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BS: Feeling unnecessary
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Subject: Feeling unnecessary From: kendall Date: 08 Sep 02 - 07:37 PM So, what do you do when you are feeling unnecessary? I've had a shitty day: big arguement with my republican daughter, an all day headache, plus a problem which I'd rather not post. So, I turned down a dinner invitation, went to the grocery and bought a two pound lobster. Had a cup of strong regular coffee, and, I'm starting to feel almost human again. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: harpgirl Date: 08 Sep 02 - 07:47 PM ...you and Nathan, both. First his girlfriend of three years asks him to break up with her, then he bowls an 88 in league bowling after bowling three games over 200 the night before, then the starter in his car craps out and we have to leave it at the bowling alley. Nothing bad has happened to me but that's because nothing is happening. I did get a nice call from an old friend...hope your day tomorrow is better, old boy! hg |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Joe Offer Date: 08 Sep 02 - 07:55 PM Well, Kendall, you can come around here, and we'll remind you how much we enjoy spending time with you. Hang in there. Oh, and have some corn on the cob with that lobster. -Joe- |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Banjer Date: 08 Sep 02 - 08:01 PM Kendall, I've had days like that...What do I do you ask? Well, usually such days occur when I am at work, or someplace other than at home. (They all know better than to start anything at home **BG**) I come home and talk to two pairs of brown eyes and two cold noses that stand waiting at the door eager for me to come in, tails wagging a mile a minute, ready to pounce on and lick me into submission. Once I pass that pleasant welcome home, I go get a harmonica, banjo, guitar, or dulcimer and usually start out with some sad tune like 'I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry'. Then eventually with the cold noses of the best friends I could have poking into me wanting attention and my tunes changing to songs that are more upbeat and happy, the days misery melts away and things start to look better again. I guess we need some miserable times to be able to really enjoy the good ones, huh? Hope yours get better soon! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: MMario Date: 08 Sep 02 - 08:07 PM The lobster was a good move. so was the coffee. So (probably - *grin*) was venting a bit here on the cat. Shove the problems in the back seat of the car and drive on to tomorrow. A couple miles down the road shove the trash in the back seat onto the roadside and drive away from it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Peg Date: 08 Sep 02 - 08:22 PM erm, maybe you could find a trash can instead of leaving it at the roadside??? :) Tomorrow is another day. To buy lobster. Sometimes it is the little things that get us through, so be thankful you know how to be good to yourself. Many people do not. They'd eat a can of beans instead of a lobster. And let that good dog of yours cheer you up! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: kendall Date: 08 Sep 02 - 08:27 PM My poor dog has a very swollen lip. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Bobert Date: 08 Sep 02 - 08:54 PM Nothin worse than having one of your kids growin' up to be Rebublicans... Danged. Bad enough to have 'em grow up to be Denocrats... But Rubublicans? Wow. Sorry Kendall. It'd take more than a lobster to fix that mess. Sorry you're having a crappy day but ya' know what about crappy days?... They pass... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: mack/misophist Date: 08 Sep 02 - 09:01 PM When I feel worthless, useless, or just plain wasted protoplasm. I force myself to stop and remember; on any scale of any significance. I AM USELESS. So are you. So is everyone else. Live with it. It's normal and has no meaning to speak of. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: wysiwyg Date: 08 Sep 02 - 09:22 PM Mmario, they will hunt you down. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Amergin Date: 08 Sep 02 - 09:46 PM hide all the sharp objects... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: DonD Date: 08 Sep 02 - 10:33 PM When you just have to throw your head back and ... yowl, stop and recall that not too long ago you couldn't yowl. That should be enough to make you smile! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Bert Date: 08 Sep 02 - 10:38 PM Hey Kendall y'ol fart, You're never unnecessary around here. Just log in and we'll try to cheer you up. And I hope that daughter of yours grows up one day;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: katlaughing Date: 08 Sep 02 - 10:45 PM So if your dog has a very swollen lip, he will need you to help him eat, right?:-) How about you tell us a story? And, tomorrow, I am sure there are some peoples there who would love a story or two from you. Maybe a friend needs a visit as much as you might need to visit them. The daughter probably needed to hear whatever you had to say and it will sink in, eventually. I am finding that out with my own. Sometimes reverse psychology works...don't let her know how much it rankles that she's in the enemy camp.:-) Go out on the water, tomorrow, or watch the sun rise, listen to the birds, pick some flowers and smell them. Work on your book...if you write it they will buy...that's already been proven. How long has it been since you've been on a trip just for the sake of getting out and away? Treat yourself well, you deserve it. luvyakat |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Justa Picker Date: 08 Sep 02 - 11:05 PM Have a shot of that good scotch whisky....then pick up your Taylor and just start picking it...and if you feel like singing, cool..if not just pick it....and while you're doing that, think about what your musical gifts have meant and continue to mean to so many. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Big Mick Date: 08 Sep 02 - 11:36 PM I grab the old Low D whistle and head for the hill.......preferably at night.......I look for Orion........and play. Fixes most problems fairly quickly. When I get back home, I grab a Guinness. Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Amos Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:04 AM Look at it this way, pal -- you have a great opportunity here to start feeling better and better!! How many people are sitting in such a huge chance to go upscale in a hurry? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Ebbie Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:38 AM My daughter has the same problem... When she met and married a conservative Republican lawyer she suddenly developed a skin that has sometimes seemed to me lets in only the more IMPORTANT people in the world. For instance, when they once found themselves caught in a Reagan motorcade they were absolutely thrilled. When we meet, we just don't talk politics, although we're both good at the one-liners. I have some hope for her however; lately she has changed her tune a bit. Danged!! I should hope so. Kendall, keep in mind you've had a rough year; even though there was a happy outcome, emotions were jerked around for a long period of time. Not surprising you'd have an occasional bad day. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Mudlark Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:39 AM Hang in there Kendall...things will get better. And don't worry about your daughter too much...underneath all the rhetoric the 2 parties aren't really all that different anyway. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:56 AM You know, Kendall, I was reading Banjers messsage, and it gave ME a good laugh.
Back when I was living in a one room apartment in New York City(yes there is such a thing as a one room apartment,) I got a couple of young catlings... older than kittens, but not yet cats. The female cat loved to lick me, and I was sitting at a table with a friend in a small restaurant in Newark, New Jersey (yes, they have restaurants in Newark,) after another sleepless night pouring out my heart to him. As I described my problem to him...
"When I come home at night, she's there at the door waiting to pounce on me, the second I open the door. I can't even get my foot in the apartment before she's all over me, kissing me. I try to knock her off of me, but she's right back on me the second she gets on her feet. But, the worst of it is when I go to bed. She imediately jumps on top of me and starts kissing me all over, and no matter how many times I knock her off the bed, she's right back on top of me. It got so bad last night that I had to lock her in the bathroom, and then I couldn't sleep with her crying all night.
About then, I happened to look around the restaurant because it had become so quiet. People were sittng there with food on their forks, poised in mid-air, totally entranced, listening me to complaining about my love life. So, I said to my friend Bill, "Have you ever had a cat like that?" and the room spun back into motion. Fork fulls of food went into mouths, and conversations resumed. Maybe if I'd given the part about a cold nose, like Banjer did, I wouldn't have brought the restaurant to a halt. :-) Laugh it off, Kendall... Jerry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Liz the Squeak Date: 09 Sep 02 - 02:53 AM That's why they make chocolate in 1 kg bars, saves you going to the shop 8 times in one afternoon..... As for feeling unnecessary - I just find a cat and put a tin of food in front of it. The cat will look up at me as if to say 'yeah, and?' I will go away for 5 minutes. Come back, the cat will still be there, recognising the food tin, but being totally unable to get to it, because unlike me, it has no opposable thumb and can't reach the tin opener anyway. I open the tin, give the cat the food. Someone needs me. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: InOBU Date: 09 Sep 02 - 04:13 AM Oh man Kendall, take a wee glance at my post, A new definition of folk music & 9/11... must be something going around... now where the hell am I going to find a lobster at 4 AM in New York? Cheers, Larry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: smallpiper Date: 09 Sep 02 - 04:34 AM Larry, I thought you could get anything at anytime in New York! Kendall, its the same the whole world over (and statements like that don't help at all) but the old sage that "this too will pass" rings true every time. The last six months have been shit for me too and I'm biding my time because it WILL pass.(eventually)! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Skipjack K8 Date: 09 Sep 02 - 08:10 AM Kendall, I opened this thread in the hope that it referred to the quaint English reference to being sexually aroused in a situation where one cannot do anything about it! Skipjack |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 09 Sep 02 - 08:17 AM A sure fire way to realize that none of us are unnecessary is to look around us and see the people who need their spirits lifted. Yesterday, my wife and I went to visit a woman we know who woke up a few months ago, totally blind... with no warning. She didn't even wear glasses. Her husband died last year, and she has no children. Now, she has to pay someone to come in to be with her every day as she is in her upper 80's or low 90's and can't take dare of herself. When she runs out of money, she'll have to sell her house and go into public-assisted health care. You can imagine how depressed she is.
When her husband was alive, he was houesbound in his later years, and we brought him tapes of gospel music. It could just as easily have been of folk music or jazz, or popular music from the 40's. It was a simple thing to do, but they always thanked us for those tapes. When we visited the woman yesterday, she was so grateful that we remembered her and came to see her. She said the same thing that so many others say, "You made my day." I told her that the next time we get down to visit (she lives an hou'rs drive away) I'd bring her some new tapes of gospel music, and she really lit up.
All of us know many people around us... family, friends, neighbors, even strangers who feel forgotten and deserted. A simple phone call, or stopping by for fifteen or twenty minutes can lift someone's spirits for days.
There are countless people who need each of us. There's the guy who comes to an outside hamburger stand in our town who is recently widowed. He goes to this place just about every day, just for some human contact. He has a little dog that he brings with him, and when he gets a hamburger, he makes it last as long as he can, and he gets a styrofoam cup of water for his dog. I make a point of going over and saying hello, and sitting down and talking with im and his dog. I may only talk to him for five minutes, and I don't even know his name, but I know he really needs to have that contact.
And you, Kendall... it's obvious from the previous thread about your throat, that you are very necessary and appreciated. Every one of us has our own gifts that can help to lift others. Sometimes the gift is just caring about someone else and taking a couple of minutes to call them, or go over and pet their dog. That's what we're all doing in this thread...
And, here's a cyber-pet and a scratch behind the ears for your dog, too ..... :-) Jerry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: kendall Date: 09 Sep 02 - 10:02 AM The lobster didn't quite do it, so, I topped it off with a dish of chocolate ice cream and a handful of aspirin. Feel better today. My dog somehow got a puncture wound inside his upper lip, and he looks like a 90 pound chipmunk. When I get depressed, two things desert me, my sense of humor and my desire to make music. Not much to draw on. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: GUEST,Pete Date: 09 Sep 02 - 10:06 AM So you've had a bad day? How do you think the lobster feels? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Alice Date: 09 Sep 02 - 10:28 AM Jerry, that cat story made me laugh out loud, hooooo that was great. Kendall, it must have made you smile just a teeny bit. Maybe it's time to go for a long walk with a friend? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Midchuck Date: 09 Sep 02 - 10:32 AM It comes from playing the Taylor, Kendall. Taylor's primary market is Sensitive Young Singer-Songwriters, so they're preloaded at the factory with excess angst. If you play one a lot, it rubs off and soaks into you. Peter. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Amos Date: 09 Sep 02 - 10:56 AM And another thing, young man. I am sorry, but I will not have you making up these derogatory thoughts about my friend Kendall. Just pack your negative mechanisms up and put them where the sun don't shine. Fact of the matter is, Kendall is highly esteemed and valued for his wit around here, his insightful humor, his wonderful voice and his fine repertory, not to mention his quick comebacks ("I don't recall marryin' you!"). So just knock off the derogatory mental constructs, or we'll have to come up there and take steps you will not enjoy! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: katlaughing Date: 09 Sep 02 - 11:06 AM Kendall, I hope it keeps getting better for you, today and for your dog. I don't have much humour or music in me when I get down, either. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Pennny Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:10 PM When things are getting me so far down that I can't concentrate I get a loaf ofexcellent chewy bread and have a big stick of softened butter nearby and I lie on the sofa and absentmindedly watch the tube and click to things that I would rarely watch.( not a regular television watcher) It also helps me to soak up some sunlight if there is any. Also like to buy some magazines that I would rarely get.if you have a good library that is a place to get lost in thought. If all of that fails it helps me to take a drive. And call a friend. Tomorrow will be another day and you will have a different feeling about it. If you stay way down it would be a good idea to get a checkup as there are pills out there to lighten the load. some people are revived with prayer . We are all different. good luck. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: kendall Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:14 PM Thanks for the humor you folks, it really does help. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: jimmyt Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:14 PM Kendall, I have never net you, even on the old threads, but I was curious to read the responses, and it seems that:(1) you have a lot of good friends, which many people would die for, and (2) I would be surprised if you don't feel somewhat better after the numerous humerous (quite a difficult rhyme!)responses. I care about you, which I am sure you would be surprised to find out as I am a card carrying Republican!!! There I said it! I am outed!!!I am not at all sure that liberals have the market cornered on human compassion. Can you think of any worse things that could have befallen your daughter than her political persuasion? Just curious! Food for thought, though, Huh? jimmyt (maybe the most branded person on the cat noe that I am outed) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Pennny Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:19 PM Do you have pets , kendall ? Dogs are mans best friends and they do not talk back ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Stilly River Sage Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:47 PM Kendall, I think you need to give yourself some comfort of the most visceral sort. Make a loaf of homemade bread, but don't make it in the bread machine. Knead it yourself, and work out some of what is bothering you with the physical act of kneading. Here's my favorite bread recipe:
3 cups white flour (I use unbleached)
Mix the yeast thoroughly into the flour mixture then add the sugar, olive oil and water. Knead the dough thoroughly, set it to rise double (covered with a dish towel) for a couple of hours in a warm place, then punch it down, knead it again, shape it and put it in a pan to rise again before baking about 45 minutes in a 375 degree oven. Depending on your pan, you might want to grease the pan. If you want to make it even more aromatic, sprinkle in about a teaspoon of garlic powder, and a tablespoon of oregano into the flour before adding the liquids.
The smell of baking bread is the most powerful mood booster on the planet, bar none. If you make yourself a little veggie beef soup to go with it you have comfort food of the highest order. We all have days like this. It's our sophisticated brains making adjustments to the world around us. Take a brisk walk while the bread is baking and raise your natural endorphin level. When you walk into the house (on time to take out the bread!) you'll have come a long way back from the blues you've been feeling. SRS
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Amos Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:53 PM Yeah, but watch how you eat it -- better give it to someone who can afford the extra inches. That dang bread machine stuck me with ten unwanted pounds! And there's nothing in the user's manual about how to undo it!! Good tech support is so hard to find these days.... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:59 PM If Kendall doesn't have a dog, who has the fat lip? :-)
Don't feel "outed" Jim. I know some wonderful people I am honored to be friends with who are not only Republican (you among them) but make Rush Limbaugh look like Walter Mondale. I know for a fact that there are other Catters who are Republican. Truth be told, I never listen to NPR and have never bought anything from Land's End or L.L. Bean. Everyone has a cross to bear... :-) Jerry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Amos Date: 09 Sep 02 - 01:08 PM RUsh Limbaugh looking like Walter Mondale is an idea I just can't seem to assimilate, for laughing too hard, Jerry! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: jimmyt Date: 09 Sep 02 - 01:11 PM AMEN BROTHER JERRY! by the way, I have never been tempted to by a BMW or tie a cotton sweater around my neck! Point is, that we all have these times where we get down, and I don't know of anything that smaps me out of it better than reflecting on what we have to be thankful for! (If i keep this up, the republicans may ask for my card back!) Keep the old chin up, Kendall! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: jimmyt Date: 09 Sep 02 - 01:13 PM Truth is, I think Rush Limbaugh and Walter Mondale would have made excellent boat anchors |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Amos Date: 09 Sep 02 - 01:19 PM Well, I think Clinton was better and holding the bottom, frankly.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Jerry Rasmussen Date: 09 Sep 02 - 02:18 PM Gee, I don't know, Jimmy. I thought all Republicans wore green corduroys and wore penny loafers (with penny's in them) and no socks. :-) I'm an independent, meself, which means that I can crack jokes about everyone... My Grandfather was a Republican and my Dad a Democrat. I try to split the difference. Jerry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: jimmyt Date: 09 Sep 02 - 02:51 PM Jerry, I'll have to make this short, cause I need to run home, put on some socks and change thesedarn penny oafers before I get found out! Now that I reflect,I guess I am much more of an independent also. I generally lean towards Republican fiscal policy, but they are soe darn heartless when it comes to lots of social programs that I fail to fit in anywhere! INDEPENDENTS of the world, UNITE! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Morticia Date: 09 Sep 02 - 04:01 PM Think of something really silly or useless or mad, that I can bring you out from the UK when I come ( in only a little over a month!), that should make you smile :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: jimmyt Date: 09 Sep 02 - 04:09 PM I really prefer the suggestion from Big Mick. The low D whistle is an absolutely fabulous instrument that everyone should own, even if it is a cheap one. A very therapeutic suggestion. I just wish I had a hill nearby like he has. Guinness is also a great suggestion! I hate to admit it, but when I am really feeling crummy and a bit overwhelmed with life, I put on ENYA! This will probably get some comments on my sexuality! But I promise I am straight, I just like Enya. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Amos Date: 09 Sep 02 - 04:47 PM We'll forgive you, Jimmy!! I have had sexuality issues while listening to her myself!! LOL!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: An Croenen Date: 09 Sep 02 - 05:24 PM Morticia: how about marmite? I was reading this thread and four thoughts crossed my mind (yess! a productive day!): 1- you're lucky to have lobster 2- you're lucky to have so many friends who care deeply about you 3- you've done all of us a favour by making us feel useful by asking us to cheer you up 4- we should all ask you now to cheer us up, because that way you'll feel instantly necessary. So here it goes: ((help!)) ;) An |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: Amos Date: 09 Sep 02 - 05:27 PM Geez, Kendall, I'd ask ya to cheer me up, but I'm afraid you would find it too frustrating to think about! :>) Ya gotta pick yer battles, ya know :>) A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Feeling unnecessary From: kendall Date: 09 Sep 02 - 06:18 PM The thing that upset me was not that my daughter is a republican, but, that she is as pig headed as I am! She credits the republicans with saving social security! She was an excellent student, but, she had no interest in history...obviously. Jimmyt I don't mind telling you that I have very good friends who are republicans, and, they know enough not to lock political horns with me! |