THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT

Subject: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Peter T.
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 10:57 AM

THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT

(A play in one act, apologies to Joseph Heller)

[Large white vans screech to a halt in a circle around the Mudcat. A weary official in a white coat comes forward followed by a team of white coated assistants carrying butterfly nets discretely behind their backs. A desk appears on the porch.]

OFFICIAL: All right, everyone line up please! Line up, that means in a line, not a circle. God, this is getting off to a good start. O.K. Who's first? You -- name?
JOE OFFER: Joe Offer [for it is he].
OFFICIAL: All right, what do you do around here?
JOE: Well, I help people with their HTML problems, teach them how to cope with the Internet, clean up problems, contribute generally --
OFFICIAL: Fine. And how much do they pay you for this?
JOE: Err, well, I just sort of do it for the love of it.
OFFICIAL: Right. How much time does it take?
JOE: You mean every day, or from when I started 3-4 years ago?
OFFICIAL: Charley, the NET!!!! [Net goes over Joe, drags him off] Next! Name?
DICK AND SUSAN: Dick and Susan [for it is they].
OFFICIAL: Now you look like sensible people. What do you do around here?
DICK AND SUSAN: Well, we run the Digital Tradition. We put thousands of folk songs and other songs on the Internet for people to use.
OFFICIAL: Now we are talking! Internet Product! How much do you charge per person per request on an hourly basis, let's say?
DICK AND SUSAN: Err, it's all free.
OFFICIAL: Excuse me?
DICK AND SUSAN: Well, you see, it is sort of a community thing. People love the songs, and they contribute new material, and we put it all together and give it away.
OFFICIAL: Look you wackos, we are talking the Internet here. People are turning over companies on an hourly basis, pro-rating them for content in your demographic, and generating huge share price increases. What have you got?
DICK AND SUSAN: We have 3 (or is it 4?) versions of Carrickfergus, or the Water is Wide, which is an earlier variant, of course --
OFFICIAL: CHARLEY!!! THE NET!!! [Drags them away]. Folk music. Has no one told these people???? This is so over. Next!!!
KATLAUGHING: Katlaughing.
OFFICIAL: What the hell kind of name is that?
KATLAUGHING: It's my name.
OFFICIAL: O.K., O.K.
KATLAUGHING: Just so you don't try any patriarchal crap with me, I will tell you what I do. I post creative thoughts, wise words, and run a healing circle.
OFFICIAL: A HEALING CIRCLE?
KATLAUGHING: We link good thoughts over the computer for people who are in trouble.
OFFICIAL: That is the nuttiest thing I have ever heard, even nuttier than those two fruitcakes I had here a minute ago.
KATLAUGHING: We aren't sure how or if it works, but we beam prayers and healing light jointly. It may be a fluctuation in the ether, or something.
OFFICIAL: WHAT?
KATLAUGHING: Well, I don't know. For example, you must have some troubles.
OFFICIAL: Well, sure. My wife and I are both working all the time, and our kids have started getting into real problems, and I am really worr -- Hey, what the hell are you trying to pull??? You are even more dangerous than the rest of these flakes. Charley!!!!!!!!! [Net drags katlaughing away]. God, what a zoo. Next!!! Oh Jesus!!!!!
CATSPAW: Hi, Mister Official, would you like to have a toot on this ocarina shaped like a possum???
OFFICIAL: CHARLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Net drags catspaw away swiftly]. Next!!!
BBC: We would like a picture of you, since this qualifies as a Mudcat event!
OFFICIAL: NET!!!! [Net drags bbc away, snapping pictures] Next! Who are you?
LEJ: My name is LEJ. I run the Tavern here.
OFFICIAL: At last, someone in retail. Tell me more.
LEJ: We have a tavern here, open most of the time, except for when bbc is occupied like now being as you have just taken her away, but anyway, we offer all sorts of refreshments and entertainment, we have special theme nights, a jello wrestling pool, a velcro wall of death, the usual.
OFFICIAL: Well, everyone to their taste. Can I see this tavern?
LEJ: Well, not exactly, as it is virtual.
OFFICIAL: Excuse me?
LEJ: It is sort of a common conspiracy. An agreed upon delusion.
OFFICIAL: YOU MEAN IT DOESN'T EXIST?
LEJ: Well, no. Or yes.
OFFICIAL: NET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Lej is dragged away]. Christ, we are going to be here all day.
ANNAP: Today is good. But what are you doing on the 14th?
OFFICIAL: Who are you, and what do you do?
ANNAP: Annap. I am the official Mudcat party convenor for New Jersey.
OFFICIAL: Explain.
ANNAP: Oh I just invite people I have never met, anywhere in the world, and welcome them into my house to have a good time.
OFFICIAL: NET!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Annap is dragged away] Next!!! Well. Here is a fine upstanding young person. What is your name son, and what are you doing among these crackpots?
MBO: I am looking for the ring of power. If it falls into the wrong hands, a new veil of darkness will cover the world, and I might run out of quotes.....
OFFICIAL: NET!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Mbo is dragged away] Next!! And who are you, and what do you do?
NIGHTOWL: I am Nightowl, and I am in music therapy.
OFFICIAL: Is that like that ridiculous healing circle?
NIGHTOWL: A bit. You see we have many people here who take their music into hospitals, old folks homes, and places where hope is needed, and try to use music to help these people or to make their lives more joyful.
OFFICIAL: Do you have any scientific evidence that any of this is of any practical value at all?
NIGHTOWL: Well, there are studies. But really, you can just tell.
OFFICIAL: In what scientific way can you "just tell"?
NIGHTOWL: I don't know how scientific it is, but when it works, you get this feeling in your chest, your heart just gets bigger knowing that you have brought some music into people's lives.
OFFICIAL: BIG NET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Nightowl is dragged away]. Next! Who are you?
RICK FIELDING: Rick. I am a teacher, unofficial therapist, and a professional entertainer.
OFFICIAL: You seem somewhat more level headed than many of these wackos.
RICK FIELDING: Well, I do strive for honesty. And as a craftsman, I have an abiding fascination for old instruments.
OFFICIAL: Oh yes, how interesting.
RICK FIELDING: For example, did you ever see the Pink Panther movie where Peter Sellers and Elke Sommer go into a nudist colony?
OFFICIAL: Um, yes.
RICK FIELDING: Do you recall Elke Sommer in the nude, barely hiding herself behind a guitar?
OFFICIAL: YES.
RICK FIELDING: Well, the guitar was a Martin D-18, first produced in 1948, with --
OFFICIAL: STOP!!! Are you trying to tell me that you were watching Elke Sommer in the nude, and all you can remember is the guitar she was wearing????
RICK FIELDING: Well, yes, of course.
OFFICIAL: YOU ARE THE CRAZIEST OF THEM ALL!!!!!! BRING OUT THE FISHNET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Rick is dragged off]. Where the hell is the leader of this Looneytunery?
MAX: I guess that would be me.
OFFICIAL: And you are?
MAX: MAX.
OFFICIAL: You run this place.
MAX: Well, yes, I sort of hold it together.
OFFICIAL: It is a thriving Internet site.
MAX: Oh yes, thousands of hits. All the time.
OFFICIAL: And how much time and effort have you invested in this place?
MAX: I couldn't say. If you totalled it up, it would probably be about a year of normal person's time since I started.
OFFICIAL: Let me see if I get this straight. You are a young computer software designer. You have an Internet site that is one of the cleanest and best run in the world, with thousands of people checking in all the time. This has to mean that you are fairly close to being a billionaire, is that right?
MAX: Not exactly.
OFFICIAL: THEN YOU ARE EVEN CRAZIER THAN EVERYONE ELSE IN THIS PLACE INCLUDING THE ELKE SOMMER GUY AND THE FRUITCAKES!!
MAX: Crazier than Bert?
OFFICAL: Who?
MAX: Well, I can't be crazier than Allan. Or Neil. Or there are these guys in England, Bill, Sam. Oh, yes, and there are some really wild Australians. You want crazy? Have I told you about the conversations in Icelandic? Do you know where the hokey-pokey came from? How about Banjo Bonnie?
OFFICIAL: PUT THEM ALL AWAY, INTO THE VANS, THIS PLACE IS CLOSED DOWN!!!!!!
[The Mudcatters are hauled into the padded vans. The head of the van drivers comes towards the Official.]
HEAD OF THE VAN DRIVERS: Excuse me.
OFFICIAL: Yes?
HEAD OF THE VAN DRIVERS: One of our drivers, the one with the mustache, wants to know if he can perch the possum on the front of his van.
OFFICIAL: What? Of course not.
HEAD OF THE VAN DRIVERS: Brother Swan will be unhappy to hear that. The other van driver, Brother Seed, is prepared to go on sympathy strike, as is Sister Jeri, and Brother Kendall.
OFFICIAL: By whose authority?
HEAD OF THE VAN DRIVERS: Mine.
OFFICIAL: And who the hell are you?
HEAD OF THE VAN DRIVERS: Mick is the name, organizing's the game, as well as pining after the fair alison and cross-dressing. I'm the vice-president of the Lunatic Van Drivers Union.
OFFICIAL: And what if I say no?
HEAD OF THE VAN DRIVERS: Well, you can talk to the president of the Union, but it won't do you any good.
OFFICIAL: Why not?
HEAD OF THE VAN DRIVERS: Because he is really crazy. You may have heard of him. Thieme is his name. Art Thieme.
OFFICIAL: You're all crazy, everyone is crazy, EXCEPT ME!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!(Runs off into the darkness shrieking).

(Brief silence.)

RICK FIELDING: Anyone want to learn how to play butterfly net?

(Curtain falls)

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: MMario
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:07 AM

!!!!

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: KathWestra
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:08 AM

Peter, you've outdone yourself. BRAVO!!!

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: T in Oklahoma (Okeimockbird)
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:12 AM

Peter T., your script is a hard-nosed comment on the on the multiple layers of irony that, onion-like, surround our popular culture. Your use of butterfly nets (as opposed to fishnets) is especially evocative of folk culture's simultaneous attributes of ubiquity and fragility.

T.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:12 AM

Encore, encore, bravo, Bravo!!!

Even if my hairy chest and chocolate fixation wasn't in there!!

LTS

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Roger the skiffler
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:12 AM

Pete, Pete, our kid, how do you keep coming up with 'em?
Priceless, mate, Invisible Eddie, Hiroshi and the rest of the gang at the Neil Young Center salute you with a chorus of "Why was he born so beautiful" by the massed marching drool and kazoo band.
May you have a continuing creative New Year!
RtS (glad I'm the only one in the office holding the fort as I was laughing my [insert appropriate local usage here] off!

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: folk1234
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:13 AM

How true, how true. Great piece of work, PeterT.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Cara
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:14 AM

Stupendous, Peter!!

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: InOBU
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:15 AM

Sequel:
Once in the Bughouse, they call InOBU to get them out. He comes down with his wife, and presents himself at the door. They ask if they wish to represent this gaggle, he shrugs, sighs, and nodds, then they drop the net on them as well... at least there is good music on the inside, not to mention, in the dark resesses of the Bug house...

Revolution is simmering....

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:25 AM

In actual fact Elke Sommer was hiding her luscious charms behind an Italian made EKO guitar.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Peter T.
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:25 AM

[LTS -- be warned, this may be only a first draft...]!yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:26 AM

That's it?
We all just sit there in the van with our laptops?

Besides being the most timely, brilliant hysterical Thought For The Day, I think you are amazing Peter.

BB

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: sophocleese
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:33 AM

You sure about that Rick?

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Bert
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:35 AM

And doesn't anyone think that it's so TRUE that it's SCARY?

AIEEEE! screams Bert as they drag him off.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:41 AM

My friend...I don't know what to say. Cleigh and I both are rolling in laughter. Beautiful job...and timely.

Spaw

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Max
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:42 AM

Love it, though I though my character could have had a bit more depth. Can I play myself when it hits the big screen?

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 11:43 AM

....sounds like a great plot to me! First they drag us all away to the asylum, put us behind a BIG fence, and then the real party begins! In a short time the old saw about the inmates running the asylum will seem prescient,,,*giggle*...Max will offer to 'help' with the computer system, Mick will organize the guards, Alison will charm them, catspaw & I will befuddle them with philosophical obfuscations, etc., etc...(add your own delegated duties)...and soon WE will control who goes out with the nets!

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Mbo
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 12:19 PM

Oh my goodness, Peter, this is amazing! A great piece of literature! Hilarious! And I was in it! I can't wait for more!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 12:27 PM

Two observations:

1. We'd all have the time of our lives.

2. Except for Gargoyle who'd be too crazy not to act sane when the butterfly nets came for him, and after a few days he'd miss the B.S. so much that he'd climb the wall to get in...only to be thrown out by the guards, who would recognize that anyone wanting to get in must be sane, since, afterall it was the very best place on earth...and Kat would organize a healing circle for him and even the guards and their union president would join in and all the good vibes (along with the good flugelhorns and kalimbas and ektars) would cure him and he, too, would live happily ever after (and be absolutely miserable when he thought about it).

--seed

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: skarpi
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 01:10 PM

Great Gouf....gouf.. sorry the flue is giving me a hard time I like this Rick have done this before???. I like it , All the best skarpi Iceland.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Micca
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 01:33 PM

Peter, Bravo and other extravagant praises, This is what I love here, You open a perfectly? normal? thread and find that i nearly wet meslf at the confuser keyboard as I read. But now the important question , when it is filmed by Hollywood who will they cast as the Mudcatters? any suggestions( living or dead) of who you would cast, remember there will not be anyone ordinary looking like us, but only "beautiful people" my first thoughts
Aine= Meryl Streep (NOI)
BanjoBonnie= Meg Ryan (definitely NOI)
Katlaughing= Kathleen Turner(Tongue so far in cheek its coming out my ear)
Rick Fielding= James Stewart

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Bert
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 01:40 PM

Catspaw=Marti Feldman

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: kendall
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 01:49 PM

would someone please tell me what the hell you are on about? Have I been gone THAT long?

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: bill\sables
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 02:01 PM

This looks like it could turn into a good soap, better than Coronation Street and Eastenders but then again anything is better than Coronation Street and Eastenders Cheers Bill

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 02:49 PM

He He He they missed me !!!!!!!!!! OH SHIT, SPOKE TOO SOON screeeeeeeeech "get that drunken sailor over there, he ain't mad but belongs inside anyway, crazy bastard"

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: InOBU
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 03:07 PM

And PeterT? What is he doing in the padded cell with a cashew pearched on his thingie? Och, don t mind him, he-s just effin nuts!
Gleefully bughouse
and sorry for the coursity
Larry

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Micca
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 03:50 PM

And who is going to play Cleigh, De Niro or Pacino? or the Heron for that matter!!!!

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Llanfair
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 03:51 PM

That was fabulous!!! Well done!! It really hit the spot!! Hwyl, Bron.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Bert
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 04:08 PM

Micca, Cleigh has gotta be Pacino, and how about Peter O'Toole for the heron?

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Willie-O
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 04:09 PM

I'd be rollin on the f***ing floor if I was a bit less dignified....where would they put all these miscreants...some long-dormant largish rural structure...I suggest the McDonalds Corners Agricultural Hall though additional security will be needed to keep out all the others that will constantly trying to break into the new Neil Young Detention Centre for the Delusionally UnEntrepeneurial....

Bill C

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From:
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 04:54 PM

Seed, don't be silly; Gargoyle's the one who called the guys with the nets! He's hiding halfway down the block in a garbage can, laughing up his sleeve.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 04:58 PM

'S wonderful, Peter!

Micca: Kathleen Turner????!!! Can't stand her! How about Emma Thompson?

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: kendall
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 05:07 PM

Now I see...the first time I opened this thread...the first thing I saw was a response..not the original opening. Relax you guys..I know a good lawyer.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Willie-O
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 05:10 PM

Me too, he's in the next cell...

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Dave Swan
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 06:06 PM

AUTHOR!!AUTHOR!! Loud huzzahs from a packed looney bin. Masterful. E.S.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Mbo
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 06:26 PM

Might I start a thread creep, regarding who you want to play yourself in the classic movie "The Day They Came For Mudcat"? Or is that too BS-y? Just wondering...don't want to offend...

--Mbo

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: lamarca
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 06:26 PM

Mr. Timmerman's early 21st century (or late 20th century) opus, "Waiting for Mudcat" firmly established his theater credentials among the cognoscenti. The characterizations of Everyman and Everywoman as denizens of an archetypal virtual reality whose eschatological worth is not recognized by the haute bourgeouisie is delicately played out in short, terse segments of dialog. The instantaneous evaluation of psychorelational dysfunction in the denizens of this community by the increasingly distraught "Official" is reminiscent of early Cleese or Gilliam in its evocation of laughter through the juxtaposition of absurdist statements like

"...but anyway, we offer all sorts of refreshments and entertainment, we have special theme nights, a jello wrestling pool, a velcro wall of death, the usual." and "Well, everyone to their taste., as if taste had anything to do with the aforementioned Tavern; or

"Are you trying to tell me that you were watching Elke Sommer in the nude, and all you can remember is the guitar she was wearing????" and "Well, yes, of course.".

All in all, a fine effort, sure to make the Millennium's Best list in the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed...

Bravo, Peter!
Mary

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: JenEllen
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 06:39 PM

Actually, it's the only thing they'll play on the flight to the Neil Young Center. They Clockwork Orange you into watching it...it's not pretty.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Max
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 06:42 PM

Can my character have a love scene with Meg Ryan? Remeber, I insist on playing myself... unless one of the other characters gets a love scene with Meg Ryan, then I want to play them.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: TerriM
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 06:46 PM

I could bake a cake with a file in it guys, for when you get bored or sung out and want to go home; of course, the cake is more likely to be of use sawing through the bars than the file; just for heaven sake don't forget NOT to eat it!

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 07:06 PM

"No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned.....A man in jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company" Samuel Johnson 1759.

Close the door on yer way out mates! the cable TV is great and we get steak tonight.No call outs and no work aloft, just leave me be I'll be allright here.Hell they can't even flog me in here. Yours, Aye. Dave

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 07:12 PM

Micca, I definately approve of my casting.
Max, would you mind if I directed that scene? I would like to make sure it is authentic and all.

BB

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: sophocleese
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 07:54 PM

TerriM, great idea with the saw except they'd likely play it instead of sawing with it. Then they'd put the cake crumbs in a tin and shake that.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: InOBU
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 08:04 PM

Being that we are all bughouse, we on the inside will bake a cake with all of us in it, to be sent to anyone on the outside... that is if there are any mudcatters on the outside... it is more fun in the cake!
Larry

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: momnopp
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 08:14 PM

FABULOUS!! I loved every line. My son kept asking what the heck I was laughing about. . . Cheers, JudyO

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Max
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 08:36 PM

Banjo Bonnie: That sure is fine with me, especially if you're kinky. But then again, I guess it's only BASED on a true story. I gotta talk to the writer then...

Peter, can we talk?

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 08:53 PM

I've got an Italian Eko guitar - doesn't sound too good, but I'll look at it with renewed interest after Rick's revelation about Elke Sommer's revelation.

Could we use it in the film? I could bring it along for the auditions maybe?

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 09:03 PM

Max I think Peter is looking for a quality production directed with knowledge and experience.
Kinky sounds like some kind of B film to me.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Max
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 09:18 PM

Its an M film. Anyway, any scene with Meg would do...

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: ddw
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 10:13 PM

I didn't get caught in the first raid, but I'd love to be there if they come around again. Think about it — no work, food, shelter and all those musicians around? That's not jail, that's heaven!

Great job, Peter.

david

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Susan A-R
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 10:19 PM

My oh my. That was a good 'un Peter. Thanks.

Susan A-R

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: JenEllen
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 10:30 PM

Okay, if Max gets a love scene with Meg, and I have to be trapped in a cell, I want Liam Neeson. "That's it Rob Roy darlin', WHO'S your Jedi Master!"

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: sophocleese
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 10:34 PM

Well I don't know what bit part I'd be playing, fence post or ceiling fan but I do know I want to share the scene with Harvey. Ahhh!

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: thosp
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 10:42 PM

BRAVO!!! BRAVO!!! AUTHOR! AUTHOR!!!

(i've got tears rolling down)

peace (Y) thosp

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Lenny
Date: 06 Jan 00 - 10:54 PM

Peter T. if your not a professional writer, you should be! Are you by any chance?

Len Evans

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Peter T.
Date: 07 Jan 00 - 12:57 PM

The Hollywood joke is that the starlet was so stupid she slept with the writer. I have no casting power, though I am willing to expand anyone's part for a consideration. The current music background is the theme from 8 1/2.... /
yours, Peter T.
(P.S. Lenny, nope, though I do publish a lot of academic goop.)

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Jeri
Date: 07 Jan 00 - 01:05 PM

OK, lemme get this straight...Max has got a love scene with Meg Ryan who will be playing Banjo Bonnie, and JenEllen's character will be trapped in a cell with Liam Neeson, who is playing...er, who cares. I would like to audition for the part of JenEllen. (Several times, I probably wouldn't get the part, but oh! the auditions!)

Peter T - I absolutely love it!

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Jan 00 - 01:13 PM

So soph gets Harvey all to herself??!!!*bg*

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Micca
Date: 07 Jan 00 - 01:20 PM

I think us UK 'Catters (since we have not been picked up by the Fuzz. a tricky operation at the best of times) will have to start a Free the Mudcat 200 (or is it the Indianapolis 500) and agitate for the rights of 'possum blowers, Maybe a rally in Hyde Park and a march to the American Embassy in Grosvenor Square, it would then get some British actors cast in the Movie.Maybe
Lanfair=Catherine Zeta Jones
McGrath of Harlow= Richard Harris

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: annamill
Date: 07 Jan 00 - 01:33 PM

I want Pamela Lee Anderson to play annap! and Glenn to play Glenn.. He'd love it.

HAHAHAHA! Peter. I love you more each day.

Love, annap

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Dani
Date: 07 Jan 00 - 02:10 PM

Well DONE, Peter. I can SEE Mick leaning back over his shoulder with a big leering wink in the van scene. The script is rich with possibility. My dad's got a garage, let's put on a show!

I saw a standup comedian the other night, can't remember his name, who said, "I wrote a screenplay, and the producer said it was OK, but I should rewrite it. F*** that, I'm just going to make a copy of it!"

Dani

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: MMario
Date: 07 Jan 00 - 02:18 PM

Is this a documentary or a fantasy? If the former I am afraid I would need to be played by John Goodman, but if the latter then Liam Neesan can play me.

MMario

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 07 Jan 00 - 02:29 PM

Peter... I would like to, well round out my character a bit more. I just don't seem him speaking so matter-of-factly about a place like the Tavern. A slight rewrite (with your permission) might go something like...

enter LEJ stage right, wearing a tuxedo, his eyes care-worn but kind.

LEJ: I need a drink. A tall cool one that reminds me of her.
BBC: Sure, Boss. St Pauli Girl ?
LEJ: No, she was from Copenhagen. A real looker, but she had a way of breaking my heart with nothing more than that melancholy smile. I thought it was all over back in Paris..
BBC: France, Boss?
LEJ: No. Kentucky. When I put her on that Greyhound with a change of underwear, a busted D Marine Band harp, and a sawbuck, I guess I never thought I'd see her again. But of all the Virtual joints in the entire Cyber World, she walks into mine...
Banjer(sitting in the corner tuning banjo)Banjer: Hey, LEJ. Shall I do another medley of Top Hits of the 20th Louisiana Zoauves/
LEJ: No, Banj, play the one... the one she liked...
Banj: You mean..?
LEJ: Yeah, Neal Diamond's I am I said. But make it sound like Earl Scruggs with the Foggy Mountain Boys.

Whaddaya think PT?

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Mbo
Date: 07 Jan 00 - 03:01 PM

Oooh...EJ, I like the Sam Spade theme--that would bd fun to do! Hmmm...who would play me? I think John Rhys-Davies would be cool, but he's a little too heavy and about 40 years too old...

--Mbo

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Peter T.
Date: 07 Jan 00 - 03:19 PM

Err, LEJ, it doesn't quite, you know, go with the overall thematic arc. It would work reasonably well in a 3 act play (in Act 2 we go back to Paris, we'll always have Paris), but in a one act play, you have to be ruthless about subplots. Just remember that in this version you do have more lines than catspaw, which certainly wouldn't be true in real life...
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: JenEllen
Date: 07 Jan 00 - 05:52 PM

No fear Jeri, I think there's enough of Liam to go 'round! ;) Just lead the poor devil from cell to cell... LeeJ, the Casa'Catta angle is a beaut. Laughing to your music in my head. At least it's no longer the bow-chick-a-bow-bow stuff in my head from being in the cell next to Max's Meg Ryan audition....Elle

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Jan 00 - 06:33 PM

Can I have a love scene with Sir Sean Connery please? Our chest hair could mingle, and afterwards, we'd eat the cake, providing it was chocolate cake of course....

LTS, drooling at the thought of Sean and Chocolate in the same breath....... shhllllluuuuuurrrrp!!!

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: bbc
Date: 07 Jan 00 - 07:16 PM

For the sake of accuracy, it should probably be my son, David, who gets dragged away. He's taken many more (& better) pictures than I have. I'm probably just sitting in a corner somewhere, smiling supportively. I like it, Peter!

bbc

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: alison
Date: 08 Jan 00 - 12:29 AM

Here's the cast list from the last time we thought about doing a Mudcat Movie

I'm still willing to let my charactor have a fling with Sean Connery, no matter who he's playing...... hahahaha

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: TerriM
Date: 08 Jan 00 - 12:51 AM

< sounds of doleful mouth organ wailing in background, large, sweaty nurse enters but speaks in voice like Kenneth Williams:> "Okay, you lot, stop messing about! You've corrupted all the other inmates, turned every conceivable item on the ward into a musical instrument and drunk all the rubbing alcohol.There's an infuriated mob outside the gate demanding your release, a letter here from several famous actors saying they want no part of it and the Governor's gone on sick leave for the duration.If I hear She Moved thru the Fair one more time I'm gonna scream and, quite frankly people, you're more trouble than you're worth. That's it.... OUT!"

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: InOBU
Date: 08 Jan 00 - 01:25 AM

NEWS FLASH!
The inmates have taken over the asylum! Stop
Kicked out the guards! stop
kicked out the doctors! Stop
Made the place very exclusive! stop
You have to be nuts to get in! Stop
Larry

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Escamillo
Date: 08 Jan 00 - 02:22 AM

Applauses to Peter T ! Bravo, Master. At this time (4:25 AM) the only one intrigued about my laughs is Giménez (our official dog)
But please, don't make a movie, let's make AN OPERA! Un abrazo - Andrés

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: JenEllen
Date: 08 Jan 00 - 02:29 AM

Oh! Opera! We'll have to get some metallic spray paint for the coconut bras, and enough plastic Vikings helments to go around...

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Alice
Date: 08 Jan 00 - 10:58 AM

I agree with Andrés, this should be an opera. The Drama!!! The Humor!! The Tragedy!!! The Villian!! The Tenor!!! The Soproano... la, la, la, laaaaah... over the top... And alison, thanks for linking to the Mudcat Movie casting thread. I was thinking about it as I read all these messages. -alice

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Alice
Date: 08 Jan 00 - 11:00 AM

Soproano? prufreed, proofread

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Jan 00 - 11:05 AM

Actually Alice, Soproano sounds like something you might use to clean your shower, so in your case I find it appropriate.(:<))

Spaw

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Alice
Date: 08 Jan 00 - 11:11 AM

Yes, Spaw, maybe the annual (ano) cleaning of the shower as in your case? ;-)

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 08 Jan 00 - 08:04 PM

Oh welche lust Prisoners chorus from Beethoven's Fidelio playing in the background Oy! yer forgot me I can't sing anything in bloody opera why don't you get some decent tog's (English slang from the Roman Toga, meaning any kind of clothing) dress like bloody pirates and sailors and sing a decent song from Gilbert and Sullivan. When constabulary duties to be done to be done a policemans lot is not anappy one!!!! appy one Aye, Dave

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Mbo
Date: 08 Jan 00 - 08:53 PM

Ahh when the cutthroat isn't occupied in crime, he loves to hear the little brook a-gurgling (BROOK A-GURGLING) and listen to the merry village chime (VILLAGE CHIME)...ARRRRRRRR, Oy be the beh-eh sighla!!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 08 Jan 00 - 10:31 PM

As someday it may happen that a victim must be found, I've got a little list I've got a little list; of society offenders who might well be underground; and who never would be missed, who never would be missed. There's the pestilential nuisances who write to Kats that laugh, all jazz players who have flabby hands and irritating laughs. All poster's that are up to late and Offer's playing flat; All people who start blowing possums just to make them fart. and all third persons on spoiling gargoyles tete a tete's insist; they'd none of them be missed they'd none of them be missed. He's got em on the list he's got em on the list, and they'd none of them be missed they'd none of them be missed. There's the banjo serenader and the others of his race, and the piano organist,I've got him on the list. and the people who play bohdrans and get very very pissed. They never would be missed they never would be missed. Then the idiot's who play bagpipes with a most annoying drone in Mudcats homes, and each and every country but his own. And the lady from the Mudcats who sings just like a guy. And who doesnt think she'll sound bad so she's going to have a try. And that singular annomaly a lady shanty'ist I don't think she'll be missed, I know she'll not be missed. He's got her on the list, he's got her on the list and I don't think she'll be missed I'm sure she'll not be missed. And that very pious nuisance who's a sailor humourist, I know he'll not be missed I'm sure he'll not be missed, all funny posters danlbears lurking in the list there's none of them be missed there's none of them be missed. and appologetic posters of a most unusual kind. such as what did you call it, giggyist and others of their kind. it really does'nt matter who you put upon the list cause there's none of them be missed there's none of them be missed. Yours, Aye.

there's none of them be missed there's none of them be missed.

I've got her on the listthem on the list I've got them on the list. tith you likepeople who play bagpipes and possums wailing farts. There's the banjo serenaders All arguments with gargoyle developed from small Discussions on another thread that reallya

And the Banjo players who indulge in playing the bagpipes I've got them on the list, yes I've got them on the list, and there's none of them be missed; there's none of them be missed........Good evening Mbo. I did'nt know you liked G&S I'm impressed....Yours, aye. Dave

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Appologies for the editing problem at the end Dave
Date: 08 Jan 00 - 10:34 PM

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Alice
Date: 09 Jan 00 - 10:04 AM

Catspaw, I'm checking in to make sure you are all right. The last time I teased you about cleaning the shower you wound up in the hospital. A case of Soproano is virtually on its way to you. Scrub in good health, friend! Meet you at the singalong in the Neil Young Center. -alice

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Peter T.
Date: 09 Jan 00 - 10:28 AM

I would certainly miss Margaret, a lady shanteyist.yours, Peter T. ("I am the very model of a Modern Mudcat General, I've information musical and virtual and visceral....)

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jan 00 - 12:10 PM

As the token fat lady, who can do her own Viking plaits, but is missing one half of the tin bra, you all have to wait until I sing, and as I've had a throat full of razor blades for about a month now, that could take time!!!

Dave the Ancient Marinade, keep taking the tablets and see me in a week.....

LTS

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Arnie
Date: 09 Jan 00 - 01:03 PM

Lordy! WOW! This thread absolutely proves beyond any doubt that folkies can really put new technology to good use.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jan 00 - 01:06 PM

Ah yes, but for a lot of us, new technology includes electrickery, the infernal combustion engine and different shoes for left and right feet!

LTS, luddite and traditionalist!!

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Davey
Date: 09 Jan 00 - 01:33 PM

Wonderful reading... I'll be chuckling to myself for the rest of the day...... Looking forward to the movie version and the TV series.

Davey... (:>)

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Dave ( the ancient mariner )
Date: 09 Jan 00 - 01:37 PM

Sorry I was making very merry yesterday, and gave you a version of The MUDCAT MIKADO. I really enjoy Comic Opera and it is fairly common in the Royal Navy to have a SODS OPERA night where songs or a play are done by the sailors onboard for entertainment. I just cold not resist the temptation to Mudcatise this song. Peter T work on that Mudcat General it's got potential mate. I find it's hard working from an abused memory (rum and Bushmills), I must look up the words in future. Yours, (hung over and terribly sorry for the poor quality and editing)Aye. Dave

A wandering Minstrel AYE a thing of shreds and patches Of ballads songs and snatches, and dreamy lullabies My repatoir is known through all the passions ranging and to your humors changing, I tune my Sarbo song I tune my Sarbo{sp?} song.

But if you call for a song of the sea we'll heave the capstan round, with a yo heave ho the wind is free her anchors a'drip and her helms a'lee Hurrah for the homeward bound, Yo Ho Heave Ho Hurrah for the homeward bound.

To lay aloft in a howling breeze may tickle a landsmans taste, but the happiest hour a sailor see's is when he's down at an inland town, with JenEllen on his knee's Yo Ho and his arm around her waist........Yours, Aye.Dave

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: poet
Date: 09 Jan 00 - 06:55 PM

Bloody Brilliant.

was he really looking at the Guitar. How old is he for gods sake.

Graham.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: JenEllen
Date: 09 Jan 00 - 07:19 PM

Spend one summer on a troller, and you are a legend in sailors songs, is that it Dave? HA! I could have used your spark on that boat, they couldn't sing for crap. Fond memories of sunburned parts...you can plant your arm around my waist and I'll tell you all about it. I've got some time to kill before I have to go get the vikings helmets....Elle

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 09 Jan 00 - 07:26 PM

Elle, make sure there are no bloody lurking Norsemen still wearing them when you pick em up lass. (they bite) I love a good sea story anytime M'dear Yours,( tuning his pipes) Aye. Dave

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: JenEllen
Date: 09 Jan 00 - 07:50 PM

Bloody Lurking Norsemen are no match for Irish Temper under full sail. I'd like to see them try something, I'm spoiling for a good rumble. ;) Just like anything else, you grab 'em by the horns, you get attention...Shouldn't have to come to that though, a flutter o' the eyelashes and the helmets are mine.

Sea story? An entire summer in the Atlantic. From Woods Hole to Destin, Florida. Sun and cold, wind and rain, salt on my skin, and the worst sunburn I ever had in my life. Pale lassie neglected the sunscreen severely. My crewmates were college kids with no clue, spent most of the time hanging over the side feeding the fish what they had eaten for dinner. Cap'n Jake taught me "Stormy Weather" one night while playing cribbage. "She rolls away with a roar and a crack, but there ain't no bargemen up on her deck, Stormy Weather boys, Stormy Weather, When the wind blows, the barge will go...." Elle

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 09 Jan 00 - 08:13 PM

The Skippers half drunk in the Dog and Duck and we're waiting for the day, waiting for the day that we get our pay. Gave up barging and took a farm did ye lass? smart woman. Same principal but wrong end m'dear it's grab em by the (private parts) (there may be kids and politically correct people reading this so I can't say Balls! Oh Shit! I'm dun fer)and their hearts and minds will follow... Yours, Aye. Dave (the ancient Bullshipper)

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: JenEllen
Date: 09 Jan 00 - 08:25 PM

Norsemen are no match for a gal that makes it her business to know how to neuter. Elle

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Aug 04 - 11:41 PM

Refresh, just for the fun of PeterT's still brill writing!

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 11:27 AM

`This belongs on the nostalgia thread. Thanks, kat.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Peter T.
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 11:49 AM

I still have a sneaking preference for Sgt Kat and Her Howling Commandos.

yours,

Peter T.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Matt_R
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 11:58 AM

Talk about a blast from the past.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: s6k
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 04:24 PM

yeh but...

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: s6k
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 04:24 PM

post number 100 !!!! i thank you!

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Cluin
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 04:28 PM

Oh, Max... get another fur-lined pisspot out of storage... we have another winner here!


Can somebody explain the big deal around submitting the 100th post in a thread. please?

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Charley Noble
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 08:35 PM

Thanks for this refreshing thread!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Bill D
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 09:13 PM

the 100th post?...oh, it's a matter of ENORMOUS social status, like seeing the first Robin in Spring, or popping the most soap bubbles.

Gives meaning to otherwise empty lives ;>)

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Cluin
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 09:42 PM

I understand, Bill.





Sorry, I watched Peter Sellers' "Being There" last night.

"There will be growth in the sping."

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Bobert
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 09:56 PM

Danged!

Glad I weren't 'round back then! Whew! So like how'd ya all get back here? Or did ya? Maybe all you folks is like aliens, 'er somethin' that was sent in to look like you but ain't you? You think about that possibility? Heck no, ya' didn't! And why? 'Cause all you folks is aliens! Ha! Don't mess wwith this ol' hillbilly unless you'd packed several lunches, ya bunch of aliens...

Get back!...

Bobert

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 10:16 PM

Ah...now that was the true BS era...

(Before Shatner)

Very, very funny! It was shortly prior to my own introduction to Mudcat, and it was a very quirky community at that time with a somewhat different mood compared to its present one...more tribal and warmer, I'd say.

Shatner and I are NOT to blame for the change!

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Bobert
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 10:31 PM

Sorry, LH, but Shatner had allready fingered you...

Is that your final answer?

Awww, jus' funnin'. Shatner said you was a fine feller...

Bobert

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Cluin
Date: 15 Aug 04 - 10:34 PM

Shatner.

Nuff said.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: katlaughing
Date: 16 Aug 04 - 12:22 AM

Glad you all have enjoyed this again, or for the first time.

Peter, naturally, I am a bit prejudiced when it comes to Sgt. Kat and her howling commandos, too! You are so spot on, ya know?!

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Aug 04 - 12:30 AM

Cluin...oh, yes! "Being There"..one of my all-time favorites! Right up there with "Brewster McCloud" and "The Gods Must Be Crazy".

Significance can be found in the strangest places.....

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Aug 04 - 12:33 AM

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: Cllr
Date: 16 Aug 04 - 05:55 AM

brilliant It makes you wonder what other gems are lurking in the past thank you Kat Cllr

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: GUEST,Paranoid Android
Date: 16 Aug 04 - 09:28 PM

What about that guy "John from Arkansas" who solves tech problems by converting tech jargon to plain english. Is he tooooo sane for the asylum?

Subject: RE: THE DAY THEY CAME FOR MUDCAT
From: GUEST,12stringman
Date: 17 Apr 05 - 05:56 PM

I think that the whole darn thing is vundervul.

I have an addition tho.

HEAD OF THE VAN DRIVERS PUTS POSSUM ON THE VAN ANYWAY AND THROWS OUT ENORMOUS HAMMER AT OFFICIAL, STRIKING HIM IN THE HEAD, KNOCKING HIM SENSLESS. ALL MUDCATTERS IN THE ASYLUM ARE SET FREE BY A TALKING KOALA.

END WITH VANS DRIVING INTO THE SUNSET.

Hope y'all enjoy it!

Larry