BS: The things kids do or say!

Subject: The things kids do or say!
From: Skipper Jack
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 06:22 AM

During term time I do shanty workshops for schools and I work mainly with children of primary school age. In one session I was asking them about the various parts of a sailing ship. Somehow we got around to the forecastle, galley etc. I asked them what they called the toilets on board?

The answer came as quick as lightning from one bright spark: "The Poop Deck!"

I heard a little gem on the local radio recently. An eleven year old girl was running in a hurdles race and was winning all the way but she knocked the last two hurdles down. Instead of carrying on winning the race, she turned back and set the hurdles up again!

Subject: RE: The things kids do or say!
From: alanabit
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 08:27 AM

The Nativity plays in schools alays throw up a stack of beauties every year. My favourite is about the little boy who was deemed "too small" to play Joseph and was given the role of the innkeeper instead. Come the evening of the performance, Mary and Joseph knocked on the Inn door to be greeted with the tearful words," You can come in Mary, but you can PISS OFF Joseph, because I wanted that part!"

Subject: RE: The things kids do or say!
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 08:30 AM

When I was doing my teacher training I asked a group of year 7 children (aged 11-12) if they name any composers I got the usual Bach and Wagner and Chopin ( pronounced the way they are spelt) then a little boy his hand up and said Boathaven Miss??? I tried so hard not to laugh but it was funny. I calmly said "do you mean Beethoven?" and the boy replied "well that's what I said innit?" trying to cover up his mistake!!!!!

Cat

Subject: RE: The things kids do or say!
From: DaveP
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 08:42 AM

Eating out with my son several years ago he was picking at his main course, obviously not wanting to eat it. I said,'You have to eat that or you'll have no pudding.' His reply was, 'I can't eat any more, but I've still got room in my pudding pipe'.

It's not only children who sometimes say odd things.

Many years ago my ex-wife was sorting out breakfast and being harrassed by our two cats who felt they should be fed first. 'Honestly', she said 'You cats are like animals'.

Must be in the genes!

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: Mrrzy
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 10:07 AM

After setting fire accidentally to something I can't remember now what it was, somebody said Oh, look - it's been burned to withereens! (I had the perfect visual of blackened smoldering smithereens...)

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: dwditty
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 10:44 AM

My 9 year old daughter was explaining to her six year old sister that the tooth fairy was really Mommy. My six year old replied, "Don't be silly. Mommy can't be the tooth fairy. She is home every night."

Oh if we all had such faith.....lol.

dw

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 12:55 PM

" You can come in Mary, but you can PISS OFF Joseph, because I wanted that part!"

God, what enviable courage!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: Skipper Jack
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 01:21 PM

Years ago I was a bus conductor and had a regular route and therefore got to know my passengers pretty well. One day, we passed one of our regular customers - schoolboy who was on his bike. I shouted to him "What are you doing on the bike, then?" He quickly replied, "Riding It!"

Ooh! I hate smart kids!

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 01:29 PM

Driving around a curve a bit too fast with a five-year old int he passenger seat, the centripetal force made her lean over in her seat.

Child: "You knocked me over!!"
Adult:   "No, I didn't knock you over -- I just drove around a corner."
Child: "Oh, no. You didn't knock me over. You just spilled me OUT!"

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 02:30 PM

A friend was doing a school gig several years ago. While doing "drunken sailor,' he asked for suggestions for verses and one kid came up with "Drag him 'cross the deck 'til he's full of splinters." We use this one regularly in his honor.

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 02:31 PM

A friend was doing a school gig several years ago. While doing "drunken sailor,' he asked for suggestions for verses and one kid came up with "Drag him 'cross the deck 'til he's full of splinters." We use this one regularly in his honor.

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: GUEST,Melani
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 02:46 PM

My husband, a developmental biologist, once worked at the Integral Urban House in Berkeley, CA, an experiment in ecological urban living that included a chicken coop. One day he came home and in his precise, scientific way announced, "One of the hens gave birth to a chicken puppy."

Re: Poop Deck--Chanteyranger once swore (and he sounded serious--a rare event) that it's called that because that's what they really used it for, back in the dim and distant past, trusting the boarding seas to wash it clean. He said it was true, but it still sounds like a pile of you-know-what to me.

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: brid widder
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 03:53 PM

My four year old grandson is facinated by archeology programmes on the TV... when his dad asked why he was digging in the garden he said he was 'looking for ancient Egypt'.... well it has to be somewhere...

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: Deda
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 05:23 PM

A more likely source of the term "poop deck" is the latin work "puppis", which means the stern. It sometimes is used to mean the whole ship, which is about like calling the ocean "the deep" -- which Romans did, too, "altus".

When a relative of mine was a cute but witheringly rude 3-year-old, a lady came up and clucked and cooed over her in a store where the child's mother was shopping. She (the kid) answered back, "I don't talk babytalk, stupid."

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 05:49 PM

Traditionally the dirty duty was done up forward, not back aft, hanging over the chains, at least up to the point where inside heads were invented.

The early two-castle design of merchant vessels had an outline something like a barge with a house on either end, called the forward castle and the stern castle. The poop deck's name comes from the Latin puppis, meaning stern, as Deda points out. P'raps it was the castella puppa at one point?

A

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 08:07 PM

Joe (3 yrs old) "Urbifibity am biot"

Me "It's 'To infinity and beyond'"

Joe "No it's not!"

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: Sorcha
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 10:44 PM

Could puppis be related to pubis?? (grin) Or maybe pupae.......

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: khandu
Date: 02 Aug 02 - 11:36 PM

When my son, Jason, was 3 or 4, we were watching birds in a nearby tree. I asked him how the birds knew how to fly. With great authority, he said, "After God made them, he called them all out into a field and said 'Watch.'. God started running across the field, flapping his arms. The birds asked, "Is that how you fly?'. God said, 'Yes, now you try it!'". I was quite impressed with his tale and I asked him why we cannot fly. He confidently responded, "Because God din't give us any febers."

khandu

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: Firecat
Date: 03 Aug 02 - 11:57 AM

I found this funny - I child mind for my next door neighbour (whose daughter has just turned nine) and one night when I'd got her, we were watching a programme about the Bee Gees. Munchkin turned round to me and said "When was this filmed?" I told her earlier this year. Cue confused expression. "I thought that they died in 1999!" I managed to control my laughter, bearing in mind a few weeks earlier she thought that Elton John had died! I know the Bee Gees and Elton have been around for a while, but.....!

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 03 Aug 02 - 12:41 PM

My cousin was colouring using felt tip pens. One pen had run out and she couldnt get it to work. She had seen her brother sucking on the nib of a biro to get it to work so she turned to her mum and said "will it work if I suck it?" !!!!! Her dad left the room chuckling and "Yes Dear!!" Mum was suitabley embarrassed.

Cat

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: Skipper Jack
Date: 03 Aug 02 - 04:31 PM

Another smart-arse school kid here!

Again it's back to the buses. My bus was full when it approached a bus stop and couldn't take any one on board.

This young lad asked me how long the next bus will be? Feeling in a jocular mood, I said "The same length as this one!" As the bus pulled away, he shouted "Is there a Sh*t house on the back of that one as well?"

Ooh! I hate smart kids!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: John O'L
Date: 04 Aug 02 - 07:02 AM

My four-year-old daughter coughed and I said I hoped she wasn't catching my cold. She looked at me as if I had seven heads.
"No Daddy," she said, "I'm catching MY cold."

Subject: RE: BS: The things kids do or say!
From: GUEST,eoin o'buadhaigh
Date: 04 Aug 02 - 02:20 PM

some years ago I used to show Irish Wolfhounds. One morning before a show I noticed my dog dragging his bum across the law. I squeezed the anal gland to help clear the problem (not a nice task, but in his case necessary) later after washing up I lifted my three year old daughter down the steps at our back door. As i turned to lock the door I heard the dog whine, looking around my daughter had the dogs tail in the air and her finger jammed in his back passage. I told her you dont do that sort of thing only to hear her reply "but daddy do's it" The neighbour almost died laughing. Kids!!!