Lyr Req: Both Sides Now (The Toast Song) (parody)

Subject: Burnt the toast on both sides now
From: GUEST,Siwells
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 08:35 PM

Anyone got the words for this parody of the Joni M classic ?

Subject: Lyr Add: BOTH SIDES NOW (parody by Chris Clarke)
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 02 Apr 02 - 10:48 PM

G'day Siwells,

This song, by Chris Clarke, of Canberra, Australia (now in The Shiny Bum Singers ... [writing and] singing the folksongs and work shanties of the Australian Federal Public Servants ...?!?) was requested a year or two back and I finally got the words. I can't find the thread ... and seem to have cancelled my trace on it. The system is running too slow for me to do a full search, but I now have the words on file:

Both Sides Now (The Toast Song)
© 1971. Chris Clarke

In morning time when I arise
My breakfast fare is no surprise,
I pour the cornflakes, make the tea
And then reach for the bread.
I turn the gas on, light the grill,
And think this time I really will
Stay wide awake, make perfect toast
And start the day well-fed …
I'll lightly toast it both sides now,
Both up and down
To golden brown,
The toasting time I will recall,
I really can make toast
… After all.

But then I read, to pass the time,
The cornflakes advertising rhyme,
I hear the news, but don't take in
A single item read.
And then an old familiar smell
Invades the dream world where I dwell,
And fills the room with flames and smoke
And fumes of burning bread …
I've burnt the toast on both sides now,
Both front and back -
To charcoal black,
The toasting time I don't recall,
I really can't make toast
… After all.

And so I scrape it in the bin,
Which makes the slices rather thin,
Then wipe the knife upon the cloth
Back in my dream-like state.
I butter it with marmalade,
Then to correct the mess I've made
Spread butter on the other side
And stick it to the plate …
My toast is buttered both sides now,
Both left and right,
I'm none too bright,
The buttering I don't recall,
I really can't make toast
… At all.

Regards,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Burnt the toast on both sides now
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Apr 02 - 02:05 PM

Whoo Hoo!!! Thanks, been after this for ages!!

New one for the book!

LTS

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Burnt the toast on both sides now
From: MMario
Date: 03 Apr 02 - 02:19 PM

Original thread

Bob's first posting of the lyrics

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Burnt the toast on both sides now
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 03 Apr 02 - 02:45 PM

Bob

Thanks sooooooo much! A visiting Aussie lady called Lynne sang this at a singaround I ran at Chippenham Festival, Wiltshire, 2 years ago and we were all ROTFLOAO.

Kitty

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Burnt the toast on both sides now
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 03 Apr 02 - 11:02 PM

G'day Herga Kitty,

That was probably Lyn Mathieson. I got the words from Evan Mathieson, her husband (the taller and bearded one ...) who makes and plays autoharps.

The Mathiesons have been invoked by me in respect of some recent threads on the songs of Scottish/Australian singer/songmaker Harry Robertson.

Regards, (Enjoy ... !)

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Burnt the toast on both sides now
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 04 Apr 02 - 07:56 AM

Good to read this thread & the previous one about Chris's wonderful poem/song - especially reading about myself 2 years before I got on-line!! I own the original autographed copy!!, it's one of my treasures. Evan found the poem in Chris's files & started singing it - first time he brought it to the Loaded Dog (the club I now front after 6 years of collecting the money & setting up etc.) it brought the house down & I got the words from him asap. I occasionally read it as a poem - last time after someone in a session sang the original - it always goes over well, sometimes I have to shoosh 'em so I can continue reading. And Chris keeps on writing - he had another parody last weekend, tho I don't yet have a copy.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Burnt the toast on both sides now
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 05 Apr 02 - 08:57 AM

G'day again Herga Kitty,

Sandra in Sydney, in a personal e-mail, tells me that was probably not Lyn Mathieson ... who was not over in the Old Dart at that time, but Lyn Short, who was ... (just keeping the record straight).

Regards,

Bob Bolton