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Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up

alison 05 Apr 02 - 03:05 AM
GUEST,Dana 05 Apr 02 - 02:43 AM
GUEST,Isaac McKittery 05 Apr 02 - 02:38 AM
alison 04 Apr 02 - 08:53 AM
GUEST,Dana 04 Apr 02 - 02:56 AM
GUEST,Frank Paterson 04 Apr 02 - 02:51 AM
alison 03 Apr 02 - 09:41 PM
GUEST,Christy Moore 02 Apr 02 - 07:54 AM
alison 02 Apr 02 - 04:46 AM
Big Mick 02 Apr 02 - 03:45 AM
alison 02 Apr 02 - 03:35 AM
alison 02 Apr 02 - 03:08 AM
Seamus Kennedy 02 Apr 02 - 03:05 AM
GUEST,Jittery McKittery 02 Apr 02 - 02:47 AM
alison 02 Apr 02 - 02:08 AM
GUEST,beachcomber 01 Apr 02 - 03:33 PM
Coyote Breath 01 Apr 02 - 12:22 AM
GUEST,Frank Harte 31 Mar 02 - 04:00 PM
GUEST,Spartacus 31 Mar 02 - 03:59 PM
Tam the bam fraeSaltcoatsScotland 31 Mar 02 - 01:02 PM
GUEST,Mark the Farter 31 Mar 02 - 01:00 PM
Tam the bam fraeSaltcoatsScotland 31 Mar 02 - 12:58 PM
GUEST,Eamonn Holmes 30 Mar 02 - 07:44 PM
GUEST,Isaac McKittery 30 Mar 02 - 07:42 PM
GUEST,Spartacus 30 Mar 02 - 07:40 PM
GUEST,Lazarus 30 Mar 02 - 07:36 PM
GUEST,Ian Curtis 30 Mar 02 - 07:28 PM
GUEST,Jean Butler 30 Mar 02 - 07:12 PM
GUEST,The REAL Michael Flatley 30 Mar 02 - 07:10 PM
GUEST,Michael Flatley 30 Mar 02 - 07:09 PM
GUEST,Shane MacGowan 30 Mar 02 - 07:08 PM
GUEST,Jocky Wilson 30 Mar 02 - 07:07 PM
GUEST,Alec Finn 30 Mar 02 - 07:06 PM
GUEST,Spartacus 30 Mar 02 - 07:06 PM
GUEST,Alec Finn 30 Mar 02 - 07:04 PM
GUEST,Shane MacGowan 29 Mar 02 - 05:23 PM
Rick Fielding 29 Mar 02 - 11:05 AM
Seamus Kennedy 29 Mar 02 - 01:23 AM
GUEST,Gerry Kelly - the man off the telly 28 Mar 02 - 04:37 PM
GUEST,Half-cut Hussy From Killicomaine 28 Mar 02 - 04:31 PM
GUEST,Narcissus 28 Mar 02 - 01:32 PM
GUEST,Spartacus 28 Mar 02 - 12:20 PM
GUEST,Ringo McDonagh 28 Mar 02 - 12:12 PM
Rick Fielding 28 Mar 02 - 12:11 PM
GUEST,Frank Carson 28 Mar 02 - 12:09 PM
GUEST,A wiry wee man in a bowler hat 28 Mar 02 - 12:07 PM
GUEST,Isaac McKittery 28 Mar 02 - 12:00 PM
GUEST,secret admirer 28 Mar 02 - 10:43 AM
donal 28 Mar 02 - 10:32 AM
GUEST,W.D. Flax 28 Mar 02 - 10:23 AM
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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: alison
Date: 05 Apr 02 - 03:05 AM

quit yer whingin' y'oul' harpy!! get out there an find yerself a man fer it sure sounds like ye cud do wi a gud seein' too.....

Isaac I jist need ta run out ta the shaps and git some more spuds..... by the sounds of it you'll need a quare feed ta git yer strenth up.......


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Dana
Date: 05 Apr 02 - 02:43 AM

Hell slap it up ye, ye big glipe!

Away an' lavin' yer wee craytur behin' lek thon! The poor girl's that consarned be the whole business that she's thinkin' o' turnin'! I seen her meself at the mission stall outside the chapel in Derytrasna an' she was eyin' up a set o' glow-in-the-dark rosary beads!

So paint that on the side o' your Lambeg and play "Croppies Lie Down" wi' it!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Isaac McKittery
Date: 05 Apr 02 - 02:38 AM

Jayziz, love. I'm awful bawd so I yam!

I had some funny mate in one o' thon far-away places an' it's run the guts outta me! Between bokin' and th'awr hing, I need har'ly tell ye the weight I've lost! I hope ye'll have a good big bowl o' scallion champ waitin' for me when I lawn' in the Sydney.

I'm sorry for being crude, Alsion. But me Danny Boy's in pure raw beef so it is!

Skittery McKittery


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: alison
Date: 04 Apr 02 - 08:53 AM

yew and who's army?..... anyway I thought you were aff shaggin' Daniel O'Donnell... so what's it to yew wee doll????

sure by the time Isaac gets over here (if he makes it this time)that oul' floozy of his will have found someone else

Frank, thon was jist beautiful..... I'm near sure I read it in my Percy French song buke


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Dana
Date: 04 Apr 02 - 02:56 AM

See whit ye've started, ye wee gat ye!

Cudja nat lave poor wee Isaac in pace? Stead o' torcherin' him? An' nigh ye've on'y went an' broke heez wee girl's heart, an' all!

If I had my hawns on ye, I'd cool your heels, so I wud, hi!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Frank Paterson
Date: 04 Apr 02 - 02:51 AM

In all my years of singin' Percy French songs I've never come across anything with the poignancy – nay pathos! – of this wee number. It's based, of course, on that great wee song "Come Back Paddy Reilly To Ballyjamesduff". If he wasn't moulderin' in his coffin at this very minute, then I'd swear to Jayziz it was writ by the man hisself!


The kerbs they are painted in Killicomaine
With colours all red, white and blue
But since Ike McKittery has gone o'er the main
I scarcely look on their gay hue
No peace I have known since my lovebird has flown
To some Ozzie blade far o'er the sea
Come back Ike McKittery to Killicomaine
Come home Ike McKittery to me

Oh he cut such a dash in his bowler and sash
As out on the 12th day he strode
Determined that through the police cordon he'd smash
And thence up the Garvaghy Road
But now his oul' bitterness tends to the sweet
When some Ozzie blade calls his name
Come back Ike McKittery and we'll storm Obin Street
Come home to fair Killlicomaine


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: alison
Date: 03 Apr 02 - 09:41 PM

nice one christy


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Christy Moore
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 07:54 AM

How's it goin' there? Christy's back now to regale you with a reworking of one my all-time classics. You remember "The Blacksmith" of course? I giv' it a right oul' belt on the first Planxty album, and a great wee number it was , at all! Well this is a modern-day updating. Came to me courtesy of some poor distraught woman from Portydown.

Ike McKittery coorted me, six months or better
He fairly won my heart, wrote me a letter
With his sash around his neck, he looked so clever
And if I was with my love, I would live for ever

Till some Australian blade caught his attention
The promises he made, I dare not mention
At Larne he boarded ship, bound for Austrailyee
If I had you in my sights, I would surely flail ye

Oh Ike my darling man, you sweetheart bigot
Some would say I was well-rid, to hell and frig it
But it breaks my achin' heart for you to l'ave me
And I pray to God above, that he will save me

I will never be the same since Ike McKittery
My fingernails I've chewed till they are flittery
To think he's on the say, bound for Austrailyee
If I was in the cops, I would surely jail ye



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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: alison
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 04:46 AM

jaysus Seamus that was close.....how fast can you run? 'cos if he catches you.... he'll bate yer melt in!!

Oh Mick.... er... long time no see...... Seamie and I were just havin' a wee bit of a geg........ c'mere'n gi'is a snog big fella!!

alison


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: Big Mick
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 03:45 AM

me too?


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: alison
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 03:35 AM

aww Seamus... sure yer jist jealous.... you and me up the entry in five minits and I'll sort ye out....... or if that doesn't interest you .... will ye see my mate? she fancies you somthin' shackin

alison


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: alison
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 03:08 AM

away or thon.... sure I've nuthin tae do wi thon pack'o hoors.....

I haven't seen Derryadd Sam about fer a wee while..... jist betweeen you and me I think there's a wee want about him....

slainte

alison


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 03:05 AM

Ohmygawd, the pair o' them's away again. Will youse two stap yer slabberin' an' coortin' and oul' guff on this respectable forum? Yiz are enough to make respectable peopple boke, so yiz are. Nye, knockittaff!

Seamus


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Jittery McKittery
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 02:47 AM

Holy book!

I'm throwing a coupla pairs of gonks in me bag now, Alison and here's for anawr attemp' at gettin' over the water to see ye.

(If only thon oul' gawp Derryadd Sam'll keep out me way, I might make it this time!)

Anyways. Amswer me this one as I'm goin'. Are you anything to do wiith thom Lick The Tins shower?

(I formed a wee tribute band in their honour wanst, called Lick The Tims. But thon's anawr story!)

Your ever-loving

Nicodemus McBittery


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: alison
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 02:08 AM

Isaac??? Isaac? is it really you.... them oul' gobshites toul' me you were dead.......

so I went to Canberra to the National Folk Festival for the weekend.... (my excuse for being late)... honest I didn't enjoy myself one bit without you... but I did play in a nice wee session last night with Donal Lunny..... I think he might have been one of thon left footers.... well with a name like thon what else'd you expect


but now.. when's yer next attempt at getting over here to get yer leg over? *grin*


alison


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,beachcomber
Date: 01 Apr 02 - 03:33 PM

SPAREUS !


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: Coyote Breath
Date: 01 Apr 02 - 12:22 AM

sheeesh!

CB


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Frank Harte
Date: 31 Mar 02 - 04:00 PM

Jayziz ...

Thanks there Spartacus.

Personally I think you can't bate thon album, "A Woman's Heartacus".


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Spartacus
Date: 31 Mar 02 - 03:59 PM

Git the fuck outta it!

Back to folk music.

My favourite singer?

Frank Harteacus.


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: Tam the bam fraeSaltcoatsScotland
Date: 31 Mar 02 - 01:02 PM

Nice One Mark,

Ok Charlie it was me.

I know it wasn't nice, but I hope you see the funny side.


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Mark the Farter
Date: 31 Mar 02 - 01:00 PM

Hahaha,

I'm Mark the Farter frae Bishopbriggs.

Phrtttt!!!!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: Tam the bam fraeSaltcoatsScotland
Date: 31 Mar 02 - 12:58 PM

I'm a Loony that's never been caught an that


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Eamonn Holmes
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 07:44 PM

I am sick to my guts o' this constant gettin' at me!

What in the name of Jayziz have I done to get the kind of sleggin' I'm gettin'?

Would yez all just aise aff?


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Isaac McKittery
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 07:42 PM

Sorry, there, Brother Spart ... but sure how wuz I to know that she's offside?

Alison ... c'mon o' that, girl. Give us a sign for God's sake. I'm gettin' stick, here!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Spartacus
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 07:40 PM

McKittery, you big Orange bollix you!

You toul' me to hang about here and before long I'd get a chance to spake to thon Alison blade. Two days and not so much as a cheep!

And me wanted to fin' out for sure that she wasn't yer wan out of Lick the Tins!

Well if there's bugger all action in the next day or so, I'm away back to the cradle of civilisation, me!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Lazarus
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 07:36 PM

Who's after takin' my name in vain ...?

Oh it's you, you monotonous oul' dirge-machine!

Here, if we're for raisin' the dead, any chance of gettin' Willie Clancy to join us for a tune and a bit of an oul' song?


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Ian Curtis
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 07:28 PM

I am Love Will Tear Us Apartacus.

(Bet you didn't expect me to do a lazarus on this of all places!)


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Jean Butler
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 07:12 PM

It's damn all to do wi' me you hairbanded, tight-arsed mechanic!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,The REAL Michael Flatley
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 07:10 PM

I did NOT post the message above. If this is the work of Butler and her fellow dropped-arch jiggin' harpies, then I'm declarin' war!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Michael Flatley
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 07:09 PM

I'm a talentless oul' tartacus!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Shane MacGowan
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 07:08 PM

I'm as pissed as a fartacus!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Jocky Wilson
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 07:07 PM

I clod the odd dartacus!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Alec Finn
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 07:06 PM

Ceartacus go leor!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Spartacus
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 07:06 PM

Great yoke altogether, Alec. I strummed along wi' oul' elastic fingers for a set or two and then blew him away wi' my version of "The Boys of Scartacus".


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Alec Finn
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 07:04 PM

Hi, Spartacus! How did you get on wi' me 'zouk?


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Shane MacGowan
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 05:23 PM

Ye roigh'?

This 'ere's a wee song for me oul' mate, Eamonn Holmes.

It's to the tyoo-en of the Woil' Rover ...

I've hosted the lotto for many's a day
I love a big dinner and I love a big tay
And now I'm returning from Albion's shore
And I never will call the oul' bingo no more

CHORUS
And it's no nay never
No nay never no more
Will I call the oul' bingo
No never no more

I went into a chip-shop I used to frequent
I said Ernie Cafolla, me money's all spent
I asked him for credit, he answered me nay
Sure a custom like yours I could have any day

CHORUS

I took out of my pocket a twenty-pound bill
Ah Jayziz, he said, Eamonn please eat your fill
I had two fish suppers, one battered, one crumbed
And then I went home to see my oul' mum

CHORUS

I went home to my parents, I was met by my mum
She said Christ Jayziz Eamonn - the size of your bum!
You left here a sprickly, you came back a whale
There's a quare hape o' cookeen congealed roun' your tail

CHORUS

Up the republic!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 11:05 AM

Thanks Seamus...I needed that! I'm standing pitifully on the sidelines desperately trying to translate the above dialogue into Earth, while quietly reciting the 23rd Psalm.

Thickus Plankus


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 01:23 AM

Rick Fielding, speakin' as a frien' like, just stan' back an' watch. Do not, under any circumstances, participate in this here thread. There's nathin' worse than watchin' innocent bystanders go down in flames, glipes that they are for stannin' aroun' watchin' wi' their two han's in their pockets, and their two arms the same len'th, hell slap it intil them. Take it away, Spartacus!

Seamacus


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Gerry Kelly - the man off the telly
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 04:37 PM

Gerry Kelly here - the man off the telly with the hairy big belly!

Good to see Wilberforce Dionysus Flax honourin' us wi' hees presence!

The only man on Ulster TV to be named after a releasin' oil!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Half-cut Hussy From Killicomaine
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 04:31 PM

Spartacus?

I don't mind coortin' no Spartacus!

Are you a Spartacus from Edenderry, or are you one of the Moira Spartacusses!

Either way, I'd gi' ye yer hole quicker than thon Simmons one wud! She soun's like a right oul' coul-rife!

Here ... before ye go, d'ye huv a wee feg on you? I'm chokin' so I am!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Narcissus
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 01:32 PM

By Jaysus Spartacus now yer whuslin Dixie boy. A good ould fashioned knee trembler with a big lump of a country girl is the first thing that'll put the colour back in yer cheeks, good luck.


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Spartacus
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 12:20 PM

Rick ...

If you want to know the truth, I'd sooner have had a houl' with Gene Simmons from thon heavy metal group, KISS!

Not that I'm a homosexualist, or anything like that. Fair play if that's the river you're fishin' in ... but I'm casting my lines in the oul' River Straight-as-a-dye, y'know what I mane?

Anyway, lovely looking woman an' all as she was, she was a bit slow on drappin' the han'!

Gi' me a good oul' coort up the side wall of the Carngrove with some half-cut hussy from Killicomaine any day!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Ringo McDonagh
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 12:12 PM

Hi, Spartacus ... you're a greek fella, aren't you. Well grab a houl' o' shaggy's bouzouki and gi' me a hand keepin' oul know-it-all Gavin in time on "The Pinch Of Snuff".

Away we go, now ... a 1 and a 2 and a ...


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 12:11 PM

Who cares about Drumcree Spartacus? Just tell me about your night with Jean Simmons!!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Frank Carson
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 12:09 PM

Here's a cracker for yez!

What's Eamonn Holmes and Isaac McKittery got in common?

One's a bigot and the awr one's a big-gut!

It's the way I tell them!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,A wiry wee man in a bowler hat
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 12:07 PM

Just cos you say you're who y'are dizn't mane that's who y'are at all!

Thon gulpin up above is only lettin' on to be Isaac McKittery cos he 'hinks he might get a chance of a houl' with thon Australian piece, Alison.

Heavens! But thon siren's been the ruination of many's a daycent, God-fearing, true blue in her time!

Men of the House of Orange ... take my advice and give thon trojan horse a wide berth.

I AM ISAAC McKITTERY ... not Spartacus.


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,Isaac McKittery
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 12:00 PM

I am Isaac McKittery!


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,secret admirer
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 10:43 AM

but is (were) any of you Isaac |MCKittery? He had all the best lines.


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: donal
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 10:32 AM

I am popeye so I yam what I yam.....


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Subject: RE: Drumcree thread - perpetrator owns up
From: GUEST,W.D. Flax
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 10:23 AM

I am John Cole...so I am.


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