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BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread
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Subject: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: catspaw49 Date: 01 May 02 - 11:20 AM To expedite the trolling and flaming here on the Mudcat Forum, we ask that you fill out the following before posting. This will help us know that you are active and wish to be noticed so we can proceed to stumble all over ourselves trying to explain things that aren't worth discussing to begin with. PLEASE COMPLETE THE FOLLOWING BEFORE TROLLING OR FLAMING Today I will be posting as: ___Member ___Guest, with name ___Guest, without name ___Member who has logged out, now an unnamed Guest My mood today is: ___Just playful ___Cynical ___Seriously pissed off ___Just my normal asshole self I will be posting to: ___Existing threads ___New thread(s) which I will start ___Forgotten threads which I will drag up ___All of the above I will be attacking: ___A single person ___A group of people ___Randomly to see who bites ___All of the above After posting I will: ___Leave the thread alone and sit back and watch the action ___Continue posting countering all arguments with half-assed logic ___Attack the person who seems the most excitable ___All of the above depending on the thread I will be Trolling/Flaming in the following category: ___Northern Ireland ___Middle East ___Gun Control ___General Bigotry and/or Racism ___Mudcat Clique/Inner Circle ___Religion, please list denomination or sect here____________ ___Mudcat shortcomings ___DT shortcomings ___Treatment of Guests ___American bashing ___Any other jingoistic bashing, please specify _____________ ___Mudcat is falling apart/Max is an asshole ___Individual member attack, please list member(s)________________ ___Just freelancing, potential subject__________________ ___All of the above Thank you for your time in filling out this questionaire. We hope you have an unsatisfying experience and drop dead soon. Spaw---Prolific American Charter Member of the Mudcat Clique and Prostetnic Director of the Gang of 12 |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: GUEST,Chip A. Date: 01 May 02 - 11:24 AM Lovely, Thanks |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: GUEST Date: 01 May 02 - 11:26 AM Sure, and this will fix the problem right quick. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: GUEST Date: 01 May 02 - 11:28 AM Thank you, I will certainly use it the next time I troll. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: GUEST Date: 01 May 02 - 11:46 AM Question is, will a troll thread, creating a specific troll questionnaire, created by one of the master trolls of the group, be taken seriously by the True Trolls of Mudcat (tm)? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: catspaw49 Date: 01 May 02 - 11:59 AM Well I certainly would hope so!!!! We need this information to determine the how, who, and why, responses. You will have a much more satisfying trolling experience if we can focus in on your real needs for a particular day. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: GUEST Date: 01 May 02 - 12:01 PM OK, now that you've done the clever work, where will we be able to access the results, Spaw? BTW, I think you missed an item. Shouldn't Mudcat censorship be on that list of categories somewhere? |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Amos Date: 01 May 02 - 12:02 PM ROTLMAO! Ya got a few strokes left in ya yet, Spaw! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Big Mick Date: 01 May 02 - 12:15 PM As another Charter member of the Inner Clique and Gang of 12, but more importantly, as the Keeper of the Sacred Fertility Rite, and most importantly, as a full Partner in the firm of Patterson, Fielding, Swan, and Lane, Layabouts at Large and for hire, I need to ask a question of you, Bro. Where the hell are the references to sex, and the requisite plug for the firm? Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: catspaw49 Date: 01 May 02 - 12:23 PM Mick, I really hated to include anything along those lines as it might dissuade some from using the form. You know, they'd feel like they were giving up too much just to post here and that "The Firm" would use that information to raid their bank accounts and access the records of their Shrinks to expose them as the "Two-Bit, Dickless Wonders" that they are. No, I think it's better to just get the basics here........... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: GUEST,Betty Date: 01 May 02 - 12:24 PM Well, you certainly have time on your hands and you forgot to mention anything about PMS! Chauvinist Pig! Sexist Troll! etc. etc. etc. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: GUEST Date: 01 May 02 - 12:27 PM Oh he isn't sexist Betty. He just sees the world divided into those with dicks and balls (the good folk) and those without them. Women don't count in the equation a'tall. Not sure if that is sexist? Well, ask Spaw, I'm sure he can give the definitive expletive for it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: GUEST,Betty Date: 01 May 02 - 12:33 PM What a great screaming wanker! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Jim Dixon Date: 01 May 02 - 12:59 PM Great list, Spaw! In case there are any trolls out there who haven't tried all these techniques yet, it should spur them to new creativity. (Well, activity anyway.) We also need a questionnaire for people who think they ought to respond to trolls, so the trolls can more easily recognize them. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: catspaw49 Date: 01 May 02 - 01:10 PM That's a good idea Jim. We seem to be going through our cyclical period of high troll activity at the moment and it's hard to keep up. Maybe the list will help. I can see already that modifications are needed as I have offended several thoughtful trolls for which I wish to apologize. Or maybe I should grab a ham and cheese on rye....with a good mustard.........and a pickle..........maybe some chips too..............and a beer. Tough decision. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: DougR Date: 01 May 02 - 01:17 PM I wonder if Kendall REALLY likes Llamas? DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Little Hawk Date: 01 May 02 - 01:20 PM LOL! ROTFLH! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Best laugh I've had today. Let's see now...hmmm... I'm gonna log off and post as...GUEST, with name (Igwig the Iguana). My mood today is...just playful. I will be posting to...this thread. I will be attacking...my lunch. After posting I will...sit back and watch the action. I will be trolling in the following category...discrimination against lizards. Be right back! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: GUEST,Igwig the Iguana Date: 01 May 02 - 01:24 PM Well, I do hope that this will in some way serve to lessen the rampant discrimination against lizards that has been displayed by both members AND guests on this despicable forum! Lizards have ears too, you know, and we don't like what we're hearing. Igwig |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Paul from Hull Date: 01 May 02 - 01:24 PM Score AT LEAST one for Catspaw with this! It certainly seemed to 'push the buttons' of Troll - 12:27 PM Not sure how we get to the others of the same ilk who posted earlier in the thread though....tell their Parents? (if only we (& if THEY) knew who both their parents were....) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Paul from Hull Date: 01 May 02 - 01:26 PM Ooops...sorry for the double post...my Browser had something of a Conniption fit there.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Don Firth Date: 01 May 02 - 01:31 PM On the subject of trolls, flamers, and that small percentage of guests who are here, not to participate, but to fulfill their pitiful emotional needs by trying to stir up trouble:— Wasps can be a real pain in the neck when you go on a picnic. The fried chicken and potato salad come out and suddenly the wasps appear, buzzing around your mouth, trying to attack your chicken leg, and generally being so annoying that you almost wish you'd stayed home. They're very maneuverable and oblivious to your efforts to swat them or wave them off. Wasps rarely deter people from going on picnics, but they can certainly reduce one's enjoyment because of their primitive needs, aggressive behavior, and insectile persistence. There is a way to increase your chances of enjoying your next picnic with minimal interference from wasps. Take a standard slop-bucket or other open container, put about two or three inches of water in the bottom, and add a couple of squirts of detergent to the water. Set the bucket under a tree or large bush a good distance away from where you're having the picnic—but not too far. Twenty or twenty-five feet, maybe. Then, take a piece of rotten meat, preferably the most disgustingly smelly piece of rotten fish you can find. With a piece of string, hang the rotten fish from a branch of the bush or tree so that it is well below the rim of the bucket and just a couple inches above the water. The wasps, who are cruising the area anyway, smell the rotten fish (far more pungent than your fried chicken) and head for it. Some wasps fight each other for the fish. Many of them gorge on the fish to the point where they become so heavy they can't rise above the rim of the bucket, and they drop into the water. The detergent breaks the surface tension of the water and the wasps sink to the bottom. This won't get rid of them all, but it will divert their attention from your picnic, and reduce their number. Whenever we try to have a picnic, we need to give the wasps somewhere to go and play. Considering the number of wasps who immediately pounced on this thread, I believe 'Spaw has made a very good effort here. (I hope I'm not giving away the secret.) Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: GUEST,Igwig the Iguana Date: 01 May 02 - 01:32 PM BLOODY HELL!!! That perverse swine, Little Hawk, is pretending to be me, and there is nothing I can do to stop him. Here I am, still trapped with the dipso madwoman, and I have to put up with this sort of bollocks besides! It seems that the only route left for me is to bloody well log off permanently, or else swallow my reptilian pride and join this demented forum of geriatric folkies and lizard-haters under a permanent member name. AAAERRGHHH! What to do, what to do... It's not bloody well easy being green. Igwig |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: GUEST,the one and only true Igwig the Iguana Date: 01 May 02 - 01:46 PM Listen you little Kermit wanna-be! I've had it with your pre-emption of my identity. I am the ONLY Igwig! Me! And as Iguana are the supreme form of lizard-life, and lizards are superior to all other life forms - you can just take your muppet amphibian self and kiss my cloaca! Igwig |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Jim Dixon Date: 01 May 02 - 02:16 PM Don Firth: You ARE giving away a secret—one of many—but don't worry. As the Sufis say, "The Secret protects itself." Those who could cause some damage if they understood it, won't understand it anyway, any more than the wasps do. A somewhat famous (but controversial) thinker once said (and this is a paraphrase; please forgive me for not looking up the quote right now): "My admirers and my detractors equally bore me. Whenever I can, I introduce them to each other and let them fight it out. That's the only way I can get them to leave me alone." Only the very egoless can consistently take this position, but I recommend it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: GUEST,Betty the Wasp Date: 01 May 02 - 02:42 PM So, Don, you are the bugger who has been spoiling our lively hood! What do you think you are doing? We wasps have the right to the outdoors. If you don't like it, stay inside! And, Igwig - if you do not stop eatting our brotherhood, we will get you and it won't be pretty! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Pseudolus Date: 01 May 02 - 02:49 PM I think the real question to be answered at the end of the questionaire is, "How much Truth could a True Troll Troll if a True Troll could Troll Truth?" I even had trouble TYPING that.....LOL!!!! Frank |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: GUEST,Betty the Wasp Date: 01 May 02 - 03:03 PM At least you can type. We wasps have to hire someone to type for us. Your problem is that you just can't be nice to wasps because of some unforgettable little sting you may have gotten when you were a child. Well, you deserved it. Playing --Buzz buzz - around where you shouldn't --buzz buzz - have been. Buzz buzz buzz buzz...buzz ..buzz ...buzz ...........bz ......b ......... |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Thonolan Date: 01 May 02 - 03:24 PM catspaw49, thank you, that's the best laugh I've had in quite some time...funny stuff. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Paul from Hull Date: 01 May 02 - 03:28 PM *LOL* Frank/Pseudolus ...& Betty....& Iggy........*G* |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Herga Kitty Date: 01 May 02 - 04:49 PM Thanks, Spaw and ItI. How very erudite. I hadn't realised that lizards have ears - I thought it was just corn. Kitty |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 01 May 02 - 04:51 PM In Morocco, where they drink mint tea, the wasps get a glass full of the sugary mint leaves from tea, stuck at the end of the table and it seems to keep them happy enough and out of the way. I think this thread is more like that. It'll pull in trolls that like sweet stuff, but the nasty ones won't hang around.
Something I've just discovered, though it's obvious enough - if you click on GUEST at the start of a post, it treats it like any other name, and the screen come eventually with all the GUEST posts. (Mind, there's so many of them you have to push the STOP button, and the more recent ones will come up).
And if any unnamed GUEST ever wants to check out why there is sometimes a certain coolness towards the practice, an evening spent going through some of those back posts might be enlightening. Even enjoyable if that's the kind of stuff you like.
You can do it with the GUESTs with labels attached too of course, which is much more interesting. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Don Firth Date: 01 May 02 - 05:03 PM
SWAT!!!Oh, yuck!! |
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Subject: How best to flame? From: GUEST,Uncookied Member Date: 01 May 02 - 05:05 PM As a member who flames, I've found 'Spaw's suggestion and 'tick box' approach very useful. I am however unsure as to how I should implement it. Am I to append every flame thread that I create with my reasons for starting said thread, or should I post my reasons in the initial thread? My experience suggests that the top three ways to get a 'result' are to:
1. Suggest that Americans are really stupid 2. Suggest that Americans are really stupid
3. Suggest that Americans are really stupid
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Amos Date: 01 May 02 - 05:12 PM
If we have no peace,
Mother Teresa |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Steve in Idaho Date: 01 May 02 - 06:28 PM
Snooooozzin again.
Steve |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: John Routledge Date: 01 May 02 - 06:33 PM I opened this thread with some trepidation!! Restored my faith :0) Great Stuff.
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Bill D Date: 01 May 02 - 07:23 PM ....ya' miss a few days, and whadda ya' find?..... BS, MS and PhD....some funny, some stupid (some will get the reference to the OLD joke) ..as my daddy used to say, "It's the same...only different" |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 01 May 02 - 08:04 PM Well "fat" would probably be more effective than "stupid" for Americans.
For the English Catters being rude about Martin Carthy might do it.
For the Canadians I suppose it might be assuming they are (US)Americans. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Bert Date: 01 May 02 - 08:18 PM Well Igwig, it just depends what kind of lizard you are. If you are an Agama or a Monitor or even (heaven forbid) a Skink, then you'll be accepted here for what you are. But if you are one of those stupid, ugly, mean spirited, heathen Iguanas then you can piss of to www.iguana.folk.org. And Don a much better way to treat wasps is to ignore them. They are normally quite tame, you can hand feed them, with a drop of jam on your finger, or beer if you can spare it. Kinda like flamers really. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Rolfyboy6 Date: 01 May 02 - 08:19 PM Spaw, what about those of us in the outer clique? Are we to be left out? I can still remember the thrill of my first flame and the way the flamer lay there dead like an armadillo on the information superhighway. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Little Hawk Date: 01 May 02 - 11:10 PM LOL!!! What a wonderful thread this is. Bert - Hand-feeding wasps??? Yikes! What nerve you must have. I believe you, but...I am not eager to join you in that practice. You have grievously insulted poor Igwig, and I expect you will receive a vitriolic response when he logs back on (I understand that he sneaks in use of the computer when his mistress is blotto, and flaked out on the sofa or some other handy surface like that...) I like Spaw's Trolling and Flaming instructions so well that I am going to laminate and frame them. Absolutely brilliant! I am still laughing every time I read them. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Troll Date: 01 May 02 - 11:19 PM Why's ev'erbody always pickin' on ME? troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: michaelr Date: 02 May 02 - 12:06 AM What a waste of time. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Troll Date: 02 May 02 - 12:56 AM Yes. And you sat and read the whole thing. troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: michaelr Date: 02 May 02 - 02:01 AM I don't respond to trolls. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Devilmaster Date: 02 May 02 - 02:09 AM sounds like you are to me! :) Steve |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: michaelr Date: 02 May 02 - 02:46 AM ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: MMario Date: 02 May 02 - 08:42 AM poor troll - but we know you aren't a "Troll" in the internet sense - and besides- you always identify yourself! |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: GUEST,Truthtroller Date: 02 May 02 - 09:34 AM Are you lonely Spaw, is that it?? Are you worried someone else might want to be Queen Bee. No need to . You have all these other sad people buzzing around after you. T.T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: The Great TROLL/FLAME Thread From: Pseudolus Date: 02 May 02 - 11:44 AM Sounds like a song opportunity......I felt the need to make this a music thread....*BG*
Are you lonesome Catspaw, Are you lonesome Catspaw
Are the keys on your keyboard, all faded and grey
Does your heart fill with pain, when they flame you again Frank P.S. Just kidding about that Inner Clique thing, although rumor has it I am #125324 on the waiting list to get in!!! |