Song Challenge! Part 8

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Áine
Date: 18 Aug 01 - 12:12 PM

You know, I am enjoying the heck out of seeing the Challenge!s from the past reincarnated into brand new lives by you all! Keep 'em coming (slowly, please), but keep 'em coming!! ;-)

More 'late-but-great' awards for the latest Challenge!rs to run 'afowl' of this one:

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon (The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard with tears):

The Dawning of the Day by derrymacash


Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Two-Fer-One Coupon (The Two-Fer-One Coupon is awarded to those Challenge!rs who use two or more Challenge! topics in one song):

Who Was It Killed the Rooster by Jack the Sailor

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 10:33 AM

In answer to the Challenge, I'll try to take away two stories by combining Derry's story with two challenges. Please note that this option was not available to previous poster. this challenge is in the future.

Same tune

Who was it killed the rooster? we have to know for sure
Who was it killed the rooster? the rooster was insured
Some people in the williage have uttered dire threats
Who was it killed the rooster? we haven't caught 'em yet.

As to the hooded figure, he took the rooster home
And when it started roasting the Chanticleer came to groan
The steam passed through the voicebox and caused a mournful squak
The hooded man so guilty he thought the bird could talk

The man went to the council his guilt made him confess
Accused of evil poultrycide he was in an awful mess
Insurance man was angry said he would not pay
Unless the killer went to jail at least for ninety days

The town did not press charges or the insurance meney keep
They did not feel a hardship, gratefull for their sleep
Of this they will not speak now, not another word
For the towns folk got to sleep in and the killer got the bird

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 17 Aug 01 - 09:01 AM

A part II entry to the air of "The Dawning Of The Day"

It's four o'clock on the village green and the sky begins to glow
As the sun prepares to re-emerge, the cock prepares to crow
Strutting proudly from his roost, eyes peeled for that first ray
That ushers in fresh daylight at the dawning of the day

But unbeknownst to Chanticleer, his morning songs of praise
Awaken all the village, who, from lack of sleep are dazed
And while some quite like old Chanticleer to crow with vim and pride
Yet more would like to see that bloody chicken southern fried

And so, a hooded figure lurks beneath the willow tree
Taking aim at Chanticleer, he's on his bended knee
And as the rooster takes a breath to greet the rising sun
The hooded figure pulls the trigger of his silenced gun

No more Chanticleer will rouse us with his cock-a-doodle-doo
There's been an air of sadness 'bout the place this day or two
But I hear that the village shop has done well from the shock
For there's a sign up in the window "Sold out of alarm clocks"

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Áine
Date: 20 Feb 00 - 10:20 AM

******************SONG CHALLENGE! WINNERS*******************

Here we go -- the Winners of the SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8 are --

Winner of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon:
Flight Of The Chicken by Amos

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster:
Exponential Blarney by Bert
Violet At Dawn by Troll

Thanks to all entrants and good luck on the next CHALLENGE! -- It's a doozy

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Metchosin
Date: 20 Feb 00 - 02:18 AM

well if you were imagining things Áine then so was I, one moment I thought I was talking to bert on a thread and the next time I looked it was cubaJoe and then later It was bert again.....the plot thickens.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 00 - 01:53 AM

Refr...

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Áine
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 11:23 AM

Come LEJ, kat, some of you other 'Catters -- You've had beaucoups of time to come up with some great stuff -- So, let's see it!!!

And was I imagining things yesterday, or did 'cubaJoe' become 'bert' overnight?? And is 'bert' our own and beloved 'Bert' of Plastic Flowers fame?? Is this a new Mudcat Mystery?? Who is this 'bert' fella anyway???

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 19 Feb 00 - 02:46 AM

Me chicken has died
Tis sad but tis true
Her name it was Violet
But now I just calls her Stew

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Troll
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 10:34 PM

Aine; yes it is a ballad, sung to the tune of "Violets Of Dawn".

troll

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Áine
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 06:24 PM

This SONG CHALLENGE! will remain open until tomorrow night -- I just know that there are still many Mudcatters out there just dying to write a song about a chicken!!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Áine
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 01:45 PM

Dear Troll,

Am I correct in assuming that your song is ballad? You'll have 'em cryin' in the aisles, with that one. Great job!

OK, miss kat -- It's your turn to finish the lovely ditty that you started somewhere up there in these posts! It's a great beginning, now let's see what else you've got up your sleeves!! (double dawg dare ya...)

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 12:34 PM

I wouldn't say you needed to aplogize at all, troll! Hope I can get the tune to it.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Troll
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 12:30 PM

Violet At Dawn

In the little town of Flinchingfield there lived a hen one Violet by name.

A pert Rhode Island Red her presence helped to give the little village fame.

She'd daily preen her feathers in the mirror at the village antique store.

But she doesn't preen them now because you see poor Violet isn't any more.

She used to sit upon a shelf down at the local public house each day.

And decorate the floor beneath her perch but that is just a chickens way.

She'd scratch for bugs around the village monument,a lofty cross of stone.

But thats all in the past my friends because you see poor Violet is gone.

The village council met to talk about this chicked problem in the town.

A member yelled "He'd wring her neck" then swore it was a joke and sat back down.

And Violet kept on scratching never guessing what cruel future lay in store.

But thats all in the past and gone because poor Violet isn't any more.

T'was early in the morning as the sun arose upon yhat fateful day.

Her owners drank their morning tea and then, before they started on their way.

They went out to unlock her coop so Violet's life of freedom could go on. And they found her lifeless body lieing stiff and still and cold as any stone.

They tried to find the killer but he'd done the deed and left no trace and gone.

The police investigated but there were no clues to base an arrest on.

The story made the papers but it's months now and the mystery lingers on.

And in Flinchingfield no ones admitting knowing who killed Violet at dawn.

With profound apologies to Eric Andersen

troll

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 12:16 PM

Hah: Á Á Á Á Á Á Á Á Á Á Á Á

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 12:13 PM

Dang...it isn't recognising the ampersand right.Á should be the same as Á but isna. Dang...

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 12:10 PM

I had it wrong...try this version:

´A;ine,

This should show the acute A.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 12:08 PM

Well, so much for that theory.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 12:07 PM

´A;ine,

I think the reason it didn't show the char was a missing semicolon after the specila char (´A)string.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Bert
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 11:49 AM

That sounds good

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Áine
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 10:15 AM

Dear Bert,

You didn't give a title for your song. How's about 'Exponential Blarney'?

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 09:41 AM

Nice job, Bert! I hoot with laughter in your general direction (IHWLIYGD)! I wimped out and took the path of the chicken.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Áine
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 09:28 AM

Well done, Bert! At least somebody liked the 'original' challenge. Will we be hearing your masterpiece on the Mudcat Radio next week? Please? Thank you, Mr. B.

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Bert
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 09:25 AM

back to the original challenge.

If you go to Ireland
and you have a tale to tell
Well they'll tell you a couple back
And tell 'em twice as well

Chorus... For two to one's the deal me lads
the best you've ever known
for everyone in Ireland
has kissed the Blarney Stone.

Now yu've got three stories
You're really in a fix
If you tell 'em to a friend me boys
He'll come back with six.

Chorus...
Now you've got nine stories
and as sure as Ireland's green
You tell 'em to a neighbour
and he'll tell you eighteen

Chorus.
Now I've twenty seven stories
and if I tell them to you
You'll have to tell me fifty four
before this day is through

Chorus.
And if you keep telling stories
As you go from door to door
You'll have fifty million stories
that you've never heard before.

Chorus.

Bert.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Áine
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 09:20 AM

Hey mehitabel,

Did you get my 'drafted' message yesterday?

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 12:41 AM

Wow.

Man.

I'm stunned,

Wow....

It's got everything in it. Even those guys with the ray guns! And f...ts.

I yield me, fair Texas gal.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Áine
Date: 18 Feb 00 - 12:32 AM

Here ya go -- Like I said, I hope everyone knows the tune to 'Big Spender' from Sweet Charity:

Hey There, Violet!

The moment she scratched on the green,
I could see she was a social misfit,
Rhode Island Redhead,
Strutting free range,
Tail held high,
Oh, how'd I love to get that chicken into a pie!

Down at the pub, all me mates,
Talking big about the deed,
They'd do her right!
Hey there, Violet,
How's about a ride tonight?

Me and me mate, Jack, got thinkin',
'Bout the way we'd split the fee, five big ones,
A great long bender,
No sqawkin' -
Real refined,
Wouldn't ya like to know what went on then in our minds?

Out we went to the van,
Beer and whiskey, we were
Just a little tight,
Hey there, Violet,
How'd ya like to fly tonight?

Up the lane to the cross,
Past the buses with the Yanks in blue jeans,
Real big spenders,
Two fingers in the wind,
Jack turned the wheel too quick
Corr - what happened then!

Past the pub and the landlord,
Around again with us, and
There's our girl in view,
THUMP - we got Ruby,
Violet, the next one's for you!

Well, we got half from the council,
With the other half to come because we'd
Only got one,
Hey Jack-o,
Give me the keys,
Eight shots 'neath me belt, I can drive her with ease.

Up to the coop on our tiptoes,
And that's when the horrid
Call of Nature came,
Stand back Jack-o,
This lad is goin' to flame!

How could we know, dear Inspector,
That the chick was sleeping close to the window,
An instant broiler!
No marks, but,
Pure french-fried,
I'm grassin' on my Jack-o, but I know it's my hide

Up with me pants, in an instant,
Thought we saw the bobbies' lights
Comin' up the lane,
'Struth, Inspector,
It nearly blew me brain!

Out of the glow they came struttin'
With their little ray guns aiming straight at
Me little pinhead,
Feathers ruffled, tails held high,
Thought it was the death of me,
I can't tell a lie!

To this day, dear Inspector,
When I hear the fateful
Crowin' at the dawn,
I'm in the garden,
And peckin' at the lawn!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:11 PM

Ahhh woe....I thought it was the best I'd ever done, little suspecting that the judge herself was in the lists and tilting at me. But I like it anyway. And I am sure ASCII391-ine's entry will have me rolling in the aisles. I look forward to it, even though I guess entering a contest in which a Goddess is contending is historically viewed as crass and stupid hubris. Ahhhhhh woe.....(aside: jes' give 'em hayull, Tex!)

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Áine
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 09:40 PM

Hey!! Don't be patting yourself on the back prematurely there, Amos me boy -- you haven't seen my entry yet!

I do hope everyone knows the tune to 'Big Spender' from the Broadway show Sweet Charity -- after I get the supper dishes in the sink and the kids in bed . . .

I'll be back . . .

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 08:44 PM

I saw that, Sorcha, what's a cathedral without a gutterspout, eh? Best to ignore IMO! Oh and thanks, IE rules!

Amos, you've done it again! I love it! I think we submit it to the paper in her town, but I am not sure they'd print it! Or maybe Shambs knows someone who would play it at teh pub, oh, not that wouldn't work. The pub owner might've done the dastardly deed!

Oh, well,s end 'em a CD!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 08:20 PM

katl--shows up Just Fine on my monitor, I use IE.Hang in there, gal. BTW, garg is back, just slammed me again, it's funny.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 08:07 PM

Flight of the Chicken

(Tune: Nell Flaherty's Drake)

Oh, I'm called Missus  Flight,which you ought to spell right,
And I live North of London, out Finchingfield way,
IAnd I bought a pet hen we named Violet O' Glenn,
For me daughter to have when she wanted to play.

'Twas a Rhode Island Red with the prettiest head,
I would give up my bed just to keep her around,
So much we did love her, there was no-one above her,
That we went and insured her for two million pounds.

This chicken mavourni'n all heads soon was turning
She took over the pub, sir, and half of the town
Now I call down the curses on Flight, Collar and Burgess
Or the erratic stranger who ran my bird down.

The sweet little chick had a beak that was thick
She was friends with the ducklings from the far side of town
But thanks to vile Paviour there was no one could save her
When some villain decided to take me chick down.

May his laws never pass, may the frost nip his ass,
In drastic depression may his businesses fail,
May his drafts always bounce, may his cats never pounce,
May the Council reject him and clap him in gaol!

May busloads of trippers, with mama's and nippers,
Come trample his dahlias , make his pacemaker click,
May a foreclosure lease cause the rapid decease
Of the monster who murdered my beautiful chick!

May his pecker stay limp and his wife be a blimp
And his son be a wimp with a cross-threaded dick
May his Sundays be stormy and overdraft warnings
Stack up on his doorstep in piles deep and thick.

May the tourist-trade swells with their antiquéd bells
Harass him to hell with a suit for lost trade
May his house lose its power, his watch lose an hour,.
His daughter her flower an' his soul lose its shade!

May his landlord be snide, and likewise his bride
And his best hand-grown roses blow up and away;
May his checks be rejected, his phone disconnected
And his dam'd PDA start to write en Francais

 May his groin spring a sprain, may his picnics all rain
May his guilt like a lance burn a hole in his head
May he spavine his back and be tortured and racked
By hemorrhoid pain,  as he  lies in his bed

May his friends borrow money, his jokes not be funny,
HIs dog turn a traitor and leave him alone,
May his appetite jade and his draperies fade,
May his wife turn to ice and his mistress to stone!

Now, I'm done with my cursin, for I'm not a hard person
And I've always believed we should live and let live,
And things are much brighter since the damned underwriter
Agreed to the sum the insurance should give.
So it's me and my Harry to the far Baleares,
No more we will tarry in the cold and the fog
And that hen-killing wank, well, I'll send him my thanks
For getting us out of that Finchingfield bog!

 

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 05:37 PM

Well, I always thought Acutein was apropos, just wanted to make sure I knew who was who. Didn't want to step on any Norman toes...

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 05:24 PM

I am telling you guys! It shows up correctly on my version of the Mudcat!! Now, &-A-acute-ine, you can go on being cute, anyway, but you all need to get your Browsers checked, take 'em to the eye doctor or something! And, besides, &-A-acute-ndres never says his looks fuuny, so there!

Oh, Violet was a hen they say-o
Who liked to sit upon the shelf
But, if you checked you might find out
The pullet, he was gay-o!

A rogue at that, this naughty "hen"
Attracted all the tourists
They'd come for naught but pictures clear
Of the the molter who'd left his pen-o!

Arrggghhhh...more later perhaps, or someone can add to it!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:45 PM

May his sow never litter, may the rats eat his mail... Bad cess to the robber, be he drunk or sober, who has wantonly murthered Nell Flaherty's ...chicken!

Somehow it just ain't the same...

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Áine
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:12 PM

Now Amos, you leave miss kat alone -- I just love being 'cute' all the time!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: MMario
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:06 PM

And sexism rears it's ugly head in the song challenge. Just 'cuz violet was a hen, shouldn't mean that a song can't be about a rooster, or for that matter a capon or a pullet! Branching out into drakes and ganders would be a bit much, though Violet DID hang out with waterfowl. And I can't believe they are complaining about 1 chicken when they admit they had ducks on the village pond. Do you know how messy those birds are? foul fowl!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: The Shambles
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:04 PM

No knowledge of said rooster. Honest.

It wasn't very bright. It was a Little Read Rooster.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:03 PM

I'll bet that's just stoopid ole NEtscape that shows it that way! On IE it looks exactly as it should!!**BG**

So glad you see the efficacy of prevaricating, now...go to it!

katLOL (remember, lowercase "k")

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 03:55 PM

Kat,

Vacillation is my forte.

And why do you keep writing to Acuteaine? Would that be Eleanor of Acuteaine?

:>),

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 03:52 PM

No, Áine, I should have sent you this one for a later challenge. I think we can vacillate betwixt the two, eh, fellahs? Whaddya say?

Oh, and Amos? Violet was a girl chicken, so no rogue roosters, okay?**BG**

Shambs, were you acquainted, then, with the deceased?*smile*

have fun,

kat

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Áine
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 03:02 PM

Dear kat,

I don't mind at all sharing the CHALLENGE! ideas. Yours is a hoot!

Y'all just forget about my challenge and use kat's. I'll just save my idea for another time.

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: The Shambles
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 03:01 PM

The Fox used to be my local!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 02:46 PM

LOL! The Rogue Rooster of Finchingfield! If I wasn't up to my hip pockets in aholes and alligators I would write it right now.

These, though, are two very different challeneges. Aine's is much harder...being abstract. Well, let me ponder a while. Tough jumps, guys.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 02:34 PM

Oh, Áine! I had one I was going to suggest the following:

Village Wonders Who Killed Chicken
By Sue Leeman
Associated Press Writer
Wednesday, Feb. 16, 2000; 1:36 p.m. EST

FINCHINGFIELD, England –– Who sent Violet, a fowl insured for $1.5 million, to the great chicken coop in the sky?

The residents of this picture-pretty village northeast of London have been wondering ever since the bird, a bumptious Rhode Island Red who strutted for years among the ducks by the village pond, was found dead one chilly day in December.

Could it be the pub landlord, who disliked the way Violet fluttered around his customers? Or one of the village councilors, allegedly heard planning to wring Violet's neck after locals complained she was ruining the garden around the war memorial? Or perhaps the stranger seen driving erratically in a van?

Suspicions of fowl play abound.

Though Violet's owners had insured the 4-year-old bird's life for $1.5 million after the alleged death threat, no one has been accused of birdicide.

Paula Flight, 35, who bought Violet and her sister, Ruby, as pets for her daughter, believes the chicken may have been done in by an enemy.

Although Violet had "not a mark on her" when she was found dead outside her pen Dec. 3, Flight says "someone had to undo the catch and take her out."

Fox Pub landlord Mike Paviour denies any wrongdoing, but readily admits he's pleased Violet will no longer perch on a shelf in his 17th-century inn.

Violet, who had the run of the place during the years Flight and her husband managed the pub, used to, well, relieve herself everywhere, Paviour notes, "and our customers didn't like it. Also, it wasn't very hygienic."

Members of Finchingfield Parish Council also protest their innocence. Chairman Edwin Collar concedes a councilor threatened to wring the bird's neck once, but insists "it was a facetious remark."

"I'm sorry the chicken has passed away," he says.

The problem began when somebody complained Violet was disturbing bark arranged around the plants under the stone cross memorial to wartime dead on Finchingfield's village green.

The matter came up at the next parish council meeting, attended by Flight, who recalls, "One councilor shouted, 'I'll wring its bloody neck.' Then they discussed who would do the dastardly deed."

"It didn't sound like a joke," she adds.

Finchingfield resident Simon Burgess, who arranged to insure Violet's life through the London firm Grip, says the policy – with an annual premium of $1,680 – will pay out only if Flight can prove Violet was killed and eaten by councilors or, in a bizarre fillip added by the insurers, abducted by aliens.

Flight submits that Violet, who features in a local artist's daubs of the village, did no harm and even attracted visitors to Finchingfield. The bird had to wander free because she became so stressed behind bars that her feathers fell out, her owner says.

Ruby was run over and, not long ago, someone tried to kill Violet the same way, Flight says. She believes the driver of a van deliberately aimed his vehicle at Violet, who managed to scoot between the wheels.

With its tall white windmill, Norman church and timbered town hall, Finchingfield receives busloads of tourists during much of the year.

Now, it's making headlines because of the death of a chicken.

Peter Curry, owner of the local antiques center, where Violet preened daily in front of a mirror, is tickled at the attention from journalists as far away as Israel, Brazil, Australia and Germany.

"Someone from America asked me, 'What is it with you Brits and chickens?'" he recalls. "And I replied, 'You have drive-by shootings – we have rogue chickens.'"

© Copyright 2000 The Associated Press

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8
From: Áine
Date: 17 Feb 00 - 12:34 PM

I'm back! This CHALLENGE! is based on an old Irish proverb:

He who comes with a story to you will bring two away from you

Now, CHALLENGE!RS, go and have a good think on this one -- I'm expecting great things from all of you (as usual!).

-- Áine