Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Both Sides Now

Subject: Lyr Add: BOTH SIDES NOW (parody by Chris Clarke)
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 17 Nov 00 - 12:11 AM

G'day all,

I would like to note this finally surfacing in the original thread (last sighted last July 2000), but I can't get any action out of Mudcat search this afternoon. I'll note it there if I ever raise the thread close enough to the surface to gaff it.

Anyway, this has finally arived back with permission to post the words - which remain, of course copyright (c) to Chris Clarke, the author of this parody on Both Sides Now.

Enjoy,

Both Sides Now (The Toast Song)
c 1971. Chris Clarke

In morning time when I arise
My breakfast fare is no surprise,
I pour the cornflakes, make the tea
And then reach for the bread.
I turn the gas on, light the grill,
And think this time I really will
Stay wide awake, make perfect toast
And start the day well-fed

I'll lightly toast it both sides now,
Both up and down
To golden brown,
The toasting time I will recall,
I really can make toast
After all.

But then I read, to pass the time,
The cornflakes advertising rhyme,
I hear the news, but don't take in
A single item read.
And then an old familiar smell
Invades the dreamworld where I dwell,
And fills the room with flames and smoke
And fumes of burning bread -

I've burnt the toast on both sides now,
Both front and back
To charcoal black,
The toasting time I don't recall,
I really can't make toast
After all.

And so I scrape it in the bin
Which makes the slices rather thin,
Then wipe the knife upon the cloth
Back in my dream-like state.
I butter it with marmalade,
Then to correct the mess I've made
Spread butter on the other side
And stick it to the plate -

My toast is buttered both sides now,
Both left and right,
I'm none too bright,
The buttering I don't recall,
I really can't make toast
At all.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Bothe Sides Now
From: alison
Date: 17 Nov 00 - 12:30 AM

nice one Bob

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Bothe Sides Now
From: GUEST,Kernow Jon
Date: 17 Nov 00 - 07:56 PM

Thanks for this Bob and thanks to Chris Clarke too.
KJ

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Bothe Sides Now
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 18 Nov 00 - 01:20 AM

G'day all,

I hope Alisons and KernowJon enjoy singing it too. I might print out a copy and paste it above the toaster - but then, as I breakfast on cereal while Patricia nukes toast, this might be impolitic!

I PMed the original requester (BAZ) to say that I had finally got hold of a friend's autographed copy from Chris CLarke - and permission to post. OK, it did take 6 months ... but The Shiny Bum Singers ARE the minstrels of the Canberra (Australia's National Capital) Public Service!

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Bothe Sides Now
From: kendall
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 07:40 AM

hehehe

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Bothe Sides Now
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 09:42 AM

I've heard this sung by Chris (Mudcatter Canberra Chris) & others lotsa' times, but seeing him perform this at a recent National folk Festival, was a treat. He was dressed in his pyjamas & did it as part of a concert about daily life (daily life as seen by this mob of Public Sevants & consultants)

Shiny Bums Singers on Youtube

Unfortunately the Toast Song is not here - but check out Howard Times to see Bob Bolton taking pictures & singing along when the Bums appeared at my folk club last year.

more videos on their website

Maybe I'll watch their (professional) DVD next!

sandra (No.1 Shiny Bums fan)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Bothe Sides Now
From: Rumncoke
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 01:22 PM

I was hoping it was about an errant toaster - I have one - it either pops up when the bread is still palid or hangs onto it and burns it black - perhaps I will have to write my own.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Burnt the Toast on Bothe Sides Now
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 16 Jun 08 - 08:00 PM

... it's burnt the toast on both sides now ...