BS: Cats in bottles???

Subject: Cats in bottles???
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:31 PM

I received a chain letter today protesting against a cruel Japanese business idea. It alleges that a man produces cats in bottles (i.e. he stuffs kittens into bottles and sells them as fashion accessories, particularly to the US. They need to be fed but can't move at all.). I can hardly believe this is true. Can anyone come up with solid info on whether or not this is a hoax?

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: JenEllen
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:36 PM

However lovely the idea sounds to people who own cats...it's a hoax. I got the same thing a year or so ago. Some things are just too good to be true.
~J

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: DougR
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:39 PM

I take it, JenEllen, you say that with tongue firmly tucked against cheek.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: CarolC
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:40 PM

A cat can fit through any opening that its head will fit through. On an average cat, that would be an opening about three and a half to four inches in diameter. It's pretty hard for me to figure out how waste products would be removed from a bottle that had an opening of less than three and a half inches in diameter, and a cat inside. And the liquid waste would be impossible to adequately remove. It would be all over the cat. So I find this one pretty difficult to believe.

Anyway, they wouldn't need to do the thing with putting them in as kittens. All they would need to do is have a bottle with an opening that was large enough for the cat to pass through, and put some kind of porous lid on it in order to keep the cat inside. Sounds like a hoax to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: Morticia
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:42 PM

I showed this thread to Loki anyway, she wasn't impressed. Apparently any eejit can get stuck inside a bottle, but drinking out of the toilet bowl without getting your paws wet takes genius.

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: Desdemona
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:49 PM

A very twisted friend sent me the "Bonsai Kitten" site awhile back; very funny!

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: JenEllen
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:49 PM

Nope Doug, perfectly serious. A horse in every barn, a chicken in every pot, and a kitten in every bottle...*bg*

Well, Carol, the hoax I was sent last year was of kittens surgically altered, outfitted with feeding and waste tubes so they can be kept in the bottle indefinitely. I think Sorcha sent it to me? Anyway, my cats weren't impressed by it either.

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: JenEllen
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:51 PM

Bonsai Kitten

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:10 PM

That's the most -- what's the word -- off-color joke I've seen in a year! Yuck!!! :>)

A

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: simon-pierre
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:15 PM

It's a perfect hoax - a little google search on this topic should get you many results, or have a look there.

Or just try to order the thing from the website... there's no email...

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:20 PM

JenEllen - sounds like the letter I got. I didn't feel like going into too much detail ... I DO hope it's a hoax even after seeing the website. If it's true, this is just sick!

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: CarolC
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:27 PM

Surgically altered huh? That's pretty funny.

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: CarolC
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:32 PM

The best solution is to seal the kitten's anus with Super Glue prior to insertion, and then insert a waste tube through a third hole in the vessel. As the kitten's body is still developing, a natural rectal diverticulum will soon form around the tube, which can be drained in any convenient fashion

ROTFLMAO!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:37 PM

How sick, even as a joke.

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:50 PM

yep...clever, but sick/stupid....

It may have come from a serious news story I saw several years ago about Japanese growing square tomatos..(they pack MUCH better in crates, dontcha know..*grin*)...some guy said he had it all worked out....but I haven't seen any follow-up, and the ones I see are still round..(they are messing with the gene that makes thme ripen and rot too fast)

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: simon-pierre
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:57 PM

ooops.. should have check the site before, ther's indeed an email. Guess that at least you can insult the guy.

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: CarolC
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 08:37 PM

What makes it funny for me is the sheer rediculousness of what they're saying. None of it is possible. On the site they talk about kittens bouncing if you drop them on the floor. I guess they figure that people would see the rediculousness of it and not believe it.

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 09:20 PM

Didn't even go there, as I didn't see the humour in the first place; just planting a stupid seed in someone's sick mind..,there are people out there who'd be sick enough to try it out, even if it is impossible.

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: CarolC
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 09:46 PM

Well, I guess maybe the time I spent working as a zookeeper must have twisted my mind beyond redemption. I suppose there's no hope for me. I found it pretty funny. Especially this bit...

At only a few weeks of age, a kitten's bones have not yet hardened and become osseous. They are extremely soft and springy. In fact, if you take a week-old kitten and throw it to the floor, it will actually bounce! We do not recommend that you try this at home. The kitten may bounce under the furniture and be difficult to retrieve, as well as covered in unsightly household dust.

...although I did find the picture gallery to be pretty distasteful.

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: michaelr
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 09:52 PM

Alright - nobody got the joke!

It's based on a T-Shirt that was peddled some years ago (I forget where I saw it). It had a drawing of a cat in a bottle, with the caption

HAPPINESS IS A TIGHT PUSSY

Any more questions?
Michael

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: NicoleC
Date: 05 Feb 02 - 10:25 PM

What clued me in the first time I saw this site and before actually reading it was the sheer number of ever-so-trustful kittens happily participating in the shots. Nary a claw in sight, and no unsightly red scratches on the hands :)

I see that they have responded to the critics who either don't realize it's a joke (and there have been many!) or don't have a twisted sense of humor by including a human baby version. Hmmm. Brings new meaning to the "seen and not heard" thoery of raising kids...

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 01:27 AM

Oh yeah, it's fawking hilarious, Carol.

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: SharonA
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 11:12 AM

This is way beyond a sick joke. There are detailed instructions on that Bonsai Kitten website that some people are likely to take seriously. I don't care how trustful the kittens look (kittens ARE trustful); stuffing them into jars for the purpose of taking "funny" pictures is cruel. In particular, the picture of the Siamese cat crammed into the glass container with a hand holding an electric drill up to its face is especially disturbing. And the directions to give a cat barbiturates and other chemicals (with amounts specified) – not to mention the little detail about sealing the cat's anus with Super Glue – are downright dangerous. The "Kids' Page" is scary, too (with instructions to make a Christmas card by first taking a picture of a cat stretched out by a plastic apparatus, with its feet bound) – how likely is it that every child reading it will understand the concept of "tongue-in-cheek" humor?.

There are too many sick, stupid adults and impressionable children out there who will take it into their minds to try some of the methods described. Let's just hope that none of them finds out about the Bonsai Kittens site through this thread (for instance, I wouldn't put it past some of our flaming GUESTs to be abusive toward animals since they're abusive toward other humans).

Sharon

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: Desdemona
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 11:23 AM

I wouldn't believe for a moment that the cats in the pictures had actually been put into bottles, etc.; they are certainly the product of photo shop, et al.

The friend who sent it to me initially has 3 cats that he absolutely adores, and he thought it was hilarious! It never occurred to me when I first saw it to imagine it was anything other than a twisted joke perpetrated by someone with (perhaps more than adequate?!) time & leisure on their hands.

Clearly, between even those who have black senses of humour, there are shades & gradations of blackness as to what various people find acceptable/funny/offensive, but it's hard to fathom that anyone would take it seriously as a "craft idea"; even Martha Stewart can't be THAT evil (can she...?)!

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: SDShad
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 11:25 AM

I don't know, Desdemona.

Anya of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the source of Martha's skill: "No one can do that much decoupage without calling upon the powers of darkness."

Shad

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: Desdemona
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 11:32 AM

Bwahahahahahaha!!!

I've always believed that in her case "Martha" is just a nick-name for "Mephistopheles"!

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: CarolC
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 11:33 AM

Well, katlaughing, I can see that you have a pretty strong opinion about the fact that I found parts of that site funny. I don't suppose there's really anything I can do about that. So I guess I'm not going to worry about it. I know what my track record on cruelty to animals is, and seeing as how I haven't even eaten a creature since 1971, I guess I'm in pretty good shape.

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: SharonA
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 11:47 AM

Desdemona: I've looked carefully at the photos on the site and, judging by the angles of the squashed faces, by the bent ears, I think that they are unretouched photos of cats in bottles. But even if they were created in Photoshop, I'm afraid that some people are going to think they're real and that the actions they portray are funny enough to mimic.

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: Desdemona
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 12:02 PM

It is indeed a strange world. I sincerely hope that anyone deluded enough to actually try to alter the shape of a cat by stuffing it into a bottle gets their eyes scratched out; this is a "live & learn" opportunity for people so inclined. Macrame would be safer for all concerned!

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: SharonA
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 12:22 PM

Here's a notice from The Humane Society of the United States about the Bonsai Kitten website: HSUS Update on the Bonsai Kitten Web Site

An excerpt, with suggestions about responding to the website if you're as disturbed by it as I am: "Please do NOT send e-mail or otherwise contact the person running this site. Within just two weeks of posting the site, the negative attention he received fueled the posting of the site in three separate locations and the formation of a group of supporters. In most cases, the most effective course of action is to contact the Internet Service Provider (ISP) hosting offensive sites. As we have seen here, there are exceptions, but in many cases ISPs have removed sites because they determined that the sites' content violated the ISP's User's Agreement.

"In addition, in response to the rising number of Web sites that promote, glamorize or trivialize cruelty to animals, a group of animal welfare professionals and pet lovers have joined together to stop this encouragement of animal abuse. The goal is to coordinate the efforts of the online community through targeted, legal and time-efficient methods so that such sites are removed quickly, thus frustrating the purpose of the site's creator to draw attention to themselves and their site. For more information, please visit: http://www.h4ha.org/stopcruelty."

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: SharonA
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 12:53 PM

More links:

From www.cruel.com, a page with many links to updates on the Bonsai Kitten site story, including its investigation by the FBI: Cruel Site of the Day December 22,2000: "Happiness is a Rectilinear Kitten"


From Neil W. Van Dyke at MIT, where the Bonsai Kitten site originated: Neil W. Van Dyke: Bonsai Kitten Stunt is Bad Idea

Excerpt: "Shortly after the Columbine school shootings, Marvin Minsky was chatting with MIT students before class and made an off-the-cuff remark that I found very intelligent. He said (I'm paraphrasing crudely from memory) that there will always be some percentage of the population that is capable of terrible acts, and that by giving so much attention to the Columbine shootings, we are planting ideas in the minds of people and wearing down mental censors against antisocial acts -- essentially making the unthinkable thinkable. It is media stunts like Bonsai Kitten that remind me of Minsky's remark. I wonder how many people there are out there who've had their minds subtly altered by exposure to the Bonsai Kitten site, such that they'll later perform antisocial acts that they wouldn't have, had Bonsai Kitten not given them an extra little cognitive push."

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: SharonA
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 01:30 PM

Please indulge me as I post just one more link, to a page at Animal Help with more suggestions about responding to the Bonsai Kitten site: What you can do to stop the Bonsai Kitten Website

Excerpt: "The purpose for the [Bonsai Kitten] website is attention. It was a cruelly imaginative website that quickly grew to fame and receives hundreds to thousands of visitors daily. In the Internet world, "eyeballs" are what count. "Eyeballs" meaning how many people look at your website. It doesn't matter what age they are, whether they liked the site at all, where they come from, etc..Only that they looked.

"The power we are giving to these sick individuals is immense. Every time we send emails to our friends telling them about this terrible website, we are in fact adding fuel to the fire. You are accentually providing word of mouth advertising.

"How you can help:
* DON'T go look at the Bonsai Kitten website! Not even once.
* DON'T tell your friends to go look at it!
* DON'T send them emails, it only adds to the attention they are enjoying so much.
* DO tell all your friends to avoid the website. Send email to everyone you know telling them to spread the word NOT to look at the website."

The article goes on to say that animal lovers can get the site removed by ignoring it, which I fear is unrealistic. However, I've glanced at several sites where protesting e-mails were reprinted and gloated over by people who are obviously enjoying the attention. So I think it's wise to follow Animal Help's advice to stay off the Bonsai Kitten site as well as its mirror sites, and keep their "visitor" numbers as low as possible.

In other words, as is said on this Forum so many times, don't feed the trolls!

Sharon

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: gnu
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 04:03 PM

Well, I wouldn't visit such a site, but, it seems to me, it's intended as humour, no ? Surely, you would not attempt to censure/censor thought, based on humour or otherwise ? Surely, you could not expect me to believe that this site incites actual violence ?

If it actually does incite such behaviour, perhaps this will help identify the sickos for treatment.

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: Gillie
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 05:02 PM

One word SICK

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: Grab
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 05:47 PM

It's a complete piss-take website. Many animal breeders practise 'docking' or other modification of the animals to fit the accepted mould, hence this piss-take of it all.

Does no-one appreciate these things? I mean, it's so obviously not serious! Or do you guys write letters of complaint to newspapers and magazines after every April 1st edition?

As far as easily-influenced kiddies reading it, this is real life, folks. How far do you think a 7-year-old will get trying to follow the instructions on the Bonzai Kitty site before said kitty scratches the kid and makes a bolt for the door? Or should we also ban all sales of Jonathan Swift's books, on the grounds that some kid may try his suggestion of making the poor eat their babies? And if it's not a kiddy but some sick adult, then they're sufficiently screwed up that they'll fixate on something else instead (thinking they're married to Meg Ryan, for instance) - if a person is really gone then it's fundamentally impossible to try to avoid tripping them out, bcos they simply aren't working with the same mental cause-and-effect rules as the rest of us.

A few other examples of the genre, taken from Brunching Shuttlecocks (one of the funnier satirical sites):-

The Institute for Contemporary Cosmetic Enhancement
Placebo

Graham.

PS. To remotely relate this to music, this takes the piss out of the song '50 ways to leave your lover'.

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 06:03 PM

Sharon, thanks for the links.

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: Susanne (skw)
Date: 06 Feb 02 - 09:07 PM

Thanks to all who've contributed! My mind has been set somewhat at rest, but I agree it's not just a sick joke but a dangerous one as well. Reminds me of an incident in berlin in the 1930s, when children at play hanged one of their number, who died. Questioned, they said, "We just did what adults do".

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: Mr Red
Date: 07 Feb 02 - 07:17 PM

Well I am encouraged by the thought it is a hoax, so I can safely muse on the notion it would have been called "Catatonic"
er..... I'll get my coat.......

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Feb 02 - 08:02 PM

For the record with regard to the square tomato, Michigan State University should be credited with that innovation from their work in the 1970's.

One of my favorite jokes was launched when the above mega university was going through a period of administration consolidation. "We" put out a press release announcing the merger of the College of Animal Husbandry (which in itself is something to muse over) with the School of Packaging - into the College of Animal Packaging. We were disappointed in the response from the media, no one even blinked, they just printed what we sent them...

Subject: RE: BS: Cats in bottles???
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 07 Feb 02 - 08:14 PM

I think they've developed square eggs, too. Just remember that most of the tomatoes -- even the round ones -- that you buy in the grocery have the taste and texture of cardboard or styrofoam.

Linn