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BS: UK in 2025 - Taliban TV
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Subject: BS: UK in 2011 - Taliban TV From: Nemesis Date: 18 Oct 01 - 04:29 PM 2011 and the West has lost WW3. In Britain, the Al-Qaeda Government cunningly embraces the idolatrous medium of TV and unveils its latest weapon: Taliban TV! SCHEDULE: 0600am: "G-Had TV". Morning prayers. 08.30: "Talitubbies". Talitubbies say "Ah-ha!". Dipsy and Tinky-Winky repair a Stinger missile launcher. 0900: "Shouts of Praise". More prayers. 1100: "Jihad's Army". The Khandahar-on-Sea battalion repulse another attack by Imperialist, Zionist-backed Infidels. 12.00: "Ready, Steady, Jihad!". Celebrities make lethal weapons out of everyday objects. 1230: "Panoramadam". The programme reports on America's attempt to take over the World. 1330: "Xena: Modestly-Dressed Housewife". Xena stays at home and does some cooking. 1400: "Only Fools and Camels". Dhal-boy offloads some Chinese rocket launchers to Hamas. 1430: "Green Peter". The total of Kalashikovs bought by the milk bottle top appeal is revealed. 1500: "Madrasah Challenge". Two more Islamic colleges meet. Bambah Kaskhain asks the questions, 'Starter for ten - no praying'. 1530: "I Love 629". A look back at the events of the year, including the Prophet's entry into Mecca, and the destruction of pagan idols. 1600: "Question Time". Members of the public face questions from political and religious leaders. 1700: "Koranation Street". Deidre faces executution by stoning for adultery. 1730: "Middle-East-Enders". The entire cast is jailed for un-Islamic activities. 1800: "Holiday". The team go on pilgrimage to Mecca. Again. 1830: "Top of the Prophets". Will The Koran be No. 1 for the 63,728th week running? 1900: "Who wants to be a Mujahadeen?" Mahmoud Tarran asks the questions. Will contestants phone a mullah, go 'Inshallah' or ask the Islamic Council? 2000: FILM: "Shariah's Angels". The three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover to expose an evil scheme to educate women. 2130: "Big Brother". Who will be taken out of the house and executed this week? 2230: "Shahs in their eyes". More hopefuls imitate famous destroyers of the Infidels. 2330: "They Think It's Allah Over". Quiz culminating in 'don't feel the Mullah round'. 0000: "When Imans Attack". Amusing footage shot in mosques. The filmers were also secretly shot. 0030: "The West Bank Show". Arts programme looking at anti-Israel graffiti art in the occupied territories. 0130: "Bhufi the Infidel Slayer". 0200: "The Gaza Strip". The adult hour where couples discuss their favourite strategic positions. 0300: "A Book At Bedtime". The Koran. Again.
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