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BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE!
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Subject: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Bert Date: 23 Apr 02 - 09:18 PM Blair Witch Project. What an awful overhyped heap of crap from beginning to end. You watch it through 'cos you just Know it's got to get better and have some point to it, and of course it never does. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: catspaw49 Date: 23 Apr 02 - 09:22 PM I gotta' think about this one Bert because you have started it off with a serious contender!!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Amergin Date: 23 Apr 02 - 09:28 PM Forrest Gimp....hated that thing...especially hated tom hanks' character..... and then there was philadelphia....another predictable bit of drivel from hanks... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Celtic Soul Date: 23 Apr 02 - 09:41 PM Wow...too many to count. Up there might be any of the Chris Reaves "Superman" films after #2, but more importantly, the "Supergirl" movie starring Helen Slater (who has about as much acting talent as I've seen in some kindergarten plays). But for **all time lows**, there was this really gawd-awful Sci-Fi thing done in the 70's starring Richard Thomas of "Waltons" fame (John-Boy). It also had Sybil Danning as eye candy. I think it was called "Battle Beyond the Stars". That has to be the worst film I have ever had the displeasure of having sat through. Thank the Lord I was not the one who paid. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Steve Latimer Date: 23 Apr 02 - 09:49 PM The final Rocky movie with Dolf Lungren as the evil steroid taking Russian against Sly Stallone's All American hero. What a bunch of garbage. I enjoyed the ones before it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: GUEST,jonesey Date: 23 Apr 02 - 09:51 PM Shoot! Forest Gump's already taken! Though 'Great Balls of Fire' w/Dennis Quaid's take on Jerry Lee Lewis was pretty regrettable, too. Wynonna Ryder as his 'child bride' when she was obviously too old? Wretched! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Art Thieme Date: 23 Apr 02 - 09:55 PM It's never been made, but if it ever was, I'd most certainly hate a film based on the song "Waltzing With Bears". And I'd hate the song too---just like I always have hated it. That dumbass song, more than any other, signalled that the serious side of the folk revival was truly over --------- and the era of the lowly navel-gazing me-oriented singer/songwriter was about to erupt. Art Thieme |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Steve Latimer Date: 23 Apr 02 - 10:02 PM Oh yeah, and those awful Disney "Mighty Ducks" movies. What an insult to the wonderful game of hockey. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: catspaw49 Date: 23 Apr 02 - 10:08 PM Any Elvis movie. Almost any racing movie. "2001; A Space Odyssey".....complete trash and the first time I ever fell asleep in a theatre. "Wind"...A movie about 12 metre yacht racing that was simply tragic! What makes this one so bad is that they used several old 12's and had an excellent group of sailing advisors and yet the final product was beyond moronic. The last two-thirds of "Apocalypse Now".......After Robert Duvall says, "I love the smell of napalm in the morning," it drags out into blathering crappola. I'm sure I'll be back with more. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Lepus Rex Date: 23 Apr 02 - 10:10 PM Hah, I LIKED Blair Witch. No masterpiece, but better than most of the rest of the stuff in my local cineplex that year. So... I'd like to say "Titanic," but I've only seen about 10 awful minutes of it, so that's not fair. Ditto with "Pay it Forward." Yuck. I guess I'll have to go with anything made by Troma. They try sooo hard to make "so bad, they're good"-type movies, and it's so fucking forced. And their films have made me lose all kinds of respect for Lemmy Kilmister. (who, btw, I named my cat for) :( ---Lepus Rex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: GUEST,irishajo Date: 23 Apr 02 - 10:10 PM Beloved...I really wish I had those three hours back. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Amergin Date: 23 Apr 02 - 10:13 PM well lepus...I tortured myself with those few hours watching titanic....and never forgave myself... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Dicho (Frank Staplin) Date: 23 Apr 02 - 10:17 PM I lasted almost half an hour with Titanic. About the same with Amadeus. Both nonsense. Did anyone see Popguns? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Anahootz Date: 23 Apr 02 - 10:32 PM Anything with Keanu Reeves in it. He is the thespian version of 'NSync. Or the AntiChrist...I can't decide. If it weren't for him, "Point Break" might have been watchable. "The Matrix" might have been one of the greatest movies of all time. "Bill n' Ted" might have been moderately funny, instead of being used to euthanize stray animals. And, without him, Sandra Bullock would've blown up on that damn bus in "Speed", and that would be one less crappy actor to worry about. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Lepus Rex Date: 23 Apr 02 - 10:35 PM I think you're forgetting something about "Point Break," Anahootz: Patrick Swayze. ---Lepus Rex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Amergin Date: 23 Apr 02 - 10:44 PM anahootz...not much of a fan of reeves myself...but he is not nearly as bad as miles o'keefe....(known in my family as the unactor, for he was so bad directors only gave him a few words at a time).... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Anahootz Date: 23 Apr 02 - 10:56 PM That's why I said "Might have been watchable"... The trick to watching Patrick Swayze movies is this:
Get a good, stout cage and put about 10 white mice in it. I know this sounds cruel, but believe me, it is for your own good. Other methods have been tried...For instance, Porcupines were used to test "Ghost", but for some reason they started rutting at the sight of Whoopi Goldberg. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Ebbie Date: 24 Apr 02 - 12:13 AM I agree with the selection of Beloved. It was such a bad premise and so poorly thought out and developed- a friend and I still on occasion will throat-illy squeeze out B E L O V... and the other will shriek. And what about that scene where the mother jumps behind the bush to answer an uncontrollable urge- and by the sound effects you'd swear it was two elephants who had held it a long time! The female anatomy is just not built like that. Luckily I closed my eyes during the barfing scene... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Bert Date: 24 Apr 02 - 12:40 AM Oh dear! I hate to disagree with Art 'cos he's one of my all time favourite heroes. But my slant on folk misic is from the LESS serios side and I love songs like "The Old Sow Song" and "Tom Pierce". Can't say as I love "Waltzing with Bears" though. And GAWD Lepus! What on earth was there to LIKE about Blair Witch? Even the fake 'amateur movie' stuff was so poorly done that it was unbelievable from the start. I used to go to an amateur movie club, a hundred years or more ago, and even the worst of it was so much better than Blair Witch. The cinematograhy wouldn't even be acceptable on "America's Funniest" for Rice Cake. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: DonMeixner Date: 24 Apr 02 - 12:43 AM "Tess" The longest, dullest, most boring film ever with the possible exception of "Gone With The Wind'. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Bert Date: 24 Apr 02 - 12:44 AM I didn't even watch Titanic. Once you know the ending, what is there to watch? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Clinton Hammond Date: 24 Apr 02 - 12:54 AM I liked Blair Witch... 10 minutes of scare...half an hour of tension, and the rest was pretty darn funny... Worst? Any p.o.c. staring any SNL wanna-be after the original "Not Ready For Prime Time Players" tops my list of crap... Austin Powers, or a Chris Farley movie... or anything with what's his no-tallent name from Little Nicky... Crap... and not even entertaining crap... After that, it's a long list of animations from Dizney... blech... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Lepus Rex Date: 24 Apr 02 - 12:55 AM Hehe, so you sure you didn't like it, eh bert? :) What I enjoyed most about it was that % of the audience that, believe it or not, thought they were watching a REAL documentary, and that these poor students REALLY died. So the "amateur movie" stuff couldn't have been all that poorly done. Plus, it was low-budget, but made tons of monney thanks to clever marketing, and had a great ending, IMHO. ---Lepus Rex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Bert Date: 24 Apr 02 - 12:56 AM 10 minutes of scare? I guess you've never been REALLY scared. It was just pathetic all the way through. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Art Thieme Date: 24 Apr 02 - 01:00 AM bert, I was just being humorously facetious I thought. I actually have a tape of "Waltzing With Bears" by Jim Ringer and Mary McCaslin live that I really do enjoy. As always toward the end, Jim sounded drunk and lecherous as hell to boot. Made a good "fun" bar song out of it. Art |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Bert Date: 24 Apr 02 - 01:05 AM Ah, that's good, Art. Thanks for not letting me take things too seriously. It's been going that way lately and I need to lighten up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Trevor Date: 24 Apr 02 - 03:36 AM The worst film I have ever, ever, ever seen is 'Viva Knievel'. It was on telly late one night, I couldn't sleep, I'm a bike enthusiast so I thought I'd watch it. I kept on watching it because I couldn't believe that there would be a film in existence that was so dire. I wanted to tell my children that I had sat through the worst film in the universe. I am proud of the fact that I did. The other film that I don't ever want to see again is 'The Sound of Music'. I've only seen it once and it makes me want to throw up. What is wrong with those people who went to see it every week for years, making sure that it was on in Birmingham for ever. I HATE IT!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: GUEST,Hille Date: 24 Apr 02 - 03:54 AM The New Avengers - appalling drivel for 40 minutes (as long as we lasted) (altho' I don't HATE it - except Titanic and SoM have already gone, unfortunately not to that great reel can in the sky)
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: sophocleese Date: 24 Apr 02 - 08:15 AM Any sequel of Indiana Jones. Star Wars, The Phantom Menace, special effects courtesy of a million or more bucks, script picked up in a bargain bin at Walmart. Never even bothered to see the Titanic, nothing about it even began to interest me. Laura Crofts Tomb Raider was also really really bad. We saw it because the movie we wanted to see was no longer showing and we'd already got the babysitter. Waste of time and money even if it does have Angelina Jolie for the guys to drool over. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Nigel Parsons Date: 24 Apr 02 - 08:30 AM I find it hard to hate a film. For Love or Hate to flourish you need repeated contact. I may watch a bad film to the bitter, predictable, and totally disappointing end; but I know better than to watch it a second time. Admittedly there are films which I will not even spend the time to watch once, but I've never wasted the time to get to hate a film. Film cliches however, can be seen repeatedly. Some which I have come to hate include telling the tale as a bedtime story (Neverending Story; The Princess Bride; etc.,): The Americans saving everyone's bacon (even in conflicts in which they took no part): |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: irishajo Date: 24 Apr 02 - 09:03 AM Ebbie, I forgot about any barfing scene. Maybe I blocked it out. After one of the very first scenes with the dog being terrorized by the ghost...it was just horrific. Besides the grotesque scenes it was just bad. Just about any movie on Lifetime will send me screaming from the room. The bad thing is my mom loves them and always wants me to watch them with her! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Rich_and_Dee Date: 24 Apr 02 - 09:07 AM Ok, stand back, everyone. I might hurl even trying to remember the name. Ah yes, "The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover". It was released (or escaped) in the late 80's. As for "Titanic" I saw a t-shirt shortly after the film came out that said, quite simply and elegantly "The boat sank. Get over it". Rich |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Steve Latimer Date: 24 Apr 02 - 10:50 AM Dracula Sucks. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: SINSULL Date: 24 Apr 02 - 11:15 AM Oh gee. Thanks Rich. I had forgotten about that one. The scene with the badguy stuffing buttons down that weird little boy's throat, the same badguy forcing pages of a book down another guy's throat with a wooden spoon, two naked people trapped in a truck full of rotting meat, maggots and all...should I go on? My offering: "The Crying Game". Did anyone actually see the photograph of his "girlfriend" early in the movie and not know she was a guy? And anyone who insists that his girlfriend hold his hand while he pees in an outhouse deserves whatever he gets...as does she. That grossed me out. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Ebbie Date: 24 Apr 02 - 11:58 AM Irishajo, the barfing scene was at the table when BELOVED first comes back. There may have been another instance- but by then I was looking away during most of the film. Isn't it amazing how bad something can be- and yet the principals involved don't see it like that. I understand Oprah W. suspects that the film didn't do well because of the inherent racism in our society- and that's just not true. First, you make a good film... I don't see many movies, and most of the ones I see have been urged upon me by friends and family. This one was a BIG mistake. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: GUEST,Slickerbill Date: 24 Apr 02 - 12:05 PM Okay, I've had endless arguments about this one, akin to Seinfeld's Elaine's trouble over The English Patient. It's "Life is Beautiful". What a crock of over hyped crap. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: JenEllen Date: 24 Apr 02 - 01:24 PM Down Periscope. Cinematic stinker extrordinaire. My ex LOVED it. He was like a kid with a Disney movie with this one--and the film itself annoyed me so badly that I couldn't even sleep through it. All I could think was "Just how badly do they need the money?" Much agreed on the Dirty Dancing--that one also gets my vote for most hideous soundtrack. I was driving from SanFran to Vegas with a girlfriend just after the movie had come to theatres. She popped that in the cassette deck and all I heard was She's like the wind through my trees... What the hell is that all about? I ejected the tape and threw it out the window. Told her I'd buy her another one when we got home, but I wasn't going to be trapped for hours listening the THAT. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Little Hawk Date: 24 Apr 02 - 01:45 PM Oh, man. Serious contenders here... Let me add: Pretty Woman Armageddon Planet of the Apes (the recent one, that is) The Mummy (except for the Egyptian scene at the beginning, which was pretty marvelous...oh, and the charge of the Tuaregs was good, too...), Frogs- probably the WORST horror movie ever made, bar none. Now, I didn't see "Tomb Raider", but how could anyone expect a movie made on such a slender premise as that to be anything BUT awful? If you went to see it, it's your own fault you wasted your money! The only intriguing thing about Lara Croft is...how can she stand up at all with those things on her chest? (And are they real?) - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Little Hawk Date: 24 Apr 02 - 02:02 PM Oh, and this one... Independence Day What a stinker. I bet George Bush could write a better screenplay than that one. Well, maybe not much better, but still... - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: GUEST,Desdemona at work Date: 24 Apr 02 - 02:03 PM I'm SHOCKED that no-one has mentioned "Braveheart", the single worst piece-o-crap movie ever made! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Clinton Hammond Date: 24 Apr 02 - 02:39 PM Bravehart wasn't so bad... so long as you keep reminding yourself that it's FICTION!!!!!! Total fantasy! Too bad too... the story of Wallace would make a pretty darn good movie... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Hollowfox Date: 24 Apr 02 - 02:44 PM I dodged the bullet on a lot of these epics, cheapskate that I am. I just checked Laura Croft out of the library, though, and it didn't hold my interest, so I never finished watching it. Ho and hum. **But, I'm surprised that Popeye hasn't been named yet. Or maybe there's a mental block or two going around. Talk about dissapointments - Jules Feiffer writing the script, Robin Williams and Ray Walston playing father and son - I was looking forward to a live action Thimble Theater flick. We left the drive-in while one of us was still awake enough to drive home. It turns out we'd only seen about 1/3 of the movie. Nothing had happened yet, so it was hard to tell. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Pseudolus Date: 24 Apr 02 - 02:52 PM Hmmm, I have to admit, I have always been a fan of Tom Hanks. The diversity of characters he's been able to pull off, and pull off well imho, is impressive. But this isn't a thread to praise so my nomination would have to be "AI". Had difficulty staying awake on that one. And although I typically enjoy Robin Williams (particularly Good Will Hunting), I hated "What Dreams May Come". And "Ali". It's hard to believe that I was very impressed with Will Smith AND Jon Voigt and STILL did not like the movie. A movie that long had the opportunity to get deep into this story but it felt like the producers/directors couldn't decide between Ali the boxer, Ali the man, or both. An incredibly long movie that did none of the above. Three nominations.....I'm over my quota!!! Frank |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Amergin Date: 24 Apr 02 - 02:53 PM iu loved popeye.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Don Firth Date: 24 Apr 02 - 02:55 PM I rarely go to movies anymore because I don't like paying to listen to other people's cell phone conversations while some juvenile delinquent kicks the back of my seat. I either wait for them to hit the tube or rent the video. Granted, I lose the thrill of wide screen and surround sound, but I can always stop the tape to go to the john or raid the fridge, and I can freely burp and scratch without people pointing and giggling. For those who grasp the reference, it's called "Onslow mode." I've seen some really putrid stuff over the years, most of which I've probably repressed, but one I saw recently reached truly monumental heights of—what?—words fail me!
This could possibly be a candidate for the other movie thread, but I'm not sure it has any redeeming features. A "Texas-size" asteroid, much bigger than a dinosaur killer, is hurtling toward the earth (now there's an original plot!). Since NASA is too incompetent to deal with matters having to do with space, the Powers That Be opt to send Bruce Willis and his oil-drilling crew to the asteroid to drill a hole, plant a nuclear bomb, and blow it up from inside (one bomb, even a powerful nuke, is gonna do this?). So far, not too bad. But then—two shuttles (standard shuttles, the kind you see frequently in the news) are launched. They fly under power all the way to the asteroid, without aid of SRBs or big orange fuel tanks, in formation, swooping and maneuvering like F-16s—in the vacuum of space (well, gee, why not? They did it inStar Wars!). They crash-land on the asteroid at thousands of miles per hour, braking by plowing immense furrows in—what?—nickel iron?. Everybody survives!! They break out the dune-buggies and make their way to the optimum point to drill their hole, leaping over broad chasms easily because of the low gravity, but showing no other signs that gravity is any less than it is on earth. When the hole is finally drilled (after many trials and tribulations) and the bomb is planted, they return to one of the wrecked shuttles. (SPOILER ALERT!) Miraculously everything works! They take off, the asteroid blows up in the proverbial nick, and all's right with the world, oh joy oh joy!! But even a plot synopsis, bad as that is, gives little indication of the malodorous nature of this movie. Everybody in the movie is mad at everybody else, and no one speaks in a normal tone of voice; they all SHOUT AT THE TOPS OF THEIR LUNGS (this, I guess, is called "acting"). The action is non-stop, and the noise from the sound track is always at top volume (this, I guess, is called "exciting"). Everything goes wrong, but someone always manages to save the situation at the last possible second (this, I guess, is called "building suspense"). The stupidest line in the movie occurs when they're trying to take off from the asteroid as the timer on the nuke ticks away relentlessly (really original plot gimmick!). The engines won't fire. Someone begins tinkering desperately with an electrical panel. When the mandatory Russian cosmonaut says, "Let me look at it," someone else says, "No! That's classified!" (Which is to say, "We're all gonna die when the asteroid blows, but by God, our military secrets [on a space shuttle?] are safe!") The funniest (and best) line in the whole movie is the cosmonaut's response, as he forces the American aside. "American, Russian, what's the difference? They're all made in Taiwan!" At which point, he bangs the panel with his fist and—lo!—the engines fire!! After watching this movie on video, I had to open the windows and air out my apartment. Roger Ebert called it "A one-hundred and fifty minute trailer." And another reviewer said that he would have given it five stars if the bloody asteroid actually had destroyed the earth! Armageddon is "Sci-Fi" at it's absolute worst, and a shimmeringly fetid example of how wretched Hollywood can sometimes get (emphasis on the "retch.").
One reviewer (not a pro) on the Internet Movie Data Base said he thought it was the best movie he had ever seen. He probably speaks Klingon, too. But strangely enough, I recommend this movie, just so you can say that you've actually seen the
Don Firth
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: sophocleese Date: 24 Apr 02 - 04:38 PM Gee Don I didn't think it was THAT bad:) Only kidding, I think you nailed it pretty good there. U571 was awful. Wing Commander was silly. At one point the spaceship is sitting on an asteroid trying to avoid being seen by the enemy. Everybody is very, very quiet just as they are on submarines because of the danger of sonar. I turn to my husband and say "If they're in a vacuum why are they worried about sound waves?" But hey it gave a chance for the actors to show they could look still and vacant even when they're supposed to. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: RangerSteve Date: 24 Apr 02 - 05:05 PM Going back a few years, how about Nashville? I never understood why critics seem to love it. And I'd like to go on record as being the first here to say that 2001 - A Space Odyssey struck me as a bunch of crap. Robin Williams annoys me. I avoid any movie that he stars in. I was angry after seeing Contact with Jodie Foster. I like her, but I couldn't make any sense out of the movie. Speaking of which, Anna and the King was way to long. I like the musical, and I always wondered what happened to Tuptim. The non-musical made it quite clear, and now I'm sorry I asked. I'm not sure I can watch the musical again, knowing what really happened. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: SINSULL Date: 24 Apr 02 - 05:07 PM Braveheart...oh god yes! What a never ending turkey! Add to the list "Trainspotting". I saw it in a filled to capacity theater. During the swan dive into the filthy toilet bowl full of diarrhea, 20 people walked out. By the time it was over only 25 remained. I think I stayed just to see how many were left. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Amergin Date: 24 Apr 02 - 05:12 PM love trainspotting.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Most moronic movie that you HATE! From: Peter T. Date: 24 Apr 02 - 05:16 PM The movie (the title has escaped me, thank goodness) with Alex Baldwin and Meg Ryan where she is an old person reincarnated, and he isn't, or something. Unbelievably bad. "At Long Last Love", Peter Bogdanovich's musical, is on my list of indescribably bad films. It just went on and on getting worse. "The Phantom Menace" is the worst movie I have seen in the last ten years. Utterly, completely wasted film, terribly acted, dismal script, racist (almost nobody mentions the Jewish scrap dealer with the big nose), and excruciatingly dull predictable special effects. And what was with the second rate evil demon? Huh? "Titanic" had thirty seconds of greatness, worth the whole three hours -- the scene where the hero sinks out of sight in the icy water is terrific. Here's a question: the worst James Bond film, not including the Lazenby film (in a category of its own)? |