Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!

Subject: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: InOBU
Date: 11 Nov 00 - 04:26 PM

OK Folkies: Who noticed that GW Bush has a new bandaid on his face? Well, my theory is that he and Chainey got faced to drink away the tension of the past few days, and that Chainey hit him as they argued over who was the designated driver/drinker? What do you guys think. Grand prize is the title of "Great mind and soul"...

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: CarolC
Date: 11 Nov 00 - 04:29 PM

I don't know...sometimes the truth is the most interesting of all. Mr. Bush has a boil on his face.

Must be all that stress.

Carol

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: InOBU
Date: 11 Nov 00 - 07:14 PM

Good effort Carol! But, can't we get more creative?
Larry

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: tradsteve
Date: 11 Nov 00 - 07:15 PM

I thought daddy might have been giving him "a big boy shave" and slipped.

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: InOBU
Date: 11 Nov 00 - 07:50 PM

And Tradsteve moves to the lead!

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Nov 00 - 10:25 PM

The way I hear it from the girlfriend of a man who used to know quite well ( at least by sight) a man who used to work in the Bush camp, BBBBBush pppppushed his face into the horizontal slot on one of those machines to prove that it could count. Well, hey, it almost worked.

Eb

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: InOBU
Date: 11 Nov 00 - 11:17 PM

His wife slapped him when she caught him sending an invitation to Monica Lewinsky to be a White House intern as he begins his transition talks?

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Nov 00 - 11:39 PM

Sorry folks, but CNN reported basically what Carol said above regarding a boil. One of their medical types had checked and found that this is a chronic condition with Bush dating back to early chidhood. These are actually a tumorous growth known as penefacillary tumors. I had to check one of my lab tech wife's medical texts, but it says they are NOT cancerous, but when not removed, they can grow into a "tublar shaped mass of up to 3" in length." It also says that they are "suppurating" meaning they ooze a liquid from the "terminus" of the distile end (the oldest part, furthest away).

The CNN guy also had a lot of details in terms of numbers and such that I missed, but he did say that dubya has averaged one of these per year since, I think he said, 1967. I couldn't find it in Karens' book but I think the reporter said they are hereditary and that Senior George has them also as does brother Jeb. Its why all 3 of them are known far and wide as "Dickface."

Well they are........Sorry........

How was that?

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: campfire
Date: 11 Nov 00 - 11:52 PM

I vote we throw Spaw off the bridge

Oh wait, wrong thread!

campfire

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 12 Nov 00 - 01:18 AM

G'day all,

Damn ... and I thought we had some Australian traditional bands doing something for the rest of the world's starving millions!

Regard(les)s,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: GUEST,Robin
Date: 12 Nov 00 - 01:22 AM

He must be boiling over!

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: InOBU
Date: 12 Nov 00 - 10:40 AM

Spaw TAKES THE LEAD!!!!

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: Linda Mattson
Date: 12 Nov 00 - 05:09 PM

I am not a cruel person, but my humble opinion - I thought it was because he was trying to cut his throat for losing the election, and he missed...

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: Micca
Date: 12 Nov 00 - 05:40 PM

" When they lanced the boil they threw away the only part of Dubya that wasn't malignant" (to regurgitatate an old UK joke first told about Randolph Churchill)

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 12 Nov 00 - 07:23 PM

Nope. I suspect ol' Dubya was standin' in front of the mirror tryin' to remember all those instructions he'd been given after the first debate. bein' a pretty smart guy (except for rememberin' the names of those silly third world Pooh-bahs) he focused in on the "Don't smile George, 'cause it looks like you're smirkin'" advice. "Well" he says to himself, "Now that I'm the President-almost-elect, I'd REALLY better not let 'em see me smirkin'", so he starts tryin' to wipe the smile off his face, and he tries, and he tries, but he keeps thinkin' about those absentee Military votes...and he just starts smilin' even more. And then he thinks about makin' brother Jeb the ambassador to outer Mongolia for screwin' up Florida, and he's smilin' even harder. Finally he can't stand it any longer, so with a HUGE shit eatin' grin on his face he stares into that mirror and says "By Sam Houston, I could KISS YOU.................just as the cook comes in with the sandwich he ordered, and thinks he's talkin' to HER!

She promptly Bitch-slaps him upside the head, and that's why he's got the bandaid.

Rick

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: paddymac
Date: 12 Nov 00 - 07:59 PM

Amazing creativity, but I heard that Al Gore threw a petulant fit and shot a spit ball at him from Memphis.

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: Lucius
Date: 12 Nov 00 - 08:06 PM

I've heard that the "boil" has an uncanny resembelence to Richard M. Nixon. The band aid is a gag to hide the tiny--but repeated voice:"I am not a crook".

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: richlmo
Date: 12 Nov 00 - 11:43 PM

Perhaps he was Gored!

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 05:43 AM

"Remove this suppurating pustule from me, please" the boil is reputed to have pleaded.
RtS

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: InOBU
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 08:11 AM

Gee, these answers are getting so good we are going to have to vote for a winner - Florida Mudcatters are asked to vote with care, and in case of a tie, the oldest Mudcatter with most racist past, wins (as long as he is 98 years old and is commonly believed to have fought in the civil war - You out there Strom ol' boy?). Larry

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: northfolk/al cholger
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 01:28 PM

paraphrasing Lincoln pop-culture...

"other than that, Mrs. Bush, how did you like the play?"

one could only hope...

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: mousethief
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 01:36 PM

That's the exit-hole the Alien he was gestating used.

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 09:08 PM

The solution to Mr Bush's quandary is so obvious only he could overlook it. Since he didn't get the popular vote, regardless of intercessary mechanisms, he should graciously step aside. As a way to make this possible andf offset his losses, he should publically request support for the motion at the rate of $1.00 from each person who voted for Al Gore, in compensation for declining to perpetuate this silliness. I am sure he would clear expenses and then some, and his tarnished reputation would be restored by his brilliance and grace.

A

Subject: RE: Help: BUSH Band-aid Contest!
From: InOBU
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 11:13 PM

...The solution to Mr Bush's quandary is so obvious only he could overlook it. Since he didn't get the popular vote, regardless of intercessary mechanisms, he should graciously step aside. As a way to make this possible andf offset his losses, he should publically request support for the motion at the rate of $1.00 from each person who voted for Al Gore, in compensation for declining to perpetuate this silliness. I am sure he would clear expenses and then some, and his tarnished reputation would be restored by his brilliance and grace... At which time his father bitch slapped him, and thus the band aid???????????????????????????????????????????????? Hunghhh? Larry