Non-music;Game for the literary minded.

Subject: RE: Non-music;Game for the literary minded.
From: catspaw49
Date: 31 Oct 00 - 11:35 PM

Every morning Kendall awoke with the certain knowledge that this day would bring no new joys to his life and he longed to rewind the clock to that night in '63 when an itinerant moose had made off with his genitals.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Non-music;Game for the literary minded.
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 31 Oct 00 - 11:17 PM

He knew that it only took a split-second for an eternity of thoughts to pass through him, as he thought with his mind about how he would consider pondering the unthinkable.

Subject: RE: Non-music;Game for the literary minded.
From: Ebbie
Date: 31 Oct 00 - 11:05 PM

Oh, you guys, you're just too funny! LOL!!

Ebbie

Subject: RE: Non-music;Game for the literary minded.
From: DougR
Date: 31 Oct 00 - 11:05 PM

I ran to the window to see what had frightened Nigel. "Hark, he said, "Two two Grizzly bears are copulating on the front lawn!

It was the first hint I had that Nigel was blind.

DougR

Subject: RE: Non-music;Game for the literary minded.
From: sophocleese
Date: 31 Oct 00 - 10:38 PM

The glow from a distant streetlight, sporadically obscured by trees dancing in the rising breeze, created strange shadows around the swing set that made it seem as if ghost children of her childhood were still gliding feather light down the slide, softly stealing onto a swing to run off again, or circling her and teasing her, daring her with voices soft as whispered leaves, to yell back at them, her father always said her tongue would get her into trouble, and he was right too, Lydia thought, as she once again cursed the urge that had prompted her to lick the cold frost off of the candy striped metal, would it ever warm up?

Subject: RE: Non-music;Game for the literary minded.
From: Ebbie
Date: 31 Oct 00 - 07:52 PM

She had been gone a really long time and there were inumerable events that had happened to her in her vicinity that she could tell others about if only she would remember them at the right moment and then they would understand the situation more better and not maybe blame her so much and not talk about her behind her back when she wasn't there and make it so hard to sleep.

Subject: RE: Non-music;Game for the literary minded.
From: kendall
Date: 31 Oct 00 - 07:13 PM

This is great! I firmly believe that the really funny things are said, not done.

Subject: RE: Non-music;Game for the literary minded.
From: Morticia
Date: 31 Oct 00 - 07:05 PM

LOL Kat, think I might go and nudge Gomez, see what he reckons to a little pretzeling :)

Subject: RE: Non-music;Game for the literary minded.
From: katlaughing
Date: 31 Oct 00 - 07:03 PM

I'll have a go at it, but yours was excellent!

"Twisting away, yet facing forward, in a juxtaposition of body parts, their entangled limbs found new postures, made them pretzels of love....."

Subject: Non-music;Game for the literary minded.
From: Morticia
Date: 31 Oct 00 - 05:34 PM

These are the 10 winners of this year's Bulwar Lytton contest (run by the English Dept of San Jose State U), wherein one writes only the first line of a bad novel.

10) "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber he would never hear the end of it."
9) "Just beyond the Narrows the river widens."
8) "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."
7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the east wall: "Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep."
6) "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back-alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved."
5) "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eking out a living at a local pet store."
4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do."
3) "Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."
2) "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word "fear," a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies.
AND THE WINNER IS... 1) "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers,pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, "You lied!"

As, by and large, we are at least as funny and as creative as the efforts above would suggest, I thought people might like a crack at coming up with their own worst lines with which to start a novel.....or a folk song. Mine would be:
He knew she knew he knew she knew, and she knew he knew she knew he knew, but neither knew that Nugent knew.