a unique folklore list from Art:

Subject: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: Art Thieme
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 11:05 AM

As a collector of folklore and songs from various sources, and in keeping with my ongoing and obvious need to better myself and join in the tendency here in this forum to say that is FOLK, I humbly present this list of actual subtitles I have collected from Hong Kong films.
----------------------------------------------------------
1) I am damn unsatisfied to be killed this way.

2) Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.

3) Gun wounds again?

4) Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.

5) A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.

6) Damn, I will burn you into a Bar-B-Q chicken!

7) Take my advice or I'll spank you without pants.

8) Who gave you the nerve to get killed here.

9) Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.

10) You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.

11) I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out.

12) You daring lousy guy.

13) Beat him out of recognizable shape.

14) I have been scared sh*tless too much lately.

15) I got knife scars more than the numbers of your legs hair !

16) Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.

17) The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?

18) How can you use my intestines as a gift?

19) This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I'm sure that you will not mind that I remove the manhoods and leave them out on the desert floor for your aunts to eat.

20)Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermmination.

21) Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feet on some arse of the giant lizard person.

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 11:35 AM

Well I bit..........

Now Mr. Thieme, where were you surfing to find this particular pearl of wisdom?

Spaw

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: Mbo
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 11:38 AM

Yer a riot, Art!

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: Naemanson
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 11:41 AM

Please tell me you watched each and every one of those movies!

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 11:47 AM

Folkin' brilliant! We are not worthy...
RtS

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: Jeri
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 11:50 AM

Is #5 from an episode of X-Files? It's been a while since I watched any subtitled films from Hong Kong. I'll have to get my English instructions for Korean products out though...

I once learned (in a method that would force you to laugh so solidly your orbs of manhood would autumn off) that the Korean word for "liver" means something completely different in Mandarin Chineese. I shut the "liver" up now...

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: Art Thieme
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 11:54 AM

I just thought that, in the name of inclusion and world music, I ought to get oriented. It was the least I could do. Remember, the mother of invention is strange bedfellows.

Art

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: Mbo
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 11:56 AM

You could put all those together into a really good song.

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: MMario
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 12:00 PM

I've shared this with some friends...suspect they will all find them as funny as I did.

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: Jed at Work
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 12:02 PM

now, I think you owe us a bibliography, so we can do further research!

;-)

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: Art Thieme
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 12:03 PM

No---I just think I'll keep 'em to myself...

Art

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 12:10 PM

I KNEW IT!!! Okay Thieme, admit it now......You're actually a closet kung-fu movie junkie aren't you? I suspected as much............

Spaw

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: MMario
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 12:12 PM

Isn't kung-fu with closets a bit dangerous? I mean, wouldn't you get splinters?

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 12:18 PM

Not if you keep your thumbs out of the way.

Spaw (see Classic Joke thread)

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 12:55 PM

Art. If as a teenager, I'd had a brother or a friend with your sense of humour, I wouldn't have needed to become a folksinger. Why I could have run for Vice President. (if I'd been American)

Rick

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 01:14 PM

"please to nottice-document of which you are searching has no datas. If problem continues more, nottify major manager for great relief"

(can't believe I'd missed the ones Art posted...they seem to be on 200+websites...VERY funny stuff Art, thanks)

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: Morticia
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 01:27 PM

ROTFLMAO.........priceless, Art......I spent two years in Hong Kong watching this kind of film ( I was only 11) and you've brought it all back......thanks......I think :)

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: celticblues5
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 05:53 PM

sooooooooo funny! thanks!

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: Rana who SHOULD be working
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 06:03 PM

Art,

Great list

Only thing I could add is from the English film, in English with English subtitles, namely the film Riff-Raff, where the phrase "I'm on the *** dole" (or such like), got translated to the very proper (and you can imagine "correct" English - BBC in the old days) " I am collecting social security"

However, I don't think that matches your gems.

Cheers

Rana

Subject: RE: a unique folklore list from Art:
From: Art Thieme
Date: 17 Aug 00 - 08:34 PM

I've got to fess up. Cannot take the credit. Those were from a good ol' folkie named Ron Miles from near Brainerd, Minnesota. But I think he may have got 'em from Bruce Brackney (called "Haywire Brack") who now resides in Vancouver B.C. So there IS a Canadian connection.

Art