BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments

Subject: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 03:55 PM

In looking through www.twainquotes.com, I noticed he had a couple of ones on instruments and thought I'd share them. Sorry, if you are already familar with them. Please feel free to post some of your favs regarding musical instruments, too, no matter the author.

ON FIDDLERS

We consider that the man who can fiddle all through one of those Virginia reels without
losing his grip, may be depended upon in any kind of emergency.

- Letter to Virginia City Territorial Enterprise, January 1863

THE BANJO

When you want genuine music--music that will come right home to you like a bad quarter,
suffuse your system like strychnine whisky, go right through you like Brandreth's pills,
ramify your whole constitution like the measles, and break out on your hide like the
pin-feather pimples on a picked goose,--when you want all this, just smash your piano, and
invoke the glory-beaming banjo!

- "Enthusiastic Eloquence," San Francisco Dramatic Chronicle, 6/23/1865

You can see a picture of Twain with his banjo by clicking HERE

Thanks,

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: Don Firth
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 04:15 PM

"The guitar is an orchestra in miniature."
          --attributed to various people, usually Beethoven, Berlioz, or Schubert.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: Miken
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:06 PM

I've heard the following attributed to Mark Twain, on the accordeon "I have developed a disgusting and idolatrous affection for it"

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:57 PM

I love it, Miken! Thanks to you and to Don...good ones!

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 12:57 AM

In the link it says:

Special effects
composite photo
of Clemens
with a banjo
courtesy of
Dave Thomson

I don't understand- is this a real photo of Twain or not? Off the top of my head, I'd say it appears that D. Thomson superimposed a Mark Twain photo with a photo of a banjo. Did Twain play the banjo? I'd like to believe he did, but I don't remember ever hearing it said.

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 01:25 AM

Good catch, Ebbie. I don't know about the elements of that photo, but according to the research of this Twain impersonator, he did play piano (whihc I've seen mentioned and saw on a tour of his house in Hartford), guitar, and banjo.

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 01:54 AM

On the violin and piano, he said, "Age enlarges and enriches the powers of some musical instruments--notably those of the violin--but it seems to set a piano's teeth on edge."

- Rambling Notes of an Idle Excursion

And, from the Museum of Musical Instruments, it appears that Mark Twain played a Martin!!!:

The C.F. Martin company is America's longest-running instrument manufacturer, building great guitars since 1833. Martin perfected the dreadnaught guitar, named after a WWI battleship design, during the 1930s, and its loud, booming voice and rich tone influenced the development of many styles of modern music. From Mark Twain to Shania Twain, nearly every notable musician who has ever picked up a guitar has played a Martin. Many of the earliest-made Martins are still in use today.

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 02:21 AM

Well, Mark Twain may have played the banjo, but somehow I don't think that's an authentic photo of him playing one. Ever try to play a banjo while standing, without a strap?

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: Banjer
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 05:19 AM

Q. What do you have if you have a collection of Mark Twain's books???


A. A 'Twain Set'!!

I know, 'Banjer, go to your room'.....

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:10 AM

Nothing to do with Sam Clemens, but Thomas Beecham described the harpsichord as sounding like "Two skeletons copulating on a tin roof". And I have heard a scottish gentleman defined as one who "can play the bagpipes, but doesn't".

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: SharonA
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 09:54 AM

kat: I'm curious about that quotation you found on the MOMI site, so I sent an e-mail to the C.F. Martin company asking about Mark Twain's Martin guitar (what model, where displayed today, etc.). If I get a reply, I'll post it on this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: kendall
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 10:54 AM

There is a comment atributed to Oscar Wilde, on hearing the bagpipes, "Thank God, there is no odor."

A crusty old Mainer in Rockport said the "Bagpipes sound like someone gathered up a dog fight, and threw it into a pig pen."

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 11:16 AM

I love the pipes, but did think this one was kind of funny, Kendall:

Defintion of a Scottish gentleman: one who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't!

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: Wesley S
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 11:27 AM

The May 1999 issue of Acoustic Guitar featured Mark Twain's guitar on the back page. It was a 2 1/2-17 built about 1835 by C F Martin Sr. Twain bought it about 1861. It has Brazilian rosewood back and sides with a spruce top. The guitar was given before Twain's death to Col. John Hancock - a desendant of the same John Hancock that signed the Declaration of Independence.

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 11:43 AM

Kewl, thanks, Wesley!

Dr. Mark - I suppose one could pose for a picture without a strap, eh? 'course who knows with a "composite" piccie!*bg*

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: SharonA
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 12:08 PM

Yes, thank you, Wesley! No word back from CF Martin yet, by the way, so you beat 'em to the punch! (Wonder if they'll ever reply?...) Now I'll have to go look for said issue of Acoustic Guitar magazine. A friend of mine calls that back page "guitar porn"!

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: JenEllen
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 02:16 PM

"Okay kid, now go get your guitar and make some music."
~R. Fielding

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: RangerSteve
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 02:28 PM

Just a little off the subject: Twain said of an opera by Wagner (not the exact quote) "It cannot be judged after only one hearing, and I have no intention of hearing it again."

As for banjo players famous for other things, Twain is in both good and bad company. Andrew Jackson on the good side and Al Capone (tenor banjo) on the bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: JenEllen
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 04:08 PM

Favourites, including (attributed) Twain:

It's been through three wives. To me a guitar is kind of like a woman. You don't know why you like 'em but you do.
Waylon Jennings

Music makes one feel so romantic - at least it always gets on one's nerves - which is the same thing nowadays.
Oscar Wilde

PIANO, n. A parlor utensil for subduing the impenitent visitor. It is operated by pressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience.
Ambrose Bierce

Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
Mark Twain

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body.
Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

Anybody who has listened to certain kinds of music, or read certain kinds of poetry, or heard certain kinds of performances on the concertina, will admit that even suicide has its brighter aspects.
Stephen Leacock

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 04:38 PM

Kat:

LOL!!! Thanks for a great thread.

A.

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: SharonA
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 05:03 PM

Those musicians and music-lovers who haven't read this "sketch" of Twain's (from The Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County, and Other Sketches) already, simply must do so: "A Touching Story of George Washington's Boyhood" [which has nothing at all to do with Washington!]

To entice you to read the whole thing, I offer a brief excerpt: "I have learned that there lies dormant in the souls of all men a penchant for some particular musical instrument, and an unsuspected yearning to learn to play on it, that are bound to wake up and demand attention some day. Therefore, you who rail at such as disturb your slumbers with unsuccessful and demoralizing attempts to subjugate a fiddle, beware! for sooner or later your own time will come."

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: SharonA
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 05:42 PM

To JenEllen (about the quotation about Wagner, attributed to Mark Twain): According to this page on Boondocksnet.com, Twain was quoting someone else when he said that. The linked article is about the misattributed quote "I am the American" and other quotes similarly mistakenly assumed to be Twain's own words, and in the article the author mentions...

" another quote frequently misattributed to Twain: 'Wagner's music is better than it sounds.' Twain attributed that quote to humorist Bill Nye but it is now often attributed to Twain. It seems more likely, though, that Twain was using his friend as a model for the development of a character: a naive, suspicious, brash and boastful American abroad. In that case, this would be the kind of quote that should be attributed to the character to differentiate fictional dialogue from the thoughts of the author: 'As Huck Finn said...' or 'As Hank Morgan said....'

"....it is easy to imagine how someone might have read Twain's quotation of Nye saying 'Wagner's music is better than it sounds' and later repeated it as something Twain said. It is also easy to imagine how statements that begin with 'Someone, maybe Mark Twain, once said' or 'I think it was Mark Twain who said' become shortened to 'As Mark Twain said' and take on lives of their own as frequently repeated Twain quotes that no one can find in his writings."

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: SharonA
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:00 PM

By the way, check out this page for more quotations that either aren't Twain's or are believed to be misattributed to him: Misattributed Quotes: What Mark Twain DIDN'T Say

Sharon

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: JenEllen
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:42 PM

Thanks Sharon! I've seen it both as "Twain said.." and "Nye said..." but never got the definitive. (They should just put them all under the heading of "This one guy/gal said" and have done with it...*g*)
~J

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:43 PM

JenEllen, Ambrose Bierce said a piano is played by depressing the keys of the machine and the spirits of the audience. Makes sense that way!

And kat, if you look at that photo, unless he had Krazy Glue on his right hand there's no way that banjo would stay where it is. A very good fake photo, but a fake nonetheless. If he'd added a strap it would have been completely believable.

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: SharonA
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:50 PM

Me again. Sorry if I'm becoming a thread-hog, but I found the speech in which Twain quotes Bill Nye's quip about Wagner (okay, so I'm just a little obsessed!).

Here's the speech, given in 1902 at a dinner honoring Gen. Horace Porter, Ambassador to France: Boondocksnet.com – Mark Twain's speeches – Dinner to Horace Porter

Here's the excerpt: "Why, General Porter stands up here, and he also throws out very nice things, and sometimes they suggest Wagner's music from the pen and point of view of Bill Nye. Bill Nye said that he had heard that Wagner's music was better than it sounded. You can take what General Porter says in the same way."

Now that I've beaten that subject into the ground, I'll go away quietly and give someone else a chance to post! :^)

Sharon

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: JenEllen
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:58 PM

Yeah, Mark's correct, you wouldn't think that pianists would make such lousy yptos, wouldya?
grinningjen

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: Miken
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 09:30 PM

LOL Sharon! Thanks for pointing out the accordeon reference, it's wonderful! I'm about to venture down the same path as he did, having ordered a new box which (I hope) will arrive this month. Think of all the rent money I'll save!!!

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: Mr Red
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 10:53 AM

Ambrose Bierce had a bookful of them, the one I like is about the Clarinet, but I always translate it into English when the instrument transmogrifies into BAGPIPES.

Clarinet (n) This is an instrument of torture played by people with cotton wool in their ears. There are only two things worse than a clarinet, two clarinets.

****very BG****

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 11:39 AM

LOL...thanks everyone for jumping in, this is fun!

Do you suppose someone at Decca Records is still eating crow over this one:

We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
- Decca Recording Company, rejecting the Beatles, 1962

And, how about this gem concerning the piano:

There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.
- Johann Sebastian Bach

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: Deckman
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 01:37 PM

Thanks for the thread Kat. Just last Sunday I was at the library and asked where the "folk music" section was hidden. The staff person, one of two sitting there, answered with ... section b, aisle four. The other staff person added, "Bluegrass and banjo music is on the next aisle." The first staff person snapped back, "He asked for folk MUSIC!" CHEERS, Bob

Subject: RE: BS: Twain's quotes on musical instruments
From: GUEST,Paul Landskroener
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 03:32 PM

My favorite Twain music comment:

In reviewing an opera: I haven't heard anything like it since the orphange burned down.