Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge

Subject: Lyr Add: FATE OF THE ROYAL TAR
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Jan 03 - 04:28 PM

Looks like this thread has run its course. Here's a long poem by Wilbert Snow, 1836, based on a historical tragedy. The Royal Tar was a steamer that ran from St. John, New Brunswick, to Portland, Maine. On October 25, 1836, she was chartered to transport a traveling circus
when she caught fire and sank in Penobscot Bay.

FATE OF THE ROYAL TAR

Come to the wharf and you shall see
The world's most wonderful menagerie –
Elephants from Africa, lions, too,
And the greatest marsupial kangaroo
Fresh from Australia; wart-hogs, ounces,
And double-humped camels with fringy flounces;
Don't miss the snakes and the boa-constrictors,
Slaves from the South and Roman lictors
Dressed as they were in Ceasar's day;
And a unifomed band from Paraguay,
With the latest tunes of the U.S.A.
For twenty-five cents you can see it all.

Who could resist such a wonderful call?
Not we who were nourished from year to year
On Noah's Ark, why, the Ark was here!
And some who had scruples when Barnum's tent
Was pitched by the depot (of course, they went
To welcome it in at the flick of dawn)
Had no such qualms at this great hulk drawn
Up to the wharf – there was sanction wise
In Holy Writ for this enterprise;
They even expected, so well they knew
The tale, that the monsters, two by two,
Would strut as they did for Noah's crew.

I see her now as a squalid craft,
Crowded with animals fore and aft,
With smelly animals pacing their cages,
Venting their wrath in various rages –
See her, all too clear; but then my eyes,
Tinctured with youth's prismatic dyes,
Saw the red plush cabin, a gallery grand,
Like a room in the mansions of the Promised Land;
And the chandelier hanging, a ruby chalice,
Would have graced a hall in the Shushan palace;
The snake-charmer standing, golden haired and tall,
Was Eve in the Garden just before the Fall;
And the blindfolded wizard, adding reams on reams,
Was Joseph in Egypt unravelling dreams;
The strong man was Samson, and the lion-tamer shone
Like Daniel in the dungeon of Babylon.

We stood on the wharf when she sailed away,
Out of the harbor kicking up spray,
Leaving a wake of white at her stern
That bubbled toward the dock like butter in a churn;
We heard the animals' dwindling groans,
Saw red-coated Negroes rolling the bones;
And the Stars and Stripes on the Autumn air
Turned the Hebrew legends to a Down East fair,
The day being over I heaved a sigh
To know such glories could be born and die.

The boys of Vinalhaven, where the next stop came,
Saw the marvels we had witnessed, and, O grief too hard to name,
Saw the wonder ship of ocean going up in flame;
The story rose and widened, in a fortnight grew
To Biblical proportions; was there ever such a crew?
The animal trainers set their charges free,
And shoved them off the deck in the ice-cold sea;
The Captain on the poop, ringed round with fire,
Yelled orders in vain, for a thousand times higher
Were the roars and groans of the beasts that rolled
In the fiery furnace of that vessel's hold;
A Negro risked his life for a pony he fed;
A dog-trainer labored till he singed his head;
The keeper of a llama that had just given birth
To a white baby llama on a handful of earth
Took the helpless thing ashore on the last boat freed,
But the mother beast was lost in that wild stampede;
These three were labeled on the very next show
As Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.

And some in that furnace would never feel
The up and down fortunes of another keel;
But those who came through told the weirdest tale
Of that blazing night; our cheeks went pale
To hear how the animals swam, though spent,
Round that ball of fire, like moths intent
On a lighted lamp; how the herring too,
In the harbor leaped toward the flame and flew
Till they hit the deck; how the snakes' dark skin
Turned iridescent as a minnow's fin;
And the snakes' green eyes on the purple sea
Were emeralds bedded in porphyry;
Of the beasts set free the bulk went down
By the burning ship; but a new renown
Was in wait for the few that swam ashore;
To hear a lordly lion roar
On an island nub was a thing to boast
For boys of this quiet northern coast;
But there stood one the color of sand
In the cove beside him, guarding the land;
A chestnut stallion was seen next day
On a half-tide rock far out in the bay;
And the stories of snakes in the bushes grew
Till the blackberries rotted on the vines; all through
The island ran shudders, but they really seemed slight
Compared to the jungle of our dreams that night;
In one wild nightmare I was chopping up a snake
When a lion swam towards me on the burning lake;
I tried hard to run, but heard the pound, pound
Of forty-'leven elephants beating up the ground,
Tearing through the spruces – on the leader sat
A little baby llama in a red plush hat;
A tiger just above me in an island spruce
Made a leap for the llama, his jaws dripping juice;
He wriggled on his belly to eat me up
When an orang-outang with a moustache-cup
Full of blood, and a razor, said, "Come and shave me,
Or pizzle-end up in the bottom of the sea
You go!" In a jiffy he put me on a plank
And shoved me in the water where I shivered and sank
Till my back hit a spike on the Royal Tar's rail
And woke me up; I could still feel the nail
In my back when I woke – some kink, I guess,
But wasn't I happy to be out of that mess!

One year later walking up the hill
Folks of Vinalhaven had a brand new thrill –
For out on the spot where the Royal Tar lay
Red flames shot up, then faded away;
They looked at one another, "Did you? And you?
See that flame take shape? Then it must be true."
They remembered and believed, for many a year
On that autumn night a crowd would appear
Looking out toward Eggemoggin Reach to behold
The Royal Tar rising in a circle of gold;
And some saw a sign that the flood of Noah's warning
Would yield to fire on the Judgment Morning;
But other folks went to bask in the glow
Of the one great horror they would ever know.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Anglo
Date: 07 Jan 03 - 09:02 PM

Perhaps I skimmed through the thread too quickly, but no one seems to have mentioned the Wonderful Crocodile.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 08 Jan 03 - 01:50 AM

Anglo, but was he a marine crocodile, or freshwater?

~ Becky in Tucson

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 Jan 03 - 07:53 AM

Check the DT for "Wonderful Crocodile" and draw your own conclusions. It's a fantastic song and well merits a look and a vote.

"After a while",
Charley Noble

Subject: Lyr Add: BILLY THE SQUID (T Chapin & J Forster)
From: Ken Schatz
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 12:17 AM

Delighted to find this Right Here in the DT. Always a treat to hear Rick Nestler sing it...

BILLY THE SQUID
(Tom Chapin & John Forster, 1992.)

In the sagas of under-sea outlaws,
And the great soggy deeds that they did,
The saltiest thief ever swam down a reef
Was an outlaw named Billy the Squid.

From the Grand Bank he'd stolen sand-dollars
And escaped on a sea-horse named Sid.
He took from the selfish and gave to the shell-fish
That great-hearted Billy the Squid.

In the Pink Coral Lounge -- that's the sand-bar
Of the former Miss Lake Champlain --
A beautiful mollusk, a real living dollusk
Her name it was Clammity Jane.

And the dive was as hard as a barnacle.
It was real barracuda to reign,
Where groupers and grunts pulled unsavory stunts,
Which was tough on poor Clammity Jane.

One night through the door swam a stranger.
To the corner he squirted and slid.
All the fish in the room grew as hush as a tomb
When they saw it was Billy the Squid.

Well, he had not come there for a hold-up
Or for personal criminal gain.
He said, "I've come on a mission. I've come here a-fishin'.
I've come for you, Clammity Jane."

He said, "Damn it, Clammit, I've hurt you.
I've caused you some pain. This I know.
But before it's too late, I'm gonna go straight,
Or as straight as a squid can go."

So he asked for her hand, but she had none,
And to prove it, she opened her lid.
She said, "How 'bout a foot?" and her foot out she put.
"It's a beauty," said Billy the Squid.

So he gathered her up in his tentacles.
Into the sunset they rid.
She said to him, clammily, "Let's start a family."
"Yahoo!" said Billy the Squid.

So then they moved to the submarine suburbs,
And when they found that they could not have kids,
They adopted three guppies and four dogfish puppies,
And a whole bunch of clammits and squids.

In the sagas of under-sea outlaws,
And the great soggy deeds that they did,
There's a clam who prevailed where the sheriff had failed,
When she captured bold Billy the Squid.

[As sung by Iain MacKintosh.]
@animal
filename[ BILLSQID
JD
July01

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:13 AM

Ken-

A violation of the Prime Thread Directive (see initial posting). Squigleys are indigenous to the oceans.

Maybe someone should start a squigley thread; I could offer one of the new Roll & Go T-shirts with a squid embracing an ancient ship as first prize.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: COINWOLF
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 02:38 PM

Amos is quite correct ..Hippopotamanners!

Anyone know the tune?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: PageOfCups
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 06:51 PM

Flanders & Swann's "Glorious Mud" has hippopotami in water (but it's a river or a lake). Bonus points for rhyming "hip-po-pot-A-mus" with "ig-no-RAY-mus."

PoC

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Nancy King
Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:50 PM

I was rather surprised to see Fogie's "sheep" song, as it's clearly from the same source as one Jonathan Eberhart of The Boarding Party put together some years ago. The BP did record the song, but the album has yet to be released (hang in there, folks, it'll happen eventually…). Gordon Bok, who learned it from the BP, has also recorded it (with the January Men, I think?) and his recording will undoubtedly come out before the BP's – probably quite soon. I wonder if Fogie learned it from either the Boarding Party or Bok, or -- ???.   Hard to imagine two people coming up with this independently…

Anyhow, here are the explanatory notes that will accompany the Boarding Party's – er – forthcoming album, along with the lyrics (I'm no good at posting tunes, Charley, but if you want it, PM me and we'll work something out):




        The Boarding Party's interest in sheep comes primarily from our many friends who are shearers, carders, spinners, dyers, knitters, weavers and waulkers of wool and not from that animal's questionable affiliation with the maritime trades. Even the veterinarian (tanky) on board royal navy ships was better known for dispensing grog than for butchering mutton. But sheep do get around, and they have a bad reputation among sailors. K. C. remembers the regular arrival in Saudi Arabia of the Australian sheep carrier ships and their strong and distinctive odor.
        W. H. Davies (1871-1940) was an Englishman who spent many years roaming the USA as a vagrant and working as a cowboy and as an animal handler aboard ships carrying live cargo. His "Autobiography of a Super-Tramp" ("with a preface by G. Bernard Shaw;" London: Jonathan Cape, 1908) contains vivid descriptions of his shipboard experiences with cattle and--far worse--sheep.   He was also a poet, and published hundreds of verses, many of which reflect his life experiences.
        Jonathan, with the help of good friend Susan Hills, put together this song by combining and adapting two poems, "Sheep" (1911) and "A Child's Pet" (1920--about the one tame sheep in a hold full of miserable creatures), both of which are found in The Complete Poems of W. H. Davies (Jonathan Cape, 1963).   The refrain and tune are adapted from a traditional spiritual, "Sheep, Sheep, Don't You Know the Road," as sung by Helen Schneyer, who heard it from Bessie Jones of the Georgia Sea Island Singers.



When I was once in Baltimore
A man came up to me and cried,
"Come, I have eighteen hundred sheep
To Glasgow bound on Tuesday's tide."

        Sheep, sheep, don't you know the tide?
        Yes, yes, we know the tide.
        Sheep, sheep, don't you know the tide?
        Oh yes, we know the tide.

The first night we were out at sea
Those sheep were quiet in their mind.
The second night they cried with fear--
They smelt no pastures in the wind.

        Sheep, sheep, don't you know the wind?   (etc.)

They sniffed, poor things, for their green fields,
They cried so loud I could not sleep.
They would not eat, they would not drink,
But bleated o'er the salt sea deep.

        Sheep, sheep, don't you know the deep? (etc.)

To sort the living from the dead,
Inside the pens we crawled each day,
And ere we came to Glasgow town,
Five hundred sheep had passed away.

        Sheep, sheep, don't you know the way? (etc.)

For all of fifty shillings down
I sailed across the salt sea deep.
For fifty thousand shillings down
I would not sail again with sheep.

        Sheep, sheep, don't you know the sheep?
        Oh yes, we know the sheep.
        For fifty million shillings down
        I would not sail again with sheep.

        Sheep, sheep, don't you know the tide
        Oh yes, we know the tide.
        Sheep, sheep, you're bound to ride
        Sheep on the deep and how they cried--
        Sheep on the deep and how they cried.



Cheers,
Nancy

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Jan 03 - 05:42 PM

Nancy-O, thanks so much for the notes and additional lines to the sheep at sea song. This single song makes this whole thread worth sifting through.

I do hope the 3rd Boarding Party CD finally sees the light of day, and I don't want to hear the details of what must be a difficult process. I just want to buy a bale of them and send them out to my friends.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

P.S.

"Do you hear sheep?" me brother said;
Me Grandma lept in fright!
"Your brother's wrong," Grandma said,
"Have you herd sheep is right!"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 11 Jan 03 - 09:50 AM

Then there was the sad case of the sheep shipped from the Falklands back to England after the great war there not so long ago. There was Jock the sheepherder, drowning his sorrows at the Port Stanley Pub, lamenting the loss of his herd.

"Were they killed by bombing, or mines, or shell fire?" one of his neighbors kindly asked.

"Hell, no," replied Jock wiping away a tear, "They was sent back as war brides!"

Sheepishly,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: GUEST,gripper
Date: 11 Jan 03 - 04:01 PM

Check out 'The Grimsby Fisherman' otherwise known as 'The Dogger Bank' in Roy Palmer's Oxford Book of Sea Songs. Therein you will find the following lines--Our skipper's a Shanghai rooster---A Liverpool Irish Packet-rat and a son of a kangaroo---and in every ringtail monkey man you'd recognise our cook. Every sea dog knows this one.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Jan 03 - 10:39 AM

Well, Gripper, not bad for animal nicknames but not non-marine animals featured in a sea ballad. I think that sheep song is gonna win; it's shear pleasure just to read the lyrics...

Click, click,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 27 Feb 03 - 06:16 PM

Just heard a tape of "Sheep on the Deep" and it's a real pleasing song. I may just have to convince Roll & Go to do it, although individual members can be as difficult to herd as sheep. We might also be subject to all kinds of outrageous puns and pruient suggestions.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: GUEST,ClaireBear
Date: 27 Feb 03 - 06:51 PM

Glad to see this back, as I just remembered the dragon -- not to mention the Zebu -- in Jimmy Driftwood's "Voyage of St Brendan" (in the DT under that name). Hadn't thought of it in ages.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 27 Feb 03 - 08:56 PM

And the "hot barbeque"! Great song!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 11:18 AM

Refresh!

I'm wondering if anyone has come up with any new thoughts?

I still think "Sheep on the Deep" is the clear winner but one can have a whole lot of fun reviewing this thread.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: GUEST,ClaireBear
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 01:29 PM

No, but you just reminded me that my mother told me that my grandfather (whom I never met) always sang "Rocked on the Cradle of the Deep" as "Locked in the Stable with the Sheep." Coincidence?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 14 Jan 05 - 02:37 PM

ClaireBear-

Perhaps, your grandfather also knew this verse as well:

She was only the stableman's daughter,
But all the sheepmen knew 'er...

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 Nov 11 - 05:30 PM

refresh

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Gibb Sahib
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 07:29 AM

Kinkajou?

Good Mornin', Ladies All

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 09:11 AM

Gibb-

It certainly would be nice to harvest the rest of this shanty, as the primates take over sailing the ship after the crew was struck down by yellow jack.

Maybe I can channel the rest of the verses.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Nov 11 - 04:22 PM

Here's another old poems that my mother suggested I have a look at by Rudyard Kipling, with the focus on steers running amuck in a cattle boat caught in a gale (copy and paste into WORD/TIMES/12 to line up the chords):

As adapted for singing by Charlie Ipcar, 11/6/11
By Rudyard Kipling, © 1894

Mulholland's Contract-2

C-----------------------------------------F-------------G--C
The fear was on the cattle, for the gale was on the sea,
------------------------------------------G--C----------------------------G
An' the pens broke up on the low-er deck an' let the creatures free --
------------F--------------------------Am------------------F-------------G--C
Then the lights went out as the cattle lowed, with no one near but me.

An' I'd been singin' all the night just to keep them quiet there,
For the lower deck has its dangers, requirin' constant care,
An' given to me as the strongest man, though I used to drink and swear.

I saw my chance was certain sure of bein' horned or trod,
For the deck was packed with steers, thicker then peas in a pod,
An' more pens broke at every roll -- so I made a Contract with God.

An' by the terms of this Contract, as I have read the same,
If He got me back to port alive I would exalt His Name,
An' praise His Holy Majesty, till further orders came.

He saved me from the cattle, an' He saved me from the sea,
For they found me 'tween two drowned ones where the roll had landed me --
An' a four-inch crack on top of my head, as crazy as could be.

That crack was done by a stanchion, not by a bullock at all,
An' I lay still for seven weeks, convalessing of the fall,
An' readin' the shiny Scripture texts in the Seaman's Hospital.

An' I spoke to God of our Contract, an' He answer'd to my prayer:
"I never puts on My ministers no more than they can bear;
So go you back to them cattle-boats an' preach My Gospel there.

"For human life's a chancy thing at any kind of trade,
But most of all, as well you know, when the steers are mad-afraid;
So go you back to them cattle-boats an' preach 'em as I've say'd.

"They must quit their drinkin' an' swearin', no knifing at a blow,
An' they must quit their gamblin', an' you must preach it so;
For them cattle-boats are more like Hell than anything I know."

Now I didn't want to do it, for I knew what I would get,
An' I wanted to preach Religion, handsome an' out of the wet,
But the Word of the Lord was lain on me, an' I done what I was set.

So I've been smit an' bruised, as I knew would be the case,
But I've turned my cheek to the smiter exactly as Scripture says;
An' followin' that, I knocked him down an' led him up to Grace.

Now we've got preaching on Sundays, whenever the sea is calm,
An' I use no knife or pistol an' I never takes no harm,
For the Lord abideth back of me to guide my fightin' arm.

An' I sign for four-pound-ten a month and save the money clear,
An' I'm in charge of the lower deck, an' I never lose a steer;
An' I believe in Almighty God, an' preach His Gospel here.


Notes:

First published in 1894, republished in The Seven Seas, © 1896, p. 88.

By Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

Mulholland's Contract (original poem)

The fear was on the cattle, for the gale was on the sea,
An' the pens broke up on the lower deck an' let the creatures free --
An' the lights went out on the lower deck, an' no one near but me.

I had been singin' to them to keep them quiet there,
For the lower deck is the dangerousest, requirin' constant care,
An' give to me as the strongest man, though used to drink and swear.

I see my chance was certain of bein' horned or trod,
For the lower deck was packed with steers thicker 'n peas in a pod,
An' more pens broke at every roll -- so I made a Contract with God.

An' by the terms of the Contract, as I have read the same,
If He got me to port alive I would exalt His Name,
An' praise His Holy Majesty till further orders came.

He saved me from the cattle an' He saved me from the sea,
For they found me 'tween two drownded ones where the roll had landed me --
An' a four-inch crack on top of my head, as crazy as could be.

But that were done by a stanchion, an' not by a bullock at all,
An' I lay still for seven weeks convalessing of the fall,
An' readin' the shiny Scripture texts in the Seaman's Hospital.

An' I spoke to God of our Contract, an' He says to my prayer:
"I never puts on My ministers no more than they can bear.
So back you go to the cattle-boats an' preach My Gospel there.

"For human life is chancy at any kind of trade,
But most of all, as well you know, when the steers are mad-afraid;
So you go back to the cattle-boats an' preach 'em as I've said.

"They must quit drinkin' an' swearin', they mustn't knife on a blow,
They must quit gamblin' their wages, and you must preach it so;
For now those boats are more like Hell than anything else I know."

I didn't want to do it, for I knew what I should get,
An' I wanted to preach Religion, handsome an' out of the wet,
But the Word of the Lord were lain on me, an' I done what I was set.

I have been smit an' bruised, as warned would be the case,
An' turned my cheek to the smiter exactly as Scripture says;
But following that, I knocked him down an' led him up to Grace.

An' we have preaching on Sundays whenever the sea is calm,
An' I use no knife or pistol an' I never take no harm,
For the Lord abideth back of me to guide my fighting arm.

An' I sign for four-pound-ten a month and save the money clear,
An' I am in charge of the lower deck, an' I never lose a steer;
An' I believe in Almighty God an' preach His Gospel here.

The skippers say I'm crazy, but I can prove 'em wrong,
For I am in charge of the lower deck with all that doth belong --
Which they would not give to a lunatic, and the competition so strong!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Animals at Sea Song Challenge
From: Charley Noble
Date: 06 Nov 11 - 11:09 AM

Well, the tune has morphed again with a few more wording changes. Now it's more like a traditional a traditional blues, think Stagger-Lee:


As adapted for singing by Charlie Ipcar, 11/6/11
By Rudyard Kipling, © 1894
Tune: traditional blues

Mulholland's Contract-3

G------------------------------------------------------C--G
The fear was on the cattle, for the gale was on the sea,
----------C----------------------------C7-C--------D------C---------G
An' the pens broke up on the low-er deck an' let the creatures free --
------------D------------------------D7----D-----------------C-------D---G
Then the lights went out as the cattle lowed, with no one near but me.

An' I'd been singin' all night long just to keep them quiet there,
For the lower deck has dangers, requirin' constant care,
An' given to me as the strongest man, though I used to drink and swear.

I saw my chance was certain sure of bein' horned or trod,
For the deck was packed with cattle, thicker then peas in a pod,
An' more pens broke at every roll -- so I made a Contract with God.

An' by the terms of this Contract, as I have read the same,
If He got me back to port alive I would exalt His Name,
An' praise His Holy Majesty, till further orders came.

He saved me from the cattle, an' He saved me from the sea,
For they found me 'tween two drowned ones where the roll had landed me --
An' a four-inch crack on top of my head, as crazy as could be.

That crack was done by a stanchion, not by a bullock at all,
An' I lay still for seven weeks, convalessing of the fall,
An' readin' them shiny Scripture texts in the Seaman's Hospital.

An' I spoke to God of our Contract, an' He answer'd to my prayer:
"I never puts on My ministers no more than they can bear;
So go you back to them cattle-boats an' preach My Gospel there.

"For human life's a chancy thing at any kind of trade,
But most of all, as well you know, when the steers are mad-afraid;
So go you back to them cattle-boats an' preach 'em as I've say'd.

"They must quit their drinkin' an' swearin', no knifing at a blow,
An' they must quit their gamblin', an' you must preach it so;
For them cattle-boats are more like Hell than anything I know."

Now I didn't want to do it, for I knew what I would get,
An' I wanted to preach Religion, handsome an' out of the wet,
But the Word of the Lord was lain on me, an' I done what I was set.

So I've been smit an' bruised, as I knew would be the case,
But I've turned my cheek to the smiter exactly as Scripture says;
An' followin' that, I knocked him down an' led him up to Grace.

Now we've got preaching on Sundays, whenever the sea is calm,
An' I use no knife or pistol an' I never takes no harm,
For the Lord abideth back of me to guide my fightin' arm.

An' I sign for four-pound-ten a month and save the money clear,
An' I'm in charge of the lower deck, an' I never lose a steer;
An' I believe in Almighty God, an' preach His Gospel here.

The skippers say I'm crazy, but I can prove 'em wrong,
For I'm in charge of the lower deck with all that doth belong --
Which they would not give to a lunatic, the competition all so strong!

And I restored the last verse, which I'm still not sure is a keeper.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble