 sj |
||
|
||
punch the horse in hornsea
|
|
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Dave Bryant Date: 14 Jan 03 - 10:39 AM As Ms Penelope Rutledge has already admonished me on this thread, I thought I should attempt to make amends by giving her this information. Ms Penelope Rutledge, I'm sure that if you visited that jewel of South East London, (Royal) Eltham, you would be completely bowled over by that wonderful performer and fine figure of masculinity, Mr David Kenningham. He can frequently be found at that pillar of culture (and listed building) "The Tudor Barn" on a Wednesday evening. The aforenamed building is of course only a short distance away from a royal palace. You will be able to find several likenesses of this adonis at this site. He is at present unattached, but obviously, so many ladies are so captivated by his charm and good looks, that this situation cannot last long. I'm sure that once you have made his aquaintance, both the agressive and overbearingly priggish Winston, and that poor lap-dog Oakley, will vanish from your affections in his favour. |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: The DeanMeister Date: 14 Jan 03 - 04:28 AM Was I there? |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Banjo-Flower Date: 11 Jan 03 - 04:51 PM Oakleaf it'always bedtime in your loins alegidly9 Gerry |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Oaklet Date: 11 Jan 03 - 10:12 AM When I read the haughty text of my true love, it becomes April in my heart and bedtime in my loins. Sigh. |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: ossonflags Date: 11 Jan 03 - 08:36 AM look at "punch the horse on tv" thread,there is some bounder who claims not to have heard of our beloved punch the horse!!!!!! bearHoi9 to you with 9obs o9 |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Oaklet Date: 11 Jan 03 - 12:56 AM BeerHoi9 Chris! |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: GUEST,Kipling Date: 11 Jan 03 - 12:35 AM Jesus Christ!!!!! -wet knickers -penelope rutledge -mick's brothel creepers -hornsea -purple helmets -hamsters Tis' all a swirling universe of confusion to me, with many terms and phrases I know not the meanings of or the significance. Beer Hoi9!!!!!!!! Kipling, Kipple, Kipple,Kipple |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge Date: 10 Jan 03 - 09:23 PM Dave Bryant, I suppose you think you are very funny. I don't! To the devil with you! And Winston? SHUT UP!!! |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: GUEST,Winston Wellington-Jones Date: 10 Jan 03 - 09:17 PM There have been some very scurrilous things written on this stupid forum lately, and I intend to set the record straight. I am not blond nor am I effeminate, as you will find out, Oakley, should our paths cross. They are, however, unlikely to. Much as I would like to impress upon you a certain measure of both respect and caution, I have been advised not to by Ms Penelope Rutledge, as I think you know. Very well. In my opinion, the woman has totally lost her bearings and is adrift in a schoolgirl fantasy of her own devising, this due to spending too much time engrossed in idealistic pursuits gleaned from archaic novels written by depressed Victorian female poets, and succoring lost pets, but...I know Penelope, and she is no more easily turned from her chosen course than was the Titanic on its way to meet the iceberg. Nor shall I attempt to turn her from it. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and I am hardly at a loss for amusement. Hardly. Now, as for that slobbering, incoherent, foul-mouthed, cretin of a guitar player, Mr. Phil "T" Habetz, well...I expect he will shortly find himself up before the local magistrate on some heinous charge such as public mischief, gross indecency or statutory rape, hopefully in some place like Uzbekistan, where they have the kind of brutal penalties appropriate to degenerate scum with no redeeming charactistics. He is a louse on the body of society. I happened upon his cacaphonic "band", Screw the Pooch, in a noisome club in Hull, while attempting to find your band. We had words. (At least I did...his speech was almost indecipherable.) I decided to put him in his place, but his drummer, a fat, slimy-looking young man with a mass of curly hair, stepped between us and I knocked him flat, at which point five bouncers intervened and one hell of a ruckus ensued. It was nip and tuck for awhile, but we succeeded in eventually reaching an agreement outside the doors of the pub. We agreed that I would leave off if they did and they did, so that ended it. I would send Mr. Habetz a bill for scuffs on my boots and a rip in one sleeve of my jacket, but I am not so foolish as to try and get milk from a male pig, as it were, or to attempt to get him to appreciate Chopin. You have speculated about my appearance, Oakley. I have short dark, straight hair, a medium sized mustache, and am 6'1" tall, strongly built. People say that I closely resemble Oliver Reed in the late 60's, as he appeared when making the film "Women in Love", but I would say I am a little narrower across the lower part of the face, not quite so fleshy. Otherwise, the comparison is apt. I rather like his films. He had a cold steeliness that I identify with entirely. Some people don't like me, Oakley. They say I am cruel, arrogant, and self-absorbed. I relish their disapproval. I enjoy making the weak nervous. It amuses me. Penelope disapproves of my drinking. Let her. I am entirely in control of my alcohol intake, and it has never prevented me from accomplishing anything I set out to accomplish. Penelope has many fine qualities, as I think you know, but she is altogether too idealistic. I am a pragmatist. I do not let myself be swayed by romantic, fuzzy-headed balderdash, but go straight to the point like an arrow to its target. I frankly do not think Penelope and I are suited to one another. It's a pity, but there it is. Your correspondences have impressed upon me one thing...your sincerity. Well, I'm not above a certain sporting instinct, so I am going to wish you good luck. Taking on Penelope Rutledge is a task not for the faint of heart, I can assure you. The woman has the unwavering will and utter focus of a bloodhound on the trail. Quite impressive, really. That's why I was interested in her. I'm still wondering exactly what she did to that pervert, Buggeroll, that evening when they were in the VI library. The bastard looked quite shaken upon emerging, which he did a minute or two after she stalked out, cheeks aflame like the victorious Boadicea. I've a notion he tried something he shouldn't have. Ho! Ho! I wish I had been a fly on the wall for that one. They say a cutlass (off the same wall) was found embedded in the back of an oak chair. My, my... I would gladly have broken his neck, but, alas...I didn't have a good opportunity to do so. Besides, neck-breaking is still illegal in Twillingsgate, even for a Wellington-Jones. Too bad. I'd have broken fifty or so by now, I think... Well, that about sums it up. Best of luck, old chap! Tally ho! Brush up on your Strauss waltzes and keep a stiff upper lip, you poor South Ferriby sod... (*wink) WWJ |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Noreen Date: 10 Jan 03 - 09:00 PM Couldn't sleep, O Meister.... pining for you.... |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Little Hawk Date: 10 Jan 03 - 01:48 PM No, you just need her permisson... - LH |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: The DeanMeister Date: 10 Jan 03 - 06:57 AM Do we need a visa to enter Holderness? |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: My guru always said Date: 10 Jan 03 - 05:02 AM Perhaps Noreen is getting ready to come to Straw Bear? |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: The DeanMeister Date: 10 Jan 03 - 04:40 AM What the heck u doin up at 5:11am???? |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Noreen Date: 10 Jan 03 - 12:14 AM Sitting here at 5:11 am, still awaiting the call.. Have they forgotten me? :0( |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:16 PM Too bad. How about Shagwillie on Thames, then? :-) - LH |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 09 Jan 03 - 08:54 PM hEloo, i am not going, because i think it is to far away, espeshully if the weather is basd, 9icy etc).john ps, i think they should do more jigs in hull anyway, so hull people can see them . another ps.= I went to hornsea , it was shit, there is just hornsea potteries there, and that is shit as well.john |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Jan 03 - 08:37 PM Amazing. Truly amazing. I wish Ms Rutledge herself would comment on the situation. Phil sounds like one of the illegitimate progeny of Ted Nugent or someone like that. In another 20 years he'll probably be governor of Ohio or some other large state. Fortunately, Orillia is too small a place to attract bands like his, but that doesn't stop the more brain-dead kids around here from listening to them, and wishing they too could ROCK & RULE! (Gag!) - LH |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: smallpiper Date: 09 Jan 03 - 07:48 PM NO I've got a fucking cold! |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Oaklet Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:57 AM Can you hear it? |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: The DeanMeister Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:19 AM Mark. |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: The DeanMeister Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:18 AM Pending further good behaviour, my sweet x |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Noreen Date: 09 Jan 03 - 11:01 AM *swoon* So.... another six months might do it, O Meister?? |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Oaklet Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:50 AM I have discovered evidence that the hatred between Winston and "Phil" stems from Phil's obsessional infatuation with Winston. This came to a head in the summer when Phil got his ears boxed by the hyphenated fop after an unfortunate incident in Twillinsgate's only adult cinema. Winston dropped all charges after Phil - real name Norman Arthur Puty-Bowells, according to the charge sheet - agreed to stand Winston's dry-cleaning bill. Doing a Clinton on velveteen is normally a rather permanent statement, apparently. |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: The DeanMeister Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:25 AM See, Phil? You don't stand a chance mate. Noreen, you have just been promoted 10 places up the list for outstanding behaviour. Keep up the good work x |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Noreen Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:16 AM What the DeanMeister says is true *sigh* #1 |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: The DeanMeister Date: 09 Jan 03 - 10:15 AM Sychronise aerophones on my mark. |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Oaklet Date: 09 Jan 03 - 09:32 AM According to the will of jOhn, we move at 9. People of Hull, start to align your appliances now and gaze skywards for a sign. We will know when it is time. |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Mr Red Date: 09 Jan 03 - 08:13 AM John from Hull Is that the correc9 spp99ing ? ps I thought the preferred etiquette with trolls was to ignore them? |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: My guru always said Date: 09 Jan 03 - 08:09 AM Straw Bear anyone? Bring the shoes! |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: GUEST,specky Date: 09 Jan 03 - 07:22 AM speechless |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: GUEST,specky Date: 09 Jan 03 - 07:21 AM |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: The DeanMeister Date: 09 Jan 03 - 06:47 AM Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo NOT THE SHOES........!!!!!!!! Anything but the shoes.......!!! |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Dave Bryant Date: 09 Jan 03 - 05:59 AM Phil Is it true that the desirable Ms Penelope Rutledge tries to get to all your "Screw the Pooch" gigs and gets so turned on that she keeps throwing her soggy panties onto the stage ? According to a friend of mine who works at the Twillingsgate M&S, she always knows when you are performing because Ms P. R. buys at least 6 pairs of undies to take with her each time ! |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: ossonflags Date: 09 Jan 03 - 05:39 AM yes oakley,the shoes. |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: ossonflags Date: 09 Jan 03 - 05:37 AM oakers, thanks for welcome to lodge. Will you be playing "The masons apron " in honour of the occasion? john, "Moorlock shore" well under way,just wants some fine tuning, ie.getting the others to do it,very busy gig schedule allows little time for rehearsals. |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Oaklet Date: 09 Jan 03 - 05:27 AM Oh God. Not the shoes Ossonflags, please. |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: ossonflags Date: 09 Jan 03 - 05:22 AM I was rockin'before any of you,being the elder statesman of the Original punch the horse and not some feeble colonial imitation. You are trifelling, sir, with the coooooolist lead singer in the northern hemisphere and in honour of the occasion will be wearing my original black and white brothel creepers on saturday night -I can hear axemans squeals of Nooooooooooo!!!!! already, but high ho a challenge is a challenge. |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Oaklet Date: 09 Jan 03 - 05:10 AM Be gentle with him, Deanmeister. He is, after all one of Winston Wellington-Jones's friends. The poor chap. |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: The DeanMeister Date: 09 Jan 03 - 04:53 AM I believe I may have something to say about this unpleasant arrival on the scene. Young man, were we to play at a gig together, the girls would indeed be falling over you....to get to me. I have skill in this area. They may chant your name, but I will have their phone numbers before you have recovered from the concussion incurred during the stampede. I shall select the classy ladies, and you can keep the ones that a foul mouthed degenerate like you deserves. They are beneath my contempt anyway. With regard to musical talent, brother Oakley has more in his little finger than you will ever accumulate. And if it's a lead break that turns you on, bow down and worship before the Meister. I was rocking before you were a twinkle in your unknown daddy's eye. Grotty English pubs, you say? Give me gaslight, Guinness and a roaring fire anyday over colonial bars serving tasteless froth. I wish you luck on your forthcoming world tour, Philip, and hope you get lost in Siberia. I hear there are some delightful Olga's there. But you better stay off my turf, unless you wish to be revealed as the talentless fraud you are. The Gauntlet is down, chaps. |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Oaklet Date: 09 Jan 03 - 04:29 AM My thread-drift detector has gone off. |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Oaklet Date: 09 Jan 03 - 04:18 AM 9 |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: GUEST,Phil "T" Habetz Date: 09 Jan 03 - 01:47 AM That's your opinion, an ya know what they say about opinions...dontcha? It's better than Engledork Humperdink! Hey, is their really a place around here called Hornsea? Is it down the road from Shagwillie on Thames? LOL!!! Later, man. I gotta busy life. Got a world tour to do here...England, Holland, and Germany. Eat my dust, John, baby. Tell Oakley t' stop shaggin' Corgis! The Queen dont like it. He will get his fool head lopped off! |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 09 Jan 03 - 01:31 AM ps. you spelled recognise wrong as well, stupid.anyway Punch the horse are my frends so if you say any more bad things about them, i will punch your face, so just watch it,stupif.john |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 09 Jan 03 - 01:22 AM youve got a silly name as well.john |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: GUEST,Phil "T" Habetz Date: 08 Jan 03 - 11:54 PM Yeah right. Ask me if I care, looser! I make BIG BUCKS, baby! Girls are fallin all over me. I ROCK...you shlock... I woulda nver even known about this Mudcat Latte except for the rude dude, Winston. "Winston Wellington Jones" HOO-HAH!!! What an asshole. He told me about Oakley. He also called me a degenerate. I am not stupid, I know what it means. I called him a few things too, as you can probably imagine, but I figure you wusses wouldnt be able to take it if I used that language here, so I am showing mercy here. Capiche? You can bend down and thank me now, John from Hull. LOL! I understand you are some kind of saint or something with all the 9 this and 9 that everywhere...are you tryin to start a cult? Don't try, man. Your just not cool enough. Give it a rest. Go back to entertaining your grannies and the old geezers who haunt your grotty English pubs. Man, I gotta get back to Soho soon. That place is wild. Have a drink and a laugh and get stupid! Tell 'em I said its okay. And don't forget: $$$ SCREW THE POOCH $$$ RULES!!! |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 08 Jan 03 - 09:54 PM you spelled losers wrong, stupid. |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: GUEST,Phil "T" Habetz Date: 08 Jan 03 - 09:31 PM Punch the Horse SUCKS! You guys are majer loosers and your not cool. You might reckanize my name, I am Phil "T" Habetz and I am the lead guitar player for $$$ SCREW THE POOCH $$$ the greatest rock n roll band in the World! WE ROCK! You don't! What more can I say? I pity you has beens. When I play a lead break the crowd chants "PHIL T, PHIL T, PHIL T, PHIL T!!!" at 85000 F'in decibles, man... Who chants for you? Your mommies? Ha! Ha! ROTFLMFAO!!! Some Brit dipwad in a fancy suit was buggin us back before Christmas cos he was lookin for you guys and he found us. Matter of fact, he was lookin for Oakley to be specific about it. I shouda punched his lights out. I'm sorry I didn't. He was a rude bastard and as arrogant as all hell. I hope he finds you, Oakley, cos I think you deserve each other. I think he doesnt like you. Well, I guess I have made my point. $$$ SCREW THE POOCH $$$ RULES! Punch the Horse drools! See you in Hull, loosers! |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: smallpiper Date: 08 Jan 03 - 07:45 PM Oakley desist - your precognition is out of tune its got the bloddy independant chanel and not the kosher official one stop in th ename of 9! |
|
Subject: RE: punch the horse in hornsea From: Oaklet Date: 08 Jan 03 - 07:11 PM Banjo_Flower - your place is assured. We have work to do. Position the appliance tonight for the moon rises as foretold9 |
| Share Thread: |