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BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
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Subject: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Dec 00 - 02:54 AM She isn't too sure about this, but Carol says in the upcoming year, she needs to make some decisions regarding the direction her life is taking. She has tried to bury this in another thread, but her choice is between a new "Significant Other" and buying a ferret. Carol hates to ask for help at times, so I thought we could put our two cents worth in here for her anyway. I know she respects the opinion of many 'Catters, so let's tell her our ideas. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 27 Dec 00 - 03:10 AM Spaw, it hasn't even started yet, but you've made my year, already. Ok guys. Let's see what you have to say. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Joe Offer Date: 27 Dec 00 - 03:29 AM Well....I'm available. On second thought, she might be better off with a ferret. -Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Mark Cohen Date: 27 Dec 00 - 03:31 AM Well, at the risk of sounding too politically correct, I think you should find out what the ferret's opinion is. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: zander (inactive) Date: 27 Dec 00 - 05:05 AM ferret's are smelly obnoxious creatures, so not a lot to choose between there then. Blessings on you, Dave |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Dec 00 - 05:28 AM Well zander, and we must pay homage to Mark's point about being PC here, I think you have something worth investigating perhaps........... So let's see here.......Joe Offer, a self confessed (and confession is big with Joe) potential suitor has recently referred to himself as "spiffy." Ferrets do have that musk thing and I haven't heard one described as "spiffy" so we do need to look into this potential difference. Here with the aid of a simple blue clicky, we can analyze Selection One and Selection Two (with choices). Hmmmm.........Very tough. The decision process can be VERY difficult can't it? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Gervase Date: 27 Dec 00 - 07:02 AM I''d go for the ferret every time. Not every boyfriend can find you space in a crowded train, but keep a ferret in your pocket and you'll have all the breathing room in the world. They'll never nick your car or leave the seat up, either. Now, if only they had better table manners... |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: kendall Date: 27 Dec 00 - 08:14 AM The breeder who sold me my dog says he has one that was returned at the age of 6 months. You could probably get a deal on him?? He doesn't have any balls, but, I expect some of the men in your life didn't either? (He NEVER leaves the seat up)! Remember what Harry Truman said "If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog." |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST,Noreen Date: 27 Dec 00 - 08:50 AM Hmmm- looks cuddly, sweet pink nose... I'd be a bit wary of the teeth... |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Morticia Date: 27 Dec 00 - 09:01 AM Well, lemme see......one is a vicious animal, with a nasty disposition, dubious personal hygiene and a tendency to turn on you, only interested in food and fornication.... and then there's the ferret..... a no-brainer I think you guys call it,yes? ( Only joking gentleman, honest!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Firecat Date: 27 Dec 00 - 09:10 AM Hmmmm...boyfriend or ferret? It's a bit like that advert with the little kid deciding between Daddy and chips. "chips!" Having been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years, I can honestly say you'd be better off with the ferret!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: LR Mole Date: 27 Dec 00 - 09:31 AM Boy, are there a lot of entities and combinations to offend here, potentially. I recuse myself, except for observing that a ferret-accordian mishap is a horrifying prospect. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: AllisonA(Animaterra) Date: 27 Dec 00 - 09:42 AM JOE OFFER IS AVAILABLE!?!?!? Be still, my heart! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Dec 00 - 09:46 AM Hey Noreen....Are you referring to Joe Offer or the ferret? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Naemanson Date: 27 Dec 00 - 10:00 AM I don't know if you want either Joe or the ferret. Consider, everytime you opened your mouth to sing Joe would be there opening his books to make sure he already has that song catalogued. The ferret would be running up your pant leg or into some other opening in your clothing and making you laugh. Guys, this decision is tougher than you think. Maybe a nice lesbian relationship is what you need to avoid the pitfalls of both men and ferrets. Or, if you have your heart set on MALE companionship, and something that resembles a ferret, I'm available. And I thought that I heard Brian whisper As he stood in the fire's rosy light "Well, you've had yerway long enough, dear... 'Tis the hairy side outside, tonight." |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Dec 00 - 10:11 AM Uh Brett......You say you RESEMBLE afeeret and I was wondering if you meant in looks or that you would be with Carol "running up your pant leg or into some other opening in your clothing and making you laugh." Just thought it might help Carol make a decision. Spaw
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 27 Dec 00 - 10:28 AM "that you would be with Carol 'running up (her) pant leg or into some other opening in (her) clothing and making (her) laugh.'" Actually, Spaw, that one sounds rather enticing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 27 Dec 00 - 10:29 AM "Love me, love my ferret", as they say.
Is it that he's jealous of the ferret, or scared of it? Either way it sounds a poor basis for a relationship.
Unless of course it's that he keeps pigeons or rabbits himself, which might be fair grounds for not having a ferret in his life. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST,Caitrin @ home Date: 27 Dec 00 - 10:42 AM Maybe you could just pit the two of them against each other in some sort of contest and keep whoever wins. You know, like Dueling To The Death Banjos or something. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Alice Date: 27 Dec 00 - 11:36 AM Is this thread going to Spaw(n) a "Joe Offer is available" thread? Be careful of what you ask for, Joe! You may need to petition St. Jude to turn off the personal messages ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Naemanson Date: 27 Dec 00 - 11:45 AM Carol, you just have to ask yourself, "What does Joe Offer?" Once you answer that to your satisfaction you can make your decision. Also, you should consider all the undeserved negative press we men get in the world these days (things just haven't been the same since the days of the shirtwaist dress and pearls to greet the husband coming home from work). Now consider all the references to ferrets (dare I say, weasels?) in the modern vernacular. I know how I use the term "weasel" in my daily life and that is usually in sentences that include lawyers, politicians, and/or crooked contractors. I'm off to sing and play! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: wysiwyg Date: 27 Dec 00 - 12:25 PM Well, let's see. I have hugged Joe Offer and sat and traded tunes with him. And I have THOUGHT about doing that with Naemanson (so near and yet so far), who BTW gives GREAT e-mail! So if the guy in question was either one of them or someone like them, they'd love the ferret too, and there ya'd be. I can definitely recommend either of these fine men.... plus Joe is retired and pretty mobile!! (Sorry Brett!) I bet a ferret will never ask you to choose.... OK. Get the ferret and then see if the guy likes it or not. (He can't really say honestly till he sees you with the ferret curled up in your lap, fetchingly, see?) And if they like each other, and you like them, well, then you're all set. On the other hand if the ferret kicks the guy outta bed, that's yer answer. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Dec 00 - 12:33 PM Be sure you're fully clothed when the ferret is curled up in your lap. I'd hate to see a potential suitor become Bobbitted. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: kendall Date: 27 Dec 00 - 12:34 PM Being available also has its drawbacks ya know.. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Dec 00 - 12:37 PM Yeah, you're right Kendall. Especially if you find yourself about to copulate with a lap dwelling ferret. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Amos Date: 27 Dec 00 - 12:52 PM Well before you go haring off after ferrets, take a moment of reflection on the fate of young Patrick Wright who described them as "Prozac on legs". All furry little pointy things are NOT the same! :>) Regards, A. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 27 Dec 00 - 03:23 PM Back in the seventies, I had two ferrets, Biggles and Fang. (Named after the rogue Bishops in Monty Python's Flying Circus.) Biggles was pretty gentle, but Fang thought of nothing but food. One day he grabbed the skin between my thumb and forefinger in his teeth. Not enough to hurt, but enough to be able to start pulling. I thought this was interesting, so I let him pull me wherever he wanted to go. He pulled me right over to the corner where he use to like to eat his food. I guess he thought he'd hit the jackpot. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: hesperis Date: 27 Dec 00 - 03:38 PM Get a hamster. Boyfriends are a lot of work. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: wildlone Date: 27 Dec 00 - 08:03 PM Get the ferret. At least you can housetrain them |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 27 Dec 00 - 08:08 PM You could also deep six both ideas and get a new computer....less care and feeding of either of the above. I always thought ferrets were so soft looking, then I got to touch one.....worse than a wire haired terrier, and they stink badly, even when de scented......NOTHING is worse that ferret poop. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: flattop Date: 27 Dec 00 - 08:17 PM Nothing? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 27 Dec 00 - 08:20 PM nothing, not even Filipino "bluke"...... |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: flattop Date: 27 Dec 00 - 08:22 PM You stumped me on that one. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 27 Dec 00 - 08:22 PM Try Bondo fumes...they're pretty insane. But come on...us guys aren't THAT bad, are we? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Gypsy Date: 27 Dec 00 - 11:06 PM Ummm....creep, creep, creep. I'll put up hogshit as the worst smelling, over ferret debris! Or is it the capacity of a hog to eliminate? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: MMario Date: 27 Dec 00 - 11:12 PM gypsy, I agree. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 27 Dec 00 - 11:15 PM Bluke is sort of like 1,000 yr old eggs......and I think it is the capacity of the critter----save us if ferrets put out as much as pigs...... |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Naemanson Date: 27 Dec 00 - 11:16 PM If you want to talk about bad odors let's talk about a potato house in July, still full of last year's potatoes, growing sprouts and rotting, and stinking to high heaven. Note: In Aroostook County, Maine, a potato house is where a potato farmer stores his crop before selling it for french fries, bakers, or starch. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Dec 00 - 12:21 AM If you want to talk about bad odors how can you rule out men? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: mousethief Date: 28 Dec 00 - 01:21 AM I've never had a boyfriend or a ferret, so I really can't help you a lot, I fear. I've had a pet rat, which was a delight, and two wives, one of which is a delight and the other of which was a pain in the ass. Time to use your lifeline. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Peter Kasin Date: 28 Dec 00 - 02:20 AM Well gee, Carol C., I'll throw my hat in the ring. Hope the ozone hole doesn't do a number on me without my hat... |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: zander (inactive) Date: 28 Dec 00 - 03:10 AM Sorry to dissapoint you Wildlone, you can no more housetrain a ferret than a man. Cheers, Dave |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 28 Dec 00 - 03:30 AM Having lived with both men and ferrets, I have to say I tend to lean slightly in favor of men. However, so much wisdom has been imparted on this thread, most of it in favor of the ferret. I just don't know what to do. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Naemanson Date: 28 Dec 00 - 06:30 AM Life is short and eternity long, Life ain't no fun if you handle it with tongs, Ya gotta jump in, get some dirt on your hands, So to hell with the ferrets, git yerself a man! Besides, if you re-read my first post here you'll notice my coments about ferrets being weasels. If you choose the right man you can have both! Unfortunately I can't help you on being both but maybe some of the others here... *BG* |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST Date: 28 Dec 00 - 08:16 AM A ferret may, in the long run, be better company and less of a problem, but sexist-ly speaking, you won't ever coerce a ferret to take out the garbage or change a flat tire. Need a box of books or a piece of furniture moved from one corner to the other? You'll have better luck getting a man to do that. And in keeping with the season, if you're taken with a cold or the flu, a man may be persuaded to prepare some consomme and bring it to the sick bed, whereas a ferret - well, you get the drift. Of course, there's always a trade-off. It depends on your priorities.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: RichM Date: 28 Dec 00 - 08:23 AM Get a man. Get a ferret. Not necessarily in that order. You CAN have both! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 28 Dec 00 - 08:43 AM Guest, you have a very compelling argument. Where do these particular men hang out, and what do I have to do to get one of them to follow me home? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Naemanson Date: 28 Dec 00 - 08:55 AM Actually I make a pretty good chicken soup and have received compliments on my back rubs. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:08 AM ....here, maybe? Methinks there are many rational and progressively forward thinking members of the male persuasion (who also turn an eye to the 'traditional' perspective on things) that frequent these threads. The old saw comes to mind about the thing you're looking for often being right under your nose.... As for getting one of them to follow you home...hmmm. Just be yourself, that should suffice - and woo him with sweet strains of music from your accordion. If you take RichM's advice and opt for both, get the man to take care of the ferret for you. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST,LynnT Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:17 AM The Phillipine stuff is Baloot, not bluke -- it's fermented partially-developed chicken embryos, sold in the shell by street vendors. At least to this Westerner, the texture was every bit as revolting as the smell (think little cartilaginous bits in glue). I'm a Navy officer, and I encountered the stuff as part of "Truth Serums" administered to the junior-officer Defense Attorneys in old-style Chief's initiations some 20 years back. Haven't quite forgotten it yet. Re housebreaking of men and ferrets: At least the ferrets are straightforward about it, and CAN be taught to use a litter basket, cat-style; the men let you THINK it may eventually be possible... Lynn |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: kendall Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:40 AM "US" guys, Matt? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:53 AM CarolC said: "I just don't know what to do." If you like, you may borrow my A-1, M-1, Handy-dandy, Decision-making machine. If you don't recognize it by that title, some folks refer to it as a quarter. Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Peter T. Date: 28 Dec 00 - 10:03 AM I think it is time that you broke out of the traditional thought patterns, CarolC. This ferret/man dilemma is so boring, it is like, old. It is time to try a new dilemma, or even a trilemma. Why not have to be forced to choose between a heron/ballerina/steak knife? Or, one of my favourites: grave robber/30 minutes with a shopping cart in the sex store of your choice/retired road manager for Queen? And then the classic: distraught lesbian/man camped in middle of roundabout for 6 weeks/Isis. It is a new century. Time to expand your horizon of choice.... yours, Peter T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Cap't Bob Date: 28 Dec 00 - 10:05 AM Get a man who ~ likes to eat pickled garlic ~ poops in various corners of the house ~~ will tolerate being caged for extended periods of time ~~~ likes to dig holes in carpets (especially under doors) ~~~~ chews the rubber tubing off the bottom of instrument stands - - - - THEN YOU CAN HAVE THE BEST OF BOTH. Cap't Bob |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:01 AM Kendall, I haven't picked a fight with you in months. We are you trying to annoy me? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:02 AM Damn. Make that "why". |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 28 Dec 00 - 01:13 PM Matt_R: Probably because you rise to the bait so well, Matt. Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Rich(bodhránai gan ciall) Date: 28 Dec 00 - 02:06 PM I think we should leave it up to the state of Florida to vote on it. Carol can have her new game plan for 2001 some time in mid-2002. Rich |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Troll Date: 28 Dec 00 - 03:27 PM Get both. A ferret can be trained to use a litter box and a man can be trained to be helpful and (somewhat) sensitive to your needs. It can be done.The Memsahib did it to me. But I'm damned if I know just HOW she did it. All I know is, I just washed, dried, and put away all the dishes from a monster dinner. She went shopping. It was MY idea! troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Naemanson Date: 28 Dec 00 - 03:32 PM I don't think that is such a good example, Troll. Washing dishes is something a lot of male Mudcatters have confessed to. Try this one instead. When you walk out of the bathroom, what is the position of the toilet seat? This is a point on which the Mudcat women would more likely focus as an example of whether or not men can be trained. Ferrets always leave the seat up! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Morticia Date: 28 Dec 00 - 04:22 PM Or try these, gentlemen.....,b>If you see a toilet paper spindle empty, do you a) refill it b)panic and use the other bathroom for a few days c) a what? The love of your life has had a tough day, do you a) cook her dinner and rub her feet b) offer to take her out to dinner c)my cars had a tough day? You decide to buy your lady a present, do you choose a) flowers and chocolates b) something pretty and shiny from the jewellers? c) a new lawn mower Answers on the back of a five pound note to Morticia please, those with the correct answers will have their names forwarded to Carol.C, other submissions forwarded to Germaine Greer or the NYCFTTS as appropriate. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Dec 00 - 04:43 PM Very good Mort!!! I think that men can be trained as you all have noted and one of the most useful phrases (suggested by Blake Clark) they can learn is: "Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry." This one works in a large variety of situations and can be used in about 90% of the situations such as.......
"You forgot to take the trash out again and the garbage truck has already gone." See? Very useful and easily learned by most men. A word of caution though, yopu DO have to have at least a minor grasp on what is being saic or else the phrase could make matters worse. Such as:
"This dress makes me look fat." This type of thing cannot be learned by a ferret, although the listening skills required cannot be learned by some men. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST,Melani Date: 28 Dec 00 - 04:47 PM Carol, I personally favor rats--the furry kind with tails, that is. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Bill D Date: 28 Dec 00 - 05:10 PM deep analysis of basic issue:..hope it's not too serious for this crowd you can 'get' (as in "go shopping for") a ferret...and if you buy one, then you are sort of committed, but you know how this goes. you don't just 'get' a boyfriend...you meet people, some of whom are men, and you explore, muse, peruse and enjoy as best you can and perhaps become friends...if one of them fits 'boyfriend' status, it will become obvious...*grin*...BUT...if you are perceived as 'shopping' for a BF, you tend to attract the wrong kind..(have watched this process several times..*sigh*) so... a BF who likes both you & ferrets could provide HOURS of entertainment, but only the ferret aspect is likely to be immediately obvious...people are just too complicated,,*wry smile* (oh, yeah...the important part!..you find the RIGHT people by going places and doing what you like to do...if that's playing pool and smoking & drinking, then go to a bar...if it's reading, go to a library...if it's music, well...various choices..etc.etc...the right ferrets are at a decent pet store...but you knew that...*wink*) |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 28 Dec 00 - 05:17 PM Morty, the answers are a, a, and b. My girl is sick with a fever right now, I wish I could cook her dinner and rub her feet and buy her shiny things, and do the dishes an laundry for her! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Amergin Date: 28 Dec 00 - 05:22 PM hey, Matt, I used to get into arguments with my ex (weird saying that) over that....she wouldn' let me do anything for her when she was sick and I would get a little upset....only once did she let me and she was very sick then. I just wanted to say, lad, that I know exactly how that feels. Amergin |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Naemanson Date: 28 Dec 00 - 05:43 PM Back in the bad old uneducated days I used to get a lot of mileage out of "yes, dear." Unfortunately that also earned me some bruises. I think it was the whiny tone... Anyway I have learned my lesson and now I know exactly what to say and when to say it. And if you think I'm going to give ammunition like that to my competitors you have another think coming. You know, Carol, a kitten and a man would be a good combination. And, hey, I have a kitten right here! Well, OK, she's more of a full grown cat, and she isn't very friendly... |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Dec 00 - 06:54 PM ......oooooo boy................... Interesting how a thread goes isn't it? This one seems to have gotten some interesting responses and even a piece of real sage advice from Bill D. But, uh........Ya' see, Carol never said a thing about a boyfriend OR a ferret. What Carol said on the other thread was this: My very good friend, Ela, who lives in Maine (U. of M. at Orono) will be coming to visit me and spend New Year's Eve with me (weather permitting). My friendship with Ela is one good lasting thing I got out of my second to last significant relationship (with her father). It's always a treat to get to spend time with her. For 2001. Boy, that's a tough one. I honestly don't know in which direction I need to move during the upcoming year. So I guess my first goal is to try to get some clarity about what comes next. Well, me being a bit warped and liking to play with words, I responded: Well here's a thought Carol.......You could get to working on making Ela's father your third to last significant relationship. Or maybe you could buy a ferret. Your choice, but something to consider. The ferret bit was once again the silliest thing I could think of as a juxtaposition. And since I thought it was funny, I also thought, "Why not start a thread?"........Not a grain of truth to be found of course.......... Just shows that we'll talk about anything at any level for any reason. Gawd, I love this place!!! Spaw
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 28 Dec 00 - 08:54 PM ...so anyway, it looks like Joe Offer, Naemanson, and Chanteyranger have kindly offered themselves as possible candidates. How could I possibly choose only one of three of the best men in the Mudcat? Although I do like your persistance, Naemanson. (And the though of you running up my pant leg and making me laugh.) What I was actually referring to in the other thread was whether or not to take a semester off from school and whether or not to buy a car. And also what I want the direction of the whole rest of my life to be. Haven't got a clue. Anybody got any suggestions on any of that? Carol P.S. You guys are great! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:03 PM P.P.S. Thanks, Spaw. Merry Christmas. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Naemanson Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:07 PM Oh right, inject a little reality into the thread! Thanks a lot, Spaw! Get us running and then try to steer us into a reality we could not possibly live up to! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:23 PM A REALITY CHECK FROM SPAW???!!!! GOTTA BE A FIRST, NO???
Another reality check here, from MomSorcha--ya know, guys, all we really ever want is for Stuff to be Noticed and Acted Upon........ie, garbage full--carry it out w/o being asked. Grass too tall? Cut it,w/o being asked. Seat up/down--no prob, really. Just fix it to suit yourself as long as you don't pee on the floor....if you do, clean it up. Your "stuff" all over the house so we can't clean/vacum? PICK THE DAMN STUFF UP AND PUT IT AWAY!! (w/o being asked/told/nagged) |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:28 PM No need to be hostile, Sorch!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:30 PM Nah, matty, just 27 years of marriage and 2 kids kicking in, sweetie!I know you clean kitchens, so you are exempt from sarcasm!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:46 PM Haha! Thanks goodness! PARENTS! Teach your sons to clean!! Their wives will love them! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 28 Dec 00 - 09:53 PM Yes, indeed. Clean and COOK!! (let's not forget sorting laundry, and knowing how to run the machines, LOL!) Esp. if Someone expects his wife to be gainfully employed.....therefore, not AT HOME!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Naemanson Date: 28 Dec 00 - 10:36 PM It's quite easy to teach a man to use the cleaning appliances around the house. Just make sure your appliances are in a nice manly black, maybe with racing stripes, and explain to them that these are not appliances but large power tools. When faced with a power tool no self respecting man could do anything else but put it to work. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:01 PM By the way, I like rats better than ferrets, too. My favorite pet rat was Simon. He used to come when his name was called, and he didn't need to be kept in a cage. He was very smart. I even took him to the movies once. He was riding on my shoulder, concealed under my hair. For those of you who don't know, rats make great pets. And I would just like to say, for the record, that I think men are wonderful. Carol |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:06 PM Naemeson, great idea there......but my appliances are all already black.......excpet the fridge.......maybe I need black garbage cans? Black cat litter boxes? Oh dear....Carol, rats really are cool, aren't they? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:12 PM The Milwaukee Sawzall Vacuum cleaner!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:13 PM Ya' gotta' get it together Sorch!!! We have a big, black, Amana fridge and a matching stove. My friend Wayne refers to it as the "Black Hole." Truly, the black almost makes it negative space. If it were white, it would look HUGE!!! Our biggest regret is that Amana came out with this model (low freezer) in the next year painted to look like a Holstein! Wish we had that one! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:18 PM 'Scuse me Matt, but what does Milwaukee have to do with this? I was not aware the the Blackhawks were in Milwaukee......... thought they were inChiTown,or is it something else more obtuse? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:36 PM Spaw, are we talking a Holstein Fridge here? Well, hell, man, just spray paint the damn thing..........black blobs on white ground......maybe it will give milk on demand..or even better, food on demand, like an AutoMat, only better......."Please Send Stacked Green Chile Enchiladas With Sour Cream"........Oh lord I wish..(send tamales......) |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:39 PM Ooooh ChiTown.... No no, Milwaukee is the brand that makes THE Sawzall. I have one, big red metal case...with "Milwaukee" in fancy letters on the top... |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Amergin Date: 29 Dec 00 - 12:05 AM Yes, Matt, Milwaukee is the brand....they are a great piece of machinery....now if only the gens I used to work on had been half as good..... Amergin |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 29 Dec 00 - 12:09 AM "Milwaukee's Best"....... |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Amergin Date: 29 Dec 00 - 12:17 AM No, Sorcha, we were not talking about watered down piss, we were talking about tools....;) |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: zander (inactive) Date: 29 Dec 00 - 03:45 AM Get a ferret Carol, in the words of an old song ' I'm awa hame to my ain wee garret, if I cannae get a man, I'll surely get a parrot { carrot } Love Dave |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST,Thom M. at work Date: 29 Dec 00 - 03:46 AM All I can think when you combine men and ferrets is "Ol' Ferret Face" himself Frank Burns on M*A*S*H. I sure hope that's not what you folks have in mind. PS. My wife and I have been married for 28 yrs. Sorcha and I cook, do the groceries, laundry and put down the seat. She has me very well trained. The only task that I really was never too crazy about was changing the kids crappy diapers. Thom M. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST Date: 29 Dec 00 - 11:42 AM ...never took to domestication very well, which is probably why the marriage went south...but (bitch, gripe and complain mode = ON)..."domestication" must mean that the man take responsibility for everything. If the woman sees that the grass needs mowing or the garbage needs emptying, there's no reason why she can't fire up that lawn mower, or trot the trash out to the curb herself...likewise, in the interest of fairness, if the man sees that the dishes need washing or a load of laundry needs to be done, he can take care of it... The next time around (if there is a next time) there will be a detailed prenuptial wherein both parties agree that if something needs taking care of, whoever notices it first has the responsibility to correct it. If that proves to be unrealistic, then there's going to be some serious trades made, such as: never having to scrub a toilet bowl in exchange for full responsibility for fixing any appliance or mechanical device that goes awry. Segue into why men have to accept full responsibility for the position of the toilet seat at all times. Men lost some serious ground in this battle. Aren't men (that is, men of sanitary manners and less than marksmanship capabilities) just as likely as women, statistically speaking, to find the seat in the wrong position for the elimination of liquid waste? Before the arbitrary and unfair resolution to this issue of paramount importance, how often over a beer at the local pub did one man complain to another, "And dammit, every time I whizz at home I have to lift that freakin' seat up!"? The next time the rotten plumbing has to be taken apart to remove an unsightly hair clog so that the scummy bath water can drain, she can handle that and I'll make a nice lasagna. Oh, the price men pay in exchange for not having to bear children. (bitch, gripe, and complain mode = OFF)
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 29 Dec 00 - 12:32 PM Wow, guest. You really don't have any issues, do you? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST Date: 29 Dec 00 - 01:27 PM No, not really. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: kendall Date: 29 Dec 00 - 03:09 PM Stick to just having good friends. They are a lot less trouble. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: flattop Date: 29 Dec 00 - 03:30 PM "Why do women need men?" "Because you can't mow the lawn with a finger." (From the book, 'They Used to Call Me Snow White... But I Drifted; Women's Strategic Use of Humor.' Methinks. I can't trust my memory these days.) I tend to leave the toilet seat down because I like to sit and read on the toilet. I hardly ever stand up and read. Recently I found that I had left the seat up when I came home to a dark, cold, house, rushed into the bathroom and immersed myself in cold water and porcelain. The toilet seems larger when you experience it that way. Having that recent experience, I'd like to suggest that the issue isn't fairly traded in a tit for no-tit fashion. Like many women's issues, it's more of an issue of consequence and suffering. The only fair trade might be, "I'll trade off this suffering for that suffering of yours." |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Bert Date: 29 Dec 00 - 04:23 PM You're right Carol, rats make really good pets. They never bite (mice do) and they'll play just like puppies. They're smart too. We used to breed them one time. We had several breeding pairs, in large aquariums (No water in them, before anyone gets sarky). Well we were out of town for a few weeks and the kids let them escape. The rats reorganized their cages into a little township. One was the outhouse and they never pooped outside of it, another was the nursery, ALL the pups were kept there in one big hapy pile. And another was the grownup's living room. Bert. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Little Hawk Date: 29 Dec 00 - 07:16 PM Flattop, I had been rather worried about your post-Christmas depression, but now I am deeply concerned! This latest clumsy attempt to end it all fortunately did not succeed. But...what if you had, in your struggles to extricate yourself from the porcelain fixture, happened to place your hand on the flush handle, thus activating the infernal device. Imagine the horror of it! A last view of the world (albeit in a darkened room, so not much of a view at that) spinning round and round frenetically, then a hideous "GALOOOOONK!" sound as you vanished forever from our world. You probably wouldn't have been missed for weeks. Hell, make that months... I hope you have come to your senses. Stay away from the bathroom, and don't unplug the phone. Your friends are just a call away. :-) - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 29 Dec 00 - 07:33 PM Better yet, Little Hawk, put the phone in the bathroom... Bert, that's really cool. flattop, try immersing yourself in the toilet bowl when you're pregnant. That happened to me once. I almost needed several friends to come to my aid to extricate me from the toilet. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: flattop Date: 29 Dec 00 - 09:06 PM Maybe your scrawny bones would flush down the hole, Little Hawk, but they'd have to use a plunger to get my fat ass through. I have just one thing to say about your cavalier attitude to my misfortune. PUT THE DAMN SEAT DOWN! And no, Carol, I don't want to try immersing myself in the toilet bowl pregnant but I'd be interested in hearing what kind of hair brained scheme you had in mind when you suggested this. Did your toilet feel larger when you were inside it? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 29 Dec 00 - 09:42 PM flattop... step over here and say that. It was cavernous. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: WyoWoman Date: 29 Dec 00 - 10:30 PM Having raised two children by myself, I learned to do all manner of household stuff by myself, including lawn mowing, toilet un-stopping, oil changes and just about anything requiring a cordless drill, depending on the attachment. Still, I do enjoy the company of a nice man from time to time to help with the heavy lifting -- as long as he's furry and playful. Ferrets might be the latter, but they're not much help when it comes to the former. ww |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: hesperis Date: 29 Dec 00 - 11:44 PM In defense of the Hawkster, (for ONCE!) he actually does put the toilet seat down. Actually, he leaves it down. (Bet you really wanted to know that... *g*) Oh, and Carol, now that you've seen a pic of my hamster, are you SURE you want to settle for a man or a ferret? Face it, hamsters are FAR superior. (Especially in the cuteness of the posterior...) That cute face! Those black, beady eyes! That soft fur! Those funny poses! That stubby little tail! Think about it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Little Hawk Date: 30 Dec 00 - 12:24 AM flattop - As hesperis indicated, I don't raise the stupid seat in the first place. Why? Because there's no need to. If I'm in the forest I pee standing up, but when I'm in a comfortable bathroom then why not relax and sit down? It works fine, and you don't have to worry about aiming. It utterly baffles me why virtually all men feel that they must pee into a toilet standing up, but I suppose it's because that's the way they were first taught to do it, and nothing more than that. Doh! Either that, or they're just too damn lazy to pull down their own pants. Believe me, the women are way ahead on this one. Doesn't surprise me one bit, cos that's usually the case... I am offended that you would term my compassion "cavalier". Yes, deeply offended. I demand satisfaction. Meet me in front of the Orillia Opera House at noon tomorrow, and we shall have it out. The first man to misquote a line from any Bob Dylan song has to strip off all his clothes and run naked down the main street of Orillia (that's Mississaga Street for all you people out there in La-la land), and then jump off the dock into Lake Couchiching. The jump will not, however, be required if the Lake is frozen over... - LH
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: CarolC Date: 30 Dec 00 - 12:51 AM "That cute face! Those black, beady eyes! That soft fur! Those funny poses! That stubby little tail!" hesperis, you just described my last boyfriend. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Amergin Date: 30 Dec 00 - 01:28 AM You dated a hamster? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: sledge Date: 30 Dec 00 - 04:39 AM CarolC Having been a boyfriend a few times, go for the ferret. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Naemanson Date: 30 Dec 00 - 10:34 AM I don't know if the hamster or the ferret is the answer. Sure the hamster is cute and cuddly, a little rounded lump o' love, but is that enough. The ferret has a certain physiological resemblance to a popular (for some) bit of male anatomy. Add to that the fur, playfulness and smell and you could be dealing with a man after all. Still, there's nothing like the real thing! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Little Hawk Date: 30 Dec 00 - 10:48 AM Oh, for God's sake! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: flattop Date: 30 Dec 00 - 01:25 PM I'm pleased that you put the seat down Little Hawk. Other than that we should probably save our piliosophies of toileting until we meet. Do you realize how many men you've offended who only have that one bad habit of leaving the seat up? (WyWoman sounds like the kind of man we need around the house, Little Hawk.) I realize that you have urges to run through Orillia naked. However, I believe the proper and traditional ettiqute is that is that one person can challenge another to a duel and the other person get to decide on swords or pistols and the venue. I don't think Dylan is a sword or a pistol. Well, maybe he's a pistol, metaphorically. To initiate a duel, you are supposed to slap me with a glove or something. If you slap me with your silly orange and brown soft angora mittens with huge thumbs that you knitted to match your silly orange and brown soft angora hat while sitting for hours on the toilet, I may just laugh in your face. I hope you've burnt that knitting pattern. Don't knit me a set for next Christmas. By the way, when are you going to have enough confidence to wear mittens that don't have strings running through the arms of your jacket? Come on. Take a risk like tough Canadian boys do. Lose a mitten now and again. It's not all that tramatic. So, one afternoon you lose a mitten and can't make perfect snowballs. You'll live though it. Hitting me with your nickel studded supple leather collar won't do either. It's too stylish and inoffensive. And you can forget about using your nylon half-body harness with lined wrist & ankle cumfy cuffs. If I see you coming with that apparatus you won't get close enough to slap me. I'll run slipping and sliding through the snow up Mississauga Street to the Police station on Peter Street. The only piece of clothing that you wear that might respectably be used to initiate a duel is that 48-pocket harmonica holder. Who would not want to shoot you if they got hit over the head with a leather apron loaded with 48 harmonicas? How can you walk wearing that thing? On a more important matter, I haven't seen your written excuse on the Seamus in Snyder thread. Since Praise invited the Orillia gang to drive to Buffalo in a snowstorm, it's pretty important. Did you ever feel welcome in Buffalo before? Do you realize that, if you pass in no excuse, you will lose even more points than you would had you writing a feable excuse? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: flattop Date: 30 Dec 00 - 01:33 PM "flattop... step over here and say that." I've heard that line before Carol but I never expect American women to be ready for combat. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST,Audi Date: 30 Dec 00 - 05:30 PM Well, as an increasingly-interested lurker here, and a female empathetic to Carol's dilemma, I've got to ask: how can a woman ferret out which Mudcat men are single/available and which have already been snared? Will someone make a new thread for it? Audi |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 30 Dec 00 - 05:37 PM WHOA!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST,Audi Date: 30 Dec 00 - 05:49 PM It doesn't take a registered member to figure out that you, Mr. WHOA!!, are already caged. And it's a pity... ;) |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Amergin Date: 30 Dec 00 - 05:51 PM Sounds like someone's a bit on the desparate side.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: GUEST,Audi Date: 30 Dec 00 - 06:00 PM LOL! Amergin, is that supposed to reflect on me or on 'Mr. Whoa!!' ? I may be desperate, but I'm not desparate. ;) And, I don't intend to creep on Carol's thread, either. Will you start a new one? Audi |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: MAG (inactive) Date: 30 Dec 00 - 06:19 PM Aroostook County -- Naemanson mentioned Aroostook County -- my Dad is from there (Mars Hill). Someone else has heard of it! surrounded on 3 sides by Canada, it is. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 30 Dec 00 - 06:46 PM Amergin...that was a cheeeeeeaaaapp shot man! |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Diva Date: 30 Dec 00 - 07:11 PM So why can't you have both? Or is that just greedy? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Matt_R Date: 30 Dec 00 - 07:27 PM Audi, here you go. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: hesperis Date: 30 Dec 00 - 11:21 PM flattop, I am shocked and appalled. "piliosophies"??? "WyWoman"??? "tramatic"??? "Mississauga"??? Are you talking about the CITY or what? In Orillia, we have *Mississaga* street. He-llooo! "feable"??? What is WITH the feeble non-excuse for real spelling?!!! I do hope you realize that you also are being graded? Although you are getting good points for originality, your poor spelling is really dragging your marks down. Please correct this in future installments of your story. Amergin - While I'm on the subject of poor spelling: when you wrote "desparate", did you mean disparate or desperate? *g* |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Amergin Date: 30 Dec 00 - 11:31 PM Hesperis, that unfortunately is one of the few words I have trouble with.....I meant desperate.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: flattop Date: 30 Dec 00 - 11:49 PM Hey hessy, did Little Hawk lose a mitten and call for backup? Would like to be my proof reader? I never could spell but some days are worse than others. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Sorcha Date: 30 Dec 00 - 11:52 PM Get a Corgi. Better yet, get two. Perfect People, they are. Just ask Queen Lizzie......or me. She has 20 some, I only have 2. Time for part Two of Carol's Ferrets? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: flattop Date: 30 Dec 00 - 11:52 PM That should be 'Would you like to be my proofreader?' Probably not if I'm that sloppy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: flattop Date: 31 Dec 00 - 12:00 AM I'm not sure what you are saying Shorcha. What's a Corgi? Who should get one, hesperis or me? Will it help me spell or replace me? |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: flattop Date: 31 Dec 00 - 12:18 AM Searching the Internet I once hit a serious suicide message that someone had run through a grammar checker to highlighted all the errors. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Melani Date: 31 Dec 00 - 12:28 AM A Corgi is a dog. I'm not sure if they can spell better than you can, and as for replacement, it depends on what you want it to do. I still like rats. |
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Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret From: Haruo Date: 31 Dec 00 - 12:43 AM This thread is getting overloaded (any time you go over 100 messages in a thread you start killing off the weaker members of the browser family). Sorcha started a Part II Continuation of this Thread thread, and it would be good for the environment and everything if we would all go over there. Liland |