BS: For Catspaw and others: possums

Subject: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: MudGuard
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 07:34 AM

Just stumbled over this (while searching for something completely different):
The Imperial Order of the Opossum
MudGuard

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 08:24 AM

We need a song here. I'm thinking something to the tune of "Hail Knight of the Woeful Countenance" from Man of La Mancha.

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 08:38 AM

The naked armadillo, the possum! Holy moly! I knew there was something for everybody out on the Whacky Web but I never imagined this! 'Spaw will be in clover...

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 09:21 AM

OH, that is perfect!!

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: sophocleese
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 09:24 AM

I just wonder if Spaw's approach to possums is as reverent as this site would wish. I suspect he may start at the bottom and have to work his way up.

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Troll
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 09:47 AM

Let us not disparage the noble(?) Spaw and his relationship with possums.[br]After all, everyone needs love.[br]Even Spaw.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Fortunato
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 09:52 AM

Reminds me of a question:

How many hillbillies (Texans, etc.) does it take to eat a 'possum (armadillo, etc.)?

One to eat the 'possum and two to watch for oncoming traffic.

with respect, fortunato

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:45 AM

Are we sure 'spaw didn't START this? LOL

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Ali_UK
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 11:27 AM

Ahh...it's have a go at 'Spaw time again, this is to induce his witty repartee, isn't it ? And where does Cletus fit into all this, hmmm? Well since over time we've had possum hood ornaments and the question.."Where would you blow on a possum shaped ocarina?" I firmly believe that our affectionate colleague deserves to be an honorary member of the society mentioned in this thread...so there...hm!

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 01:12 PM

They have several Ohio members who may actually be Spaw. And a Max-- could it be?????

There are great links here, one is to a site for skunks AND possums which includes photos of the month. Clearly a stealth link to a non-no site!!!

I guess now we know where to find Spaw when he isn't here. It's kinda like when the wife and the girlfriend meet, or when the shrink and the priest meet, to discuss someone they both know and love. How long do you think we can keep this up until Spaw or Cleigh find this thread?

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 01:19 PM

Now we know what kinda porn he spends his time at!

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 01:34 PM

Probly not long! Maybe we oughta just sign up Cleigh and Spaw--AND Spaw should get to be the Prez, not just an Honorary Member! Who else blows up a possums ass?

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 03:02 PM

re-hee-hee-hee-fresh!

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 03:10 PM

kat i'm going to send you an emailed JPEG and perhaps you can make a link to it for this thread. It is relevant.

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Troll
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 03:30 PM

Spaw is probably lurking out there in cyberland waiting for just the right moment to hit us with a real zinger.

cyberland? Time to up the medication. Oh nurse? Nurse?

troll

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 03:37 PM

Ummm..troll...'Spaw is acting trustee and nursing aide in this ward, and he sometimes gets confused about where hypodermics should go, as a result of his 'possum nightmares...just so you are forewarned and aftdefended.

A

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 03:41 PM

Amos, do you know how to make links to this thread from an email that has been sent to you, if so send your email address to my personal page and I will send the JPEG to you. Please do it quickly, as I am getting a migrane and am having trouble seeing the screen.

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:07 PM

Done

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:09 PM

May we all be as loved as dear Spaw and his spawn, and may we all be ready for it when it comes our turn!

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:13 PM

If you are referring to the fate of Cleigh's dorsal aperture, madam, my turn ain't coming no-how. Oral proctology is not my bag...(did I really say that?). :>)

A

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:24 PM

No! You didn't!

I think a thread with [BS], [Spaw], and [Possum] in it is reredundant, don't you?

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Max
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:41 PM

Rare breed of possom, The Striped Possom.

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:45 PM

Howling!!!

Some days you're the road stripe, some days you're the possum.

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Metchosin
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:50 PM

You beat me to it Max, I just sent a similar picture to Amos, because I didn't know how to link this thread to a JPEG, I recieved recently as an email. It's entitled "Not My Job".

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:53 PM

In north central PA we pave right over the roadkill, deer included. Only problem, now when I see that I'll have to think of poor Cleigh, getting his....

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Stewie
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 08:02 PM

On the subject of 'possums on the half-shell' and road carnage, this ditty springs to mind. The benevolent society for armadillos no doubt would feel that he got his just deserts:

THE ARMADILLO JACKAL
(Robert Earl Keen)

The evening sun was sinking down, a chill north wind it blows
The new-ploughed ground was coolin' fast, the river rolls and flows
'Neath the 2-lane river bridge between my place and town
On that hotbed farm-to-market road they call 1291
I'm sayin', sun, you'll see me searchin' - sizzlin' down that broad highway
Dollar signs in both my eyes, I'm seekin' out my prey
I'm prayin' Jesus will you send me just another three or four
They pay 2.50 down in Halletsville, 3 dollars, maybe more
And more than likely they'll be out tonight, a-wandering from the farm
Waddlin' down 1291 to keep their bodies warm
I'm talkin' walkin' boots and neckties and boots for rodeo
They don't run too fast, don't waste much gas, I'm makin' lots of dough
The armadillo – oh-oh-oh, the armadillo – oh-oh-oh

The armadillo never sees me when I hit him with my brights
His life don't pass before his eyes, he's blinded by my lights
And so I hit him with my bumper, doin' sixty, sixty-five
They take 'em frozen down in Halletsville, they don't take 'em alive
The jackal cri – ay ay – ed, the jackal cried-ay ay ay, the jackal cried
But there is two of them a-walkin' down the line
I can't believe my luck tonight, this year makes twenty-nine And so he rolled the first one runnin', the second was too fast
His brakes and lights were squealin' as he stomped down on the gas
Good God, his car was sideways flyin' when the bridge-walk met his door
The impact shook the riverbed, his hood went through the floor
Forevermore- or – or – or, forevermore – or – or – or, forevermore
Was his last moment from the bridge walk to the stream
From the speck of blood around his smile to spewin' gasoline
And then he screamed his raspy epitaph before he turned to flame
They pay 2.50 down in Halletsville, I ain't the one to blame
Ain't it a sh – a – a –a – me, the jackal cried – ay ay ay
The armadillo – oh-oh-oh, the armadillo – oh-oh-oh, the armadillo – oh-oh-oh

Copyright Robert Earl Keen, Keen Edge Music
Source: Robert Earl Keen Jr 'No Kinda Dancer' Philo CD PH 1108 PS.

--Stewie.

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 08:15 PM

I can't BELIEVE Spaw hasn't checked in here yet.........'Spaw, you have a call on the white courtesy phone.......calling all spaws, breaker,breaker,19: Buddy Spaw, you there?

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 08:18 PM

ROFL! Whatta tune. Whatta gang -- armadillos and precious chickens, and one wiseacre capuchin monkey.

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: annamill
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 08:20 PM

I just sent a possum card to 'spaw! What a wonderful site. I read some of the comments of the members and it makes me want to join and now, Honey's gonna love this, I want to get a real possum! Thank you MudGuard!

Love, annap

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Troll
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:15 PM

That pic reminded me of a thing the Forestry students here at the University of Florida do every year for their annual picnic. The afternoon before the picnic, they go out on a stretch of country road and spray every dead animal they find with yellow paint. Then, the next morning right at daylight they drive back along the same stretch of road and anything dead that hasn't got yellow paint on it is picked up. It's taken home, cleaned, and goes into a stew for the picnic. It's called "Yellow Paint Stew" and is a popular hit at the picnic.

I have been to some of their picnics and no, I didn't eat the stew. I was raised in the country and I know what possums will eat! But a lot of the students are city boys and...

troll

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:20 PM

WHERE IS SPAW???

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: GUEST,Randy W.
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:32 PM

I just found this wonderful site the other day and it's very different. I have recently started playing guitar and this place seems to have songs, but it also has much funny stuff on it too. I hate to ask, but what is the thing about opossums and who or what is Catspaw? I have seen the name in other threads and is this person a member. I saw the name again yesterday in another funny thing I was reading. Also, is Joe Offer a member here too. I just read about a website that downloaded a picture. Randy W.

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: MMario
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:37 PM

Joe Offer is a VALUABLE member - who helps with html and correction of mis-posts etc, in addition to holding the record for shortest time elapsed in responding to a post with an answer.

Catspaw, also known as 'spaw, is another member, equally valuable in many people eyes whose humour and contributions help bind this forum into a community. try putting "catspaw" into the filter and setting the time to 1 year and you will learn a lot.

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: sophocleese
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:41 PM

Yes Randy, for somebody's sins, (people are still arguing whether its their's or ours or yours or mine or Max's or Bill Gate's) they are both members. Joe Offer does useful things on the Mudcat and Spaw has a possum shaped instrument with the blowhole placed where no gentleman would ever dream of blowing. Check back a while into the Mudcat Tavern threads and you'll get the gist of it, or just continue to read and hang out and you'll understand as well. Don't hesitate to ask questions, people usually answer.

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Brendy
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 11:19 PM

There used to be a song by Flanders and Swann, I think, called "Be my darling armadillo all the day"

Anybody know it?
B.

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 11:23 PM

No, but I can do "I'm a G-nu! Agunuther G-nu! And I wish I could gunash my teeth at you!" and "Mud...Mud".

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Brendy
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 11:27 PM

THREAD CREEP:
There is a copy of 'Have some Madiera M'Dear" in the DT - brilliant song!!

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 11:28 PM

STILL NO 'Spaw?? I'll check in in the AM. G'nite, all.

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 08:03 AM

He's out there, a lone figure huddled against a cold freezing drizzly Ohio wind, wandering back and forth... lost to the warmth of all who love him, in the flatland of Ohio's roadways... searching for the poor creatures about to be desecrated by forestry students infiltrating from the wilds of Pennsylvania. He has encountered their work before! "Forestry students! Geeziz, why do they have to come to Ohio of all places? There are no forests to speak of, only mile after mile of our precious possums."

He sees a faint bulge up ahead and could it be? Sadly, yes, another possum has met its maker and although this one has not been further humiliated with paint, it is soon to be in hot water.

Lovingly he picks it up, cradling it against his chest, grieving for a world that should understand the loveliness of the possum. "Why," he muses, "couldn't the possum have been named an endangered species and protected in a possum preserve? Is there no mercy, no justice, no sense to be had in Ohio?"

Once again, as in many difficult past moments, he turns to his old friend Cleigh for answers. There is only one thing that can relieve his restles sorrow. Hoping to remember happier times past, he......

But no. CLEIGH IS NOT THERE. He has been dropped along the road! Oh no! Where? WHEN? Searching frantically, he retraces the night's steps. It had been a long night, many, many steps. "Cleigh... here CL-CL-CL-CLeigh... why won't you answer me?!" Panic rises as he realizes ther is not enough wind for Cleigh to answer for himself, no matter how desperate his straits. "What if he's been picked up by a dog? What if he's been run over by a Mack truck [screaming out of Pennsylvania carrying Pennsyvania Dutch keepsakes to brighten Ohio homes]?" What if-- OH NO-- what if the *&)*&%(&)&*(*)&)((*)$ FORESTRY STUDENTS have him???!!!???

Murderously he glares through the cold rain changing to snow changing to wintry mix, longing for the spring with Cleigh pulled close to be nuzzled and blown. Viciously, grimly, he stalks down the road, still looking, hope not entirely abandoned...

As a Forestry Department truck passes him, PA plates glinting in the pale drear of the day, screams and howls AND ANOTHER SOUND HE'S HEARD BEFORE issuing forth as it passes then fading as it arrows straight for the Ohio horizon. They have Cleigh. He's OK, but he's fallen into their clutches. He knows what he must do.

Later, back at the Forestry, terrible things are about to be done to Cleigh. They've nosed out his secrets, and they're drinking now. They start the stew pot but cannot resist applying themselves to the effort of making music with poor Cleigh's frozen, oddly misshapen brethren. "It'll work fine till they thaw!" gloats one. A possum polonaise in Pennsylvania, yet evil nonetheless!

In bursts Spaw, who has been brought by a sympathetic Mack trucker. ("You should see what they do to dogs, said he to Spaw when he told his tale.")

They....

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Micca
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 02:18 PM

Inspired by this thread and waiting for a sterilizer to do its job .....

Paen to Cleigh Tune, " My brothers are all others"
My brothers are all possums forever and a day
These little furry creatures have stole my heart away
I pine for Cleigh O'Possum tho' he is made of clay
And he's my joy unbroken until my dying day

As fur or ocarina my heart is turned to Cleigh
that possums is my soul mate and I with him must stay
and all the fame and glory Is his and his alone
And I would emulate him tho my ass is unblown

he is a mudcat icon tho small and shy and good
and even being with catspaw has not changed him to rude
his fame goes out before him we all would wish him well
and blessings on you barbara for casting this great spell

My brothers are all possums forever and a day
These little furry creatures have stole my heart away
I pine for Cleigh O'Possum, tho he is made of clay
And he's my joy unbroken until my dying day

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 02:23 PM

Great Song again Micca, you can really compose some good stuff. Catspaw will enjoy it no doubt at all..Ha ha.. Yours,Aye. Dave

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Micca
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 02:31 PM

Correction the tune is called "BECAUSE ALL MEN ARE BROTHERS" in the DT, sorry

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 04:43 PM

Hee boy!

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Áine
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 06:35 PM

I'm sure glad that a little bird told me about Micca's song, so I could put in the Mudcat Songbook.

All you possum lovers are invited to come pay us a visit on the SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8 thread -- Let's see if you can write a song about poor Violet, the chicken.

-- Áine

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 08:07 PM

Cleigh-fresh?

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: katlaughing
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 10:23 PM

For all of you who may have wondered why the Guest of Honour and his "Spaw" haven't shown up here, I just received a message from Cletus, Pa and the Reg boys, who all went on a scouting trip to find the elusive Cleigh.

It seems Cleigh has been busy administering PossumAide to his one and only "Spaw", who has been miserably suffering from a "tetch o'the flu bug wot ta rezof 'em had last week".

Cleigh assured me they would make an appearance, soon, so that they can thank you all properly for this wonderful tribute.

Besides that he heard some well-meaning soul suggest possum fat as a cure! So, he is in high gear to get Spaw back on his feet, double quick, so he doesn't get any ideas about firing a poor little old "Mud" Possum and melting him down!

Now, you all just carry on and let's make Spaw and Cleigh feel real welcome when they finally do get their sorry arses back in here!**BG**

Your humble courier,

katlaughing

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 10:34 PM

Micca that was just GREAT!!! Best to all on this thread.

So Long for Now....

Pat

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 02:32 AM

Spaw, don't you know that when you get a "tech of flu" it throws the Mudcat into a swoon like rising interest rates effect the Stock Market? Get well and get back!

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 07:27 AM

Come in to work on a Saturday, to find there's no great demand, this thread has passed a few happy minutes in my break. I bet 'Spaw is Grand Marshall of the IOOTP and leads the parade proudly with Cleigh, following the traditional yellow line.
RtS

Subject: RE: BS: For Catspaw and others: possums
From: Pinetop Slim
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 08:17 AM

Sorry for breaking from the tone of this thread, but the following poem has been begging me to post it. Consider it a get well wish to Spaw. I think the writer, James Still, had someone like him in mind when he wrote "Dulcimer":

The dulcimer sings from fretted maple throat
Of the doe's swift poise, the fox's fleeting step
And music of hounds upon the outward slope
Stirring the night, drumming the ridge-strewn way, The anvil's strength...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~and the silence after That aches and cries unhushed into the day.

From the dulcimer's breast sound hunting horns
Strong as clenched hands upon the edge of death,
The creak of saddle-bags, of oxen yoke and thongs,
Wild turkey's treble, dark sudden flight of crows,
Of unshod hoofs...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~and the stillness after,
Bitter as salt drenching the tongue of pain:

And of the lambs crying, breath of the lark,
Long drinks from piggins hard against the lips;
And with hoarse singing, raw as hickory shagbark,
The foal's anxiety is woven with the straining wedge
And the wasp's anger...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~and the quiet after
For the carver of maple on a keen blade's edge

Of