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BS: Chefs in charge in British Army?
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Subject: BS: From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 12 Jan 03 - 02:55 PM From today's Observer (and it is not a spoof): Chefs set to lead the way in war on Saddam Chefs have been drafted in to command soldiers training for a possible assault on Iraq because Britain's elite infantry regiments are so short of experienced soldiers. Specialised cooking staff from the third battalion of the Parachute regiment, one of the British Army's most prestigious units, are deployed as sergeants and section commanders on battle exercises in south Wales. The unit, part of the 16th Air Assault Brigade, is likely to spearhead any British contribution to an American-led force in the Gulf. The move has enraged fighting soldiers in the regiment. 'These are guys who haven't been on frontline duties for years. Are they going to take out a bunker with a ladle?', one said. 'We have got chefs supposed to be giving elite soldiers detailed fire control instructions. How can they do that if they have been organising potato peeling since the last Gulf War?' For the full story, click here. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: DougR Date: 12 Jan 03 - 04:37 PM Well, in a pinch McGrath, they can probably whip up some fish and chips or something, eh? :>) DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: Rapparee Date: 12 Jan 03 - 04:53 PM This has to be a violation of the Geneva Accords! SOME treaty has to prevent military cooks from...Oh My God! Culinary warfare! Worse, *military* culinary warfare! Will they draft Jamie Oliver next? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: Charley Noble Date: 12 Jan 03 - 04:53 PM Ah...Saddam's goose is cooked? Or will these sergeants just make a hash of it? Somebody stop me before I'm forced to kill... Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: smallpiper Date: 12 Jan 03 - 05:34 PM Anybody tasted army cooking - I'm scared believe me and so should be anyone they come up against! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: harvey andrews Date: 12 Jan 03 - 05:53 PM Threaten any enemy with army catering and they will surrender. I did quite a few Combined services entertainment gigs in the last vestiges of Empire in the 70's/80's and a Brize Norton breakfast at 4 in the morning before embarking for the flight, swimming as it did in a sea of grease and cholesterol, would stop anything.( or the reverse) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: Snuffy Date: 12 Jan 03 - 06:29 PM Aldershot Cement Company rules, OK! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 12 Jan 03 - 07:08 PM "An army marches on its stomach"
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: artbrooks Date: 12 Jan 03 - 07:57 PM Huuuum...does this mean that the machine gunners and radio operators are now cooking? And has the food gotten any better? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: Blackcatter Date: 12 Jan 03 - 08:00 PM Considering the quality of food in the armed forces, maybe the chefs should be on the front line... pax yall |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 12 Jan 03 - 08:55 PM Of course all this could be a cunning plan to put the enemy off guard... If Baldrick was a general I think we'd expect something of that kind. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: Peter Kasin Date: 12 Jan 03 - 10:16 PM Reminds me of a verse in a WWII U.S. soldiers morale song: "The potatoes in the army they say they're mighty fine One rolled off the table and killed a pal of mine.." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: GUEST,desert rat Date: 13 Jan 03 - 02:49 AM andys cap commandos (ACC) at it again. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: Gervase Date: 13 Jan 03 - 03:12 AM Having seen what an Airborne cook can do to a humble meat pie, I don't think there'll be any shortage of hard cover or fragmentation weapons for the troops! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: HuwG Date: 13 Jan 03 - 04:55 AM Anything Cookable Cremated. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 13 Jan 03 - 07:01 AM Cooks were called baitlayers by shearers earlier in Australia's history. sandra |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: GUEST,A very old soldier Date: 13 Jan 03 - 08:22 AM A very old army 'joke'. Who called the cook a bastard? Who called the bastard a cook? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: Dead Horse Date: 13 Jan 03 - 08:39 AM About time the para's went on a Cooks Tour! The dreaded Red Berets are tomato flavour, then? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: Schantieman Date: 13 Jan 03 - 12:52 PM Pack up your dixie for the old front line To braise and boil. Whilst you've an enemy to drive away Fry and roast and broil. What's the use of infantry, And engineers to toil? So: send for the caterers to chop and slice and braise and boil! Steve |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: Charley Noble Date: 13 Jan 03 - 03:30 PM Let's raise a mug to Steve! Up ladles, me lads, seek out and destroy! Charley Noble |
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Subject: Lyr Add: COOK 'EM ALL From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 13 Jan 03 - 04:28 PM Nice Schantieman. Or alternatively: Cook 'em all, cook 'em all, Now the cookies have answered the call. Cook all the sergeants and the officers too, And cook all their privates to serve in a stew. They say that we're headed away to the East Though we'd much sooner go down the pub, There's some bugger called Bush says it's time for a push, Though we'd rather be dishing up grub. Here we go, cheerio, You might think we are marching too slow, But the British divisions need ample provisions, To be fit for to fight with the foe, I hear that the tanks that we got from the Yanks Are inclined to get stuck in the sand, But with bangers and mash we will cut quite a dash, So they need us to give them a hand. Cook em all, cook em all, The long and the short and the tall, They're cooking up something and it seems it's a war, So it's time to get stuck in, like always before. But are we downhearted or are we distressed? Why no, we'll be having a ball, For cookie is always at home in a mess. So cheer up me lads, cook 'em all. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: Charley Noble Date: 13 Jan 03 - 05:05 PM "And cook all their PRIVATES to serve in a stew." LOL But nice one, McGrath! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: GUEST,Q Date: 13 Jan 03 - 08:34 PM An old cowboy term for cook was biscuit-shooter. I guess they would have to be called scone-shooters in the British Army. Or do they have scones in the Army? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: GUEST Date: 13 Jan 03 - 09:01 PM I can recall that there were two types of cooks in infantry regiments: 1)Army Catering Corp cook - attached to a unit for a number of years and they will have done basic training like every soldier. 2)Regimental Cooks - men from within the Regiment who go on a cooking course and come back,if qualified,as a cook. These cooks will have done their infantry training and if applicable undergone the NCO cadres necessary to learn battlefield leadership skills. So no problem if it is a 2) but if it is a 1) then hellzapoppin. Just my 2 percent. CD. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: Schantieman Date: 14 Jan 03 - 11:00 AM BRILLIANT! McGrath. You should be a folkie! Steve |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: aussiebloke Date: 14 Jan 03 - 12:15 PM A short cooks poem, although he may have been tall. "What'll it be?" asked the cook, reflectively picking his nose. "A couple of boiled eggs you bas**rd, ya can't stick your fingers in those!" Cheers aussiebloke |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: Schantieman Date: 14 Jan 03 - 12:38 PM Looking at that song again, McG., I think it deserves a wider audience. I wonder who'd give it air time/column space. John Peel, perhaps, on Home Truths? S |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: DougR Date: 14 Jan 03 - 12:57 PM Congratulations McGrath! You have succeeded in posting a humorous thread without nary a cross post. Refreshing, eh? DougR |
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Subject: Lyr Add: COOK 'EM ALL From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 14 Jan 03 - 02:34 PM That's an idea Schantieman. I've just looked up tye John Peewl Home Truths website, and stuck this in the email slot on the home page: There was a story in the paper on Sunday about Army Chefs being put in charge of fighting units - http://www.observer.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,873354,00.html - so I posted it on an international forum of folkies round the world, because the stuff about the war has understandably been a bit heavy. This led to a discussion (http://www.mudcat.org/thread.cfm?threadid=55622&messages=28), and led me to write this version of Bless 'Em All. And someone suggested that sending it to John Peel, that staunch ex-squaddy, might be fitting. So here it is: Cook 'em all, cook 'em all, Now the cookies have answered the call. Cook all the sergeants and the officers too, And cook all their privates to serve in a stew. They say that we're headed away to the East Though we'd much sooner go down the pub, There's some bugger called Bush says it's time for a push, Though we'd rather be dishing up grub. Here we go, cheerio, You might think we are marching too slow, But the British divisions need ample provisions, To be fit for to fight with the foe, I hear that the tanks that we got from the Yanks Are inclined to get stuck in the sand, But with bangers and mash we will cut quite a dash, So they need us to give them a hand. Cook em all, cook em all, The long and the short and the tall, They're cooking up something and it seems it's a war, So it's time to get stuck in, like always before. But are we downhearted or are we distressed? Why no, we'll be having a ball, For cookie is always at home in a mess. So cheer up me lads, cook 'em all. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Chefs in charge in British Army? From: Charley Noble Date: 14 Jan 03 - 08:16 PM It's amazing, gang, what can be accomplished with just a little encouragement. ;~) Cheerily, Charley Noble |