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BS: Ever played with your genitals?

GUEST,53 BOB 28 Mar 02 - 10:47 AM
GUEST,anonymous 28 Mar 02 - 10:52 AM
Midchuck 28 Mar 02 - 10:53 AM
van lingle 28 Mar 02 - 11:08 AM
Amos 28 Mar 02 - 11:08 AM
SharonA 28 Mar 02 - 11:26 AM
GUEST,Playboy 28 Mar 02 - 11:28 AM
Mooh 28 Mar 02 - 11:33 AM
UB Ed 28 Mar 02 - 11:37 AM
rangeroger 28 Mar 02 - 11:38 AM
catspaw49 28 Mar 02 - 11:40 AM
gnu 28 Mar 02 - 11:44 AM
wysiwyg 28 Mar 02 - 11:49 AM
GUEST 28 Mar 02 - 11:52 AM
jimlad 28 Mar 02 - 11:53 AM
gnu 28 Mar 02 - 11:54 AM
GUEST,Nick 28 Mar 02 - 12:23 PM
GUEST,Les B. 28 Mar 02 - 12:30 PM
Mooh 28 Mar 02 - 01:28 PM
little john cameron 28 Mar 02 - 03:08 PM
Biskit 28 Mar 02 - 03:20 PM
annamill 28 Mar 02 - 03:27 PM
Ron Olesko 28 Mar 02 - 03:32 PM
catspaw49 28 Mar 02 - 03:38 PM
Midchuck 28 Mar 02 - 03:39 PM
Jeri 28 Mar 02 - 03:55 PM
Ron Olesko 28 Mar 02 - 04:09 PM
catspaw49 28 Mar 02 - 04:14 PM
pavane 28 Mar 02 - 04:20 PM
little john cameron 28 Mar 02 - 04:24 PM
gnu 28 Mar 02 - 04:31 PM
GUEST,Kenna Hepit 28 Mar 02 - 04:33 PM
GUEST, Treuchter 28 Mar 02 - 04:38 PM
little john cameron 28 Mar 02 - 04:42 PM
GUEST,Just Amy 28 Mar 02 - 05:07 PM
catspaw49 28 Mar 02 - 05:10 PM
JenEllen 28 Mar 02 - 05:27 PM
GUEST,Ophelia 28 Mar 02 - 06:07 PM
GUEST 28 Mar 02 - 06:16 PM
paddymac 28 Mar 02 - 06:36 PM
pavane 28 Mar 02 - 06:39 PM
catspaw49 28 Mar 02 - 06:42 PM
Gareth 28 Mar 02 - 08:10 PM
DonMeixner 28 Mar 02 - 08:43 PM
GUEST 28 Mar 02 - 08:48 PM
CarolC 28 Mar 02 - 09:00 PM
GUEST,Nick 28 Mar 02 - 09:18 PM
Anahootz 28 Mar 02 - 09:53 PM
GUEST 28 Mar 02 - 10:06 PM
53 28 Mar 02 - 10:15 PM
catspaw49 28 Mar 02 - 10:24 PM
Little Hawk 29 Mar 02 - 03:52 PM
GUEST 29 Mar 02 - 03:58 PM
Little Hawk 29 Mar 02 - 04:08 PM
Kim C 29 Mar 02 - 04:23 PM
Big Tim 29 Mar 02 - 05:41 PM
Little Hawk 29 Mar 02 - 06:02 PM
GUEST,jethro 29 Mar 02 - 09:38 PM
GUEST 29 Mar 02 - 09:40 PM
Little Hawk 29 Mar 02 - 10:52 PM
53 30 Mar 02 - 12:22 PM
Herga Kitty 30 Mar 02 - 12:50 PM
GUEST,Glenbogie of Glenbogie 30 Mar 02 - 02:42 PM
Jack The Lad 30 Mar 02 - 03:23 PM
John MacKenzie 31 Mar 02 - 04:28 AM
Cappuccino 01 Apr 02 - 03:26 AM
Mr Red 01 Apr 02 - 05:01 AM
Joe_F 01 Apr 02 - 10:23 AM
GUEST 13 Apr 02 - 05:20 AM
Dave Bryant 13 Apr 02 - 02:39 PM
GUEST 13 Apr 02 - 09:58 PM
Joe_F 13 Apr 02 - 10:37 PM
van lingle 14 Apr 02 - 07:29 AM
YOR 14 Apr 02 - 11:15 PM
CarolC 15 Apr 02 - 12:51 AM
GUEST,53 Bob - Not 53 - Nor 53 BOB 15 Apr 02 - 01:05 AM
Dave Bryant 15 Apr 02 - 05:29 AM
CarolC 15 Apr 02 - 10:15 AM
GUEST 16 Apr 02 - 04:21 AM
Stephen L. Rich 16 Apr 02 - 06:36 AM

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Subject: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST,53 BOB
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 10:47 AM

How many mudcatters have played with their own genitalia?

BOB


I would have deleted this thread, but too many people have posted to it. I guess that's an indication of what they'd like Mudcat to be. Too bad.
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST,anonymous
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 10:52 AM

I don't think very many males at my workplace have them to play with.:)


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Midchuck
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 10:53 AM

Ever? Why not ask how many have not, and keep the thread short?

P.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: van lingle
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 11:08 AM

Yeah, but like that old Les Paul mine are so heavy.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Amos
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 11:08 AM

Geez, Bob!! Define "play"!!!

I think I know what you mean by genitalia.

A


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: SharonA
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 11:26 AM

I've never played guitar with them, no....


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST,Playboy
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 11:28 AM

Whhooo Hoooooo


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Mooh
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 11:33 AM

Sharon...that would be aural sex? Boy, is Bob happening today, eh! Jerry Springer, here we come (figuratively).

Mooh.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: UB Ed
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 11:37 AM

Well, its not really Bob and it depends on what is meant by "your".

Ed


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: rangeroger
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 11:38 AM

If you notice,this one wasn't started by our 53 but by a sarcastic troll.

rr


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 11:40 AM

Jerry Springer? Gee Mooh, I hope not..............

Springer' Guest Guilty of Murder
By VICKIE CHACHERE Associated Press Writer
published 06:10 AM - MARCH 27, 2002 Eastern Time

SARASOTA, Fla. (AP) _ A man was convicted of killing his ex-wife hours after they and another woman were featured on a "Jerry Springer Show" episode about love triangles.

Ralf Panitz, 42, was found guilty of second-degree murder Tuesday night in the slaying of Nancy Campbell-Panitz, 52. Jurors, who deliberated for 18 hours over two days, also convicted him of violating a domestic violence order.

Panitz could face up to life in prison when he is sentenced in May.

Campbell-Panitz was beaten and choked on July 24, 2000, shortly after the airing of an episode of the Springer show featuring her being confronted by her ex-husband and his current wife, Eleanor. The show had been taped in May.

Prosecutors said they believe the killing was touched off by Panitz's anger at being barred by a judge from living in his ex-wife's house. The couple had been divorced since 1999 but continued living together off and on, even after Panitz secretly married Eleanor in March 2000.

Prosecutors won the convictions after a 10-day trial in which defense attorney Geoffrey Fieger, whose previous clients include Dr. Jack Kevorkian, presented a series of high-profile criminologists who testified there hadn't been a murder at all.

Fieger argued that Campbell-Panitz died from a heart attack suffered during a fight with someone, but not his client.

Fieger blasted jurors following the verdict, saying they "made up evidence" because none existed linking Panitz to the death.

Prosecutors, though, said 18 bloody footprints matched a shoe Panitz owned and his DNA was found under his ex-wife's fingernails. Detectives said Campbell-Panitz's face was so badly beaten she was unidentifiable to a deputy who had seen her earlier the same day.

Assistant Sarasota County State Attorney Charlie Roberts said he was satisfied with the second-degree murder charge. At one point, prosecutors had charged Panitz with that crime, but upgraded it under a Florida law which makes a killing accompanied by another felony first-degree murder.

"I always felt the facts were the fact and you can't change the facts and you can't change common sense," Roberts said.

Eleanor Panitz said the verdict would be appealed.

"I will never give up trying to see my husband is a free man because in my heart I do not believe he did this," she said.

The slaying capped a dysfunctional drama in which the German house painter bounced between his ex-wife and wife, often moving in with one the same day he dumped another.

The trio spent months filing a flurry of domestic violence allegations against each other and appeared on the Springer show episode titled "Secret Mistresses Confronted," where the audience jeered as Campbell-Panitz was ridiculed as being "fat" and "old."


Spaw


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: gnu
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 11:44 AM

I don't know where you are from, but, in our armed forces, genitals and privates don't socialize. It's bad for morals.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 11:49 AM

This flame thread would have been quietly deleted if you idiots had not posted to it. Now it's an idiot magnet, and here I am stuck to it along with you, but there's no Golden Goose at the head of it.

Bob has become a flame target around here, at a time when he's as down as anyone can be. This isn't the first one and, if you go by the e-mails that sometimes go around organizing these, it won't be the last and Bob won't be the last target, either. Ignore the next one and just let Mudcat Central know of it (via PM) as requested repeatedly, huh?

~Susan


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 11:52 AM

Sorry, Susan.

But if Bob hadn't started such idiotic threads to begin with; this one wouldn't be here.

As you sow, so shall you reap.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: jimlad
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 11:53 AM

mind your own business you perv'


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: gnu
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 11:54 AM

Ahhhh, shucks. I'm STILL an idiot ? I was just trying to be punny. Well, at least I'm not alone... hehe.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST,Nick
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 12:23 PM

When do I stop? Nick


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST,Les B.
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 12:30 PM

Yeah, the only tune I can get is "Coming Around the Mountain" !


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Mooh
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 01:28 PM

Joe & Susan,

Okay, I'm chastised. Sorry. But can you not delete anytime? My humble apologies for being an idiot, but I guess I'm in good company on this thread...I took the bait, hook, line and provocation...

Gee Spaw,

I hadn't seen that Springer story. I guess this means it's not fiction like pro wrestling (neither of which I'm really familiar with). That show is real? Wow! Another idiot revelation...

Maybe I should have a nap...

Peace, Mooh.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: little john cameron
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 03:08 PM

This is bloody weel disgustin in a faimiy orientated web site.Ah'm surprised at ye Joe for allowin this kind o' pervertit garbage.Whit is Max's phone number,ah'm no' taken this withoot voicin mah umbrage tae the high heid yin.
Mah poor wife could inadvertantly cast her e'en oan this smut.
This place has reached rock bottom noo!!This type o' Satanic perversity has tae be stamped oot.The diabolic fingers o' the evil ane are reachin oot intae the cyberworld tae undermine the youth o' this great land that has,up tae noo,been blessed wi' grand upstaunin pillars o' emulation the likes o' the Great Bill Shatner.A shining example o' heroic proportions unexcelled in the annals o' modern day models o' Mankind at its best.
Once again ah urge ye tae delete this insidious attempt tae trap oor unsuspectin members,no' tae mention the guests,intae the bowels o' debauchery. ljc


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Biskit
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 03:20 PM

what'd he say??


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: annamill
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 03:27 PM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Ron Olesko
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 03:32 PM

If we keep typing to this thread will we go blind?


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 03:38 PM

That's a good question Ron. Kinda' like wondering if you buy one of those new "Palm Pilots" if you get a free razor to shave your hands with...................

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Midchuck
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 03:39 PM

The old priest told me I shouldn't, it was a great sin. Then he offered to do it for me, to save me from temptation. Made sense.

Peter.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Jeri
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 03:55 PM

Catspaw, I don't know about the hairy palms thing, but I got really wet reading LJC's post. (I hate when ginger ale comes out my nose.) How many double entendres can you skillfully thrust into the body of a message.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Ron Olesko
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 04:09 PM

Jeri,

"thrust into the body" ?? Would you try to keep it clean please!! What kind of website do you think this is??

Has anyone seen my glasses?

Ron


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 04:14 PM

Yeah Jeri, I needed to compliment Little John on that one and especially in light of his recent thread containing fuck in the title which took so much flak........All in all a very complete send-up!! My hat is off to you....and it was on my lap.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: pavane
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 04:20 PM

I seem to remember a song (Leadfingers Wedlock was it?) (Parody of The Boxer)

Quote "I've had trouble with my sex life since I fell and broke my wrist"

Quote "There are only 2 kinds in this world, those who do, and liars"

So it is a sort of relevant thread.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: little john cameron
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 04:24 PM

Ah "double entenwhatsits",food for the soul,are they no?Whitever they are.A quick perusal o' the writin o' that great Dundonian Demigod o' the he'rt o' the Scottish nation,William Magonagal.Sic a grandiloquent expounder o' verbosity,the likes o' whit will never be seen again,can only be place oan the pedestal wi' the Bold Rabbie.
Gawd Bless the baith o' them.A licht went oot in the land when The Big Yin took them hame tae the wee But'n Ben in the sky.Ye can take yer Omar Khyams an'toss them intae obscurity wi' aw the ither foreigners.
Perhaps a few o' the great mans epistles will be forthcomin oan these pages? ljc


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: gnu
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 04:31 PM

Long as e dunna stick em t'gither.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST,Kenna Hepit
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 04:33 PM

I never play with genitals, only Jews.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST, Treuchter
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 04:38 PM

This is good shit LJ. This is two days in a row you've gotten me distracted from work to do this reseacrh.

Then there's the Duke of Wellington's statue in Royal Exchange Square --
It is a beautiful statue I without fear declare,

Besides inspiring and most magnificent to view,

Because he made the French fly at the battle of Waterloo.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: little john cameron
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 04:42 PM

Aye haud oan,here come WILLIAM TOPAZ MAGONAGALL.Oan his ain threed awa.ljc


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST,Just Amy
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 05:07 PM

No, they are old enough to play with themselves.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 05:10 PM

By gawd Amy, I'd like to see that!!! Can you post some pix?

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: JenEllen
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 05:27 PM

Yes, Amy, in the key of O, but they're a bitch to keep in tune...


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST,Ophelia
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 06:07 PM

Well, if I worked with 'em, I'd get arrested!


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 06:16 PM

Shaking hands with the unemployed


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: paddymac
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 06:36 PM

How do you tune 'em?


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: pavane
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 06:39 PM

And what about Funiculi Funicular? ("Last night you should have seen me on the short strokes, it was so grand, I used me hand")


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 06:42 PM

I don't know paddymac, but I don't think the Amish-Austalian Pitchfork Moustache Tuner would work for obvious reasons............

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Gareth
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 08:10 PM

To bring this back to Music.

" Do yer balls hang low,
Can you swing them to and fro ?
Can you tye them in a knot, ?
Can you tye them in a bow ?
Can you swing them over your shoulder ?,
Like a Continental Soldier ?
Do yer balls hang low ?."

As sung at many a Rugby Club.

Gareth


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: DonMeixner
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 08:43 PM

Well here is certainly an arguement for required access names. If some pinhead can log on with Bob's handle and aadd Guest to it just to create an embarassing line of horse shit like this with the only purpose of making some one feel uncomfortable and diminished there by then I am fully for passwords and registered handles.

My name will always be as posted, DonMeixner, and if there should be a time when I post from work and have to sign on as a guest you'll know its me by the manners, content, and fairplay there in.

DonMeixner


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 08:48 PM

Don,

I think you fail to see the point.

"Real" Bob got at most 20 non-descript replies to his inane threads.

Here, we're at 40+ and a lot of them are very funny.

not one of the messages is anti bob


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: CarolC
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 09:00 PM

I apologize for bringing this thread back to the top.

There is a phenomenon that happens with caged birds where if one bird has any sign of a weakness or of not being well in some way, the rest of the birds in the cage will peck and peck at the bird that isn't as strong until it dies. This thread kind of reminds me of that.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST,Nick
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 09:18 PM

Not a surprise that this thread reminds you of a pecker.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Anahootz
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 09:53 PM

I play air-genitalia...or I let my roadie handle it. For years I wanted the "concert-style" genitals, but I found the "orchestra body" easier to play. I have since settled on the dreadnaught. When I switched genitalia, I considered an F-5 style, but then oped for the F-hole A style, as it was much easier to handle.

Does anyone know where I can get some tenor genitalia?

Hey catspaw, where did you get that picture of the Amish-Australian Moustache tuner? I wanna spring that on a few GearGeeks I know, but I can't copy the URL, it won't link up when I post it...


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 10:06 PM

So why do lady drivers brush their hair when stopped at red traffic lights? Because they have no balls to scratch.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: 53
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 10:15 PM

Will the real Bob please stand up?


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Mar 02 - 10:24 PM

Anahootz........The AAPMT came from a thread where Murray accidentally said pitchfork instead of tuning fork. One thing led to another and...........Well, I have this bad habit of picking up on some inanity and not letting go til it becomes something like this.

The one in the picture was made by me and auctioned off at the Mudact Auction garnering 90 Bucks for the 'Cat (I matched the winning bid) and it was purchased by Night Owl and given to Musicman out in Vancouver.......Paul really swears by it...or rather at it as it's caused several nasty cuts.

Anyhow the photo is from an online photo album of mine.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 03:52 PM

Och, Little John, it's guid tae see ye standin up fer daicency and guid taste oan the Mudcat! It's a cryin shame tae behold the depths o' depravity tae which this forum has sunk! Ah cannae e'en stomach mah daily sairvin o' haggis noo, when Ah think aboot the besoms and bairns that micht stumble oan this vile thread and be psychologically damaged fer life!

Thanks be that ye had the guid judgement tae counter it wi' a mention o' the Great William Shatner as an antidote tae all this pairvairsity here!

Noo, tae answer the question raised in the faerst place....

Hae Ah ever played wi' my genitals? Well, Ah tried once, but it hurt! I dinna recommend it, although I would probably hae fared better, had it been a nylon string classical guitar, instead o' the standard Martin dreadnought! The sustain wis nothin' tae write home aboot either...

All things considered, Ah think it's a daft idea... They threw me oot o' the bar, too!

- LH


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 03:58 PM

I play mine like a cello; but you all probably think I'm bragging. . . .


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 04:08 PM

No problem. With Spaw around here, we're used to that...

- LH


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Kim C
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 04:23 PM

I avoided this all week. I'm glad I waited till today because I needed the laugh!

Reminds me of that song about the guy's wife running off with the trombone player: "Oh he pulled that long thing in and out, he made her feel so gay/He really tickled her fancy when he stole me wife away."

Or something like that.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Big Tim
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 05:41 PM

Hear,hear Kim C. Once had a French teacher called Mr Ritchie - WE called him mabawsareitchy (it was in Glasgow).

ljc: why not weejc or wjc?

Daein a great joab there pal, ken whit ahmean? Readin between the lines anawrat,Rab C himself wid be prood o ye, so he wid, ken whit ahmean? LH is areddys thinkin aboot his "O" level, maybe get a joab wi the cooncil, chasin dugs and rats an aw rat, millions o them aboot.

Are you a loyalist? Nae naebotherpal, I'm liberal but to a degree...Shuttityou, ken whit ahmean.

LH: glad to see, like me, you have a lighter side - us Dylan fans urney borin ne-er we ur, ken whit ahmean!


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 06:02 PM

Och Aye, laddie! There's nowt can sing aboot life an' aw its ups and doons like the bard frae Hibbing. An' ye'll listen tae the aerly material, ye'll see whit a sense o' humour is, laddie! Ah mind the song aboot the John Baerch Society Talkin' Blues, an' the one aboot Bear Mountain fer example. Bob Dylan wis a singer wi' a great sense o' humour, coupled wi' a sharp wit fer satire an' innuendo where 'twas appropriate. Furthermore, he never played wi' his genitals onstage! Jim Morrison did, an' we all ken whit a bad end he came to! Forewarned is better than foreskinned, I always sae, and a baird in the hand is worth two in the bush...

Ummm...wait...I got tae gie that some mair thoct...

I micht hae spoken in haste.

- LH


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST,jethro
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 09:38 PM

"I'll raise the flag if you'll unfurl it for me."


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 09:40 PM

I'm going to spend Saturday polishing my flagpole.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Mar 02 - 10:52 PM

Aye, there's nowt mair sad a sight than a flag at half-mast. Ah mind the time Ah wis fichtin' wi' the regiment in the Falkland Islands, and a wee Argentinian on t'other side o' the hill drapped a mortar roond richt doon the chimney o' the latrine where mah sergeant major (Doon wis his name...Ben Doon) wis sequestered wi' a sheep that he wis interrogatin'. The sheep canna be trusted not tae switch sides, not because they are actual traitors mind ye, but mair due to the fact that they are a wee bit stupid, and dinna ken whit side they are on in the faerst place! So...doon comes this wee mortar roond and blows mah sergeant major and the sheep tae kingdom come! We found nowt but a boot wi' a foot in it, an' a large quantity o' wool that wis sae burnt as tae be of nae faerther use.

'Twas a sad day! We flew the flag at half-mast and played mournful bagpipe airs aw night long. At dawn the next day the whole band o' Argentinians came o'er the hill under a white flag o' surrender. Their morale wis totally broken doon for some reason...Ah dinna ken why...they focht well enough the day afore.

- LH


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: 53
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 12:22 PM

Max, the real Bob did not start this stupid thread, Maybe the one who did will feel stupid as Hell. He probly plays with his or hers all the time.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 12:50 PM

How can you play without them?

Kitty


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST,Glenbogie of Glenbogie
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 02:42 PM

I've only just noticed this one. Why didn't wee Bob ask "Who hasn't played with their genitals". That woulda been a short thread.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Jack The Lad
Date: 30 Mar 02 - 03:23 PM

We often play with gentiles at our folk festivals in Israel. There's no discrimination here. Jack The Lad


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 31 Mar 02 - 04:28 AM

Obviously it doesn't only affect the eyesight in some people.
BTW the real name of the identity stealing guest who started this thread, is now revealed as Richard Cranium! "Silver bells hanging on a string"
Failte.....Giok


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Cappuccino
Date: 01 Apr 02 - 03:26 AM

At last this thread comes back to reality, and I offer a true story. A Mudcatter who teaches at a convent school in Essex reports, in a religious education lesson, the remarkable comment from a child:

"... it all happened because the Jews were having problems with the unsympathetic genitals."

Now the meaning of life is clear.

- Ian B


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Mr Red
Date: 01 Apr 02 - 05:01 AM

to come back to topic
No but I played with Jenny Taylor once. Genitally.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Joe_F
Date: 01 Apr 02 - 10:23 AM

ObSongs (to the tune of Funiculi, Funicula):

Last night I stayed at home and masturbated.
It felt so good. I knew it would.
I lay upon my bed and masturbated.
It felt so nice. I did it twice.
My God, you should have seen me on the short strokes.
It felt so grand. I used my hand.
My God, you should have seen me on the long strokes.
It felt so neat. I used my feet.

Smash it, mash it, beat it on the floor,
Wrap it round the bedpost, cram it thru the door.
Now there are some who say that sexual intercourse is really great,
But for maximum satisfaction I prefer to masturbate.

-- Seems not to be in the database, but the search facility isn't working at the moment.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Apr 02 - 05:20 AM

Joe_F yes it is in the data base

I don't know what has happened to the Ask Sam bartender but he is appears very tipsey lately. It is hard to get good help these days.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 13 Apr 02 - 02:39 PM

D-I-Y is OK, but I prefer to delegate the task to ESSEX GIRL.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Apr 02 - 09:58 PM

The question is not germane to folkmusic.

You will be better off at http://www.jackinworld.com

Enjoy yourself there.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Joe_F
Date: 13 Apr 02 - 10:37 PM

Further obSongs:

"The Good Ship Venus" is in the database, but not with this chorus, which was sung at St Andrews University in 1959:

Frigging in the rigging,
Wanking on the planking,
Buggery in the snuggery --
There's fuck-all else to do.

Leftpondians N.B.: In British English "frig" means "masturbate". No acrobatics required.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: van lingle
Date: 14 Apr 02 - 07:29 AM

Ok, I'll confess to having fiddled with my G-string on a few occassions.

Carol and Don, despite the origins of this thread it doesn't seem to me that anyone, outside of a few anonymous cowards (whose ilk are all over this forum), are making personal attacks here. We're just having some good (un)clean fun.vl


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: YOR
Date: 14 Apr 02 - 11:15 PM

Will the quest who said "Shaking hands with the unemployed" please become a member and come back often!


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: CarolC
Date: 15 Apr 02 - 12:51 AM

Van Lingle, my problem was not with the content of most of the posts on this thread. My problem was with the lack of concern that people who were bringing it back to the top just for fun seemed to be showing for the person in whose name it was falsely started.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST,53 Bob - Not 53 - Nor 53 BOB
Date: 15 Apr 02 - 01:05 AM

I don't believe that "53" is a GUEST

Obviously, "53 BOB" is not, and could NOT be the same person as "53" the MEMBER.

You are jousting at windmills Carolquixote.

Read the strats, seagulls, and stratavarious threads and you descern a pin-prick reputation in a cannon's mouth.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 15 Apr 02 - 05:29 AM

Perhaps I should form a band called "MY GENITALS". Then if someone asks me what I'll be doing on a particular night, I can answer "I'll be playing............".


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: CarolC
Date: 15 Apr 02 - 10:15 AM

Jousting at windmills I may be, but they're my windmills.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Apr 02 - 04:21 AM

When you visit the mentally ill and the retard house that is someting you see them doing.


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Subject: RE: Ever played with your genitals?
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 16 Apr 02 - 06:36 AM

Let me put it this way -- I'm very nearsighted.

Steve


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This Thread Is Closed.


Mudcat time: 2 May 7:41 AM EDT

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