ADD: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown (bawdy)

Subject: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 29 Jun 23 - 02:57 PM

Down The Lane

Down the lane
Down the lane
There are lots of dirty women
Gonorrhea is rather dear
And syphilis a shilling
Soldiers half a crown
Sailors half a guinea
Big fat men two pound ten
Many dicks a penny

Spoken: I've a penny.

Transcribed from Medical Students Sing Rugby Songs LP, [1971], [Harry Morgan (compiler)], Sportsdisc Records. Sung by medical students from Bartholomew Medcial College, London.

The tune is a variant of "Ten Men Went to Mow a Meadow".

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 29 Jun 23 - 02:59 PM

I'm afraid this song is a little dated now. They've moved them all inside nowadays.
Pitty really. Another London old tradition gone to earth.

Down in Drury Lane

Down in Drury Lane
There are naughty women
Who will do whatever you like
If you've got a shilling
Soldiers half a crown
Sailors half a guinea
Big fat men, two pound ten
Little boys a penny

Transcribed from Songs for Gay Dogs LP, [1963], by Paddy Roberts.

In the first part of the song, the tune is unknown. The part "Soldiers half a crown" matches the medical student's singing.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 29 Jun 23 - 03:00 PM

SHILLING A GO
(TUNE: Three Men went to Mow)

Down in Drury Lane there are some filthy women,
You can get a bit of you know what all for a shilling.
Soldiers half a crown, sailors half a guinea,
Ordinary men two pounds ten schoolboys all a penny.

CHORUS:

Three whores walk the streets always bloody willing,
It's only a bob for a bit of knob all for a shilling.

In the Shetland Isles there are no filthy women,
You can take a leap at any old sheep all for a shilling,
NCOs two, airmen one and sixpence,
You can have a screw on the old black ewe all for a shilling.

In the Middle East there's bags of filthy women,
In the crack or up the back all for a shilling.
Frenchmen pay five francs Doughboys pay a dollar,
You can shoot your cream in the old harem all for a shilling.

Out in India there are no filthy memsahibs,
So what do the pukkah wallahs get for their shilling,
Knotholes in the floor or the hole in the elephant's bottom,
But in Calcutta you can grind in the gutter all for a shilling.

On the ocean waves there are no filthy wrens sir,
So what does poor Jack Tar get for a shilling.
Admirals keep a goat, Captains have a parrot,
But the matelot true has a grand blow through all for a shilling.

Pg 201, The Fleet Air Arm Songbook, For Private Ciculation Only,[1979].

This text is also Bawdy Ballads & Dirty Ditties of the Wartime RAF, 2000. Edited by Harold Bennett.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 29 Jun 23 - 03:02 PM

The Oldham Tinkers put this song together in 1967 from their memories of their schooldays and the play songs and rhymes they and their friends sang about teachers and other figures of authority. Here are the Oldham Tinkers singing it:    • Pounds, Shillings...

This song was requested by Kristine James.

Lyrics and chords:
D …………………………................….....…….. A7
Down at our school, teachers are so funny,
……………………………………….................................…..….. D
If tha wants to see 'em, thas have to pay some money.
…………………………….....…....................….. A7
Soldiers half a crown, sailors half a guinea,
…………………………........…................…… D
Big fat men two 'n ten, little kids a penny.
Down at our school, things are rather funny,
Kids do all the bloody work and teachers get the money.
Let thi whiskers grow, let thi whiskers grow. What's the use o' shavin'?
Pull 'em out bi the roots, they'll mek laces fer thi boots. Think o't money thas savin'.

Our sir is kind, our sir is gentle.
Our sir is strong and our sir is mental.
T' teacher at our schoo', well he goes to church on Sunday,
To pray to the Lord to give him strength to wallop us kids on Monday.

Once upon a time when birds dropped lime and monkeys chewed tobaccer
Little piggies run with their fingers up their bum to see what was the matter.
Micky Plum with a gas tar bum went rollin' down the river.
He caught his belly on a piece of jelly. It made poor Micky shiver.

A'll tell you a tale about a snail what jumped in t' fire an' burnt 'is tail.
A'll tell you another about his brother. He did the same, the silly owd bugger.

Youtube video, songs, and text found on this page:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2rY9DppanY

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 29 Jun 23 - 03:03 PM

Hillpig
Posted November 5, 2013

Down on Dixon Lane there are some dirty women
If you want a crack at them youll have to pay a shilling
Soldiers half a crown, Sailors half a Guinea
Big fat men two pound ten,
Little lads a penny.

That was the first verse to a song that used to be sung in my grandfathers pub in the east end of Sheffield. The men, and women, who sung it were steelworkers and buffers in the main, with a few colliers thrown in.

I heard it as a kid just before the war, I guess it is very old and as Dixon lane is mentioned it must be Sheffield in origin.

Posted here: https://www.sheffieldforum.co.uk/topic/377392-sheffield-folk-songs/

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 29 Jun 23 - 03:05 PM

In my own childhood I knew this kind of industrial landscape and its culture very well, and
empathize with the mixed feelings it produces – the love-hate relationship. My mother’s family was
from Preston, a mere 30 miles away, another seminal town of the Industrial Revolution. And like
Salford, Preston was initially based on the cotton industry but also had its engineering, its wood yards
and docks, back-to-back Coronation Street housing and cobbled streets as well as its own folklore –
which I know a little of. There was even a song about Marsh Lane where my mother was brought up
and where I remember her mother living in a tiny, dingy industrial terrace till she was aged and blind.

Down Marsh Lane there are some dirty women
If tha wants to kiss ‘em, tha has to pay a shilling
Soldiers half a crown, sailors half a guinea
Single men two pound ten, little kids a penny

Pg 3-4 of the script "THE BALLAD OF EWAN MacCOLL" by Sam Richards. See online here: https://static1.squarespace.com/static/601d943f3b66f8616eac3746/t/6090f10ba385900847943b0c/1620111628297/Sam-Richards-on-MacColl+%281%29.pdf

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 29 Jun 23 - 03:06 PM

Grandfather Clocks, @UKAntiqueClocks
Feb 11, 2018
The Football Match

At the bottom of our street, there is a football match and if you want to see it you have to pay a tenner, soldiers half a crown. sailors half a guinea, working men one and ten and little kids a penny.
http://antiquegrandfatherclocks.com
Would you like a ticket ?

Twitter archive here : https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:aDyF9OOzxXEJ:https://twitter.com/UKAntiqueClocks&cd=23&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-b-1-d

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 29 Jun 23 - 05:57 PM

"Soldiers half a crown, Sailors if they're willing
Big fat men, two pounds ten
Little boys a shilling.'

So the song went when I was in bellbottoms.

From Reflections on Blue Water: Journeys in the Gulf of Naples and in the Aeolian Islands, 2012 [originally published 1999], by Alan Ross

"Alan Ross" (1922-2001) was a poet, writer, journalist, editor
and publisher. In fact, he was a man of letters par excellence.
Born in India, educated in England, he joined the Royal Navy in
the Second World War and endured the Arctic convoys to Russia.

See text in google books:

https://www.google.com/books/edition/Reflections_on_Blue_Water/D9iVbFxUDn4C?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=%22soldiers+half+a+crown%22&pg=PT128&printsec=frontcover

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 29 Jun 23 - 06:06 PM

Down in Drury Lane there are some funny women;
if you want to do them you've got to pay a shilling.
Soldiers half a crown, sailors half a guinea;
big fat men two pounds ten,litte boys a penny

We All Dance to a Mysterious Tune, 2016, by Harold Salkin. Unpaginated. In the "Jokes, Recitations and Songs that We Sung in the Playground" chapter.

See google books here: https://www.google.com/books/edition/We_All_Dance_To_A_Mysterious_Tune_1st/EpCfDwAAQBAJ?hl=en&gbpv=1&dq=%22soldiers+half+a+crown%22&pg=PT31&printsec=frontcover

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 01 Jul 23 - 08:20 PM

Down in Mabbot Lane,
Lives a big fat lady,
If you want to know her name,
You have to pay a shilling,
Soldiers two and six,
Sailors two a penny,
Big fat men two pound ten,
Little kids a penny

— Traditional children’s skipping rhyme

The beginning of an article "The full Monto: A red-light district’s rise and demise" by Tony O'Reilly, posted 10 Jun 2022.

See here: https://www.independent.ie/entertainment/books/the-full-monto-a-red-light-districts-rise-and-demise/41737798.html

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 01 Jul 23 - 08:48 PM

Bombo Lane

Down in Bombo Lane
There lives a big fat woman
And if you want to know her name
You have to pay a shilling
Soldiers, two and six
Sailors, two and a penny
Big fat men two pounds ten
Little kids a penny

"Bombo Lane" Song by Ronnie Drew

See online here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q8Gy-ax8b5s

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 01 Jul 23 - 09:08 PM

Brummy Dustcart Song

This song was found in a rather wonderful book called "A Walk Down Summer Lane" by
John Douglas. Summer lane was one of the roughest back to back slum roads in
Birmingham in the early 1900's. Today we tend to ridicule the high rise blocks of flats in
Birmingham, this book provides a reminder of the awful slum conditions that they
replaced.

This song goes to the famous skiffle tune of My old mans a dustman, and was probably
sung as an addendum to the normal words.

The Corporation dustcart
Was full up to the brim
The corporation driver
Fell in and could not swim
He sank right to the bottom
Just like a lump of stone
Yo' could here the fishes singing
There ain't no place like 'ome

Down in Summer Lane
There are some dirty wimmin
If yo' want to go with them
Yo' ave ter pay a shillin
Soldiers 'alf a crown
Sailors 'alf a guinea
Big fat men, two pound ten

From the following PDF: www.willowsfolk.co.uk/archive/Brummy Dustcart Song.pdf which was retrieved 27 August 2004. The link is no longer valid.

The book mentioned in this PDF is A Walk Down Summer Land, 1977, by John Douglas. I haven't been able to verify reference in the book for the song & tune.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Jack Horntip
Date: 01 Jul 23 - 09:30 PM

Another song by the kids of Summer Lane marching behind the dustcart.
'The corporation dustcart was full to the brim;
The corporation driver fell in and couldn't swim.
He sank right to the bottom - just like a lump of stone;
You could hear the fishes singin' - ' There an't no place like home.'
They laid him on a stretcher, they laid him on a bed;
The rubbed his belly with a lump of jelly and this is what he said;
Down in Summer Lane - there are some dirty wimmin'
If you want to goowith 'em you' ave to pay a shillin'.
Soldiers'alf a crown, sailors ' alf a guinea;
Big fat men, two poun' ten, little kids a penny!'
Then with a cheering shout of 'hooray' they scattered.

Posted by townie on March 06, 2014 here: https://www.birminghamforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=11235.0

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 02 Jul 23 - 12:01 PM

'Corporation muck cart' also quoted here on Mudcat.

Slightly different words:

The corporation muck cart
Was full up to the brim.
The driver fell in backwards,
Too bad he could not swim.
He sank right to the bottom,
Just like a little stone.
And as he sank he gurgled
"There's no place like home!"

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 02 Jul 23 - 12:01 PM

There were also two workers who fell into the slurry cart. They were 'interred' together ;)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 02 Jul 23 - 12:07 PM

And as to the 'price of affection' quoted above.

Compare with the parody of 'La Donna e Mobile'

Little boys are cheap today.
Cheaper than yesterday.
Small ones are half-a-crown*,
Standing up or lying down.
Bigger ones are three-and-six*,
'Cos they've got bigger dicks.
But little boys are cheaper,
Chee-ee-ee-per to-day

*Half-a-crown = £0.125
*Three-and-six = £0.175

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 02 Jul 23 - 05:22 PM

> two workers who fell into the slurry cart

Noted as "unverified":

Here Lyeth ye body of
Martn Hyde
He fell down a Midden
and grievously Dy'd
James Hyde
his Brother
fell down another
They now lie interr'd
side by side

Fritz Spiegl (ed): A Small Book of Grave Humour. The book is a paperback, cut in the shape of a tombstone.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Down the Lane / Soldiers half a crown
From: GUEST,Snuffy
Date: 05 Jul 23 - 03:04 AM

"Our sir is kind, our sir is gentle.
Our sir is strong and our sir is mental."

"Our sir" sounds like a relation of Lady Mondegreen,
Try "our Sarah" instead.