Turn again Livinstone

Subject: Turn again Livinstone
From: GUEST,Ken Whittington
Date: 21 Dec 02 - 02:54 PM

Well puss, we must leave behind this idyllic and bucolic scene, and head for old London town, for tis there I mean to seek my fortune. Times in the village of Hampstead have changed especially now Jack Straw's Castle has been closed for renovations by Carol Smellie. My Grandad has nowhere to go after a hard day hoeing turmits, and what's more he says he misses the spittoon. Well he always did!!
My name is Dick, you know Dick by name, Dick by nature, and my cat is called Beaver, good name for a pussy that.
Well here I go with my bundle over my shoulder, gosh what adventures shall we have on our way, I wonder?

Subject: RE: Turn again Livinstone
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Dec 02 - 09:52 PM

Oi, you in the coach... that'll be £5 for crossing my 'Congestion Charge' zone, which mysteriously moves every time a map of it is printed.....

Ah... 6 miles to London and still no sign of a break in the traffic.

LTS

Subject: RE: Turn again Livinstone
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Dec 02 - 05:54 AM

But hark what is that strange circular building ahead? I wonder if that is the famous "Round House" where they turn the stage coaches round. [Fear not dear Spaw tis not what you feared, a house where everyone has to buy a round.¦¬] ] Did not there used to be an alehouse of great reknown, called The Enterprise nearby. With entertainments run by the world famous Terry Gould? Why my Grandfather Giok swears he once saw Maddy Prior do a clog dance there.
But he's getting old and his memory is faulty, poor old sod.
"Audience goes Aaahhhhhhhh, poor old Giok"

Subject: RE: Turn again Livinstone
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Dec 02 - 06:55 AM

Methinks we should go and seek fame and fortune in foreign climes, Beaver. We could go and become rat catchers on one of the mighty ships... Oh no. Hang on. All the rats have deserted becuse the ships are all running into BMW's in the English Channel (Bum, bum...)

I'll tell you what - how about making our fortune holding up travelers in the big city? Yes I can see that working. We just need to change the odd sequence of lights, cut off half the roads with empty lanes for the mythiical omnibus creatures to travel in and... Oh no! It's them ugly sisters! Blah and Pressgang. What are they going to do next? If they take more money off the poor people how can I make my fortune?

Hang on a minute! Where have they gone?

They're behind you
Oh no they're not
Oh yes they are
Oh no they're not. This government has never been behind anyone!

Exit stage left with much slapping of thighs...

Subject: RE: Turn again Livinstone
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Dec 02 - 09:58 AM

Or perhaps in the current political fasion he should exit stage left and enter stage right...;-)

Subject: RE: Turn again Livinstone
From: Dead Horse
Date: 22 Dec 02 - 03:56 PM

Not with the current TwoInAThread Rule, as the Uglies have the stage.

Subject: RE: Turn again Livinstone
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 22 Dec 02 - 04:08 PM

Something's wrong here, but I don't know what. Maybe a spot of magic dust (ground magic mushrooms) will do the trick.

*#*#*#*#

Ah, that's the trick, I think I've got it.
I wonder how I didn't spot it.
This panto thread has run some time,
But up 'til now there's been no rhyme.
I've sorted that out double-quick.
My magic dust has done the trick!

Subject: RE: Turn again Livinstone
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Dec 02 - 06:41 PM

Your magic dust may have done the trick
But it will land you in the nick
If you try it here you'll ruin the plot
They'll think our hero's gone to ....pot (groan groan)

Mind you, rhyme can end you up in trouble
Just look at the way these things can bubble
up to the top and have you in fits
as you say the sisters are a pair of polititians

No, we need Livingstone back in prose
So he's not limited to Christmas shows
Come back Ken and give us our rights
We'd rather not see you dressed in tights...

Subject: RE: Turn again Livinstone
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 23 Dec 02 - 02:31 PM

Oh dear said Ken, I think you'll find
That London's streets will soon be signed.
Congestion charges will be levied,
As sure as Micca likes an bevvy.
A fiver isn't much to day,
Order two pints and more you'll pay.
It's news to me I hear you cry
And newts to you as well, say I.
Goodbye.

Subject: RE: Turn again Livinstone
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 04:19 PM

Is this a deceased panto??