ago, she said: 'Don't be surprised if you come back one day and find me dead.' I said: 'No I won't. I won't do anything to prevent you from doing what you want to do.'" Before she died on August 9 last year, his wife had made other unsuccessful suicide attempts. In the summer of 2005, she took a late-night overdose. Convinced his wife would be dead when he awoke, Mr Grosvenor Myer left her lying on a futon in the television room. "She was still there next morning, still alive. Halfway through the day, I realised that she had gone into a coma. I couldn't cope with a coma so I called for help. One of the paramedics said very meaningfully to me: 'It's as well you phoned us as soon as you could or you might have found yourself on a manslaughter charge'. So he obviously knew what the score was and was giving me a hint to be careful." Mr Grosvenor Myer feels lonely without his wife, but a burden has also been lifted. "Her death has cut me up terribly, but I also feel 40 years younger since she died. I feel I could fly through the air. The last three or four years, when I was nursing her, were bloody tough – not the best years of our married life." In the final months of her life, his wife fell repeatedly and had trouble talking and writing. After her death, Mrs Grosvenor Myer was cremated and her husband scattered her ashes on their garden. They were both atheists, although he is a lapsed Jew, and earlier in their marriage both had been regular Anglican churchgoers. He treasures the memories of his wife and the suicide note that she left on their computer screen after taking her final overdose. "Do not think of this as a suicide note, rather as a thank-you for half a century together," she had typed. She described him as her "lover and my best friend", adding: "Parting is such sweet sorrow." Mr Gosvenor Myer's eyes start to mist over again. "I miss Valerie enormously. There is a great hole in my life. We have this big study. I always sat in the corner by the window and she always sat quite a long way away on the other side. To this day, I will be reading the paper and say: 'Have you seen…?' And I realise I am talking to myself – she is not there." Michael was in my opinion an incredibly brave man, when I read this about him 8 years ago, and saw him here on Mudcat, I made allowances for him, he had to overcome such tragedy, I judge him ON HIS RESPONSE TO PERSONAL TRAGEDY , not on anything else. R.I.P, MGM, Brave Man |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,siwan Date: 15 Sep 16 - 02:46 PM A shame he's the only one without a page https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_from_Hampstead |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 15 Sep 16 - 06:18 PM Anyone can add one. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: gnu Date: 16 Sep 16 - 04:48 PM Bonnie Shaljean - PM Date: 15 Sep 16 - 09:06 AM No. Just friends posting. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Stim Date: 16 Sep 16 - 08:23 PM Michael appreciated the fact that discussions were better if the parties disagreed, and over the years I carefully studied and research any number of things for the sole purpose of taking him to task. I hope that he enjoyed it as much as I did. I also appreciated his fondness for archaic words and little used grammatical constructions, not to mention his affinity for literature-I never would have read "East Lynne" were it not for him, nor would I have re-read and reconsidered Robert Louis Stevenson. He was clever,contentious, tenacious, audacious and all those other things that make a good and true Mudcatter, and that one other thing, irreplaceable. We are much diminished by his passing. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,Grishka Date: 17 Sep 16 - 03:59 AM A big loss for Mudcat and for me personally: someone who usually discussed with the aim of getting closer to the truth, not just to be right (let alone "right-wing"). |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: olddude Date: 17 Sep 16 - 06:41 PM Very sad news, I will miss him rip |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 17 Sep 16 - 08:48 PM A strange epitaph to the world of the rabid UK folk microcosium. Poor MGM's wife/divorce from a decade before carries more current thread than his death. Sincerely, Gargoyle I have been searching obits for a week....a BLACK HOURSE will reap fortunes for the day. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: The Sandman Date: 18 Sep 16 - 03:05 AM His brave reaction to her death tells me a lot about Michael. Condolences to his Widow, Emma.RIP |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,pauperback Date: 18 Sep 16 - 12:59 PM Bore her best Both now rest |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Lighter Date: 18 Sep 16 - 03:34 PM We never met, but on Mudcat Michael was knowledgeable, witty, and cantankerous - much as I would like to be in old age. Am very sad to hear of his passing. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,HiLo Date: 18 Sep 16 - 06:22 PM It has been suggested above the he was "silly and obnoxious" . he was never either of those things. he was smart, funny and true to his beliefs. I often disagreed with him, but never disrespected his knowledge, learning and basic decency. a very good man indeed! |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: meself Date: 19 Sep 16 - 01:25 AM Like all of us, the man had his virtues and his flaws. It is enough that so many appreciated who he was, and what he offered, as can be seen on this thread. It is not the time to criticize or to argue about his character. RIP. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: punkfolkrocker Date: 19 Sep 16 - 05:10 AM If hilo needs to enter an obit thread in an argumentative frame of mind, selectively taking issue with 3 words out of context from another mudcatter's respectful balanced sincere appraisal of a highly esteemed complex personality; then hilo demonstrates just how much MGM stood and shone out above a morass of petty unmemorable non entities..... MGM LION is one of the most significant losses to mudcat community. I only ever knew him from his always wise and often infuriating mudcat persona, but after nearly 15 years, I feel as though I have lost an elder family member. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: The Sandman Date: 19 Sep 16 - 05:15 AM Michael was also a highly competent "Critic". I loved his posts he really had "style2, an example vwas when he called me a "booby", I responded by calling him a dunderhead, to be insulted by him on this forum was worth it purely to see what dizzy heights he might attempt to reach with creative use of words. I will miss him |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,Senoufou Date: 19 Sep 16 - 06:53 AM Michael himself may have enjoyed the classical Latin quotation, "De mortuis nil nisi bonum." |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,raymond greenoaken Date: 19 Sep 16 - 09:30 AM Feels like the heart's gone out of Mudcat, somehow. RIP Michael: you've enlivened the Folk discourse like no other over the past forty years and more. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,pauperback Date: 19 Sep 16 - 12:22 PM "De mortuis nil nisi bonum." Au contraire, surely he's enjoying a little row on his obit thread |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,pauperback Date: 19 Sep 16 - 12:30 PM And a word or two from DtG seems appropriate, burying the hatchet, so to speak. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,In good company Date: 19 Sep 16 - 12:56 PM I said my bit much earlier in the thread, pauperback. Michael cannot add anything further to previous dissagreements so it would be futile and irreverent for me to make further comment. I am sure he would be pleased to have someone prolong hostilities beyond the grave though :-/ In good company (aka DtG) |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,pauperback Date: 19 Sep 16 - 01:11 PM Sorry, I didn't know, ingoodcompany, and like they say about good intentions and all that, sorry again |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,In good company Date: 19 Sep 16 - 01:45 PM No problem. I have let it be known elsewhere but if you had not seen it, you are not to know. |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,pauperback Date: 19 Sep 16 - 02:13 PM IgC, hakuna matata, as a wise young man once said, "I couldn't hold a grudge even if it had a handle". (hard not to make exception though) |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: GUEST,In good company Date: 19 Sep 16 - 03:35 PM Just heard another and more musically appropriate phrase. I can hold a grudge as well as I can hold a tune :-) |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 20 Sep 16 - 12:30 AM that's a worry - I cant hold a tune on my own, but that @#$%^&* person back in 1970 ... |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Joe Offer Date: 20 Sep 16 - 01:15 AM Michael was a relative newcomer to Mudcat. He first posted as Guest MtheGM (later MGM-Lion) 13 Aug 2009, and his last post was 5 July 2016 - he posted some 14096 messages. He knew a lot of people who were "The Real Thing," and he had lots of interesting stories to tell. I enjoyed his posts here, and I learned a lot from him. He sent me a CD of some of his recordings from years ago. He was quite the singer in his day. -Joe- |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: punkfolkrocker Date: 20 Sep 16 - 04:53 AM 2009.. ??? that'a a surprise, I thought and felt he'd been here forever.. After i posted yesterday it got me thinking how long I'd actually been a mudcatter. I can find the earliest known dates of the first appearance of the names punkfolkrocker and guest punkfolkrocker, but i haven't a clue what names I used before that, or when I was first an anonymous poster. I'm guesstimating 2003...??? I found this place by chance looking for the words of authentic versions of "Soldier, Soldier, will you marry me" The wife was obsessed with memories of that song from when it was a regular on the radio we were kids in the 1960s.. Bet MGM would have known all we needed as mere pub quiz trivia in his vast wealth of knowledge... |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Ross Campbell Date: 20 Sep 16 - 09:45 AM I remembered Michael Grosvenor Myer from his reviews of folk music in the Guardian from the seventies on, and was so pleased to re-discover him here on Mudcat. Always interesting, combative but above all informative. RIP Michael. Ross |
Subject: RE: Obit: Michael Grosvenor Myer-MGM LION-Sep 10, 2016 From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 21 Sep 16 - 04:26 AM I never met him but we had mutual friends and I benefited from his musical knowledge. Sad that another Mudcatter has gone before, to add his multiple instrumental skills to the Mudcat Band on the other side. RtS |
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