BS: totally non-music; Milestones

Subject: RE: BS: totally non-music; Milestones
From: Naemanson
Date: 07 Oct 00 - 09:26 AM

Micca, there is sometimes no difference in the pride and responsibility you feel whether the child involved is your own or a "pseudo-daughter". Welcome to the world of responsible parenthood.

Subject: RE: BS: totally non-music; Milestones
From: Micca
Date: 07 Oct 00 - 11:18 AM

Thanks, Naemanson, after 40+ years we are just getting really comfortable with each other...!!!***BG***

Subject: RE: BS: totally non-music; Milestones
From: Morticia
Date: 07 Oct 00 - 11:33 AM

As that pseudo- daughter, I can honestly say you did a pretty good job there, oh uncle mine.....I turned out great *BG*!!
Wyo, thank-you , that was exactly what I needed and made so much sense.......I'm not quite ready to let go her training wheels completely but I know she can ride the bike.....and some of me is exultant and a lot of me is...well, what do I take care of next? My darling Gomez is helping me to come to terms with the possibility that it's me.

Subject: RE: BS: totally non-music; Milestones
From: WyoWoman
Date: 11 Oct 00 - 01:40 AM

Yeah, it's still a bit disorienting to me to realize that I don't have to consider anyone else now when I make my decisions re. where to live, what to do, where to go on vacation -- except for Bob Dog, and he doesn't much like to go where there are fleas or where he has to ride in one of those crate-thingies...

It's cool -- don't get me wrong -- but it's odd. I lived so completely for those two for so long, and when I was married I lived so much for him or certainly so much considering his wishes in all things. Now that I don't have to ask anyone anything and can just up and go to New Mexico for a few days or go to San Francisco or Seattle whenever I can get the money together and the time, it's ... disorienting. Part of me still keeps looking around for someone to consult.

And Naemanson, I had one of those moments, too, when I got my son his first dependable car -- he was 17 and my daughter was 12 and every year since they were 3 and 8, I had driven them from New Mexico to Oklahoma and their Dad had come from Tennessee to Oklahoma, where he picked them up to take them for their summers with him. But now, my son had a car and he insisted that he could drive them to Tennessee (two-day drive from Okla. City) himself. I was insane with worry, but we worked out the particulars -- a AAA card, money, traveler's checks, a hotel reservation I paid in advance at a point I thought was about halfway. Admonishments about strangers, about funny noises the car makes that are worth worrying about, about checking the oil and tires EVERY TIME YOU GET GAS, and on and on and on until even I was sick of myself.

And I drove to Oklahom (my family all live there)with him caravaning behind me and the morning it was time for them to head out on the remainder of the trip alone to Tennesses, I guided them out to the interstate highway and waved them east on I-25 as I headed west, back to New Mexico. Seeing the two of them drive off together down that busy highway in that little brown car tore my heart out. My life was in that car, going in the opposite direction from my self. What a clanging that produced in the heart and soul ...

AND ... that was ten years ago and we're all in great shape. The wheel turns ...

ww

Subject: RE: BS: totally non-music; Milestones
From: Naemanson
Date: 11 Oct 00 - 09:42 AM

Yeah, Wyo, you nailed that one. I also bought mine a cell phone and an extended AAA membership. I'm sure you would have provided a cell phone too if this had happened now instead of 10 years ago.

And, oh God, I've got to do it all over again in about a year and a half!

It's too easy to focus on the fear and dread but there is also the pride and happiness of seeing them out there making their way through the world. Part of you is yearning to go to them and guide them forever. The rest of you just stands there holding back and watching them shine with their own light.

Kelli, my older daughter, has announced that she is not coming home for Thanksgiving. She'll be going to a friend's house for the holiday. I am proud that she is building her own life and sad that I cannot spend the holiday with her.

Subject: RE: BS: totally non-music; Milestones
From: WyoWoman
Date: 11 Oct 00 - 11:51 AM

Awwww. I know ...

ain't life grand? Really, really. all poignant and painful and joyous and wretched and ... full of LIFE???

ww