Favourite announcements/introductions

Subject: Favourite announcements/introductions
From: The Shambles
Date: 03 Jul 00 - 03:38 PM

The BBC is not known for humorous between programme announcements. This possibly explains why I found the following so funny.

Whilst introducing an episode of Star Trek Voyager, the announcer dryly said "and now, more trouble with wormholes".

Subject: RE: Favourite announcements/introductions
From: SeanM
Date: 03 Jul 00 - 03:43 PM

Southwest Airlines (US based airline) tends to get a bit odd on the local LA/Oakland shuttle run... It's an hour long flight, and the crew always seems a bit punchy come the last flight...

So one night, The following comes over the PA after the cabin crew has done all the announcements...

(loosely remembered) "Ladies and gentlemen, while we're waiting for permission to depart, I'd like to remind you yet again that in case we experience sudden cabin pressure loss, that oxygen masks will drop from the overhead compartments. We ask that you stop screaming, yelling and clawing your fellow passengers long enough to strap them over your mouths so that the rest of us up here can get back to sleep..."

Gotta love local air...

M

Subject: RE: Favourite announcements/introductions
From: Mbo
Date: 03 Jul 00 - 03:49 PM

One of my favorites is from the local alternative rock station: "And now back to more of today's best rock--no crap acts like Shania Twain on this station!" I nearly fell over laughing! Gie me my Oasis ony dae!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: Favourite announcements/introductions
From: Peter T.
Date: 03 Jul 00 - 03:49 PM

I substituted for a friend as a last minute replacement as the Doctor in Macbeth in a production in London that had a bout of the flu that knocked out three or four of the cast members, so at the beginning of the play, someone came out on stage, and said, We apologise for the cast substitutions tonight, including "Charles Davenport as MacDuff, Veronica Stillport as the Second Witch, and some Canadian as the Scottish Doctor". I got a round of applause even before the curtain opened, and wild applause when I came on for my piddly little scene. (None of which I deserved).

yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: Favourite announcements/introductions
From: kinderfolk
Date: 16 Jul 00 - 12:36 AM

I would like to have *scene* that, Peter T.

We had a local radio station with the last call letters of "ass", they used to talk about "kicking ass" until they had too many complaints. Now, they do not use the letters, but rather the number on the dial of the radio.

kf

Subject: RE: Favourite announcements/introductions
From: Sorcha
Date: 16 Jul 00 - 12:50 AM

"Hello, friends. We're the Torrington Fiddlers, and I would like to take a few moments to introduce the band. Warren, this is Amy. Glen, this is Bob." etc. Incidentally, Warren and Amy are married to each other....

Subject: RE: Favourite announcements/introductions
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 16 Jul 00 - 01:17 AM

A BART operator (BART is the major subway system in the San Francisco bay area) was announcing a certain stop as a major transfer point for diferent lines. As the train rolled into the stop, he ended his lengthy announcement with "LLLLLet's get ready to transferrrrr!!!!" (You have to be familiar with televised boxing in the U.S. to get this).

-chanteyranger

Subject: RE: Favourite announcements/introductions
From: Terry K
Date: 16 Jul 00 - 01:45 AM

Or perhaps not - Michael Buffer is just as big announcing UK fights

Subject: RE: Favourite announcements/introductions
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 16 Jul 00 - 01:54 AM

Didn't know that, Terry. I take my last point back.

-chanteyranger

Subject: RE: Favourite announcements/introductions
From: The Shambles
Date: 16 Jul 00 - 06:37 AM

I saw a clip recently where the boxing announcer gave the BIG build-up." Weighing in at _______lbs all the way from _____ the undefeated ______ champion of _______".

He then had to walk over to the boxer in question and quietly ask him what his name was……….

Subject: RE: Favourite announcements/introductions
From: Micca
Date: 16 Jul 00 - 07:16 AM

There was a tram driver on the Red trams in Toronto on the run from York station to the Harbour on our last trip out there who did a complete Star Trek style start up and called out the warp speeds as the tram accelerated out of the station, it had all the passengers smiling, for a change.

Subject: RE: Favourite announcements/introductions
From: Jeremiah McCaw
Date: 16 Jul 00 - 10:12 AM

I've always wanted to be the emcee at some function and announce "Our guest of honour needs no introduction", and then just sit down.

Subject: RE: Favourite announcements/introductions
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 16 Jul 00 - 01:33 PM

Shambles, that's priceless! We used to have boxing on TV announced by Tom Harmon, every Friday night. During a late round of one particularly boring fight, the ref was accidentally floored while stepping in to break up a clinch. It wasn't a particularly hard punch, so he was OK, just enough to throw him off balance. Harmon, as bored to tears as everyone else watching, suddenly lit up and announced, "First knockdown of the fight!!! Referee Larry Rosadilla!!!" The ref then went over to Harmon with a smile and said something to him, waving his arms. Harmon then announced - "Rosadilla said it was only a slip!" Worth every minute of that boring fight. Don't remember who boxed or who "won."

Subject: RE: Favourite announcements/introductions
From: sledge
Date: 17 Jul 00 - 03:31 AM

Ladies and Gentlemen, IT gives me great pleasure!