Can anyone help.

Subject: Can anyone help.
From: MARINER
Date: 19 Oct 01 - 05:35 PM

My dear wife of 27 years has been told that she has an inoperable bowel cancer that has spread to her stomach. Can anyone give me any hope??. Does anyone know of someone in a similar situation and how long they survived?. I'm completely distraught, my heart feels like its been torn from my body. I don't know what to do or think that will help us. Our family are around us and we give each other some degree of solace. Can anyone tell me of someone who survived for a length of time with a decent quality of life?.One Doctor says a couple of months, the other a year plus. Sorry if this sounds incoherent, I even find it difficult to type this. Please , is there any hope ?

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Oct 01 - 05:53 PM

Mariner, I am so sorry. I wish you both the best. I know the feeling of being helpless in the face of such news. My brother died two years ago after a 12 year battle. Keep in mind that doctors are the first to admit that they don't know how long an individual can live, that they have to go on statistics.

The good thing is that my brother's last years were fulfilling for him and for all of us. We were all grateful for that extra amount of time.

My prayers for you both for a good outcome and a happy life for you both.

Ebbie

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Deda
Date: 19 Oct 01 - 05:56 PM

I'm sorry, I have no idea and no answer, I just wanted to say how sorry I was to read what you're going through. I tried to go read other posts but I couldn't. My prayers go with you, too.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Noreen
Date: 19 Oct 01 - 05:58 PM

The hope that I have for you, (((Mariner))), is that you and your wife enjoy and share whatever time you have together, however long or short it may be, with your family around you.

There is a lot more I could say, which may be more appropriate later when the news had had time to sink in, but there will always be people here who care about you and who will listen, offering support and comfort.

With love to you and your wife,

Noreen

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Nemesis
Date: 19 Oct 01 - 06:10 PM

Dear Mariner,

I am SOsorry to hear about your wife. I don't know if you are in UK or where you are - but I do know that in UK in situations like this the NHS just don't seem to be geared up to give answers (a friend has just been diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic cancer a year after complaining of appalling stomach pains and basically being told to stop moaning and now has 6 - 12 months apparently).

As you can get on the Web have a look for BACUP (if in UK) - your consultant should have already pointed you in this direction and in the direction of Macmillan nurses, I hope? What you need is information and there are many many sites on the web that can give you a clearer picture of this prognosis. If you are in the USA then I would say that the resources seem to be much better there than they are here.

In my friend'case, altho he is taking massive amounts of morphine he also found a QUALIFIED Medical Herbalist and whatever herbs he is being treated with has made a huge and tangible difference. I can't say that they will save his life but they are making a big difference to his quality of life. The other thing to investigate is shark oil enzyme - there is very little research on this in the UK - but, if in UK, you could speak to Helios Pharmacy Tunbridge Wells 01892 536393 and you could try (again) a qualified Homeopath - a local one here (altho' currently in Australia) is President of the national Homeopathic Assoc - and treated a friend's young daughter with a rare form of childhood lung cancer, and also helped her with the chemotherapy side-effects giving her an acknowledged extra year of life.

Altho' my Grandfather died of bowel cancer (over 40 years ago - so treatment has changed dramatically) I know very little about it (apart from the signs to look for - and for which I currently have tests for). Personally, I can also suggest that your wife is seen by a dietician and nutritionalist and if, and only if, approved, then she eats as fresh a diet as possible - raw food before she starts a meal, apples and paw-paw, etc..

I believe that whilst there's life there's hope. Trust your instincts and do not be intimidated by the medical profession. Say your prayers and stay strong - as terrible as it is for everyone around her your wife needs your strength to cope with what she's going through and also as a wife (and mother)to cope with what her family are going through on her behalf.

God bless and I hope that other people can also help more than I can..you are in my prayers.

Hille xx

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Mr Red
Date: 19 Oct 01 - 06:54 PM

Keep talking, making plans. Power of positive thought and all that. It's something you can do. Best of luck Pal.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: 53
Date: 19 Oct 01 - 07:36 PM

keep thinking positive, and do a lot of praying, and i'm sure you wiil survive.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Roughyed
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 03:52 AM

Live each moment as fully as you can, be as aware as you can and help as much as you can. I'm sorry everything sounds trite in such a situation but my love goes to you both.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: MARINER
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 04:47 AM

Thank you all for your advice and kind words. The shock of it all is more so because only the primary tomour showed up on scans. We were sure that once she had the op. everything would be fine, in time. Then this arose two days ago. It breaks my heart that she will be leaving us and will never see our two lovely grandchildren grow up and that they will not remember what a lovely ,caring Gran she was. Thank you all very much, sorry if I upset anyone. It was getting late last night and I was alone and needed someone to connect with.Thank you all again.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Sarah the flute
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 08:21 AM

So sorry to hear your sad news. My dad died of prostate cancer that had spread last year and what I can tell you is the support my mum received from the Macmillan nurse team and social services teams was unbelievable and an enormous help at a time when the family were feeling distressed, too distressed to cope with the usual mundane chores of life. Be careful to make time for yourself as well and keep your strength as you will need it. Plan as much as you can together because if the worst does happen it makes things much easier afterwards.

On a more positive note, my half sister was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1979. She responded to treatment. Then cancer returned with avengence 3 years ago and spread throughout her body. A year and a half ago she was in hospital in a coma given a few hours to live. She pulled through against all expectations and is now back playing the piano and driving her car. She knows it is only a remission but lives and enjoys life to the full with the help of pain control.

Never give up hope Sarah

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Willa
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 08:27 AM

Don't know whether this is feasible, Mariner; your wife may not be well enough to do it, but with the wonders of modern technology you could video her, so that your grandchildren can see her in the future. There is nothing I can say to help you, but in my family we talk a lot about our parents, so that the youngest granchildren, though they never saw them, have some sort of picture of them.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: vindelis
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 10:11 AM

I am sorry to hear your news. My father was diagnosed with bowel cancer, it was treated successfully and he lived a full and happy life for five years before it returned. He died a year later. My mother, also, found that the NHS, MacMillan nurses (and the Benefits Agency) very supportive.

Our only regret is that he never got round to recording all the songs he had written over the years. We have the lyrics (but no tunes) to some; and scraps of our own memories for the rest.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: catspaw49
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 10:39 AM

Mariner, I can only say that I hold good thoughts for you both and for your entire family. Enjoy every moment you can. That's good advice for anyone.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 11:08 AM

I can only help with good thoughts and prayers -- but know we're sending plenty your way. DO try to be keep thinking positive thoughts and enjoy every minute you have together. I know it's the uncertainty that's the hardest . . .

Again, on a positive note, my father was told *22 years* before he passed away last year to take early medical retirement and "go home and enjoy what little time you have left." The "little time" turned out to be 22 years. (Emphysema and related heart problems were what he succumbed to.)

Our hearts and thoughts are with you.

Bat Goddess

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Mooh
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 11:10 AM

Can I help? Not beyond what's been said here and my own hopes and prayers. I will hope and pray for you and yours.

I hope you will take comfort in the thoughts of Mudcatters who respond here, everyone has their thoughts experiences, and they're all valid and sincere. Please let us know how everything turns out.

I realized recently that I'd added a catagory to my personal prayers for internet acquaintances, something the writers of prayer books hadn't envisioned. The world gets smaller all the time, which is good when you need help.

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From:
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 11:15 AM

There is a German doctor who has treated many advanced cancer cases with a pretty simple remedy consisting of, among other things, but this is the key, flaxseed oil and cottage cheese. They somehow bond together so that the effect is quite powerful in many cases. Her name I believe is Dr. Johanna Budwig. I'll look up some info and post a URL. In fact, I used to be on an email list that discussed that but must have been disconnected...I'll check. There is some hope. mg

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From:
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 11:24 AM

Her name is Dr. Johanna Budwig and here are the urls for the flaxseed oil list. If you do a google search under her name you will find a lot of stuff.

cliff check bottom of product list, left hand corner

Even though ye do it unto the least of these my bretheran ye do it unto me. In August we will provide flaxseed oil free to those with cancer who qualify.   Dr. Johanna Budwig has been curing terminal cancer with this and cottage cheese for many years.   Even though she was nominated for a Nobel prize, she has been ignored by the media. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ When Sam's advanced formula is available (July 1st) we will provide it free to anyone who honestly cannot afford the modest price.   To qualify, one must submit a statement, via the mail, stating that they honestly cannot afford Sam's formula, plus their SS#. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ There are no strings attached to anything we offer.  When either product is available, we will mention it in our free newsletter.

For those who feed the hungry and down-and-out, we will provide Sam's mini formula free every quarter.   We can think of no better cause than helping those who desperately need a vitamin supplement.   Please submit a request in writing, on your letterhead, stating your project and amount needed to: Generic-co-op Box 291 Hardy AR 72529

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e.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From:
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 11:25 AM

sorry...didn't mean to post the whole message there.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: celticblues5
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 11:52 AM

Hope and the spiritual component of treatment are always important in working with cancer. If you are in the U.S., there are cancer treatment centers that work with a whole range of complementary approaches, combining medical treatments with imaging and other adjunct therapies.

Hospice is another service to consider. There are hospice houses that provide in-house patient care, but you can also get services in the home. Hospice nurses are dedicated to providing the best quality of life to patients, and are particularly oriented to pain management and interaction with the families.

Best of luck to your wife and you (and the rest of your family). Be sure that you take some time for yourself as you help care for her - you need stress relief to keep yourself healthy.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 12:35 PM

I am so sorry. I hope you can take some time to look over what maryg. has posted.

Please know that we are here anytime you need to cry, rant, talk, sing, listen; it's what Mudcat is all about, helping each other through such sorrowful times.

My thoughts of Love, Light, Life and Healng are sent your way with a thanks giving that all works out for the highest good of all concerned.

Please check in when you are able. You will be on our mnds and in our hearts.

Blessed Be, kat

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Learchild
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 06:24 PM

Dear Mariner, we all wish that the love and concern sent to you by all who have read your message brings you hope and comfort. Be sure we are all putting as much energy as we can into our thoughts for you and your family.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: The_one_and_only_Dai
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 07:02 PM

I think it's all been said above, mariner, and i'm here to listen as well, mate.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Peg
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 08:20 PM

I am sorry to hear about your wife's illness.

If it helps you, I have two friends (alive and well and cencer-free) who were each diagnosed with "inoperable" forms of cancer; one had stomach cancer and one had brain cancer. But they are now cured. I daresay their ability to think positively and maintain hope they would get better helped them find health again. They are also pagan and their connection the earth gave them great strength. I believe it has been documented that some form of spiritual faith helps in these times. I know I have seen very sick people gain their complete health back after some witches performed healing magic for them; and of course some studies have shown that prayer (similar to magic actually) also helps people heal.

Cancer is scary. Allow yourself to feel this fear as you need to, know but also know people beat this disease every day! Your wife may be one of the fortunate ones who manages to leave it behind.

Best wishes and stay positive!

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From:
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 10:45 PM

it is also very important to get out in the sun every day...depending on where you are, maybe an hour. Just have her wrap up in a blanket and sit in a rocking chair if she is not able to be out walking etc.

mg

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Gypsy
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 11:39 PM

Diet made a huge difference in my friend with ovarian cancer. She lived far longer, and more comfortably, than most who went with alloepathic meds. It was totally vegan, organic, foods that she ate. NO meat, and virtually no dairy. Don't know if it will help your beloved, but might be an idea. My heart goes out to you, and your dear partner.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: wysiwyg
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 02:31 AM

Mariner, how lucky she is to be so loved. Tho loving her so much makes this hurt that much more, for you, it's the love we all remember most strongly... on earth and beyond, I believe. Loving is always right, and powerful beyond our understanding.

You both have my prayers already.... would you like this sent on to the Prayer Chain as well? It includes mostly Mudcatters, but many of them are not here often enough to catch these urgent needs right away, so I would send them the URL here to come see.

~Susan

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: MARINER
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 08:14 AM

Thank you all for your kind words of comfort. My wife is beginning to get her old positive attitude back and figuring out how to beat this. I nfact she is more positive than I.The difficulty of keeping up a positive aura is breaking me up. I can hold it together when I'm with her, but as soon as I leave I crack up.But, I am getting there and as soon as she comes home to us we will work together on this.Nonetheless my heart is aching and I can't prevent it. My middle son is due home from Cambodia this afternoon and that thought has perked my wife up greatly, in fact her whole demeanor has altered positively as she begins to recover from the effects of her surgery. There still is hope and we , her family must all remember that. Thank you all again, your words are a great comfort in a time when comfort is so badly needed. Thank you .

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Amos
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 10:22 AM

My instinct would be to make a radical change in diet -- probably one focusing on simple greens. But I would seek out more experienced advice than that if I were you.

When medicine uses words like inoperable, to me, it is time to seek alternative remedies from knowledgeable practitioners.

Here is one source of reliable, peer reviewed information. There are probably many others.

Regards,

A.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Mudlark
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 01:19 PM

Dear Mariner...Just wanted to add my thoughts and good wishes to the above. So glad to hear your dear wife is getting her own positive viewpoint back...I know you will be able to support her in this. Happiness is a wonderful curative...dont overlook even mundane things like comedy videos to watch together. I agree re not getting overwhelmed by the medical establishment. They have much to offer but so does alternative modalities, and (in contrast to many doctors these days) the personal attention, sympathy and caring one is more liable to get through them is also very helpful. The human body is a complex and fantastic mechanism, little understood even by professionals. Follow your instincts and your heart. I will be thinking of you.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 03:27 PM

Mariner, is it certain that the cancer is inoperable?

My mother had what sounds like exactly the same condition – cancer of the upper or transverse part of the large intestine which had spread to her adjacent stomach. She had surgery in which they removed part of her intestine and part of her stomach, and she recovered nicely. Biopsies showed no spread of the cancer to other nearby organs and no cancer cells in her lymph nodes. This was last January. After the surgery, we moved her to a nursing home and she is thriving there.

She originally went into the hospital because of undiagnosed weakness, which we now know was caused by a combination of anemia (probably due to intestinal bleeding) and low blood sugar (she has type II diabetes, and wasn't eating properly or taking her medicine properly). The intestinal cancer wasn't diagnosed until after she was admitted. Then the stomach involvement wasn't discovered until she was in surgery.

Afterwards, the surgeon told us that the cancer had probably been growing for months and had probably been causing pain, although my mother had never complained of it. (She's a rather stoical type.)

My mother is 88 years old. She is thriving now that the cancer is gone, and someone is watching her diet, testing her blood sugar regularly, and seeing that she takes her medicine on schedule.

I don't want to give you false hope, though. It may be that in your wife's case the cancer has already metastasized. I suppose that would change the picture greatly.

But if they haven't told you how they KNOW your wife's cancer is inoperable, you need to at least get an explanation, and if the explanation leaves any doubts in your mind, get a second opinion.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: vectis
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 06:35 PM

My uncle had bowel cancer and promptly went to California for operation and treatment. So far so good. He did not trust the NHS and was lucky enough to have medical insurance and enough dosh for the flights etc.
One thing that is recommended is a complete change of lifestyle to reduce stress. Whatever your wife REALLY wants to do with her life, get on and DO IT. It won't do any harm and it might just be enough to tip the balance in her favour.
Good luck to you all.

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From: Genie
Date: 22 Oct 01 - 01:16 AM

I'm afraid I have no helpful information, but I want to say my thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife.
Genie

Subject: RE: Can anyone help.
From:
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 12:38 AM

Dear Mariner, I was just looking up different kinds of healing foods and well you might already know this but, I found out that cabbage is a natural healer for the stomach and bowel.Just type in cabbage and you will find it.I hope this helps.May God bless your wife with good health...and may God bless you.