BS: Lessons our Moms taught us

Subject: RE: BS: Lessons our Moms taught us
From: Cappuccino
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 02:40 PM

I'm transfixed by that story of the water, Wesley. I never really understood the extent of segregation in the States until about the fourth time I visited, and managed to spend some time in Atlanta (I think I've got the right town) and visited Martin Luther King's grave and museum. I sat down reading some of the books there about Rosa Parks (was that the name of the lady in the bus in the 1960s?) and was absolutely transfixed.

I couldn't help myself, and said to a black girl next to me 'it's unbelievable...' and she gave me a look that went right through me. Then I went to a nearby museum, and saw a film about those days; I was sitting next to a black lady who looked about 90-odd, and I said to her 'it's awful'. And she said, very kindly: 'don't you worry son, it wasn't yo' fault!'

I know I'm off the subject of your thread - I just wanted to show appreciation of your story.

- Ian B

Subject: Lessons our Moms taught us
From: Wesley S
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 02:04 PM

I've been meaning to start this thread for a while but learning of the passings of Crowhuggers and Heather Fieldings mothers has spurred me to action. What I've realized since my mothers death this last February is that even though we learn many important things in school our most valuable and lasting lessons come from our parents.

It was about 1957 and I was around 5 years old. We had just moved from Minneapolis Minnisota to a little town in Florida called Largo - just north of St Petersburg. We were in a grocery store when I saw something that amazed me. There were two water fountains. One was labeled "White Only". I knew what white water was - I'd been drinking it all my life - I told myself. But the OTHER fountain had a sign that said "Colored Only". I couldn't wait to try it. I knew that the water from this fountain had to be special - I figured that it was either rainbow colored water or it came out as seperate colors, one at a time. I drank from it but was disappointed to see it was plain old "white" water. At this point a woman in the store started telling me how improper I was to be drinking from that fountain and that I should really get my mother to lift me up to the white fountain because that's how things were done. Do I have to tell you that the white fountain was regular height and the colored fountain was about 3 feet off the ground? At this point my mother strode up to the woman and told her to mind her own business and that the water fountain situation would be changing in the future. Later my mother explained to me that there were people in the world who thought that negros - as they were called at the time - were somehow inferior to whites. She also told me how wrong they were - that all people were equal - even if there were bigots in the world that couldn't understand. She taught me that we should view all peoples as equals.

A few years later she started working as a polling place worker. I always suspected that she did that to make sure the black population in the area had no trouble voting. I should have asked her that to make sure.

Over the years my father would make references from time to time to a loan officer at a bank that got my mother upset. She finally told us that when she and my father applied for a homeowners loan that the bank official had refused to talk to my mother. It was the late 50's and in Florida women weren't supposed to own property. That was a man's job. So when my mother would ask a question the bank man would listen to my mothers question, smile, then turn to my father to answer the question. She eventually had enough and proceeded to pin his ears back and tell him if he expected to get their business that he better start looking her in the eye. Somehow I don't think that the loan ever took place but my mother taught me that it was not only right but a lot easier to start treating women as equals.

She taught me lot more good lessons over the years but these were a couple that I remembered and mentioned in her eulogy. And as my son grows - he's 10 months old now - I can't help but wonder what lessions he'll be learning from his mother. I'll be sad that my mom won't be there to help with his raising - but I will pass those lessons along - they won't be lost. And I'll be interested to see what he learns from Hellen - his Grandmother on his mothers side.

So - what did your Mother teach you that you want to pass along ?