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BS: 'frayed knot' joke
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BS: 'frayed knot' joke |
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Subject: 'frayed knot' joke From: Ed Pellow Date: 01 Aug 00 - 03:49 PM Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'I recently heared this joke here, but my attempts at finding right thread have been unsuccessful. I get the gist, but can't tell it nearly as well as the original poster did. The essence of the joke was about a piece of string going into a pub (bar) not being served, shaking about, becoming a 'frayed knot' and then saying 'afraid not' A simplistic joke and maybe an old one, but I'd be most grateful if someone could tell me how to tell the joke well Thank you Ed |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Hollowfox Date: 01 Aug 00 - 04:10 PM As with all such things, you must make it your own, so feel free to indulge in any variants that make the joke more comfortably for you. I ifrst heard this from Poor Howard, a blues singer from Minneapolis; a scholar, a gentleman, and a fine judge of women. three pieces of rope went into a neighborhood bar. One of them went to buy their drinks, and the bartender gruffly said, "We don't serve rope in this bar, get out." the rope went back to his friends and told them, and the second piece of rope tried to buy the drinks. He was told in even gruffer tones,"We don't serve your kind in here, get out!" The third piece of rope was a determined length of cordage, and told his friends, "Let me try." He backed up, took a running leap, while in midair he contorted himself onto a Turk's-Head knot; he landed on one end of the bar and skidded down the length of it, with glass breaking hte whole way. When at last, cut and tattered, he stopped in front of the bartender, the man roared, "How many times do I have to tell you guys!..We do NOT serve rope, string, thread, or twine in this bar! Now Get Out!" And the would-be customer replied triumphantly, "Ahh, I'm a frayed knot." (Needless to say, this one works best if you can spin the story out like a fine silk thread. Descriptions of the bar, the bartender, whether the lengths of rope are different lengths, and a wide variety of adjectives all help to misdirect the audience until the last moment. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: catspaw49 Date: 01 Aug 00 - 04:15 PM And now for comparison to Hollowfox, and in your efforts to become a joke maven Ed, I offer you this..... Enter frayed knot in the "Digitrad and Forum Search" and you'll get the previous half dozen tellings, including twice by Alice. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: GUEST,Yvonne Date: 01 Aug 00 - 05:01 PM It was a really hot day and a piece of string was walking along the road with the sweat pouring from him. He decided to go into a pub for a long cool drink. He approached the bar and asked the landlord for a pint of beer, to which the landlord pointed at a sign above the counter that said "Pieces of string not welcome here - we do not serve pieces of string." Again the piece of string asked for a pint and the landlord who was by this time becoming annoyed said, "Can't you read the sign?" The piece of string said "I can" and the landlord asked "well then, are you a piece of string?" To which the piece of string replied "No, I'm a frayed not!!!!" (not the best version Ed, but you can get the idea!!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Mrrzy Date: 01 Aug 00 - 06:30 PM The one I heard did have the string go into the bar and get thrown out because they didn't serve strings. His friend tried, same result. So the third unravels his top and twists it all around, and tried. The bartender looks at him suspiciously and says Hey, ain't you a string? To which he answers (using the "I'm afraid not" tone of voice) "I'm a frayed knot!" The trick is the bartender has to ASK if he's a string or the punch line doesn't work. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Mrrzy Date: 01 Aug 00 - 06:31 PM Note that he doesn't say NO. He's honest. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Gary T Date: 01 Aug 00 - 06:49 PM I absolutely agree with Mrrzy's point, also demonstrated by Yvonne, that the bartender must ask the question. I think it works best if it's indicated that the bartender looks at him as if not quite recognizing what he is, then asks with an inflection indicating a dawning awareness, "Say, aren't you a (piece of) string?" I disagree about using the word "no". I think it sounds more natural for the string to say "No, I'm a frayed not/afraid not." It also helps impart maximum impact to NOT use the words "frayed" or "knot" while setting it up, but of course you have to describe the fraying and knotting in some manner to maintain continuity and make sure everyone "gets it". Mrrzy's example above does that well. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: catspaw49 Date: 01 Aug 00 - 07:33 PM We now have about 10 renditions with foot notes for this moronic joke.....well 9 if you only count Alice once. Okay!!! Who's next? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Alice Date: 01 Aug 00 - 07:35 PM Yes, Spaw, you've got me. I told Mudcatters this knot joke and quite a few more jokes in the last few years, especially on the thread called something like "cheer me up". Alice |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Callie Date: 01 Aug 00 - 08:28 PM Count me in too, Spaw! It's one of my favourite jokes of all time! At the same sitting, I also heard the following, which is ALSO one of my faves: Two vomits are walking down the street. One vomit starts crying. "Why are you crying, vomit?" asks the other. "This is the place I was brought up!" Callie |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Helen Date: 01 Aug 00 - 08:34 PM I love this joke, one of my favourites. I think I'm guilty of telling it at Mudcat too. My version is that the 3 pieces of string try to get a drink, the third one says "Hang on a minute. I'll give it a go. I'll go in disguise." So he musses his hair up a bit, ties himslef in a knot and goes up to the bar. Then the barman says "Aren't you a piece of string?" and he says "No, I'm a frayed not!" That's the shortened version but I really like the dramatic, highly visual version by Hollowfox. And I agree with Gary T, it would be nice to be able to say he has tied himself in a know without using the word "knot". Hollowfox's mid-air contortions are a really nice way of getting to that but he still refers to a Turk's Head Knot. Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: catspaw49 Date: 01 Aug 00 - 08:37 PM Actually Alice, I like it too, but I admit I was surprised how much its been told here!!! Then, after referencing it back, along comes several other nice folks trying to give it the right nuance!!! So now, I'm sure its the all-time most told joke here and ready for use at the NYCFTTS and a;so for Ed Pellow, joke maven. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: catspaw49 Date: 01 Aug 00 - 08:48 PM Sorry Helen but I can't find your rendition. However it was told by T in Oklahoma, Twitchy the flamer, Skipjack, referenced by Wyowoman and Skipjack agin and Alice twice. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Helen Date: 01 Aug 00 - 09:19 PM Well, I'm probably misremembering. I think there was an occasion when I was going to tell it but someone beat me to it. While we're at it, I want to thank everyone who contributed to my Help! Lost my sense of humour thread. I am sure you will be happy to know that I have found it again. http://www.mudcat.org/thread.CFM?threadID=18325
Amazing 'Cat And if you are looking for some really good jokes that thread is a good place to start. Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Lepus Rex Date: 02 Aug 00 - 12:35 AM This joke, eh? You know, this is the ONLY (clean) joke that I can remember? ---Lepus Rex |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Peter T. Date: 02 Aug 00 - 09:05 AM I cannot see any way of making this into a good joke. It is like the chicken crossing the road or watching the barn dance to see a house fly. It lacks the humour gene. It is like trying to turn George W. Bush into someone who knows what it is like to work for a living. yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Mrrzy Date: 02 Aug 00 - 09:18 AM About the honesty part - the guy who first told me this used a kind of non-verbal-but-audible "rueful chuckle" kind of thing, so it went, aaah, I'm a frayed not. I agree that No is more human and colloquial, but by saying No I think you weaken the punch line, which is that the string is being perfectly honest with the bartender but is still going to get that drink! Personally, a (...) walks into a bar is probably my favorite genre of joke. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: CamiSu Date: 03 Aug 00 - 04:44 AM Well Lepus Rex, see if you can remember this one. it's the only clean one my husband ever brought home when he worked in the lumber yard.... What does the pink Panther say when he steps on an ant? Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant,dead ant... (but you gotta SING it!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Hollowfox Date: 04 Aug 00 - 12:20 PM Mrrzy, I just found a book you should take a look at. It's called "A Guy Goes into a Bar..."by (really) Al Tapper and Peter Press. It's published by Andrews McNeel Press, $10.95; ISBN 0-7407-0502-4. It probably won't end up in your public library (the covers are die-cut to look like a bottle & it's spiral-bound so it would wear out quickly with heavy use), but it was worht the purchase to me. Its a nice mix of classics, old friends, and jokes I didn't know. It didn't have the turtle-for-a-prize or the drunk-sees-a-chicken-on-a-rotisserie, though. Still, an affordable, thorough collection isn't to be sneezed at. |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: kendall Date: 04 Aug 00 - 06:16 PM Peter, I do like how you think! This has to be one of the worst "Jokes" of all time! |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Lepus Rex Date: 04 Aug 00 - 06:24 PM CamiSu... Oh, THANKS! It took me... what? 20 years to forget that Pink Panther one? Now it's right there with the frayed knot, taking up valuable memory. Thank you. Thank you so VERY much. ;) ---Lepus Rex |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Liz the Squeak Date: 05 Aug 00 - 01:53 AM Tonto sees the Lone Ranger carrying a trash can. Hey Kimosabe, where you go with trash can? "To the dump, to the dump, to the dump, dump dump....." agan , ya gotta sing!! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Ritchie Date: 05 Aug 00 - 04:56 AM There was this man taking his dog for a walk, a white highland terrier actually, when he bumped into his mate who was going to the pub. 'Ahh Tommy' said his mate' If you didn't have the dog you could have come in for a pint, it's just that the landlord does n't allow dogs in.' 'I'll get in' said the man 'just lend me your sunglasses' and so they went into the pub. The landlord looked at the man with the dog and said ' I'm sorry but your not allowed to bring dogs in here.' 'But it's a guide dog 'said the man. 'A guide dog, a guide dog' said the manager 'guide dogs are usually labradors and the like' 'whey' said the man looking down at his dog 'What have they given me ?' regards ritchie |
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Subject: RE: BS: 'frayed knot' joke From: Liz the Squeak Date: 05 Aug 00 - 05:19 AM #HAAAAAAAA HAHAAAAAAAA!!! Much sniggering and squeaking.... LTS |