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Lyr Add: Bohemian Rhapsody (Glasgow version)

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doncam 08 Jun 01 - 05:41 PM
Amergin 08 Jun 01 - 05:55 PM
Mr Happy 29 Feb 08 - 09:21 AM
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Subject: Bohemian Rhapsody (Glasgow version)
From: doncam
Date: 08 Jun 01 - 05:41 PM

Thought you lot might be interested in the following wee ditty I discovered the other day:

Sung to the "Bohemian Rhapsody" tune by Queen !!!

Is this the real life, is it the methodone? Stuck in Maryhill, two bob fur the telephone? Open yer wine an' talk wi' a swine like me. Ahm just a weeji, gie us yer Sunny D. Cos I'll chib yer pal, rip yer Da; slash yer dug, ride yer ma! Any way the Clyde flows Disnae really mattur tae me.......tae me.

Haw Maw, just chibbed some cunt, Buckie bottle tae the heid, An noo the fuckin' bastard's deid! Haw Maw, Ahm just oan parole, An noo I'm headin back tae Barlineeeee.... Haw Maw, awwwww naw, Never meant tae steal yer purse, But if I'm no fuhll a' smack this time the morra'. Kerry oot, kerry oot! An we'll go oot oan the batter!

Too late, the bailiff's here, Sends shivers doon ma spine, Gubbed 10 jellies just in time. Goodbye all ma muckers, I've got tae go, Got tae go and rip some wank fae up the scheme. Haw Maw, awwww naw I'm a jakey bam, I sometimes think I've never been washed at all.

I see a little silhouetto of a bam, Adidas! Adidas! Can ye get us a kergo? Thunderbird, White Lightning, very very frightning to me! Twenty Mayfair, Twenty Mayfair, Twenty Mayfair and some skins, Magnifico oh oh oh oh! I'm just a vat boy, nae cunt loves me, He's just a vat boy fae a vat family! Spare us a pound fur a wee cup o tea? Get tae fuck, skanky slob, will ye get a job? Forfucksake, No! I will no' get a job! - Get a job! Forfucksake, I will no' get a job! - Get a job! Forfucksake, Will you get a job? - Get a job! Will no' get a job, get a job! Will no' get a job, get a job! No, no, no, no, no, no, no..... Oh gonorrhoea! gonorrhoea! gonorrhoea and the clap! Then doon the pub, has the barman put aside for me? For me, for meeeee!?

So you 'hink you can slash me and pish in my eye? So ye 'hink ye can chib me an' leave me to die? Haw bawbag, can't dae this tae me bawbag! Just wait till I'm oot, just wait till I'm right oot ma nut!

Fuck all really matters, Any cunt can see, Fuck all really matters, fuck all really matters to me!

Any way the Clyde flows.....

Don't know who wrote it, but the style is similar to the American Pie that is going the rounds.

All Good Things,


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Bohemian Rhapsody (Glasgow version)
From: Amergin
Date: 08 Jun 01 - 05:55 PM


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Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Bohemian Rhapsody (Glasgow version)
From: Mr Happy
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 09:21 AM

Hmmmmnn......being a sassenach, I'd need subtitles for that one!

However, here's the version famously & hilariously performed by Muppett on his perpetual world tours, last seen at Saddleworth last year!:

Naan-aa, just killed a man
Poppadom against his head
Had lime pickle, now he's dead.
Naan-aa, dinner just begun
But now I'm going to crap it all away.
Naan-aa, ooh-ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry,
Seen nothin' yet just see the loo tomorrow,
Curry on,
Curry on,
'Cause nothing really madras.

Too late, my dinner's gone
Sends shivers up my spine
Rectum aching all the time.
Goodbye every bhaji, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and use loo.
Naan-aa, ooh ooh,
This Dopiaza's mild,
I sometimes wish we'd never come here at all...

Dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink, dink,

I see a little chicken tikka on the side,
Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh pass the chutney made of mango.
Vindaloo does nicely
Very very spicey ME!
Biryani (Biryani)
Biryani (Biryani)

Biryani and a naan, (A vindaloo loo looo...)
I've eaten balti, somebody help me
She's eaten balti, get her to a lavatory
All stand well back
'Cause this loo is quarantined.
Here it comes,
There it goes,
Technicolour yawn.
I chunder
It's coming up again (There she goes)
I chunder
It's coming up again (There she goes)
It's coming up again, (Up again)
Coming up again (up again)
Here it comes again (No no no no no non o no no No).
On my knees,
I'm on my knees,
I'm on my knees
Oh there she goes
This vindaloo is about to wreck my guts
Poor me... Poor me... Poor me!

(Guitar solo)

So you think you can chunder and still it's alright?
So you want to eat curry and drink beer all night?
Ohh maybe, now you'll puke like a baby,
Just had to come out,
Just had to come right out in here....

(Guitar solo)

Korma, saag or bhuna, Balti, naan, bhaji.
Nothing makes a difference
Nothing makes a difference to me
(Anyway, my wind blows).

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