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BS: On my gravestone

punkfolkrocker 23 Apr 18 - 12:56 PM
Senoufou 23 Apr 18 - 01:53 PM
Jos 23 Apr 18 - 03:09 PM
Senoufou 23 Apr 18 - 03:53 PM
olddude 23 Apr 18 - 04:43 PM
Jos 23 Apr 18 - 04:46 PM
Raggytash 23 Apr 18 - 04:59 PM
Senoufou 23 Apr 18 - 05:28 PM
BobL 24 Apr 18 - 03:09 AM
fat B****rd 24 Apr 18 - 06:41 AM
Senoufou 24 Apr 18 - 07:23 AM
punkfolkrocker 24 Apr 18 - 07:28 AM
fat B****rd 24 Apr 18 - 08:07 AM
Dave the Gnome 24 Apr 18 - 08:33 AM
Senoufou 24 Apr 18 - 09:29 AM
Steve Shaw 24 Apr 18 - 09:31 AM
Senoufou 25 Apr 18 - 03:57 AM
Donuel 28 Jan 24 - 08:52 AM
Sandra in Sydney 28 Jan 24 - 04:32 PM
Black belt caterpillar wrestler 29 Jan 24 - 11:17 AM
Neil D 29 Jan 24 - 11:43 PM
Charmion 31 Jan 24 - 08:14 AM
The Sandman 01 Feb 24 - 03:11 AM
gillymor 01 Feb 24 - 10:06 AM
Thompson 03 Feb 24 - 03:56 AM
Mr Red 04 Feb 24 - 07:46 AM
Rapparee 08 Feb 24 - 05:51 PM
robomatic 09 Feb 24 - 02:44 PM
MaJoC the Filk 10 Feb 24 - 05:13 PM
Helen 10 Feb 24 - 05:36 PM
MaJoC the Filk 11 Feb 24 - 06:59 AM
Mrrzy 11 Feb 24 - 08:25 AM
Helen 11 Feb 24 - 10:52 AM
MaJoC the Filk 11 Feb 24 - 01:41 PM
MaJoC the Filk 11 Feb 24 - 01:44 PM
Helen 11 Feb 24 - 02:47 PM

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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 23 Apr 18 - 12:56 PM

If you live/die in the USA can you donate your body to the Texas Body Farm..
and if so, will they collect it free of charge...???

http://www.txstate.edu/anthropology/facts/labs/farf.html


I notice at the bottom of the main page, a link for "Job Opportunities"...

Essential qualification for applicants - "must be dead"...???


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Senoufou
Date: 23 Apr 18 - 01:53 PM

I'd hate to think of any sizeable sum of money being spent on either my funeral or my burial. I'll be dead, so I shan't know.

I've told my husband to pack me into a bin bag and wheel me off in our garden wheelbarrow to our village church cemetery. He can dig a hole and shovel me in, I shan't mind at all.

In Ivory Coast, deceased people, wrapped only in a sheet, are buried before nightfall on the day they die. They don't often have any kind of headstone, although my husband had one made for his father when he died last year. It all seems very sensible. They don't have money for fancy flowers, tombstones or caskets. They are however expected to feed literally hundreds of people who visit the family afterwards. It involves slaughtering lots of scraggy sheep and cooking giant pots of rice etc. Everyone wears white clothes.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Jos
Date: 23 Apr 18 - 03:09 PM

I'm sure they won't bury me that quickly after I die, so there is a chance someone WILL notice if I'm not really dead.
I once heard a radio discussion on the subject, in which an undertaker assured listeners that they couldn't possibly be buried while still alive because they would have been embalmed. I didn't find this at all reassuring - I would be just as unhappy at being embalmed if I wasn't really dead.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Senoufou
Date: 23 Apr 18 - 03:53 PM

Actually Jos, my husband's people have no need for a death certificate or even a doctor's examination. If someone seems to be dead, they bury them. It's rare for someone to have an actual diagnosis either. Could be problematic couldn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: olddude
Date: 23 Apr 18 - 04:43 PM

Ok now ya got me worried, shoot me in the head to make sure before I am tossed in the fire ok


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Jos
Date: 23 Apr 18 - 04:46 PM

I can understand why people in hot countries would have developed a tradition of burying the dead as quickly as possible before the body starts to go off, but even so, yes, I think there probably have been cases where death was 'misdiagnosed'.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Raggytash
Date: 23 Apr 18 - 04:59 PM

My aged Mother died in February, aged 93. It took 30 days before the funeral could be held, apparently the grave diggers can only manage two a day (despite having a mini digger!)

The day before the Grandfather of a young man I know in Ireland had died. The family dug the grave and he was buried two days later.

I know which practise I prefer.

I have told my good lady to put me in a bin bag (bio-degradable) on leave me out for the bin men.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Senoufou
Date: 23 Apr 18 - 05:28 PM

I'm truly sorry about your mother Raggytash. She obviously had a very long life and I hope a happy one.

I sometimes think modern Western ways of dealing with death distance us from the experience of reality. We don't prepare the body, we don't dig the grave. Often we aren't even present at the end of the person's life. It's all very sanitised. It makes grieving a bit inhibited in my view.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: BobL
Date: 24 Apr 18 - 03:09 AM

Not only that Sen, but more and more funerals are announced as "celebrations" of the deceased's life, with bright colours to be worn. Nothing necessarily wrong with that (and when it's my turn I want all my Morris colleagues to wear full kit), but it's a bit far removed from the original idea of helping people to manage their grief.

Grief is love that no longer has an outlet - did I get that from another thread here?


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: fat B****rd
Date: 24 Apr 18 - 06:41 AM

All paid for. Soundtrack sorted. Into the fiery furnace!!


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Apr 18 - 07:23 AM

I think the worst thing about grief is the frequent and sudden realisation that one will never see that person again. I feel that very deeply about my dear father-in-law, and of course about my own parents.

What's on the music list?
My only choice is 'Na Laetha Geal M'Oige' sung by Enya. "The lost days of my youth" makes me weep every time I hear it. Heart-wrenching.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 24 Apr 18 - 07:28 AM

A loud HiFi cassette recording of this
over the crematorium PA
was my dad's soundtrack as he slowly entered the furnace...


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: fat B****rd
Date: 24 Apr 18 - 08:07 AM

Good one, PF.
Charlie's Last Ride OST
On the way in - The Promenade from Moussorgsky's Pictures etc.
A certain obvious Dylan song for the "quiet bit".
The Ride of the Valkyries as I disappear from view.
Exit Music - "Keep a Twinkle In Your Eye" by Buck and Bubbles.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 24 Apr 18 - 08:33 AM

I always thought I wanted to be cremated but on reflection I think I would prefer a burial. Biodegradable cardboard coffin and a fruit tree instead of a gravestone. That way I can feed the fruit tree as it grows and make sure all the fruit is bitter and twisted like me :-)

(All true apart from the last bit)


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Apr 18 - 09:29 AM

No Dave, your fruit tree would produce lovely sweet fruit.
You can be buried next to me if you like, in Bluebell Wood.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 24 Apr 18 - 09:31 AM

Saw four guys wandering around the cemetery for three hours carrying a coffin on their shoulders.

I thought, those guys have really lost the plot...


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Senoufou
Date: 25 Apr 18 - 03:57 AM

Hahahaaaaa Steve!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Jan 24 - 08:52 AM

I'll go with a digital tombstone and simple mulching.
"Nearly everything we thought we knew was wrong, except love which is right even when it's wrong"


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 28 Jan 24 - 04:32 PM

I've arranged to have a Direct Cremation which some elements of the Funeral Industry rail against. Direct cremation = body removed & cremated & family & friends can get together when & wherever & as often as they want!

I can't remember the name of the business that ranted about you're depriving your friends & family of a send off & a place to share their grief & memories etc (ie. you are depriving MY company of lotsa' money for arranging everything from overpriced coffins to other unnecessary overpriced stuff)

As if people don't already have wakes & afternoon teas etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 29 Jan 24 - 11:17 AM

"For sale unrequired plot"

Robin


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Neil D
Date: 29 Jan 24 - 11:43 PM

I've told everyone I know that I want my gravestone to read:

Here lies Neil Devore
He hated the Eagles


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Charmion
Date: 31 Jan 24 - 08:14 AM

My gravestone has just name, rank and serial number. The enemy ain’t gettin’ anything else outta me.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: The Sandman
Date: 01 Feb 24 - 03:11 AM

Some things are more precious because they don't last long.
Oscar Wilde


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: gillymor
Date: 01 Feb 24 - 10:06 AM

My beloved mother, a WWII vet whose ashes reside in a columbarium in Arlington, used to say she wanted this etched on her headstone-

Wherever you be let the farts fly free,
For the one that I held was the one that killed me.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Thompson
Date: 03 Feb 24 - 03:56 AM

Mine has name, but no rank - hey, I'm an egalitarian; and no serial number - hah, you don't think you'll catch me that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Mr Red
Date: 04 Feb 24 - 07:46 AM

Donate to the Texas Body Farm and you would be rank! And from what I remember of a documentary on it, you would have a number. Sorry no name.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 24 - 05:51 PM

I want thirty or forty young women to bewail my passing.

My in-laws are in Arlington. Her name is on the back of the stone. Knowing her, this probably annoys her, to play second fiddle.

I want a QR code on my headstone. It doesn't have to lead to anything, I just want it as a annoyance.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: robomatic
Date: 09 Feb 24 - 02:44 PM

Most poetic:

Young man, take note as you pass by
As you are now, so once was I
As I am now, so you shall be
Prepare for death and follow me!

to which some wag appended:

To follow you I'd be content
If I could know which way you went!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Most ignominious:

"He called Bill Smith a liar!"


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 10 Feb 24 - 05:13 PM

Collected from the doorpost of a churchyard in Norfolk (UK):

Here lie I by the churchyard door
Here lie I because I'm poor
The further in the more you pay
Here lie I as warm as they


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Helen
Date: 10 Feb 24 - 05:36 PM

I remember we had a book in the library where I worked showing the inscriptions on gravestones. The one which made me laugh out loud was for a man of stature in society who was killed by a member of his household staff. The inscription was, "Well done, good and faithful servant".


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 11 Feb 24 - 06:59 AM

That wasn't Fritz Spiegl's A Small Book of Grave Humour, was it, Helen? It, and its successor (Dead Funny), were paperbacks cut into the shape of a tombstone.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 Feb 24 - 08:25 AM

Anybody watching World's Greatest Cemetaries?


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Helen
Date: 11 Feb 24 - 10:52 AM

MaJoC, yes!!!

After 40 years there was no way I would have remembered the name and author but it was indeed A Small Book of Grave Humour.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 11 Feb 24 - 01:41 PM

From Dead Funny:

Beneath this sod

.... lies another.

Spiegl notes: "Probably fictitious, but irresistible." (I don't see that one getting past the Church Commissioners either.)


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 11 Feb 24 - 01:44 PM

Oh, and thanks, Helen. I *think* I bought my copy in Lincoln in 1975.


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Subject: RE: BS: On my gravestone
From: Helen
Date: 11 Feb 24 - 02:47 PM

I just read this Wiki article about Fritz Spiegl and he was also a musician, who "taught himself to play the flute, enrolled at the Royal Academy of Music and, within a short time, became principal flautist with the Royal Liverpool Philharmonic Orchestra, a position he kept for more than a decade."

His list of career activities is impressive. "As a composer, Spiegl scored a popular success with the original theme from the TV series Z-Cars, based on "Johnny Todd", a Liverpool sea shanty. He also composed the original theme for the Z Cars spin-off series Softly, Softly.." and his list of books is interesting. I might have to look for some of those.


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Mudcat time: 16 April 11:15 PM EDT

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