BS: Folk wisdom 2022

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 21 Jan 22 - 11:01 AM

Just. because people don't understand you, it doesn't mean you're an artist.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 20 Jan 22 - 03:44 PM

I can't shake him off. He sticks to me like shit to a blanket.


Look at him with the bandy legs. He couldn't stop a pig in an entry.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 20 Jan 22 - 03:41 PM

He's a few condoms short of an orgy

I looked into his eyes but there was nobody driving

He couldn't find his arse with both hands

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: sian, west wales
Date: 20 Jan 22 - 03:24 PM

Proverbs are the daughters of daily experience (Dutch):

She ain't got the sense God gave a head o' lettuce.

He's one kiwi fruit short of a good compost.

He wouldn't know beans if the bad was open.

A winter's fog will kill a dog. (That was my Aunt Joyce's and, no, I have no idea.)

Well, if you don't know where you're going, any road will do. (Overheard; 2 old codgers on a street corner, Perth, Ontario, just before an election.)

You never can tell
From where you sit
Where the man in the balconey's
Gonna spit.
(My mother)

Cylch yn agos, glaw ymhell; cylch ymhell, glaw yn agos. trans: Circle (i.e. halo, around the moon) is close, rain is far (away); circle is far (i.e. large), rain is close. (My aunt Bessie)

He wouldn't know (whatever) from two loads o' hay.

Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is.

And two from GK Chesteron:

On hobbies: "If a thing's worth doing, it's worth doing badly."
"My country right or wrong would be like saying, My mother, drunk or sober."

s,ww

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 17 Jan 22 - 05:07 PM

I have a feeling that you're right and I'm wrong, Doug :-(

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Jan 22 - 04:21 PM

Dying, is easy, everyone is doing it. But staying alive, difficult and for the few.
quote Billy Connolly

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Jan 22 - 04:14 PM

Brilliant/
He was also brilliant in the movie Quartet.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 17 Jan 22 - 03:04 PM

"Never trust a fart - ah an old one from the days of Spaw (he is certainly missed)"

Well actually I heard Billy Connolly saying this long before Mudcat was a twinkle in Max's eye.


This was part of Billy Connolly's advice on turning 60. Unless he had been reycling some of his old material, this would set it as some time in or after 2002. Mudcat had been going for a good few years by then.

DC

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 17 Jan 22 - 02:14 PM

"Never trust a fart - ah an old one from the days of Spaw (he is certainly missed)"

Well actually I heard Billy Connolly saying this long before Mudcat was a twinkle in Max's eye.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Jan 22 - 11:59 AM

For 50 years the NIH has conducted the 'Mongering the Future project.
It takes 30,000 kids and measures hundreds of parameters.
This year was the lowest in 50 years in regards to substance abuse.
No doubt about it, access and supply chains are at play.

No school and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 17 Jan 22 - 09:47 AM

You can never be paranoid enough until you achieve total omnicience.

Choose your words for the audience carefully.

(I used to get a lot of blowback from the word prophet.
I meant it in the MLK way but people identify 'prophet' as a fortune teller con man spiritualist joker.)

Happy MLK day today

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Mr Red
Date: 17 Jan 22 - 03:10 AM

Never trust a fart - ah an old one from the days of Spaw (he is certainly missed)

But more pertinently and consequentially:

Don't sit on a loose stool.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Neil D
Date: 16 Jan 22 - 02:21 PM

The question isn't whether I'm paranoid, but whether I'm paranoid enough.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 15 Jan 22 - 11:09 AM

How do you know the stage is level? The bass player drools out of both sides of his mouth.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Jan 22 - 02:12 PM

Billy swears brilliantly.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Mrrzy
Date: 13 Jan 22 - 12:48 PM

I just thought I might have been wrong, Steve. But apparently, I was mistaken!

Yeah, I never heard of adding asterisks but not omitting letters. Interesting.

But back to folk wisdom:
If your friend is honey, do not lick them thoroughly. From Tunisia. Similar to Give'm an inch, they'll take a mile.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 13 Jan 22 - 10:17 AM

Billy Connolly swears beautifully.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 13 Jan 22 - 08:43 AM

A skatological orgy and curse collection is not wisdom but is typical of a passive aggresive obcession. It is however highly folk.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 Jan 22 - 08:37 PM

I've taken the liberty to copy here the Guardian's style guide entry on swearwords:

swearwords

We are more liberal than any other newspapers, using language that most of our competitors would not. The statistics tell their own story: the word “fuck” (and its variants) appeared 705 times in the Guardian in the 12 months to April 2010, with a further 269 mentions in the Observer. (The figures for other national newspapers were as follows: Independent 279, Independent on Sunday 74, Times 3, Sunday Times 2, all other papers 0.) The figures for the C-word, still regarded by many people as taboo, were: Guardian 49, Observer 20, Independent 8, Independent on Sunday 5, everyone else 0.

Even some readers who agree with Lenny Bruce that “take away the right to say fuck and you take away the right to say fuck the government” might feel that we sometimes use such words unnecessarily, although comments in response to Guardian Style’s blogpost on the subject were overwhelmingly in support of our policy.

The editor’s guidelines are as follows:

First, remember the reader, and respect demands that we should not casually use words that are likely to offend.

Second, use such words only when absolutely necessary to the facts of a piece, or to portray a character in an article; there is almost never a case in which we need to use a swearword outside direct quotes. The use of swearwords in furniture, especially headlines, should also be avoided unless an editor deems it absolutely necessary.

Third, the stronger the swearword, the harder we ought to think about using it.

Finally, never use asterisks, or such silliness as b------, which are just a cop-out, as Charlotte Brontë recognised: “The practice of hinting by single letters those expletives with which profane and violent people are wont to garnish their discourse, strikes me as a proceeding which, however well meant, is weak and futile. I cannot tell what good it does – what feeling it spares – what horror it conceals”

Grand!

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 Jan 22 - 08:23 PM

Wa*nk

Fu*ck

B*ast*ard

B*ollo*cks

Tw*at

Ar*seh*ole

That's the way to do it. It's actually a rebellion against the rather twee habit of replacing letters in rude words with asterisks. Maybe I shouldn't have expected you to understand my brand of humour, maybe because you'd rather not?

By the way, I got my inspiration for this from a legend on the Session website who's no longer there (kudos, Michael Gill! Howya!). The Guardian style guide (q.v.) doesn't allow asterisks in swear words at all. Either use the word fully and boldly or find an alternative word.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Mrrzy
Date: 12 Jan 22 - 04:57 PM

I thought wank was spelled wank? What is the starred letter?

Taking water from the same well doesn't make all the cooks' sauces taste the same.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 Jan 22 - 03:35 PM

"More than two shakes and you're playing with it.

We're a bit more direct this end: "More than two shakes and it's a w*ank..."

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Jan 22 - 01:22 PM

"Never before have so many stadiums been built for so few to attend."
quote: China Olympic Chairman Doan Sitheer.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom poetry
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Jan 22 - 01:08 PM

No matter how much you shake and squeeze there's stiil a drop for your BVDs

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: gillymor
Date: 12 Jan 22 - 11:02 AM

More than two shakes and you're playing with it.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: fat B****rd
Date: 12 Jan 22 - 10:54 AM

And don't forget to slop your dripper.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Jan 22 - 09:49 AM

If you're addicted to placebos it won't matter if you quit.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 Jan 22 - 07:35 AM

I'll believe in the miracles of Lourdes when I see a one-legged man coming back with two legs.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 12 Jan 22 - 06:37 AM

You won't know your ignorance until you learn something new.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 12 Jan 22 - 06:37 AM

Never put all your eggs in one basket before you leap.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Joe_F
Date: 11 Jan 22 - 05:59 PM

It is prudent to put control over precaution in the hands of the person at greater risk.

A friend in power is a friend lost.

Sending me to my room won't keep me out of mischief.

Not all are free who mock their chains.

Imagine being a human and calling something else pointless!ff

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 10 Jan 22 - 07:57 PM

The fact that your head is still attached at the neck doesn't mean that no-one's sharpening a knife.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 10 Jan 22 - 07:45 PM

There are 10 kinds of people on this planet: those who understand binary numbers and those who don't.

DC

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 10 Jan 22 - 07:31 PM

There are three kinds of people on this planet: those who are good at arithmetic and those who aren't.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Jan 22 - 12:15 PM

find the folk saying...

a. The pig that knows his truffles will eat well.

b. The derivitive expert knows how to make them up out of thin air.

c. Manufacturing a cheap deady virus makes for an expensive cure.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 10 Jan 22 - 11:41 AM

The real genius was the man who invented the second telephone.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Mrrzy
Date: 10 Jan 22 - 11:38 AM

There is a Klingon thing about teaching someone to fly... Push'm outa the plane and they'll fly for the rest of their life...

Don't test the water with both feet.

If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Jan 22 - 08:02 AM

poor Severn

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 10 Jan 22 - 07:44 AM

Give a man a bucket of coal and you'll keep him warm for the night. Set a man on fire and you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: gillymor
Date: 10 Jan 22 - 06:40 AM

You guys must know some pretty sophisticated hillbillies.

Someone who's crawled across the Sahara naked doesn't spend much time in a tanning booth.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 10 Jan 22 - 06:23 AM

Buy low sell high


Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Co. Ltd. ADR stock will take 2 years to get back to supplying 80% of the world's chips. Its wicked low now.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: BobL
Date: 10 Jan 22 - 03:53 AM

Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence (Hanlon's Razor).

Any sufficiently advanced incompetence is indistinguishable from malice (Grey's Law).

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Jan 22 - 01:12 PM

beware of insufficient fun

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: gillymor
Date: 09 Jan 22 - 12:46 PM

Don’t let your mouth write a check your ass can’t cash.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: gillymor
Date: 09 Jan 22 - 12:36 PM

Some men have a thousand journeys and some men have one journey a thousand times.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 09 Jan 22 - 12:23 PM

Illegitimes non carborundum

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 09 Jan 22 - 12:20 PM

Even if your willie is twelve inches long you shouldn't use it as a rule.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: gillymor
Date: 09 Jan 22 - 12:16 PM

Just because you’re paranoid it doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 09 Jan 22 - 11:59 AM

Never waste an erection.

Subject: RE: BS: Folk wisdom 2022
From: gillymor
Date: 09 Jan 22 - 11:44 AM

Be careful not to speak clearer than you think.