New Year's Tavern 2022

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Jan 22 - 08:32 AM

Nobody fingers me. At least, not without my consent.

And a pinkie, at most.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 22 - 07:44 PM

ASL, he knows, will finger you to the cops.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 Jan 22 - 05:30 PM

Roget, um, roger that!

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 11 Jan 22 - 11:42 AM

Why can't I think of another word for thesaurus?

Robin

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Mrrzy
Date: 10 Jan 22 - 11:34 AM

Oh that thief is suffering major shrinkage!

North. He ran north.

No trousers for his one-eyed snake...
No pants, underpants, jeans, leggings, or thesaurus.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Senoufou
Date: 10 Jan 22 - 04:22 AM

Goodness me! Running around 'pantless' eh? 'Pants' in UK means underpants, or undercrackers. I hope you actually mean 'trousers'? Pantless would result in some very chilly ...er... body parts! Not to mention arrest by the Plod for indecent exposure!

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Jan 22 - 03:46 AM

"A thief runs, pantless and panting, into the night."
In which direction? What does he or she have in his or her pockets?

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Mrrzy
Date: 10 Jan 22 - 01:44 AM

Various compliments are scrawled on the outhouse's inside walls... One says, in ASL, Stokoe was a genius.

Another reads, in English: Houston, be advised: Rich Purnell is a steely-eyed missile man.

One in German was written in the old calligraphy but the ink has run, over the years, and over the knotholes, making it hard to decipher. There might be a reference to a Biergarten...

Something appears to have been painted by a drunken squid using multiple tentacles.

The Klingon one is too profane to list here. And that is saying a lot.

There are cartoons of famous people lining up around the bar. A voice from outside says Hey, it's Mohamed, can I join the party? and the bartender hollers No! And put some clothes on!

A thief runs, pantless and panting, into the night...

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 22 - 08:36 PM

Interesting, especially as the ASL is "live".

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Mrrzy
Date: 09 Jan 22 - 08:33 PM

Somebody, or several bodies, has/have festooned the bar with a broad banner saying "New Year's Tavern 2022" in many languages, including ASL.

---

As Jean Luc Picard said "Make it so!" ---tipsy mudelf

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Jan 22 - 02:53 PM

[the new animated movie Transylvania Hotel has stolen our 'blobby' lime green jello that transforms into a monster]

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Jan 22 - 03:29 AM

"Beaver Butt"- that's a new one for me, but if it works, Rap, it's worth the cost. Prices go up. They never come down.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jan 22 - 09:09 PM

One of the beavers develops diarrhea and Our Hero quickly feeds the poor critter some wood glue, which solves THAT problem!

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Jan 22 - 04:23 PM

Could you deliver the dishonoring note to Lord Krawl?
General Corvo says "I can't deliver it because he knows I know you, perhaps that bat could do it"
(Giving the note to Lord Krawl will trigger the penultimte task in the "Pendleton's Note" side objective knowing if Corvo fails to deliver the letter, Pendleton will disclose his mistress and reveal that he likened the face of Lord Krawl's wife to that of a plague rat.)-
"you're right, the batitis" he says
The problem is he's not a homing bat.
That leaves the Wombat.
Do you have any tape to hold the note to its forehead.
It won't stick to fur
Furget it, Pendleton is an ass anyway. Crumpet?
OK...maybe we could mail it...
Let sleeping squids float.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Jan 22 - 11:49 AM

"Scale model" in that it fits indoors. Inside the kitchen, near the back door.

A beaver family waddles into the tavern, wrenches the tree from it's stand, and proceeds to start eating it.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Donuel
Date: 08 Jan 22 - 11:11 AM

The three wisemen did drop by yesterday on the day of Epiphaney and had an epiphaney. It was that The Christmas Tavern is a very strange place.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 08 Jan 22 - 10:54 AM

The Gnome opens one eye at the mention of Sheep Dip. Locking his lips he raises the barrel to his lips, takes a large swallow and tosses the barrel over his shoulder in disgust.

"That's not proper Sheep Dip!" he cries before going back to sleep.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Jan 22 - 12:05 AM

The bald mouse, being well-padded, is fine, but will not say no to a large decaf Irish whiskey, no Baileys, no mint, yes whipped cream!

The glass is about the same size as the bat, and *piping* hot. Really. The steam sounds like bagpipes. Impressed, and having been to both Draco's Tavern *and* the Long Spoon, la chauve-souris, avec courage, entame sa boisson. Irish coffee has to be drunk while still hot all the way down. The bat *has* to be drunk after that, and in fact will be drunkenly alert for hours.

Now, it's the bat that sounds like bagpipes, on every exhale, but, too drunk to figure out why the bloody piper never seems to finish a song, is trying to shout requests over the sound of the pipes. This does not go well for the bat, but since all the shouting and, in fact, all the piping, has been in too high a register for the Squid, or most of the adult humans, to register, not many notice anything much.

A bat head down in a nice warm freshly-enptied hot whiskey glass is no unusual sight on *this* bar, after all.

Eventually, the glass cools, and the bat extricates themself and lands upright, wearing a dashing melty whipped-cream beret. The pipes stopped when the steam ran out, so the bat whirls back off above the dance floor, scattering off-white blobs immediately mistaken for guano.

That doesn't go so well for the bat, either...

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 08:48 PM

They usually do. And what do you mean, "scale model trebuchet"?

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 04:28 PM

I wonder if the Three Wise Men will swing by whilst
returning and avoiding King Herod,
and stop in to tie up their camels for a moment.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 12:24 PM

The Mudcat Xmas Tavern may be a destination for enthusiasts of locked room mysteries, but a large game of Clue comes to mind for the venue. Ms Scarlett in the kitchen with the scale-model trebuchet. Flinging baby bats out the back door to their unending glee.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Senoufou
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 12:10 PM

Oh pauvre petit chauve-souris! Quel dommage! La vieille frotte sa tete et danse Le Mapouka pour lever le morale.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 09:48 AM

The African accidentally swings the bat into the post! Oh, no!

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Senoufou
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 07:21 AM

Ha! Post number 100!!

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Senoufou
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 07:20 AM

Just drink it tup, ewe might like it. Gets rid of maggots and ticks in your gut I imagine.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 06:08 AM

Yes, but you should see what it does to the sheep!

Robin

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Senoufou
Date: 07 Jan 22 - 03:54 AM

A second barrel arrives containing Sheep Dip (from Yeovil Ales, Wiltshire) and the Old Lady tries it. "Very nice!" she says, giving a small hiccup.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jan 22 - 10:20 PM

He calls, "Sheep Dip! I want Sheep Dip!"

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Senoufou
Date: 06 Jan 22 - 03:51 PM

Old Lady laughs and gives the piano-key-protector a hug. She plays some more lively jigs to get everyone bobbing around. African Man is laughing too. He's jigging around with the sweet bat and keeping it nice and warm. "More Old Speckled Hen ale please!" and lo! a huge barrel is rolled in. Cheers everybody!

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Jan 22 - 01:38 PM

A moment later I slide to my knees at the piano bench where Old Lady is suddenly playing a lively jig, the last bit of crumpet disappearing between the beatific lips.

I beg your pardon, I say earnestly and loudly. You, of all people, would not smear the keys. Please forgive me.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Jan 22 - 04:01 AM

I stand up and in as stentorian voice as I can manage- being of the gentler persuasion, I roar: Old Lady! Put it down! Or swallow it- I don't care. I'm not putting another dollar into that old pianny if another greasy pair of hands gets on those keys!

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Senoufou
Date: 06 Jan 22 - 03:53 AM

The old lady (in rather a bossy mood, using her retired teacher voice) stands up and orders everyone back to their seats. "Now, anyone who is caught turning off the heating will lose their playtime and stand in the corner. The monitors will fetch more wood and stoke up the fire. Everyone take out your Singing Together songbooks from your desks and we will sing all the songs from page one onwards!"
She toddles over the to upright piano and starts to bash out the accompaniment (rather difficult, because she's munching on a buttered crumpet while playing).

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 06 Jan 22 - 01:09 AM

'The situation of the Mudcati cannot be settled' according to that esteemed Latin academic, Dr Google

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 22 - 09:44 PM

Non ita sunt tranctanda res Mudcatorum!

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Jan 22 - 07:30 PM

I'm just glad Oz kicked Jokavich out.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 05 Jan 22 - 07:24 PM

A good old fashioned mid-winter-snowed-in Locked Room mystery?

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Jan 22 - 06:46 PM

Mr. Body is missing. We could split up and do a search.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 05 Jan 22 - 05:40 PM

The black belt caterpillar wrestler emerges from the obscure door that leads to the vast array of back rooms.
"It's OK the battery backup is fully charged and the wind turbine is on full power. Someone has been switching things off though, as though they want to start a detective mystery. Is anyone missing?"

Robin

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Mrrzy
Date: 05 Jan 22 - 04:32 PM

Aaaaand there goes the power.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Jan 22 - 09:54 AM

on the tenth day of xmas my trueluv gave to me, um...uh... ah fugit FIVE GOLDEN RINGS

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 22 - 09:28 PM

So? Here is food, wine and more, friends, warmth (if someone will please take care of that fire), Squiddy, jello, music, song, bathrooms, bats, and much, much more. The only roads out of here are those that go Somewhere Else.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Jan 22 - 08:35 AM

Roger burst through the door with snow blowin in, "The roads are closed!"

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Jan 22 - 08:26 AM

More wood!

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Jan 22 - 07:37 AM

Of course, Rap. Coming right up. I'm not sleepy yet. Last "night" I found myself crawling into bed at 10 til 5:00. I agree that that is overdoing it. Obviously, I'm not getting enough exercise to get tired.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jan 22 - 09:36 PM

Cold, too. SOMEBODY STOKE UP THE FIRE!!!

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Jan 22 - 01:53 PM

The bat is warbling The Frozen Logger and giggling at how that 40-year old waitress -- who used to be so *old* -- is now, 50 some-odd years on, so young! What magic.

There is a blizzard outside, if you look out certain windows or walk out most doors.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 03 Jan 22 - 03:22 AM

what is this jello made of that it can kill high quality carbon steel, it's even more dangerous than I thought

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 22 - 08:21 PM

Using his trusty rapier he parries every glob thrown his way. Unfortunately, lime jello ill becomes his blade and soon it shows signs of rust and pitting in the high quality carbon steel. He pauses to wipe it clean on the weskit of someone nearby and a glob hits him right in the face. Fortunately, his mouth was closed at the time.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Mrrzy
Date: 02 Jan 22 - 10:02 AM

Foiled again...

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 01 Jan 22 - 11:28 PM

OH, NO!

killed? or wounded by jello, there can be no worse fate