BS: VALY HAPPENTINES DAY!

Subject: VALY HAPPENTINES DAY!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 12:54 PM

VALY HAPPANTINES DAY

I had a horse once. Lippy Dave has NINE! Yay!

He shouldn't have paraded them through town though, even if it was the Annual VD Parade. What happened after he got arrested... it was no holiday.

The trouble started inside City Hall.

On behalf of the City, the prosecutor asks if Dave prefers to clean up the ninefold horsepuckey or pay a fine.

D.A. Vanny: "Peel shit? Pay?"

Sez Dave, "Nay, ye vapid heplants!"

His girlfriend wonders what the fuss is all about, having missed the parade by a mile. She chimes in with, "Yelpin' vents had a yap?"

Dave sez, "Yes, Ann, yap! It heal VD."

"Really?" sez the DA.

"Yup," sez Ann. "Yappy, valid, then sane."

But the horsepuckey from last year's VD parade has gone through the sewers and things are growing down there. Out of the manhole cover outside City Hall, green slimy tendrils venture forth into heavy city air.

A man standing on the corner turns to the woman standing to his left and sez, pointing, "Hey, lady!! Happantvines!"

The vines, emboldened by the greeting, surge into City Hall and scoop up the DA in mid-rant. Kicking and screaming, Vanny is dragged through the halls, down the stairs, past the security desk, out the large iron doors, across the sidewalk, and schllooooppp! down the sewer. As his screams of protest echo in awful Doppler effect, bystanders can only imagine the numerous indignities to which he will forever be subjected-- and from this time forward, they will only be able to refer to these horrific shared suppositions as "[n]".

The woman on the corner turns to the man and sez, "Dat vine slay??! Y happen?"

He's not sure whether what he has just witnessed was actually fatal. It all happened so fast! Hopefully, he sez, "I dunno..... but you know, vapid 'net play heals [n]. So maybe it'll be all write!"

~S~

(c) 2/14/01 Susan Hinton
For her dear friend, a moose.

Subject: RE: BS: VALY HAPPENTINES DAY!
From: flattop
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 01:31 PM

Catch those active verbs.

Subject: RE: BS: VALY HAPPENTINES DAY!
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 01:47 PM

LOL! Just what I needed today, I have to give an exam later...

Subject: RE: BS: VALY HAPPENTINES DAY!
From: Katcina
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 01:53 PM

GREAT SUSAN!!!

Thanks for the laugh.

Subject: RE: BS: VALY HAPPENTINES DAY!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 02:13 PM

No one's gonna contribute to it????

Come on, there's lots left!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: VALY HAPPENTINES DAY!
From: hesperis
Date: 20 Feb 01 - 10:20 PM

If I could understand it, maybe I'd contribute...

then again, maybe not.

Subject: RE: BS: VALY HAPPENTINES DAY!
From: Matt_R
Date: 20 Feb 01 - 10:25 PM

I was thinking the same thing, hesp.

Subject: RE: BS: VALY HAPPENTINES DAY!
From: Amos
Date: 20 Feb 01 - 10:59 PM

Wooda a Truckkee gran water start a Fred! Orange drano take hers? Samaddah witch Ural? Catch Gotterdung?

A

Subject: RE: BS: VALY HAPPENTINES DAY!
From: flattop
Date: 20 Feb 01 - 11:12 PM

I understand and there's no way I'm contributing!

Subject: RE: BS: VALY HAPPENTINES DAY!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Feb 01 - 11:29 PM

Maybe by St. Patrick's Day, they'll be ready to play. Of course it will be in Gaelic so I won't get a word of it.

Where are all the anagramasters from the threadfull we had a few weeks ago?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: VALY HAPPENTINES DAY!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Feb 01 - 12:16 AM

Susan...

Have you gone totally insane?

- LH