Wintertime... and the whining is easy (songs)

Subject: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Cluin
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 04:35 PM

Yep. Got a few inches of heavy wet snow yesterday and, after I just finished shovelling the driveway clear, while I was loading my axe and gear into the van for a gig down the line, the snowplow came by and threw a foot and a half of road scrapings into the end of the driveway. No time to stop and clear it out so I had to drive over it and of course, by the time I got home after 2 AM, it had tightened up nicely into a frozen continental divide. Had to deal with the damn thing today with axe and coal shovel.

So, screw the Winter Wonderland crap! Got any good "I Hate Winter" songs? (I'm working on one now, called The Barbecue Song, but it's more of a "Thank God summer is back" one)

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Mr Happy
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 04:55 PM

throw some scottish whine down yer neck!

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Don Firth
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 05:12 PM

One of the Pacific Northwest's finest balladeers, the late John Dwyer, did a lusty, gusty job on Ezra Pound's little parody:—

Winter is icumen in,
Lhude sing Goddamn,
Raineth drop and staineth slop
And how the wind doth ram!
Sing: Goddamn.
Skiddeth bus and sloppeth us,
An ague hath my ham.
Freezeth river, turneth liver
Damn you, sing: Goddamn.
Goddamn, Goddamn, 'tis why I am,
Goddamm.
So 'gainst the winter's balm
Sing Goddamn, damn, sing Goddamn
Sing Goddamn, sing Goddamn,
Damn!!.

A bit less angry, but descriptive nevertheless is:—

When all aloud the wind doth blow,
And coughing drowns the parson's saw,
And birds sit brooding in the snow,
And Marian's nose looks red and raw. . . .
—Love's Labor's Lost, William Shakespeare

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Cluin
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 06:38 PM

All respects to the Great Bard, but I like the angry one better. ;)

Thanks, Don.

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 06:56 PM

Who can better the great Flanders and Swann-

'Janunary brings the snow, makes your feet and fingers glow.
Februarys' ice and sleet, freeze the toes right off your feet."

LTS

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 07:29 PM

Winter? What's winter?

:-)

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From:
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 08:00 PM

Here's one for you:

Winter Shanty by Jim Stewart

Plus the last verse ties in wiht what happened.

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Cluin
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 08:42 PM

Ta, George. That one's perfect!

(cutting and pasting and adding to repertoire)

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: mg
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 08:43 PM

can't help[ you either. It was a lovely late springlike day here at the ocean..too warm for a sweater. I almost put on my swim suit and went to the water.....this place would be paradise except for the cougars and the meth labs...mg

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From:
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 09:48 PM

You're welcome, Cluin! It is!

Except......

 

I LOVE the snow! Oh well!

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Cluin
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 09:50 PM

Clint,

Winter is what you and S. chose to avoid, I guess, when you moved down to Wind-sore, ye old stage rat.

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Amos
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 10:52 PM

I agree with you about how baleful and awful winter is. Around here the bad weather closed in early this week and dumped four inches of rain. Then, when the rain cleared away there were bright skies but it was a bone-chilling 68 degrees instead of the expected balmy 75 (F). So we are all dressed up in pullovers and our tans are going to hell.

If it gets any colder, I am throwing in the towel and moving to Southern California.

Amos in San Diego

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 30 Nov 02 - 11:19 PM

Saw...the thread title....and.....I believed...it MUST BE ....be the LaughKat's posting.

Sorry, to intervean...in a personal thread...but I thought, perhaps, this was my par-amor's post....in a post tramatic way.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: kendall
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 06:34 AM

68 degrees is chilly? Ever been to Maine? Years ago, my Uncle Curt said there was so much snow it was a common sight to see a man out poking around with a pole trying to find his chimmney.

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 07:25 AM

Cluin, my sympathies. Where do you live? Here in New Hampshire, USA, we've had snow since early November. Yep, it do remind us of the old days...

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: allanwill
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 08:50 AM

Canberra, in Australia, just had, literally, its first rain in over 2 months last Friday. The temperature has consistently been mid 80's to mid 90's.

It's easy to keep warm when the weather's cold; not so easy to cool off during summer.

Allan

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Micca
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 10:05 AM

To just add to the general ...whateverness a fave expression of a friend was " So cold they were snapping dogs off lamposts"

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 10:23 AM

From Art Thieme's intro to the wonderful Chicagotown Blues: It got so cold in Chicago last winter, an exhibitionist came up and described himself to me!"


Still makes me laugh out loud!


A

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: kendall
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 12:43 PM

Utah Phillips said it was so cold, he saw a chicken walking down the street with a capon.

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 01:14 PM

Cluin is from the REAL frozen north... a little town in Norther Ontario... you know... the one meantioned in Stan Rogers "White Squall"

And believe me Cluin... Winter had very little to do with my getting out!

LOL

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Cluin
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 01:14 PM

Northern Ontario.... where all the brass monkeys are in mourning.

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Cluin
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 01:42 PM

Yeah, that black cloud did dissipate after you left, I seem to recall. ;)

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Don Firth
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 03:08 PM

My feet usually freeze about Labor Day and they don't thaw out until sometime after Memorial Day.

Here's a Classic.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 05:28 PM

Met a young teacher, so cute and so fair,
so we rushed off to Alaska for a quick love affair,
But soon I returned with a cold and a cough...
We were both frozen stiff and I just broke it off...

LTS

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: harpgirl
Date: 01 Dec 02 - 10:17 PM

...I've just wandered back north from the deep south of Flori-Duh. I suntanned a bit on Saturday and hot-tubbed at me mum's. Upon returning to north Flori-Duh, I immediately went to the woodpile to build a fire. It's about 33 degrees....burrrrrr! The fish pond may have ice on it in the morning....hg, going back out to the woodpile...

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Declan
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 05:39 AM

I'm not saying its cold here in Dublin, but I just met a brass monkey, and he was looking for a welder.

Its actually about 10 Degrees C (50 F) here today but very wet & windy.

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Micca
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 06:41 AM

Wintertime and the whining is easy
Snows a falling and the heating is high
Your dad has flu
And your mommas a sneezing
So hush little baby eat your mince pie

One of these mornings
I'm gonna rise up freezing
Gonna book an airplane
And take to the skies
Pack just some light clothes
And that sun tan lotion
Head off for Waikiki
in far off Hi.

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 07:32 AM

Having moved south to Kentucky from Northern Indiana, I miss seeing the annual southern migration of the Wooly Mammoths as they seek warmer climes in which to winter over.

God! It's been colder here than it was when I was in Fairbanks! Really!
(Of course, that was in July and it was 91 degrees F....)

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: jeffp
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 10:47 AM

Winter Wonderland - A Parody
Jeff Porterfield

Sleighbells ring, I don't care
I've got ice in my hair
It's getting too cold
Or else I'm too old
For walking in a winter wonderland.

Gets this way each December
You'd think I'd remember
But still I forget
How cold it can get
Walking in a winter wonderland.

In the meadow we can build a snowman
But that would cause my fingers to fall off
You can go ahead and build your snowman
Next year I'm going south and playing golf!

Later on we'll perspire
'Cause we're too close to the fire
But I really don't care
I was freezing out there
Walking in a winter wonderland.

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From:
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 11:10 AM

Jeff and Micca, thanks! Look like they might do the trick!

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Cluin
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 11:15 AM

Yeah! Thass what I'm talkin' `bout!

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 05:13 PM

"The wind was blough,
And cold and rough.
She kept her hands
Inside her mough."

(does not translate easily into Japanese)

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Micca
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 08:52 PM

Bill, you remind me, I have had this for a time in the same vein

I see the snow
As I knead the dough
And hear the kids come in
Their coats they slough
They've had enough
Of games outside freezing

Down by the lough
The old town clock
Has sent them hungry back
They drink and scoff
With many a cough
At cake and Barm brack

They've had enough
of play so rough
on winter afternoon
upon cold stones
but tea and scones
revives them all too soon

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Duane D.
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 01:12 AM

Kendall, When I saw you had posted here, I thought for sure you'd make reference to the $5 charge for whining.

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Duane D.
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 01:26 AM

Some years back, Charlie Maguire wrote a song about trying to start a car in the middle of winter in Minnesota. I heard it on Prairie Home Companion, but haven't heard it anywhere since. I couldn't find it in the DT or any reference to it on Charlie's homepage. He called it a land shanty and it had a repeating line, "Oh, cold and misery." I may have it somewhere on a tape copy of PHC. If I find it, I'll pass the lyrics along.

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: CapriUni
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 01:27 AM

I'm dreaming of a green Christmas --
One that is warm and sweet and nice:
Where the sun is shining
While bells are chiming,
And no one's slipping on the ice!

(came up with these lines after hearing the original one too many times in southern Virginia [!])

What snow has to do with *any* of the season's holidays, I have no idea!

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 01:54 AM

It's minus 3 degrees outside, in Northern MN.
Like I always say;
Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice
Pull down your pants, and slide on the ice.
Duane D. I was really surprised at you mentioning Charlie Maguire, he plays alot around here by me. He is known as the Itasca Troubadour in this part of the country, because he has a lot of songs about Itasca State Park and the Mississippi.
Peace, Rustic

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Mudlark
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 02:05 AM

I sit by the fireside, toasting
But soon it's me that's roasting
Time to open up windows and doors
Outside temp has climbed to seventy-four

These chilly mornings really are a trial....

Subject: Lyr Add: "Oh Cold and Misery" by Charlie Maguire
From: SharonA
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 10:49 AM

Duane D: I found your Charlie Maguire song on this page: http://www.charliemaguire.com/ILikeIt.html


OH COLD AND MISERY

Am
It was early morn' like so many before

C                  Am
Oh cold and misery

Am               C                      G             Am
I put on my coat and walked out of the door

G                               Am
Standing alone on the frozen ground


Additional verses:
I went to the place where my beast lay asleep
On four tires of rubber, a long cord in its teeth

I opened the door and I jammed in the key
Not a sound did I hear, nor exhaust did I see

So I went to my neighbor and to her I spoke
She soon came a 'riding on white clouds of smoke

On its terminals bare, long cables I placed
And I gave it a charge with revenge on my face

It coughed, and it rumbled, then let out a roar
Lashing it with gas pedal harsh commands I swore

The smell of the ether did hang in the air
And empty "Heet" cans lay about everywhere

And when we were moving its anger was gone
From its radio voice came music and song

But tonight when the dark comes to its moving parts
It will again be the beast with the ice in its heart

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From:
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 11:13 AM

The other song at the site is also great!

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Schantieman
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 11:31 AM

Once I went winter mountaineering. It was so cold that our breath froze when we breathed out. We had to fry our wors to hear what we were talking about.

:-)

Steve

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 07:38 PM

Be warned that Charlie Maguire is quite proprietary about ANYONE using (or listing) his copyrighted songs without his express permission, especially such wonderful songs as "Oh, Cold and Misery."

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy (songs)
From: Barry Finn
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 08:56 PM

Under near perfect conditions which happens far less than a blue moon, we get snow upon snow & it won't get above freezing so it can't melt off the roofs then bamm we get a frezzing rain that won't wash it off either now a sheen of ice forms over the roof so starts the beginning of an ice dam. Add this to your attic being warmer than the outside temps & the ice/snow starts melting from the bottom (roof surface) but gets traped by the frozen snow & ice add to this that the roof's overhang is a cold spot not warmed by the attic & you start to get a full fledged ice dam. Now that melted snow & ice that's blocked & traped under the freeze starts to back up the roof & finally the water finds an exit, usually down the interior wall, like a waterfall untill no more water. Then the cycles starts up again & in no time at all in the middle of the night you realize that your wall, ceilings, floors & anything else that swims is gonna get destroyed so you call the those that will crawl out on the ice dam (it's like a shelf of ice anywhere from a few inches thick to well over a foot & the width of the surface could be anywhere from a few inches to 2-3 feet wide, wide enough to walk on. Anyway here a whine from those that get paid to break up these ice dams. Kendall, I'll send you the $5 charge for whinning,,,,, next spring. Barry


Ice Damming by Barry Finn

(Tune: Bob Dylan's "The Times They Are A Changing")


It's winter in New England and throughout the land

The trucks start rolling with all available hands

It's a party, a tradition, a picnic, a plan

Over mountains of snow they attack the Ice Dams


Chorus:

And you hear everywhere the cry Ice Dam

It's a flue, it's a fever that spreads through the land

Man your pickups, your axes, every woman and man

And answer the call and the cry Ice Dam


Blaze a path round a house in snow that's waist deep

Take a snow rake or a shovel and clear up 3 feet

Crawl the edge of the dam on a roof that's to steep

And start pounding on ice and give nobody peace


On a 40 foot ladder that slides on the ice

Out comes the homeowner who tries to be nice

I like what you're doing but I don't like you're price

For a few dollars less would you still risk your life


Some shingles may break and the ice will sure fall

If we land on your shrubs sure you'll give us a call

Your checks will bounce as we bounce off your walls

It must be illegal to have such a ball


Like ants, like termites we're all over your roof

We cry Ice Dam and drink 100 proof

A windfall in winter is scarce it's the truth

When ice damming is done we're a winter recluse


Copyright, Barry Finn 1996 (winter)

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy (songs)
From: Peg
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 10:13 PM

good one Barry!
It is cold as heck here, much too early for this...they say it will be a rough winter. We need the snow, I guess.
I was in the Berkshires last weekend, saw loads of stars and did some winter hiking; lovely!
I like the traditional English ballad, "Sheep 'Neath the Snow"; tells the true story of a man who lost several thousand sheep to a snowstorm in Scotland in the 19th century...
Magpie Lane recorded it.

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy (songs)
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Dec 02 - 04:22 AM

Peg, did the Berkshires seem dreamlike on account of that frosting?

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy (songs)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 Dec 02 - 08:09 AM

Damn, that's a good one, Barry!

Maybe Brett and I will see you this Friday at the Press Room if the weather is fair.

Charley Noble, whose lap is being warmed by a calico cat who doesn't want to prowl outside this morning

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy (songs)
From: CapriUni
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 04:12 PM

Good thing I did a search before I started a new thread; I'd forgotten that I'd already posted my own "Green Christmas" song, a couple of years ago.

This morning (after a dusting of snow fell last night -- in southern Virginia, no less!) the song came back to me this way:

I'm dreaming of a Green Christmas --
One that is warm, and sweet, and nice.
Where the bells are ringing,
While folks are singing,
And no one's slipping on the ice.

I'm dreaming of a Green Christmas,
With every Christmas card I send:
May your life be filled with loving friends
And may this Holiday hype not send you 'round the bend!

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy (songs)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 07:17 PM

Isn't "White Squall" about Lake Superior-- how is that northern Ontario?

If the cold is a problem I'd recommend Cremation, Sam.

~Susan

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy (songs)
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 09:23 PM

LOG CABIN BLUES
Sitting in the old log cabin, shining my shoes
Have no place to wear them got the log cabin blues
Don't know how I'll get through this winter
      Not a thing in the world to do
Stranded in Mio Michigan with the log cabin blues.

Winter's coming early this year, grounds all white snow
Sitting in the old log cabin and forty eight below,
And every time I go outside, my hands and feet turn blue
So I stay by the fire side with the log cabin blues.

Chewing on some stringy old venison or some greasy old bear
Not much change in the menu, except once in a while a hare,
And things get rather smelly in these sewed up underware
Wish that I were someplace else, but I just can't think of where.

In about six months from now, we can go outside,
Then the sand fleas and the black flies will eat our dog gone hide,
Then we'll long for some more winter when these creatures will be
    gone.
So we can set by the fireside and sing this lonesome song.

Sitting in the old log cabin, shining my shoes
Have no place to wear them got the log cabin blues
Don't know how I'll get through this winter
    Not a thing in the world to do
Stranded in Mio Michigan with the log cabin blues.

Cap't Bob

Subject: RE: Wintertime... and the whining is easy (songs)
From: SINSULL
Date: 20 Dec 04 - 09:29 PM

Ice dams - the bane of my existence. Not funny, Barry. Hopefully I can get through the winter without putting the roof rake through a window or embarrassing myself with pantihose filled with salt on the roof. (yes, gnu. I have not forgotten).