Song Challenge! Part 22

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: kendall
Date: 22 May 03 - 07:35 PM

Alas, poor Pullet, I knew him. I TOLD YOU NOT TO CROSS THE ROAD!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: SharonA
Date: 19 Nov 01 - 12:31 PM

Challenge!rs, I've just gotta tell ya: Last night I watched a tongue-in-cheek documentary on television, on PBS (Public Broadcasting Service), called "The Natural History of the Chicken." There were some factoids about chickens and several "heartwarming" stories... including the story of Mike the Rooster!

They showed Mike's picture (with his head in a jar), a picture of Floyd and Clara Olsen, a view of the Olsen farm, newspaper clippings about Mike and postcards and photos of the places Mike had toured. They also showed a few of the hate-mail letters the Olsens had received about keeping Mike alive! They interviewed Lloyd's grandson as well as several of Lloyd's old friends (who referred to him as Oley). No reference to the 5K race, however. They showed poor Lloyd and Clara's grave so, alas, they're not around to enjoy our songs about them. According to the documentary, they didn't enjoy much of an income from Mike's celebrity, either (just enough to pay for a tractor and to pay off part of their land), though apparently they had expected to make a real "killing" from the non-killing. BTW, their version of Mike's death is that he frequently coughed up mucus and would gag on it until it was removed with an eyedropper; on the night of his demise, his promoter had forgotten to bring along the eyedropper and, when Mike gagged on his mucus, he died before another eyedropper could be found.

If you don't get a chance to see this documentary, you can order a VHS tape of it from PBS (their phone number for orders is 800-PLAY-PBS). It's amusing enough, and it was fun to see one of Áine's Challenge!s featured!!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 30 Aug 01 - 04:09 PM

Fowl are just funny. I am sure that is why Aine uses them!

Ducks are funny
Chickens are funny
Geese are funny
Turkeys are VERY funny

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: SharonA
Date: 30 Aug 01 - 03:44 PM

Toilets and animal poop, too, of course...

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: MMario
Date: 30 Aug 01 - 03:30 PM

ssshhhhhhhhh! Look - do you really want to upset TGG with implications she has a fowl fetish? Besides, pigs and monkeys have both had multiple appearences

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: SharonA
Date: 30 Aug 01 - 02:27 PM

Mike and his head, reunited in the hereafter... I love a story with a happy ending!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 30 Aug 01 - 06:11 AM

What is it with Song Challenge! and fowl?

This one's to the tune of "Galway Bay".

You've heard no doubt of Nell Flaherty's Drake
And The Ducks Of Magheralin
A Nightingale Sang In Berkeley Square
(And I wished it would cease its oul' din)
Birds of such note that several folk
Were moved to devote them a lay
But none could compare with the rooster so rare
That was hatched in the USA

There was never a hint as he hatched from the egg
That he'd ever stand out from the flock
He strutted and cackled, fluttered and peckled
Like any oul' farmyard cock
But shortly he proved that alone of his brood
He came from wonderful stock
And that minus his head, he wasn't yet dead
A few miles still left on his clock

With no beak or neck, the bird couldn't peck
But we soon learned to inject
His chicken food (albeit dilute)
Into his gullet direct
And so he survived, grew plumper and thrived
For some months in excess of a year
And everyone heard of this fabulous bird
And the crowds flocked from far and near

But death it came like a thief in the night
As we had been warned was the way
And called for our friend, and snuffed out his light
And carried his soul far away
And in paradise, he has got back his eyes
His beak, and his fine wattles too
From this day on, each celestial dawn
Breaks to his cock-a-doodle-doo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 27 Aug 01 - 10:42 PM

This is of course not my first shot at this one. I also wrote of poor mike in one of those combo challenges. But Of course, such a positive roll model deserves a song of his own.

I Can Get On Without My Head

B.J. Chicken

I Can Get On Without My Head
I'm not like an-y other Ro-ad I-land red
I'm not scared a bit
I Can Get On Without My Head, I'm not sqwakin'

So I just did me some talkin' to old Lloyd
And I said what he did it wasn't great
Decapitate
Those raindrops are fallin' down my throat, they keep fallin'

But I'm on TV Now
The Guiness folks came to greet me and to feed me
But why'd the farmer have to go de- beak me

My neck ain't the same without a head
But I have avoided the day I came to dread
Fryin's not for me
Cause, Olsen is gonna do OK by displayin'
Not for free
He'll be chargin' a fee

It won't be long till Letterman he stupid pets me
I do alright without a head
But that doesn't mean I wouldn't want a hen in bed
Sex is not for me
But I'm never gonna grow a brain by complainin'
To have Chickee
You know I gotta see me

Big finish with trumpets!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Jul 00 - 08:23 AM

Don't know how I missed this one, BUT, Tom, I used to live in Fruita, Colorado!!! As always...I love your songs!! LMAO!!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Áine
Date: 17 Apr 00 - 10:12 AM

**********************THE WINNERS (WHO USED THEIR HEADS!)*******************

Well, I was certainly impressed with the entries in the headless chicken contest! Congrats, Cudos and Thanks again to everyone who entered a song -- You all are definitely getting good at this -- The new Challenge! will be coming up later today, so stay tuned -- and it will positively be a change of pace...

-- Áine

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon:
Fruita Roosta' by Spider Tom
Headless In Honolulu by Hyperabid
Immortality by Bradypus
Mike's Head Is Gone by GreatGoo
Mike The Cock by MMario

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Áine
Date: 16 Apr 00 - 10:37 AM

Way to go Spider Tom and Bradypus!! Ring that bell! You guys are great -- I like chicken pie!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 15 Apr 00 - 11:47 PM

Positively brilliant, Bradypus!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Bradypus
Date: 15 Apr 00 - 07:23 PM

Excellent, Spider Tom!

To the Tune of 'When I'm Sixty-Four', by Lennon and McCartney
Immortality

When I was younger I lost my head
Many years ago
The way that the axe hit me, I should have been dead
My body didn't want to know
Rush about the yard with my chest puffed out
Proud as proud can be
Seems like I'd found it, no doubt about it
Immortality

Life is much different, without a head
Now I cannot crow
There are compensations for a headless cock
Owner takes me round for a show
Scraping the barnyard, can't eye the chicks
Headless, I can't see
I know you need me, how will you feed me?
Immortality

Ev'ry morning I'd be fed and groomed and cleaned and looking swell
Then we'd hit the road
People came to view
Ah, they wondered, where's the trick
What a how to do.

Then the time came when my luck ran out
Good times were all gone
In the motel sadly my last life was spent
Choking on a grain of corn
Scythes and scrap iron, sickles and blades
Statue for all to see
I hold the record, live without neck cord
Immortality

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Mbo
Date: 15 Apr 00 - 06:53 PM

Spidey--I keep tellin' ya...MUDCAT RADIO, MAN!!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Amos
Date: 15 Apr 00 - 02:45 PM

Wow ... that's downright classic, Spider Man! Great workup -- just great!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Spider Tom
Date: 15 Apr 00 - 01:55 AM

Here's another for the song challenge this one is

FRUITA ROOSTA'

The fowl yard, screamed in silence,
The hens all dressed in black,
Cause Mick their favourite rooster,
Was heading for the sack,
Farmer slept in once too often,
Micks neck was for the chop,
With twenty hens to wait upon,
Mick couldn't sleep enough.

The axeman was Lloyd Olsen,
He was a Fruita farmer,
Fruita was a country town,
Down in Colorada',
Lloyd, a thorough killer,
Stretched the rooster's neck,
Straight across the chopping-block,
Mick, a nervous wreck.

The angry axe it glistened,
In the mourning sun,
If anything, be merciful,
The axe was not the one,
So little time to crow, thought Mick,
So little time to live,
The sharp blade kissed, the chopping-block,
Mick felt his old neck give,

The red blood washed his feather down,
His work-wings gave a flap,
Soon enough, he'd be picked up,
And plucked upon a lap,
Soon enough to breath his last,
Soon enough to die,
And he could only gurgle,
He couldn't even cry.

Death comes in creeping seconds,
God lets you stretch, your last,
If death would be more merciful,
It would come on fast,
Last moments stretched to minutes,
The farmer held his breath,
Was he looking at a miracle,
Was this some "voodoo-fest?"

Lloyd reached ,and scooped the wounded bird,
And clutched him, to his chest,
Would he ever see another one,
So tough to be the best?
No beak to feed, just tube to breath,
No sight, no taste, what brain.
Yet still the chicken, lingered on,
The farmer shared his pain.

So easy you can turn your back,
So easy when it's quick,
Twixt' life and death a moment,
Won't make a conscience prick,
Next, Olsen with an eyedropper,
Feeds Mick food through the neck,
And charges 'round the country fairs,
To show, the nervous Mick.

Lloyd Olsen lived infamously,
The people always paid,
To look upon this headless bird,
They'd look then drift away,
Thinking those immortal thoughts,
That men so love to breed,
But Mick the rooster, up and died,
Chokeing on a seed.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Hyperabid
Date: 14 Apr 00 - 09:32 AM

I could start a new politcal campaign...

Better Droll tha Dole...

Hyp

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Áine
Date: 14 Apr 00 - 09:26 AM

MMario -- You're absolutely right about the seasonings . . . My favorite recipe for chicken is called 'Stupid Chicken'. See, you can even do wonderful things with a 'dumb' one!

Hyp -- Very droll, my dear, very droll. Said I couldn't wear a tie -- this evokes some very strange pictures in my mind . . . Well done!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Hyperabid
Date: 14 Apr 00 - 09:13 AM

MMario

I still think rhyming throat and emote takes the all time golden cow chip award for ingenuity under fire!

Good song m8!

Hyp

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: MMario
Date: 14 Apr 00 - 09:07 AM

"the things you guys can do with a chicken"? My Dear, it's all in the seasoning...and always moist heat, never dry...

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Hyperabid
Date: 14 Apr 00 - 04:49 AM

Well what about this for a first go...

Headless in Honolulu

To the tune of If – Bread / E.Gates

If you open up the news today you'll find a sight to see
A shoulder shot of me – my head's not there you see
If a face could launch a thousand ships I couldn't launch a thing
There's nothing I can say – I have no mouth – It's quite trying

Let all this fame and fortune pass me by
I'd trade it all for one glass eye

I survived the trip to supper as an amputee most strange
I nipped out from the range – From the onion, the sage
I found myself a little shorter – just a few inches less high
Told the diners I would fly – Said I couldn't wear a tie

But in the end my life – it was snuffed out
It's hard to chew – when they chopped you – apart

(Mushy synthesiser bit to end with singer staring earnestly into camera)

Hyp

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: sophocleese
Date: 13 Apr 00 - 08:45 PM

Alas poor Mike I knew him well...

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Áine
Date: 13 Apr 00 - 08:43 PM

MMario -- Wunnerful, wunnerful song! My favorite line: But by God, that headless rooster could emote!. Great stuff -- my goodness, the things you guys can do with a chicken! *BG* I'm impressed!!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Áine
Date: 13 Apr 00 - 08:40 PM

Mike The Knife
(Tune: Mack The Knife; with intense apologies to Kurt Weill and Bertol Brecht!)

Oh the knife was sharp and swift, dear
And ole Mike's head toppled off
Well, he jumped up and tried to crow, dear
But all that came out was a cough!

Ole Farmer Lloyd was just amazed, dear
When Headless Mike he got up and walked
That ole lightbulb glowed bright above him
He could use Mike to make a buck!

First he hauled Mike up to the college, dear
Where the profs there pronounced him 'real'
Into Life mag, then to the Guinness book
That just increased Mike's appeal!

In Arizona - a cheap motel room
Poor ole Mike's doom, it was sealed
When he choked on a big kernel
Farmer Lloyd fried him in corn meal!

Now Headless Mike's name it was lost, dear
More than fifty years had gone by
When the mayor of Fruita C-O
Had a brainstorm, that's no lie!

Now old Mike has his own party
And a race named after him
Farmer Lloyd spins in his grave, dear
His chance to cash in is pretty slim!

Henny Penny, Foghorn Leghorn
Fry up crispy, nice and brown
Oh the line forms on the right, dear
Now that Mike is back in town!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: MMario
Date: 13 Apr 00 - 04:55 PM

Mike the Cock
- to the tune of "Anne Bolyn"

In Fruita Colorado, one fine night
They say a Rooster walks (as if we care!)
He had a brief encounter with a knife
And thus he lost his head, but not his life!
Yes sir, he was a-going into stew....
But now I tell you what he's gonna do....

Chorus:
With his head off, bouncing 'round the yard
He struts and walks around
With his head off, nowhere to be found
Since that awful hour!

For eighteen months old Mike he hung around
Just breathing through the hole atop his throat
He could not crow or make another sound
But by God, that headless rooster could emote!

Chorus

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 13 Apr 00 - 04:29 PM

Greatgoo's song is really a parody of "Poor Jud is Dead,", not "John". Which is irrelevant. It's a great idea!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Áine
Date: 13 Apr 00 - 03:34 PM

Way to GreatGoo!! I can tell that you're a Contender! That's a great song -- and I love the parody on Poor John Is Dead!

Amos -- Ah come on, you can spare a few minutes for ole Mike! You've a good start there -- come on and finish it!!

Praise -- You've got a great start there, too! So, just refer to the paragraph above addressed to Amos...

You guys are really wonderful Challenge!rs! I can't wait to see what the others come up with!! *BG*

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Apr 00 - 03:16 PM

I'll go for the cheap shot, as it is still open, and anyone who wants to add verses, jump right on in!

I HAD A ROOSTER

I had a rooster and the rooster pleased me,
I planned to eat him while I watched TV.
His little neck went slit, slit slit!
His little head went bounce, bounce bounce!
His little body in the pot did fit!
His little feathers went flounce, flounce flounce!
The little rooster went gurgle-urgle-urgle,
urgl-ee burbl-ee shlurbl-tee-hee.

You get the idea. Change it any way you like. Call me derivative! It's a tradition!

~S~

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: GreatGoo
Date: 13 Apr 00 - 02:26 PM

Mike's Head Is Gone
(Sung to "Poor John is Dead" from the musical "Oklahoma")

Mike's head is gone
Poor Mike's head is gone
His skull it lies upon the ground
(Upon the ground)
His beak is gone, and so's his eye
He'll never make a rooster cry
Now that Mike's head is gone

Mike's head is gone
Though he lives on
You don't your mind to get ahead
(To get ahead)
He's in the black, an on a tour
Alas his thoughts are in the sewer
And poor old Mike's head is gone

Mike's head is gone
Left on the lawn
In Fruita where lead a thoughtless life
(A thoughtless life)
His legacy was bound by corn
For fifty years he has been mourned
And now poor Mike's gone to pot

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 00 - 01:38 PM

This one has very wide possibilities. The implications of the headless rooster conjure up images of ann Boleyn on the tower at midnight, and some really interesting metaphysical assertions that could be made about such an animule.

And there's the booster type songs on these lines:

You gotta run like you ain't got no head
You gotta sing like you ain't got no feet
You gotta sleep like you ain't got a bed
And live each day like it's a week...

Doubt I'll have time to enter the lists and joust on this great challenge but it is first rate!

A

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 22
From: Áine
Date: 13 Apr 00 - 12:25 PM

This Challenge! speaks (ha!) for itself:

That's One Scrappy Rooster! -- For 18 months in the 1940s, it seemed as if Mike the headless chicken might be immortal. Now he's being immortalized in a 4-foot metal sculpture to be stuck in a planter on a downtown corner in his hometown of Fruita, Colorado. The 300-pound replica of Mike was made using ax heads and hay-rake teeth, along with sickle blades and other cutting objects. "I made him proud-looking and cocky," said the artist, Lyle Nichols, a Fruita native.

The rooster belonged to Fruita farmer Lloyd Olsen, who planned to put Mike into the cooking pot and lopped off his head at the base of the skull to leave as much of the tasty neck as possible. But Mike just fluffed up his feathers -- although he could only go through the motions of pecking for food, and when he tried to crow, a gurgle came out. But he was still alive the next morning. Olsen started putting feed and water directly into Mike's gullet with an eyedropper.

Mike lived for 18 months, making it into Life magazine and the Guinness Book of World Records, and was a popular attraction until he choked to death on a corn kernel in an Arizona motel while on tour.

Fruita officials dug up his story last spring when they were looking for something besides pioneers to focus on for Colorado Heritage Week. That led to the first Mike the Headless Chicken Festival. In addition to food (fried chicken) and music, this year's festival is scheduled to feature "The Run Like A Chicken With Your Head Cut Off 5K."

Go For It, Challenge!rs!!

-- Áine