PIRATE JOKES (Needed For Concert)

Subject: RE: PIRATE JOKES (Needed For Concert)
From: GUEST,Barracuda
Date: 13 Sep 02 - 06:51 PM

Pervert

Subject: RE: PIRATE JOKES (Needed For Concert)
From: fogie
Date: 14 Sep 02 - 06:36 AM

Can anyone remember a seriously funny radio skit on pirates three or four years ago probably by people like Punt and Dennis (UK) The pirates weren't satisfied with their lot and were ready to mutiny The captain assumed that they wanted more rum etc. but their union rep wanted things like an away-day, and a creche, and to speak properly , and use other tenses other than the present, when the captain said that he'd keelhaul them they started quoting all sorts of civil rights at him. I really wish I could quote it.

Subject: RE: PIRATE JOKES (Needed For Concert)
From: Amos
Date: 14 Sep 02 - 02:43 PM

Pirate 1: Aaaaarrrrrrrgh!
Pirate 2: Foine, thanks --- Arrrrgh you???

Badabooom!


A

Subject: RE: PIRATE JOKES (Needed For Concert)
From: GUEST,Just Amy
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 01:43 PM

Just spent the weekend with pirates and had to update this thread.

What's a pirate's favorite restaurant? Arrrrrrby's

What kind of socks do pirates wear? Arrrrgyle

What do pirates pay to get their ears pierced? About a buck an ear

What is what is a sheep's favorite movie? Shawshank Redemption (well, it was funny after the rum).

Subject: RE: PIRATE JOKES (Needed For Concert)
From: reggie miles
Date: 24 Sep 02 - 12:16 AM

There's a silly pirate story that I wrote and posted on the Mudcat Story Tellers' Page called The One What Bitsed Me Washboard's Leg Off. It's a long winded little illiterate alliteration suitable for listeners of all ages and should be recited using your best pirate voice, Arr! You can find it via Aine's Mudcat Songbook Page in the quick links box at the top right corner of the main forum page.

Subject: RE: PIRATE JOKES (Needed For Concert)
From: GUEST,fred miller
Date: 24 Sep 02 - 12:26 PM

My kids liked a kid version of a previous joke. A man has a pirate squirel living in his backyard and everyday asks him what he's doing. "I'm gathering me nuts for the winter." Next day "Aye, I'm putting me nuts in me tree for the winter."

One day the man looks out and sees a ship's wheel sticking out of the pirate squirel's tree hole, and says "pirate squirel--is that a ship's wheel stuck in your door there?" The squirel says "Aye, it's driving me nuts."

They get the joke but seem to enjoy the idea of a pirate squirel more than the punch-line.

Subject: RE: PIRATE JOKES (Needed For Concert)
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 19 Aug 05 - 09:36 PM

referesh - last post just begs for an answer...

Subject: RE: PIRATE JOKES (Needed For Concert)
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Aug 05 - 09:51 PM

More pirate alphabet, this time with phrases!

A, U!

O, L!

Y, O, Y?

R U N? S I M!

Subject: RE: PIRATE JOKES (Needed For Concert)
From: Hillheader
Date: 20 Aug 05 - 08:43 AM

A pirate with a wooden leg, hook and eye patch goes into a bar on the quayside. After a few drinks he getting chatting to the barman.

"You look as though you've seen some action" said the barman. "How did to get the wooden leg?". "A cannonball blew it clean away" said the pirate. "And the hook?" asked the barman. "Cutlass fight, in a bar just like this one" was the reply. "What about the patch then?" "Aaargh" said the pirate, "A seagull shit in it". "You're winding me up" said the barman. "You cannot lose your eye if a seagull shits in it!".
"Yes you can lad, yes you can" said the the pirate wiping the patch with the hook.

I'll get my coat.............

Subject: RE: PIRATE JOKES (Needed For Concert)
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 20 Aug 05 - 09:27 AM

Why a Pirate would be a lousy Santa

Because he would always say "Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Rum"

Subject: RE: PIRATE JOKES (Needed For Concert)
From: Charlie Baum
Date: 21 Aug 05 - 01:57 AM

A pirate walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that?"
And the parrot answers, "On the high seas."

(Deconstruction of a joke Robin Williams tells at the end of "The Aristocrats")

Subject: RE: PIRATE JOKES (Needed For Concert)
From: Leadfingers
Date: 21 Aug 05 - 07:07 AM

What about a Non PC ( mildly racist) Pirate Joke ?

An Afro-Carribean pirate walks into a doctors with a parrot on his Head The Doc says "How can I help you ?" and the Parrot says " Can you do something about this blackhead on my foot ?"