Eggs and Sessions

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Letty
Date: 31 Jan 03 - 03:46 PM

I can't believe I missed this thread so far...
I love my egg! It's red and glossy, smooth and egg-shaped, and it rattles (but never loud and hopefully in time).
I'm trying to hatch it in my fiddle bag, no luck so far.


Letty (and egg)

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: HuwG
Date: 31 Jan 03 - 01:39 PM

I still prefer the thought of the car crusher. It allows you to widen the target area. (I am thinking of the scene in "Goldfinger", where James Bond surveys a three-foot cube of metal which had recently been a car containing a recalcitrant crime syndicate boss, and remarks, "Well, you did say he had a pressing engagement").

One bit of aversion therapy I might try, if I can find an accomplice, is to borrow someone's bongo drums, and then re-enact Stan Freberg's hilarious takeoff of "The Banana-boat Song".

One session I regularly attend sported a tuba player at one time. This is not an instrument to be used lightly to accompany anything; the usual noise it produces can be mistaken from far off as, "I am proceeding on the starboard tack in reduced visibility". On the other hand, I haven't heard anything quite so enlivening as the tubaist rattling through "Mickey Mouse's Son and Daughter" (Viv Stanshull).

We have also suffered from an asthmatic saxophonist (yes, the beat dragged a little).

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 30 Jan 03 - 11:18 PM

Hell of a Grand Good Posting....

Stanley Tools makes a darned good hammer...you can find their link here: http://www.stanleytools.com/default.asp?TYPE=CATEGORY&CATEGORY=BALL+PEIN+HAMMERS

Sincerely
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Alice
Date: 30 Jan 03 - 08:14 PM

I've experienced sessions with similar disturbing intrusions.... an idea I just had is this: place a basket in the center (or at the door) with a big sign on it. "Place All Shaky Eggs, Triangles, Tambourines, Kazoos, Maracas and Bongos in Basket Until Session Has Ended"
The one "new" percussionist who has started showing up once in a while has his own contraption, an old vegatable grater with tambourine jingles attached to the side that he strikes with silverware. At least he has a sense of rhythm, but he plays it on every tune!

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: alison
Date: 30 Jan 03 - 08:02 PM

I have several eggs, a lemon apple and shakey banana...... and a good sense of rhythm... well I must do ... I'm also a bodhran player..... lol....


admittedly the banana does get you funny looks and comments of "where do you put the batteries".... but the length causes enough delay to be really handy for some blues numbers!!..... *grin*

but I agree a bad rhythm player can be REALLY offputting when you're trying to sing of play.......

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Susanl
Date: 30 Jan 03 - 04:03 PM

I have run into trouble with egg players, spoons players, conga players and harmonica players while playing gigs. The thing I find most frustrating is that these are all grand instruments when played well. But they're also magnets for people who don't want to practise or LISTEN and like to be heard in a room. I believe strongly in encouraging people to play. But I'm tired of dealing with people who don't actually WORK at it and then want to play along without listening. Music is a wonderful thing and everyone should be encouraged to participate. But participation means listening, learning and working on developing what you do. Not just showing up with whatever you've bought and expecting to play along.

I've also played with harmonica players, conga players, egg players and spoons players who play when they should and play well. Imagine how they feel about people who play those instruments badly.

I guess I can't comment about open sessions as I haven't had much experience with them. I suppose an open session should be just that. But wouldn't it be nice if people TRIED to be good at their instrument so they could contribute to the session rather than cluttering up someone else's music?

And to be fair, I'm a guitar player and the worst musicians I know for not listening and just making noise happen to be guitar players.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 29 Jan 03 - 06:29 PM

The grand thing about an open session is that anyone--and everyone--can play along.
The horrible thing about an open session is that anyone--and everyone--can play along.

You culd always point to the egg-shaker and shout, "Take it!" and see what happens.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: mike the knife
Date: 29 Jan 03 - 01:57 PM

Love the shaky "nanner"- a friend of mine had one & would give it to unsuspecting women to play along. Insert joke here.
The slinkys... My God... that's excellent... unless of course you're actually trying to play something.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: An Pluiméir Ceolmhar
Date: 29 Jan 03 - 01:09 PM

Don't break mah egg,
Mah shaky shaky egg.


Our session has acquired a fellow-traveller who unpacks a whole canteen of cutlery (or at least the spoon department) on the pub table. Fortunately he's a pleasant-mannered individual and exercises some restraint, but it's still a pretty appalling vista when you think what his weapons of mass disruption could do if they fell into the wrong hands.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: HuwG
Date: 29 Jan 03 - 12:31 PM

Have just suffered from the attentions of somebody on a Bongo drum, while performing Duw, it's hard. Now for anyone recently landed from Mars who has not heard it, it is a slow lament for the death of the coal industry. How on earth anyone could think that a bongo accompaniment might spice it up a bit, is beyond me.

I managed to silence the percussionist with a ferocious glare after half a verse; but I was accosted afterwards by someone who asked me why I put such venom into the lyrics, "... roll to rest amidst the dust ...".

Forgive me, during the rest of that song I was thinking about the scrapyard about half a mile from the session, and its handy car crusher ...

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 09:20 AM

memo to self: leave the washboard at home in future.

RtS
(silence is golden)

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: banjomad (inactive)
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 09:02 AM

Hand grenade ? overkill, anti personnel mine better.
Guilty Dave

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: GUEST,Rag
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 08:21 AM

We've had all sorts of scratchy, clicky, bangy things arrive at sessions and they can be a real nuisance. Over Christmas we had a family arrive with little Sebastian (name changed to protect the guilty) in tow who had a new bodhran for Christmas. "Will there be musicians playing tonight because Sebastian want to play his drum?!!". When he did, he was loud, out of time and apparently deaf.

The intervention of a kindly folky who could play and who gave the lad a few pointers seemed to bring things to a head - child gets huffy, parents get annoyed, parents and child leave, music continues.

On the matter of eggs, we passed one around the pub until it vanished but that was exceptional when the owner was being deliberately bloody-minded and trying to irritate.

We try to encourage people to play but also to recognise the effort required to learn how to. Percussion seems to be regarded as the easy and cheap way to get into a session but the effect can be awful with insensitive players. We've had a bunch of desert spoons trying to accompany a slow air on a fiddle (I kid you not!) and also someone on bones trying to join in with unaccompanied singing. Eventually you have to resort to something blunt, preferably verbal. Something like "How about you take it in turns with the rest of us, i.e. you play, then you don't!" At least they get the message.

Other alternatives include bringing a bugle - play only when the shakers get going but site next to them...

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: ced2
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 07:03 AM

What a cracking idea! Only problem is I don't think the pub would take too kindly to having to clear up all the mess, there is a remote possibility we may not be invited to return!!!

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: stevetheORC
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 06:18 AM

I humbly suggest that the said eggs be exchanged in a sneaky fashion for a handgrenade minus pin. This I do believe would solve the problem in a satisfactory manner, Please remember to send eggy shaker out of room to practice first!!!!

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 06:05 AM

Our session had to move cos of an excessively amplified (& very good) Irish band in the front bar. We were unable to find another pub, so started having sessions in member's houses BY INVITATION ONLY!! Now we don't have the problem of the person who's head would otherwise have attracted a large piece of wood/steel/concrete ...

full details have been sent to Hrothgar who used to be a Sydneysider & will be welcome anytime he comes back.

Hrothgar - are you running any sessions at the National? Or even, any more workshops? See ya then.

sandra

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: banjomad (inactive)
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 05:16 AM

Shaky eggs have turned me into a criminal, I confess I stole THE shaky egg from the person who plays it in our sunday afternoon session
when he accidently left it behind, Ifully intended to return the following week but I forgot, he/she turned up with another one anyway.
Guilt now prevents me from owning up.
The say cofession is good for the soul, I think I will live the rest of my life wracked with guilt and shame/
Humbly, Dave

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: GUEST,Davetnova
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 04:36 AM

Like whiskey and guiness the complex and convoluted rythyms introduced to folk music from the world music scene by the shaky egg are an aquired taste, requiring a sophisticated musical palate. Education is the key.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Hrothgar
Date: 13 Jan 03 - 03:18 AM

Who was that, Sandra?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Dipsodeb
Date: 12 Jan 03 - 07:31 PM

I think shaky eggs can be perfectly fine,as can all percussion instruments they often add life to a tune. Of course this is only true, if played well.
I often feel that some folkies are too far up their rears, in terms of always sounding so perfect and often forget that everyone starts somewhere and often it's with a percussion instrument. What happened to encouraging people?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: ced2
Date: 12 Jan 03 - 04:31 PM

Large Hammer needed...banjomad will supply directions.. my head is still rattling

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: ced2
Date: 12 Jan 03 - 04:28 PM

Person with big hammer needed! Banjomad will direct!

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Naemanson
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 12:19 PM

What is your solution for the fiddle or guitar that's out of tune but is still playing along? You did say this was a session. That means, to me, that you want people to play along. By playing in a session you are opening yourself to musicians of all instrument qualities and musical abilities. So you should suck it up and move on.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 08:43 AM

I must admit that I prefer shaky egg players to bad but enthusiastic bodhran players - but then Essex Girl usually has several (shaky eggs) with her.

One of the most amusing sights that I've seen was a fellow who played a red coloured one. He held it in his hand with his fingers wrapped round it and just the pointed end sticking out. The action was a forward and back movement in his lap. He had a far-away look on his face and we were all wondering if he'd reach ejaculation !

I suppose one solution would be to spray paint some real eggs and discreetly substitute them for the plastic ones. The player would then try so hard to get some sound out of them that they would probably break them - even if they didn't they'd make wonderful scrambled egg afterwards !

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 06:17 AM

Recently my absolute favourite singer/songwriter was nearly crossed off my list of friends when he picked up a drum & joined a very loud pair of musos (hurdy-gurdy & pipes) in a very confined, echoey space!! I had to leave the room & if Jenny does carry out her plan of booking the pair, I might take a sickie that night. No doubt it will be a great evening cos they are fantastic musos, but ...!!

I hope you're feeling better now, JennyO

sandra

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 04:04 AM

Even a good percussist can be a pain in the A if you want to vary the tempo - the point being that the percussion tends to define the tempo - so while they think they are accompanying, sometimes they end up in the driving seat

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 10:54 AM

Sandra, just spent the last 5 days in close proximity to that person - aaaaaaaarrrrrggggghhhh!!!!!

Seeya

Jenny

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: the lemonade lady
Date: 30 Dec 02 - 10:14 PM

I've got a shakey lemon.

Sal

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: leprechaun
Date: 29 Dec 02 - 03:15 AM

If that egg is more than six months old, the hammer idea might need some reconsideration.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 28 Dec 02 - 06:53 AM

I didn't know that 4x4 could come in any other material - thanks foor the ideas. Seriously but, I don't think any type/weight of 4x4 would be noticed on that offending head.

I know nothing about shaky eggs, except several good groups I know use them on occasion (use them well & properly, that is)

I think the Akubra is the Australian revenge against the rabbit - many rabbit skins go into making the felt used in these hats.

sandra

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: banjomad (inactive)
Date: 27 Dec 02 - 07:42 PM

it was probably something similar to the way bohdrans used to be advertised, ' want to join a session and play Irish music, then get a bohdran and join in ', just like that. No musical knowledge whatsoever
required. They are most likely secretly manufactured by anti folk music people or as we know them cuntry and western people.
Cheers, Dave

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: ced2
Date: 27 Dec 02 - 02:42 PM

4x4 what? Timber, Bright Drawn Mild Steel, Concrete( if this was reinforced?).... nice thought but have you actually tried out this remedy? I have visions of a high rate of success but it could be a touch messy.
On another note (or lack of it in the case of a shaken egg) where did the shaking eggs originate... they weren't an Australian revenge for rabbits were they?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 27 Dec 02 - 06:59 AM

Shaky eggs, or "performers" with no ear/rythmn/voice - in this case it's all the same, a person completely oblivious that their contribution is not wanted nor is it appreciated.

In the case that I refer to (& JennyO knows it), I have contemplated a piece of 4x4 thumped repeatedly on the offending head.

sandra (who sings along with the chorus cos she knows she can't hold a tune on her own)

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Allan Dennehy
Date: 27 Dec 02 - 06:42 AM

Hardboil the bastard! No, not the egg, just the idjit who'se shakin it.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: GUEST,LadyNancy
Date: 25 Dec 02 - 08:17 AM

I was subjected to the "egg'n'player" last evening. Why is it that it makes ME doubt MY rhythm...!!**??!!

Oh those people who want to take part and go out to buy a drum to bang and then proceed to bang it loudly, without rhythm, without sympathy or empathy... I guess looking at it that way, an egg is quite harmless - unless glued to a table per se.

Wait 'til I get my hands on the person or people who provided the original tangerine to this egg-shaker....

I LOVE a well-played percussion instrument - bodhran (whatever colour or size), kettle drum, snare drum, any other drum or even egg, and I admire beyond all a percussion player who can vary volume, tone, pitch etc. but I would gladly be the perpetrator of the hammer, size 12 boot, JCB, super-glue or other silencing method for the players who do not/cannot demonstrate such dexterity in playing and manners.....

LadyNancy

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Mr Red
Date: 25 Dec 02 - 05:48 AM

shaky banana conjours up all sorts of images - I was too polite to make reference to them when my girlfriend was handed one (I can be polite!)

ced2

One crude but effective way is to record the session and demonstrate the effect to the perpetrator. Particularly if you get emphasis on the egg. It is a "holding up a mirror" wheeze.   How you get to the point of telling the person I don't know though. P'raps on the pretext of wanting the tune and replaying in session and point out you can't hear it for the sizzling egg - hopefully the others will comment. Good luck.

PS how are you on bodhrans? NOW, how are you on red ones?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 25 Dec 02 - 04:42 AM

Give him or her a hard-boiled egg to use instead.

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: banjomad (inactive)
Date: 25 Dec 02 - 03:33 AM

I've just got the shakes in general this morning. I think its an instrumentcalled the DTs.
Happy christmas to all, Dave

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: JennieG
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 11:48 PM

I have a shaky peach...AND and shaky lime! And a reasonable sense of rhythm.
Merry Christmas
JennieG

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: JennyO
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 10:46 PM

I have a shaky peach.

But when I play it, it's only done in the BEST POSSIBLE TASTE!

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Dead Horse
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 08:48 PM

Egg timer. Vitronome?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: C-flat
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 08:29 AM

Perhaps if you bought the person in question an egg timer for xmas?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: banjomad (inactive)
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 08:20 AM

knowing the aforementiond egg shaker I realised what a mistake it would be to superglue the egg to the table, he would just pick up the table with the egg and shake harder, the truth is it all started with
a christmas present of a plastic shaky tangerine, this was substituted for a real one several times so he invested in a shaky egg. Everybody loves him really, well those of us who are not sane any more.

Peace and love, Dave

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 05:36 AM

Shankmac that sounds like a classic!

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: mooman
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 05:35 AM

Anybody hitting Letty's egg with a 4lb hammer will have to contend with the Wrath of Moo...

moo

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 05:31 AM

DeadHorse: sod the eggs, I'll just have the Scotch!

Nigel

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Dead Horse
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 05:27 AM

Scottish Borders. Presumably Scotch Eggs supplied?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: shankmac
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 04:55 AM

We have fortnightly sessions in the lounge of a local pub and the landlord thought he would give a helping hand to encourage rythmically challanged people by making up his own eggs and giving them out to everone who does not have an instrument. He used those little plastic photographic film containers filled with dried peas/lentils. 30 eggs sustaining 25 different beats makes it tricky trying to remember the second verse of any song or even why you want to continue living.

Happy sessions

Mac


P.S. Anyone out there coming to the Scottish Borders for NewYear?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: ced2
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 04:33 AM

Thanks for some useful advice folks... I had to say I had contemplated returning the egg via an orifice but I am afraid that it would lead to mass fainting amongst the more squeamish. Primus & cooking pot... I like that. However there must be more still to come. Is it possible to insert superglue into the egg... didn't the CIA once devise a way of inserting something nasty via a needle that could not be felt? I believe their problem was they could not get near their intended victim (Castro), we have solved that problem thanks to the need for the egg player to get beer at regular intervals... and the egg is left unprotected!!! Anyone got a tame skewer?

Subject: RE: Eggs and Sessions
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 24 Dec 02 - 01:03 AM

Maybe I have just been lucky, but the egg shakers, bohdran players and other percussionists that I've met at sessions seem to be blessed with both good timing and tact. If they are playing too loud, it's probably to drown out my scratchy fiddle playing. The biggest problem I have is sitting to the left of a squeeze-box and having the bass notes drowning out the rest of the players but I don't complain about it. I just try to sit somewhere else.

Technical perfection may be admirable but can't always be achieved. How are you to learn if you are not encouraged to try and join in. Enthusiasm should be moulded, not squashed.

The world looks a better place if you don't look down your nose at it.


Doug C