FAREWELL - from 53/Bob

Subject: FAREWELL
From: 53
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 10:00 PM

you guys have witnessed my last thread and my last post, i know that this will make your nice little forum a lot better and most of you have already said, so i won't say it's been nice, but fare the well. BOB

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 10:05 PM

Hey BOB. Is Glenda there with you?

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 10:06 PM

I mean is she there with you now?

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 10:21 PM

What did you expect? Another one driven off.

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: GUEST,Whistle and Bagpipes
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 10:26 PM

Bob - don't go!

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 10:28 PM

Bob, whatever you do, take care and best wishes,

Jon

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 10:32 PM

Listen 53... I'm not really a catter. I dug in here a couple of months ago and don't really have a clue about a big joint like this but I do have a clue about folks. One thing I have observed about this place is that no matter how smart you are there is always some one a tad smarter, or prettier or more talented, experienced or worldly. Like you, I'm from a small town where everyone knows everyone and everyone's business. We call it Tweedsblues. net and it's nice to hang out there. It gives you the confidence to deal with the big city, with all the smart and smartass folks. But that's the city. How about checkin into Tweeds for two or thre weeks, my friend. Then you'lll come back with not only an intimate joint to gather some strength from but also strength to come back here and wrestle with the Catboxers.

Hey, if this is none of my business, then forgive me, my friend. No matter. If you'd like to hang out at Tweeds, bring your own cooler and folding chair.

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 10:32 PM

Bob,
This nice little forum has been better since you arrived. Why leave? One minute you're sharing 50s nostalgia with us, next you're leaving. Think it over and stay.
Mary

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: DonMeixner
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 11:08 PM

Bob,

Do what you gotta do. I liked your posts and I always expected there was more to them than what was up front. Anyway your welcome at my mail box anytime, I'll miss ya.

Don

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: wysiwyg
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 11:14 PM

I'll make sure that Bob gets a transcript of these kind remarks, if he does not stick around. If you want to e-mail him, send it to me and I will forward it.

~Susan

[e-mail]

Put MUDCAT in the subject line please

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: khandu
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 11:14 PM

Sorry for your departure, but, do as you must. I enjoyed you while you were here and hope you will return.

Grace and Peace to you,

khandu

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: Steve in Idaho
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 11:23 PM

Well hell Bob - I sure didn't expect this but I'm with the rest - you're welcome any old time on my front porch. You take care and let me know how you're doin - Love to you and yours

Steve

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: Tweed
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 11:28 PM

Ya BOB, yer welcome to hone yer skills at the Tweedboard, where no subject is considered to be too inane and if it's borderline inane we just duct tape you to a tree til you calm down. Boberdz could use a break anyway as we've taped him to just about everything available. Bring a lawnchair and get set up like Bobert says. You might learn some blues riffs over there if you hang around long enough. You'll definitely learn about some Blues musicians and music.
Click to Tweed's

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: katlaughing
Date: 23 Jan 02 - 11:42 PM

Bob, I appreciated your posts in the depression thread, esp. as you were so open with us about your situation. I am sorry that you were treated badly in a couple of the other threads. I used to get flamed a lot, a few years back on this forum and my friends kept telling me not to give the flamers the satisfaction of my leaving, so I stayed and I am glad I did. I hope you will think about this and stick around, if it feels comfortable.

Peace and Light,

kat

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: DougR
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 12:13 AM

Bob: Do what you feel you must do, but I've enjoyed your posts and hope you decide to come back.

DougR

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: Genie
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 02:10 AM

Bob,

I hate to see you go so soon, 'cause Mudcat really is a worthwhile and, usually, friendly site.

I'm not familiar with most of your posts (apparently, since I don't read too many "BS" threads), but it's true that my introduction to you was when you posted a cutting comment to my "Karaoke equipment" thread quite obviously without having read the premise of the thread or my posts.

It's not that I was bothered so much by your post, but I can't help but wonder if that is your normal M.O.

If so, I am not surprised that some folks bit you back.

You did sort of apologize later, though, and I appreciated that.

If you feel you must leave the Cafe, it is, of course, your choice.

But I, for one, see no reason for you to leave.  I even found your comments somewhat funny, even if they did tend to 'derail' my thread.

I'd be glad to have you stick around.

Genie

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: Deckman
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 02:21 AM

CHEERS, Bob(deckman)Nelson

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: Cappuccino
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 02:36 AM

Mail us any time - through www.skywriter.demon.co.uk

All the best - IanB

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 05:05 AM

Bob - its never too late to change your mind. Sometimes you have to take the rough with smooth & it can be worth it.
Hope you do change your mind.

Kris

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 05:06 AM

I'd say, 'Bob, DON'T go'...though if you feel you must, my best wishes go with you.

I cant remember what thread or what post prompted me to look, but I checked back on all Bob & Glenda's posts, & was suprised to find he'd been here a lot longer than I thought. Take a look yourelves, & you'll see that back then, before, presumably Bob was on this present medication, he was as witty, articulate & intelligent in his posts as the best here. We arent seeing the true Bob at all at the moment, it seems, as it cant be denied that some commesnts of Bob's have been in VERY poor taste, of late.....some of his posts are hard to understand his reasoning, or the way he phrases it......& that Bob has on occasion misinterpreted whats been said to him, or the motives behind it.

I know I actually took him for a Troll at one point, but happily Bob has either forgotten that, or I've redeemed myself somehow in his eyes.

Hmmm...I seem to be just rambling on here to no real purpose, so I'll shut up.

I'm happy to know, WYSIWYG, that youre going to pass this on to Bob & Glenda. I for one, & it looks like everyone else, wouuld be sorry to see him/them go.

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 09:12 AM

Thanks, Paul. I have suggested to Bob that after a break he may see things differently. As some of you know, I know a little bit about that and I have corresponded at some length with a number of others in the same situation... so I will continue to stay in touch with Bob and Glenda, and hope 53 can return. Maybe as two memberships this time with two new names.

I want to comment on one aspect of this... about some of the posts people thought were so mean toward Bob. Yes, I agree, a lot of them were just nasty and uncaring. But some of them, I think, provided a reality check, especially when they let Bob know that a post he had made didn't make any sense. When you are trying to get things under control, sometimes you have no idea what is making sense and what is not. I think it was fair for people to let Bob know how they took some of his posts, and in the long run that may prove to have been helpful, although it was probably difficult to hear. I think what was unnecessary and probably hurtful was that some people expressed that "on the offensive," and not by saying how they felt, but by characterizing Bob or his posts. I guess it's just hard to say, sometimes, "when you do such and such, I feel like...." instead of "you are a so-and-so."

~Susan

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: SDShad
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 10:47 AM

Well, damn.

I've long had a personal policy to just not respond to trolls and flaming, be they from an anonytroll guest or from a regular. It only fans the fire, and you'll rarely convince them their behavior is inappropriate. And I've been successful at keeping to that pledge most of the time. I know, I know, I don't really post that much any more, so that helps in keeping one's yap shut.

But wouldn't you know that the one time in ages I jump into one (the D-Chord thread, which in true Mudcat fashion has this morning started to actually evolve into a useful thread), it's exactly the wrong one to do. I hadn't even clicked on the "sliding into depression" thread, let alone read it, before posting on the D-Chord thread--still haven't except for a brief skim. I felt, and still do, that the "D" thread was started almost entirely as a personal attack on Spaw from the get-go--and it didn't help that when I challenged Bob on that he jumped right to the left-field conclusion that I was obviously a completely "undeveloped" player, which of course pushed my buttons, being still a mildly sensitive issue for me since it's been a long, slow, self-taught learning curve for me from hack strummy guy to mostly halfway-decent rhythm player--but had I read the "depression" thread, I would've stayed out of it. I don't think I actually flamed Bob, but having more of the full story, I regret having made those posts. Had I known what buttons I was pushing, I'd've had no eagerness to push 'em--a cheap, lazy combination of shootin' fish in a barrel and kickin' a feller while he's down.

And, as Susan has been so rightly pointing out to us for a long time, there's not substitute for actually getting to know another human being.

So you have my apologies, Bob. You're in a hard place, and I shouldn't have made it worse. Like I said in the "D" thread, I have seen you make some very worthwhile posts--the bit in the squeaky-string-noise thread was, as others have pointed out, downright poetic--and I hope you're able to get away, get some perspective, and come back. Whenever a forum is upsetting you too much, I think it is a good idea to take a break for a bit, but I do hope it's not permanent.

Best wishes,

Chris

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: JedMarum
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 10:57 AM

Sorry to see you go BOB. I hope you'll reconsider, I know it can be a bit bumpy here, at times but more often then not; we don't mean to be ... anyway all the best to you whatever you decide.

-Jed

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: DougR
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 12:10 PM

Chris: I had no idea someone was taking a shot at Spaw, or anyone else on that thread! Talk about gullible. I thought it was kind of funny because I couldn't imagine any lousy guitar players who could not play a D chord.

I haven't entered the "Depressed" thread, and frankly did not know Bob had been having some of the problems that have been described in this thread. I chided him about in the Skarpi thread and he hastily sent me a PM apology, when, in fact, he owed me none.

DougR

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: GUEST,ghost
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 12:31 PM

Deckman, until I sawwed yer post. I was thinkin' that this Bob (Bob53) might be you. Whew! Had me worried. I thought I was gonna hafta call and find out what wuz shakin'.

Bob 53, I've read yer posts as well. Believe it. You'll be missed. If we don't see ya in the future, we'll saw ya in the pasture. ;o)

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: Tiger
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 05:21 PM

Hey, people come and people go.

Personally, I'd like just about everyone to stay. The pot needs to be stirred, so to speak. Just 'slong as they keep coming back to music.

But what's with all this hand wringing, rationalization and guilt tripping?

Cripes! Get real, guys.

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Jan 02 - 05:57 PM

I don't think anyone is doing that, Tiger.... did you come into this just now? There is some information behind the posts above that I think shows that we are trying to address a real complex situation the best we can.

~S~

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: SharonA
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 04:35 PM

Bob 53: I'm very sorry to see that you've decided to stop posting to the Mudcat Forum, however temporarily. As Susan (WYSIWYG) says, it may be a good thing to take a break from the Forum and gain some perspective, but the circumstances that led to that break aren't pleasant ones, and I feel for you in your present situation.

As you may know, I've read your posts to the "BS: sliding into a depression" thread, and I am quite distressed at what you are going through. I have a niece that struggles with the same problem, as well as an acquaintance at my local folk club, and I know from observation that life is not at all easy for you. I hope you'll find what you need to get the problem under control, so you can spend more time enjoying your music and your guitar playing. Also, I hope you'll find a way to keep from letting us other humans set you off or get you down.

Please add my name to the list of people who want you to return. I've enjoyed your thread about the TV shows of the 1950s, the lead guitar vs. rhythm guitar discussion, the earl scruggs thread, and the "Hardest Chord That You Play" thread. Your other guitar-playing threads including "Old Beaters" (guitars one keeps around to knock around), "Why Did You Want to Play the Guitar?", "Guitars in General" (what model have you played for how long) and "Guitar Playing" (is it work or pleasure?) are fun, too! Sorry it took us so long to stop fooling around and get down to business on your Dave Clark Five thread, but once I started looking seriously for links I learned some new things about the group! As a baseball fan, I appreciated the "World Series" threads as well (hope you didn't mind too much that I rooted for Arizona, but Schilling is a former Phillie so I felt some connection there!).

I've got to say, though, that my favorite thread of yours is "What's in a guitar?" since you revealed a bit more of your poetic side (as you did in the thread on string noise). Every so often, you let out some really profound thoughts!

So here's hoping we'll see you 'round here again. In the meantime... have you noticed? Lyrics World is back!!! Yippeeee! I know you've missed that site, same as I have.

Take care, Bob, and be as well as you can possibly be! Love to you and Glenda too. Enjoy that ukelele-playing granddaughter of yours!

Sharon

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: 53
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 06:31 PM

I am 53/Glenda.

I have just read this thread in its entirety. 'Thank you' to those of you who have shown here that my original feelings about the community at Mudcat were basically a correct assessment.

To those of you who have shared that you wish Bob would not leave I wish to say: he'll be here reading. He hasn't left yet. But he has suffered much hurt at the hands of a few and says he will not let anyone push his buttons to the point that he posts any of his outbursts again.

Perhaps one day some doctor will find what he needs and help, but for now ......

Oh, well, -- Susan and others, thank you so much.

Glenda

Subject: RE: FAREWELL
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 25 Jan 02 - 06:55 PM

Glenda, I saw what Spaw told BOB in the rhythm/lead guitar thread. He said

Whatever you are motivated to do, you'll do. Motivation is an "inside job"....always has been, always will be. Whatever someone else thinks or believes or trys to get you to do or not do isn't worth the fine hair on a fat frog's ass.

So no, you shouldn't try. It's a waste of time and you're far too stupid and lack any semblance of talent in that direction not to mention that your learning skills are shot to hell and there is no good reason to do it anyway.

OR

Go for it man! Learn all of those licks you've been dying to do for decades. You've been practicing non-stop and there's no where to go but up and your guitar skills have never been better. No time like now to become a combination Tony McManus and Eric Clapton!

FINALLY

Who gives a shit besides you and why ask us? It's your call, not ours.

Spaw

Now, to someone who hasn't been around Catspaw much, this looks like a put down. But I think I know what Spaw's intent was : I think he was trying to encourage BOB to light a fire under himself and make it happen for himself. I don't think any meanness was intended. Hell, Spaw calls me a thick-headed briar most of the time. But I think that's his way of saying people matter to him. When our Mudcat Founder Max was in the dumps, Spaw starts a "Kick Max in the Balls" thread. Taking crap from Catspaw has always been a tradition, as much so as making fun of him. In fact, a lot of us have a habit of giving each other trouble on this forum. It's meant in fun.

Now, Bob, I hope you don't go away. A guy who likes so many of the same guitarists as I do must be alright. And as for starting all those threads...somebody's got to do it, and I think you did alright.

So get your head out of your ass and pick up your guitar, or post here, or give Glenda a back-rub. Just don't go away pissed or we'll all think you're just a sorehead.

:>}LEJ