BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 12:19 PM

Woo Hoo our flight got bumped up to tonight!
Finally I will avoid the August September Carribean blues.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 07:33 AM

My brother just spent a few days in Honolulu and he doesn't recommend it...

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Donuel
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 06:57 AM

With all the record rain and flash floods HERE , I am going to Hawaii next month for npthing but SUNSHINE ;^/

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Senoufou
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 05:41 AM

Hahaha Mr Red! Murphy's Law in our house means that if we buy a ready-roasted half-chicken at Asda for Murphy, he'll glare at us and it, turn his back and refuse to entertain it.

However, if we leave some cooked chicken on the counter top for our tea and the plate over it isn't firmly placed, Murphy will be in like Flynn and have the lot on the kitchen floor, leaving us just a few bones.
He's a Sod.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 05:36 AM

Whenever I'm watching a Liverpool match on my phone or iPad, no matter what time of day, my mum will ring me.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Jos
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 04:39 AM

If you are at home waiting for someone to arrive in order to go out together, and they are late, put the kettle on and they will arrive just as you are about to have a cup of tea or coffee.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Mr Red
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 04:36 AM

Murphy's in-laws

Don't even ask............

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: BobL
Date: 22 Aug 18 - 02:58 AM

I can control the weather !! Ever time I wash my car it rains

No Mike, Murphy's Law is recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 08:11 PM

In the great American Witchhunt they caught, prosecuted and jailed 5 witches with smoking brooms in their bare hands.

Trump is now officially an unindicted co-conspirator

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 05:19 PM

Any circular cycle ride, starting from and ending at the same spot, will have three times as much uphill as downhill.


(Thanks to the late, great John Seymour for that)

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Senoufou
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 03:44 PM

Hahaha leeneia, if our coat hangers are finding their way into your wardrobes, could you please send them back when you're finished with them? Do you by any chance have our teaspoons as well?

Jos, I do like her outfits, and the turbans are quite practical for cooking and yes, very reminiscent of film stars of an earlier age! I like her programmes, they remind me of Delia Smith (another 'simple yet wholesome recipes' lady)

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Jos
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 02:49 PM

Eliza, it's not just her recipes that I like - I love the way her Muslim headscarf has morphed into a turban reminiscent of a 1950s Italian film star. All she needs is the sunglasses.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: MikeL2
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 02:23 PM

hi

I can control the weather !! Ever time I wash my car it rains,

My wife has the same effect when she sings.

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: MikeL2
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 02:10 PM

Hi

When we wweree kids we used to play a game that entailed not treading on cracks in the pavement. If you trod on one you were out of the game.. these days if you tread on a crack you are entitled to lots of money in compensation.

mike

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 01:42 PM

Apparently, if you leave a banjo on the back seat of your unlocked car overnight, in full view with all the windows down, in the morning there will be two banjos on your back seat.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: leeneia
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 01:04 PM

I don't want to sound condescending, but I think most of us were aware that coat hangers multiply in the warm darkness of a closet. Senoufou, your disappearing coat hangers are a new development. Perhaps your coat hangers are migrating to my closets.

Something similar occurred at my church. I had hidden a cheap tambourine under a pew cushion in the music area, and the next Sunday, there were TWO cheap tambourines there - the original large one and a small, immature one right inside it. Both still under the warm, dark pew cushion.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Senoufou
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 12:43 PM

Speaking of cooking Steve, have you been watching Nadiya Hussein's programme 'Family Favourites' on BBC 2? I'm really enchanted, both with her and her lovely recipes. Healthy food, looks delicious and very do-able.
(Law of Nature: Eliza can be relied upon to derail any thread.)

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 12:11 PM

Exceptions to the rule open different doors to enlightenment.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 05:00 AM

When you are suddenly inspired to try a new recipe, you will discover that you are one vital ingredient short and that the shops have just closed.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: BobL
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 03:24 AM

If you lie to the computer, it will get its revenge

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Senoufou
Date: 21 Aug 18 - 03:06 AM

Speaking of coat hangers Thompson, I'm sure ours elope together during the night. We never seem to have enough and I can't understand it. I'm fairly well-organised and put half a dozen empty hangers on the end of the rail, but when I need one I notice they've all disappeared.

Same with teaspoons. Where the blazes do they go? We always check the bottom of the dishwasher in case they've fallen out of the cutlery box, but no.

I reckon we have a teaspoon-and- coat-hanger poltergeist in the house, or perhaps we're sited over some Black Hole that sucks things into another dimension.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Joe_F
Date: 20 Aug 18 - 08:46 PM

Donuel: Not to mention irrational numbers, improper Lorentz transformations, and degenerate perturbation theory.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Thompson
Date: 20 Aug 18 - 04:02 PM

The more you own of anything (eg glasses, pens), the less likely it is that you'll find one when you're looking for it.

If you buy eight packets of needles, within a month you will have no visible needles, but your wardrobe will be full of wire coat hangers.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Aug 18 - 02:05 PM

There are many things that do not follow rules we try to impose upon them.
There are Anomalous magnetic dipole moments, virtual particles, quantum foam but polymorphous perversity as a psychoanalytic idea that is one heck of a perversity.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: leeneia
Date: 19 Aug 18 - 07:14 PM

Both. They are both round.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Jos
Date: 18 Aug 18 - 01:22 PM

Not for the first time, there was a news report in the last few days of someone finding a lost gold ring round a carrot. Was this recycled news, or is there something perverse about either gold rings or carrots, or both?

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: leeneia
Date: 18 Aug 18 - 12:41 PM

We were identifying perverse objects a few posts back - scissors, pens, rulers. I mentioned contact lenses. Today my husband lost a lens while reading the paper.

Not on the floor, not in his shirt. He finally found it UNDER A COUCH CUSHION. Explain that, Newton and Einstein!

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: MikeL2
Date: 18 Aug 18 - 09:22 AM

Hi Steve

I have a " Heath Robinson " rain-guage that I concocted out of out of use guttering and down spouts and a water butt.

Obviously it is not very accurate but I am not bothered about it being
accurate. I just check if it has rained or not.

I use the water on the garden. It has been of no use this last few months....had no rain to speak of.

Cheers

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 18 Aug 18 - 06:24 AM

I've often thought that I should but no, I don't. Actually, rainfall is routinely measured at 0900 UTC (GMT) in the UK at official weather stations, so I'm out of line there as well. I only have a cheapie plastic rain gauge though I can keep it well clear of the house and trees. It's all very non-standard. I'm interested in rainfall events (how much rain falls in a single downpour) so I often check it through the day, after a heavy shower or thunderstorm for example. I'm only doing it for fun and out of habit but it's always gratifying to see that my monthly measurements closely align with Bude's official weather station three miles away. Local showers can mess that up, of course. Three days ago we nearly got drowned in a sudden five-minute deluge in Bude, but, at home, not a drop! Very occasionally, heavy rain in the first nine hours on the first of the month or on the first nine hours* on the first of the following month can skew the comparative figures as well as I record it in the "wrong" month. (*Or ten. Phew!)

So far, my numero uno downpour was on the day of the Boscastle flood, fourteen years ago this week. I measured exactly 50mm of rain, just shy of two inches, in a shade under an hour. A few miles up the road at Otterham Station, in the catchments of the three rivers that converge on Boscastle, 200.4mm, almost 8 inches, fell that day, most of it in a couple of hours in the afternoon, resulting in the Boscastle event.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: BobL
Date: 18 Aug 18 - 02:53 AM

In summer do you check it at 1am?

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 17 Aug 18 - 04:15 PM

I have a rain gauge in my garden. For 25 years I have emptied it at midnight and recorded the day's rainfall in an exercise book. On a very few occasions I've wanted an early night so have emptied it a bit early, say at 11pm. Naturally, I can do this only if it is not raining at the time and as long as there's no prospect of rain until after midnight.

The law of nature here is that it WILL rain heavily at about ten to twelve if I've taken the reading at 11. That is guaranteed.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: MikeL2
Date: 17 Aug 18 - 02:41 PM

Hi Bobl

You have almost described to Tee. On retirement I was glad to get out of the crap. Afraid as I get even older I am getting worse. I have a smart phone but never useit !!!!

What next ??

Cheers

MikeL

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Aug 18 - 02:20 PM

You need only to silently change one word in a 100 year old law to suppress 20% of registered voters.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Aug 18 - 02:01 PM

Not exactly a "newly-discovered" anything, Dave. :-/

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 17 Aug 18 - 07:02 AM

Quite right BobL, my memory is fai..... ah fuck it.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: BobL
Date: 17 Aug 18 - 04:31 AM

Shouldn't the surge of the urge be in there somewhere?

IT staff are 50% geeks, 50% technophobes
Sums me up nicely. The geek side of me enjoyed getting machines to do what I wanted them to - and the fact that this was something useful, and hence that I got paid for it, was a bonus. However as time went on I found myself increasingly reluctant to immerse myself in new technology, such as networking (although I was fine once I'd got into it). Saw myself as a high-tech Luddite. Retirement came just at the right time.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 17 Aug 18 - 03:20 AM

We discovered this as schoolboys,

The heat of the beat, plus the throb of the knob, equals the angle of the dangle.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Raedwulf
Date: 16 Aug 18 - 07:05 PM

Although I spent several years working in electronics and computing I now find all electronics an anathema.

A Natural Law of IT - IT staff are 50% geeks, 50% technophobes. Half of them are there because they luuuuurve tech! And the other half hate technology cos they have to work with the blasted stuff to make a living...

I was always a technophobe, I might add.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: MikeL2
Date: 16 Aug 18 - 02:49 PM

Hi Sen

" e have once or twice ordered a Tesco shop online, and it was successful. But I like to natter (who knew?)"

I know what you mean. We know all the regular staff well.   we have monthly orders. But we pop over to Tesco for anything that we need

Eg perish able, fruit etc. The staff are so helpful, some of them we have known for years. The only thing I criticise them for is they have not been able to sell us winning Lottery tickets which we ......well my wife buys each time we go in.

Regards

Mike

ps just heard from Healthier You. The delay has been that the Company that does it ( for the NHS) has changed. The new Company has contacted me to say that I have a placement and will be contacted shortly.

Trouble is we are going away for about a month or so.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Senoufou
Date: 16 Aug 18 - 02:36 PM

That should say neighbours'. I've given myself detention for bad spelling.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Senoufou
Date: 16 Aug 18 - 02:25 PM

Hahahahaaaa! I once had a cat (called Simon) who pinched things off the nieghbours' clothes lines. He once arrived through the cat flap with a very pretty lacy bra. Sadly it wasn't my size.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: DMcG
Date: 16 Aug 18 - 02:12 PM

Ours pinched a neighbour's Christmas turkey on one occasion. All of it. Dragged it home ...

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Senoufou
Date: 16 Aug 18 - 01:53 PM

They don't go outside though DMcG, we shut the cat-flap most of the time. This was/is our own meat, ready-cooked and frozen, which we defrost while we're out. Silly of us really, we should have put it safely in the cold oven to defrost (which they haven't yet learned to open)
And the little blighters are very well-fed. It's not as if they're starving hungry.

I was looking up on Google the difference between Sod's Law and Murphy's Law. Apparently they are different. Didn't know that!

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: DMcG
Date: 16 Aug 18 - 12:48 PM

when one goes out leaving some roasted beef defrosting

If your cats are exceptionally well behaved and moral, they will restrict themselves to your meat in your house.

Most are not.

But one way of chatting with the neighbours, I suppose.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Senoufou
Date: 16 Aug 18 - 12:39 PM

We have once or twice ordered a Tesco shop online, and it was successful. But I like to natter (who knew?) and we now look on many of the checkout people almost as friends. So for many reasons the automatic thing is a no-no.

There are loads of Laws of Nature applicable to having cats:-

Trying a new type of (cheaper) cat food will be met with utter revulsion and disgust.
And one will have bought a whole box of the stuff.

Wearing a fairly smart pair of black trousers for going 'up the city', a cat will inevitably caress my legs affectionately and the trousers become mohair ones.

A pair of seemingly dim moggies will suddenly become adept and cunning when one goes out leaving some roasted beef defrosting on the counter top covered with a huge heavy plate. The cats will turn into Morgan the Mighty and the plate will be found on the floor and the meat gnawed.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: leeneia
Date: 16 Aug 18 - 12:10 PM

Hi, Mikel2. What a nice thing to happen!

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: MikeL2
Date: 16 Aug 18 - 09:29 AM

hi

My good lady and I won't use the self check- outs. Although I spent several years working in electronics and computing I now find all electronics an anathema.
Don't know why. My missus doesn't understand "modern contraptions"
So we always use the "human" checkouts. We have no problems and so prefer to do this.

One thing does bug us in that My wife, all 4'11" of her, finds many of the items she wants are on the top shelf. As I don't often accompany her she often has to ask any taller person to help her. They always do.

In the winter we were both laid up with flu so we decided to use the On Line order system. At first we struggled to navigate the web site easily but managed to complete a large order. We use Tesco because it is convenient for us.

The order was delivered right on time and the driver carried it all in and helped to put it away with us.

Since then we have ordered on line regularly. The service has all been fantastic now we have got used to the system.

No problem with parking and stupid beggers who block you in etc.etc.

And we tend to spend less!!

Cheers

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 16 Aug 18 - 08:59 AM

Just google "People who know how to f***ing park on brink of extinction" and you can revel in sheer sweary frustration at people who can't put their cars in the middle of spaces. I love the Daily Mash and this is one of their best!

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Aug 18 - 08:49 AM

BobL - the corollary to the drawer with or without pens is that Pens Migrate. One day I realize that they have moved from all around the house and office and are all in the bottom of my everyday backpack. I fish them out and spread them around the kitchen, the office, the bedroom, and months later I'll find them all back in the bottom of the backpack.

Subject: RE: BS: Newly-discovered laws of nature
From: Senoufou
Date: 16 Aug 18 - 06:08 AM

Ha, I'm glad I'm not the only one Steve.
My husband adores using the self-checkout. He thinks it's so modern and clever. He talks to the Lady! (Have to say, he's much better at technology than I, but then I'm a complete nitwit)

Another law of nature about supermarkets is the Snuggling-Up Parker.
You park nicely in the middle of a space, then when you emerge, it's certain that some fool has parked right beside your car, so that the door will open only by about five centimetres.
If you've got just one Snuggler on the passenger side, it can be surmounted. But on the driver's side?
My poor husband has had to get in on the left, clamber over the transmission tunnel and finally arrive behind the wheel.

Tempted to key their car or let their tyres down, but there are surveillance cameras...