New Year's Tavern 2022

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 22 - 09:03 PM

And the rapier man says pointedly, "Tigers go where they please."

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Mrrzy
Date: 02 Feb 22 - 09:50 PM

The tiger is the tiger who walks by himself, and all places are alike to him. He will not come.

The mildly tipsy bat kipples in, having decided to camouflage their guano for the amusement of snowball fighters and -man builders, and orders up another Irish decaf mocha. Breaking off a piece of that chocolate bar, they start dipping an end in the hot beverage, sucking off the melty chocolate, and taking sips while said chocolate is still on their tongue, enjoying each mouthful till it cools to body temp before consuming.

Sensuously sucking, sipping, savoring, and swallowing, the dipping bat winks at the rapier wit with a snaggle-toothed grin.

The contortionist applauds again.

The tiger, curled by the fire, is trying to figure out who has the snaggle-toothed grin, the rapier wit or the now rather inebriated bat.

Ed McCurdy's ghost appears suddenly with a pig, who slowly walks away. Ed sits next to the bat and orders some booze -no blood, no bones. His baritone is so rich, it makes the bat's current mouthful seem thin and tasteless, freaking the bat out till Ed finishes ordering and lo, the taste came back, whew.

Meanwhile, somewhere 13 clocks are striking, and a parrot whupples "Geep" somewhere else...

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Feb 22 - 11:42 PM

Heads twirl around on bodies . . .

Memes of wolves and cats eating groundhogs have appeared all day. Relatives of Mr G. had better stay indoors for a while.

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Senoufou
Date: 03 Feb 22 - 05:32 AM

Old lady sadly looks at a buttered crumpet and wonders what the African man is doing in his new home.

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Feb 22 - 08:59 AM

Whither has my warm-footed Ivorian meandered?

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Mrrzy
Date: 05 Feb 22 - 10:58 AM

The tiger spits a hairball in the corner and strolls back out of the Tavern. A concerned bat checks the hairball, not having seen the Squidlets in a while, but there were just some tiedyed fibers and a big toe hangnail.
The bat, relieved, releases some guano onto the hairball then flits up to a dark corner, to hang upside down and consider deep realities,

From somewhere in the distance come the destructive rumblings of an elephant in musth.

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 22 - 01:23 PM

Quickly he loads his elephant bun with foliage and fruits and awaits the pleasant pachyderm.

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Feb 22 - 10:20 AM

Bun? roars the elephant, who is trying to be keto.

Not easy, for an herbivore. But it does make for an unpleasant pachyderm.

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: keberoxu
Date: 06 Feb 22 - 09:11 PM

Now, where is the Ivorian,
now that the elephant shows up??

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Feb 22 - 10:34 PM

Bewitched by a grigri, far far away

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Feb 22 - 10:48 PM

This sounds like the creatures from the jigsaw puzzle in my sunroom are coming to life. Is there a flamingo in the bar? There's one in my puzzle.

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Mrrzy
Date: 06 Feb 22 - 11:44 PM

The flamingo with the upside-down smile has been caught flat-footed, trying to dance while standing on one leg, and falls (with style!) gracefully, missing barstools, the jello pit and the old lady, landing softly on the guano-covered hairball which, to be fair, he'd mistaken for a cushion or beanbag chair, turning his smile upside down, which confuses the ghost of Stephen Jay Gould, who's been hovering anywhere the bats aren't flitting.

Our particular bat, trying to pretend not to be laughing hyenacally, runs like that last sentence and quickly flits back upright to avoid having guano run in some even worse way. The rapier wit flicks a clean (ish) bar towel to the flamingo, turning his frown back into an upside-down smile. Stephen Jay Gould leaves, thumbing a ride with a panda and Sissy Hankshaw.

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Senoufou
Date: 07 Feb 22 - 03:48 AM

The old lady sits sadly in the corner trying hard to smile. The Ivorian elephant is nowhere to be seen, as he's moved to another tavern in another place. No more crumpets are to be consumed, and the old lady hopes for the arrival of some Morris dancers to cheer her up.

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Feb 22 - 10:44 AM

The bat squeaks Have a hot toddy! but the old lady doesn't hear anything that high-pitched any more, so the effort is not noticed. Nonetheless, hot Irish whiskey, hot tea, honey, and a lemon slice studded with cloves have appeared, sharing a tall glass glass with an ear-shaped handle, slightly to her left.

The smell of new crumpets wafts from the kitchen.

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 07 Feb 22 - 08:44 PM

Morris dancing - did someone say Morris dancing

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 07 Feb 22 - 08:53 PM

& it certainly is crumpet time (lunch time!) here in my part of the tavern

sandra

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Mrrzy
Date: 07 Feb 22 - 09:15 PM

Sharing a glass with an ear? Ooookkaaayyyy.....

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 22 - 09:47 PM

No, he says, no glass with an ear or an eye or a nose for me, thanks.

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Senoufou
Date: 08 Feb 22 - 03:34 AM

The old lady has been jigging about to the Black Joak Morris video, and feels more cheerful.

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 Feb 22 - 05:28 AM

nothing like a good jig to lift the spirits! more morris & a Mummer's play

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Feb 22 - 08:41 AM

Gigoté chic! cries a drunken bilingual ram, glad the tiger is gone.

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Feb 22 - 02:30 PM

Threwn about the empty tavern is lots of shit but none so curious as the perfectly cubed shaped wombat crap.

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 13 Feb 22 - 07:00 PM

Must be used to a good square meal!

Subject: RE: New Year's Tavern 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Feb 22 - 09:12 PM

Its been a real mystery. https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/scientists-have-solved-mystery-how-wombats-poop-cubes-180976898/