BS: Thread for people to take offense at

Subject: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 03:46 PM

I've decided it is hard work trying to avoid giving offense. So this thread is for anyone who wants to take offense at something Please feel free to take offense at any of the posts herein so other threads can continue without being detailed by anyone's sensitivities.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: keberoxu
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 03:53 PM

Give offense, take offense ...
did you mean
"de-railed" rather than 'detailed' ?

Anyway, funny you should ask.

Robert Carlyle, who has relocated to Vancouver
in the past ten years,
where it is easier for him to find work than in the UK,
got coaxed into voicing an opinion in a recent interview.
And he often ends up, in the press, with the worst of it,
just for being blunt.

The interviewer said "what about Brexit"
and Carlyle wished to make the point that
some friends of his, "back home,"
had seen their families torn apart by conflicting positions on Brexit,
and he found it very sad.

I think, anyway, that was what was important to Carlyle.
But because he blurted out that Brexit is "a f*****g disaster"
the press jumped all over him for his
"hot-tempered," "foul-mouthed" "outburst."

sometimes, you can't win for losing.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 03:56 PM

Isn't it spelt offence?

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 04:14 PM

Sure but who's grading?
Its better to not take offence but rather to build or make a fence.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 04:55 PM

Offence with a c is a noun. As in "it is an offence". Offense with an s is a verb as in giving or taking offense. Same with advice and advise. At least it was when I was a lad.

And, yes, I did mean derailed. Want to make something of it? :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 05:01 PM

BTW. Talking of Robert Carlyle, the first episode of War of the Worlds is on.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: robomatic
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 08:26 PM

No offense, DTG, but you are no grammarion. Your posting was inaccurate and obtuse. you don't know what a verb is, apparently. Moreover, I have not read of a military launching an offencive.

From Grammarly:


    Offence and offense are both correct.

    Offence is the spelling more commonly used outside of the United States.

    Offense is the spelling more commonly used in the United States.

Feel free to give or take offence or offense!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 08:33 PM

"grammarion"

I'm appalled and severely offended by the misspelling of this word by a fellow purporting to criticise someone else's grammatical failings, and would, in addition, point out to him the gross misuse of a comma in his post. As they say, tsk...

Yours sincerely

Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 08:54 PM

God I hoped this would not have turned into a grammar fight/fest like the old days. :^/

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 17 Nov 19 - 08:57 PM

Offense is not a verb. I offense you? I think not.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Iains
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 03:22 AM

The correct spelling would depend on whether you take webster or the Oxford dictionary as your source.
On a site such as this, covering both sides of the pond, who cares?
There must be more worthwhile subjects to rant on!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 03:23 AM

That's more like it. The advice I would advise people of is that it is an offence to give offense.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Acorn4
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 04:25 AM

And i get really offended when "enjoy" is used as an intransitive verb!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: G-Force
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 07:31 AM

Thread for people to take offense at

And a preposition is something you shouldn't end a sentence with.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 07:47 AM

That is something up with which I will not put!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mr Red
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 08:50 AM

offence is often the assertive part of defence.

I realised that when I started to dislike political humour. So I ditched favourites and suddenly it was funny again.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 09:27 AM

I really ort to be better at spelling and grammer
seeing how i went to gramner shcool...

anyways, i doint care...

grammer peedants aer too boring swots, and probably virgins...

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 09:49 AM

Sounds like a good time to reiterate the golden rules of English usage, so here goes:

Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

Never use a preposition to end a sentence with. Winston Churchill, corrected on this error once, responded to the young man who corrected him by saying "Young man, that is the kind of impudence up with which I will not put!

And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)

Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

Be more or less specific.

Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies endlessly over and over again.

No sentence fragments.

Contractions aren't always necessary and shouldn't be used to excess so don't.

Foreign words and phrases are not always apropos.

Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous and can be excessive.

All generalizations are bad.

Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

Don't use no double negatives.

Avoid excessive use of ampersands & abbrevs., etc.

One-word sentences? Eliminate.

Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake (Unless they are as good as gold).

The passive voice is to be ignored.

Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words, however, should be enclosed in commas.

Never use a big word when substituting a diminutive one would suffice.

Don't overuse exclamation points!!!

Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.

Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed and use it correctly with words' that show possession.

Don't use too many quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations.. Tell me what you know."

If you've heard it once, you've heard it a billion times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly. Besides, hyperbole is always overdone, anyway.

Puns are for children, not groan readers.

Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

Who needs rhetorical questions? However, what if there were no rhetorical questions?

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Avoid "buzz-words"; such integrated transitional scenarios complicate simplistic matters.

People don't spell "a lot" correctly alot of the time.

Each person should use their possessive pronouns correctly.

All grammar and spelling rules have exceptions (with a few exceptions)....Morgan's Law.

Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

The dash - a sometimes useful punctuation mark - can often be overused - even though it's a helpful tool some of the time.

Proofread carefully to make sure you don't repeat repeat any words.

In writing, it's important to remember that dangling sentences.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 09:55 AM

Avoid cliches like the plague is my favo[u]rite on that list.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: robomatic
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 06:55 PM

Ahh, the old reporpoising of words so as to take lemans and make lemonaid.

Somehow this is good for the ol' blud preshure. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 18 Nov 19 - 08:03 PM

With any luck i offended two target groups for the price of one..

grammar police, and virgins...

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: BobL
Date: 19 Nov 19 - 02:23 AM

Steve, you left out:

Eschew obfuscation

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 19 Nov 19 - 02:48 AM

I always liked the monster raving loony party's policy on defence.

They were going to paint all de fences white so politicians couldn't sit on them.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 19 Nov 19 - 08:40 AM

Apparently businessmen are too corrupt to be President.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Nov 19 - 10:14 AM

Lemans ahahahaha!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Raggytash
Date: 19 Nov 19 - 04:10 PM

As we use to say years ago, some posts get right up my left nostril.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: robomatic
Date: 19 Nov 19 - 06:27 PM

That's almost having a nose for noose.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Nov 19 - 01:56 PM

I find the entire subject of racism should be called tribalism. Even native American Algonquins were immigrants. Everyone calling each other racists or not is so last century, fugetaboutit.

We know better now that we don't know who the 'originals' were, except for 3 handfulls from the African continent and a few pockets of similar homo species around the globe.

Racism is a delusion and should be delegated to the trash heap of history. Us and them is tribalism which is similar but does not legitimize the xeno-fear as the word racism has.

Meanwhile by carrying on the racist spat, people perpetualize racism in a perverse time honored pattern. ptooey

You are ALL TRIBALISTS but only the right wing are the vestigal racists. Nazis were the best racists. They hated everyone.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Nov 19 - 03:08 PM

How dare!

I hear the youth of America exclaiming. Apparently not all transitive verbs are...

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 20 Nov 19 - 03:14 PM

I am beside myself with rage.

Hmmmm. I must wash being my ears.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Nov 19 - 03:47 PM

Occupational health and saftey department has issued a warning to not store dildos in the same drawer as your Ronco Pocket Pussy

Overheated lithium batteries may be a fire hazzard.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mr Red
Date: 20 Nov 19 - 04:46 PM

Unless they are as good as gold

Is it analogy or similarly simile? Don't be too anal about it though! And is there a golden rule for this?

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Nov 19 - 05:50 PM

Overheard telephone call:

Pompeo: It doesn't have to be this way. President: I have no choice! Times have changed. Scaring isn't enough anymore. (Trump closes in on Pompeo, raising up on his fat legs intimidatingly) Pompeo: But bribing and extorting foreign countries? Donald: I'll fuck up a thousand countries before I let my company die, and I'll silence anyone who gets in my way! Pompeo: MMmphh

Chairman Schiff: Ambassador Sondland, you recorded this on your phone?
yes

Jim Jordan: Thats hear say!
Schiff: Gentleman will suspend
Jim Jordan: I heard him say it so its Hearsay!
Gavel bang: Gentleman will SUSPEND!

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 20 Nov 19 - 05:52 PM

You're obsessed. Poor thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 12:31 PM

Go use your colon cancer kit already.
If by any chance your village is so small that your proctologist and dentist is the same guy, make sure your dentist appointment is first.

btw I believe you have posted about Brexit once or twice.
Over here they are live broadcasting the Impeachment hearings that can be over 12 hours a day.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 12:49 PM

Bollocks to everything that doesn't interest me...

.. and bollocks to a lot of what does as well...

Everybody elses's obsessions are boring, and not as important as mine..


That should take care of offending as many folks as possible today...

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 12:52 PM

RE: your colon cancer kit.

Don't just shit in the box and return it this time.
Read the instructions.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 03:10 PM

A man or woman is more noble than a scruffy house, more important than a fear and disdain of opticians and dentists, more valued than the resources they wield, more sacred than the way they are treated by their government and more genius than their sometimes warped sense of priorities.

In the spirit of offensiveness, I love you guys NOW FUCK OFF.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 03:23 PM

You can do better than that.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 03:32 PM

Best I was recently was "Thanks for your considered and intelligent post. I may get round to reading it later."

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 03:40 PM

You make me sick:
You should call up Chuck, he'll throw up enough messages to make you gag. Spewing disinformation is like a retch heaving ho. Its a sick mess that could make you vomit.
Allow me to regurgitate and toss cookies your way, to puke is not a fluke.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 03:53 PM

Steve your wife says that when you barf it sounds like you are yelling the word EUROPE.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 04:00 PM

Get help.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Acorn4
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 05:25 PM

Big is an adjective - how can you "big up" something unless you can "little down" something.

And medal is a noun but you can now medal in a competition.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Nov 19 - 06:26 PM

I love help. Methinks you are offended.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mrrzy
Date: 22 Nov 19 - 05:17 PM

Ah, yes, verbing nouns. English is great.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Nov 19 - 05:25 PM

What about norbs or veons?

I realise that I was applying the same rules to offense and offence as I would to practice and practise, advice and advise. I should apologise but I couldn't give a shit really.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Mr Red
Date: 23 Nov 19 - 07:33 AM

When my garden border collapsed, I took a fence. Away.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Nov 19 - 07:49 AM

You have me a very fond memory, Mr Red. My first job was in the front office for a local council maintenance department. An old chap once came in to complain that a workman had taken his gate. I said I had best not mention it or he may...

Yes, you guessed it :-)

Took him a few seconds but when he twigged it made his day.

Subject: RE: BS: Thread for people to take offense at
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Nov 19 - 08:19 AM

I never take offense. Taking umbrage is much more satisfying.