Song Challenge: Turkey Attacks N-Plant

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 02:36 PM

This recent report from the Seabrook Nuclear Plant in New Hampshire brightened my day, but may keep me awake giggling all night. There may be a song in this:

Subject: DER-Seabrook-Security Code RED

U.S. Nuclear Regulatory Commission Monday March 24, 2003 Daily Event Report

|Power Reactor                                    |Event Number:
39686       |

| FACILITY: SEABROOK                REGION: 1 |NOTIFICATION DATE:
03/21/2003|
|    UNIT: [1] [] []                STATE: NH |NOTIFICATION TIME:
21:21[EST]|
|   RXTYPE: [1] W-4-LP                           |EVENT DATE:
03/21/2003|
EVENT TIME:
20:53[EST]|
| NRC NOTIFIED BY: MARK McCARTHY                |LAST UPDATE DATE:
03/22/2003|
HQ OPS OFFICER: STEVE SANDIN
PERSON
ORGANIZATION |
|EMERGENCY CLASS:          UNUSUAL EVENT         |PETE ESELGROTH
R1      |
|10 CFR SECTION:                                 |STUART RICHARDS
NRR    |
|AAEC 50.72(a) (1) (i)    EMERGENCY DECLARED    |NADER MAMISH
IRO    |
|                                                |WATCH OFFICER
FEMA    |


|UNIT |SCRAM CODE|RX CRIT|INIT PWR|   INIT RX MODE |CURR PWR| CURR RX
MODE   |


|1    N          Y       100      Power Operation |100      Power Operation |

                                    EVENT TEXT

| UNUSUAL EVENT DECLARED DUE TO POTENTIAL INTRUDER INSIDE THE PA               
|
| The licensee provided the following information during their initial call:   |

"We declared a UE (Unusual Event) [at 2053 EST] based on 18A.Security declared code Red. We have an intruder in the PA (Protected Area).We have no indications of off normal plant conditions and we have no specific threat |indicated."

The licensee initially reported that their CAS (Central Alarm Station) received an alarm from the security fence around the PA. Some security force members reported seeing some sort of object come over the fence simultaneous with the alarm. Site security immediately responded to the situation, along with the Seabrook Emergency Response
Team (SERT), and the FBI.
| Region I developed a timeline for this event, contact the HOO for details.   |

An ongoing conference bridge was established with NSIR management (Holonich, Zimmerman), headquarters and regional IAT members (Warren, Smith, Whitney), Region I management (Miller, Wiggins, Blough, McDermott, Frechette), the NRC Resident Inspector (Dentel), and the FBI.                                    |
|
The NRC went to Monitoring Mode for this event at 2230 EST on 3/22/03.   
*** UPDATE AT 0720 EST ON 3/22/03 BY ERIC THOMAS ***

The FBI is conducting interviews with 4 site security personnel. The FBI has completed two of four interviews with security personnel. One, who was in the CAS, says he saw a square-looking object cross his screen that monitors the protected area boundary. The second interviewee was patrolling outside the protected area in his vehicle and saw a large bird (probably a wild turkey) with approximately a four-foot wing span fly across the road in front of him. This coincides with the location and time at which the CAS operator saw the image on his screen.                                       

The licensee is planning to perform walkdowns of all vital systems, and the SERT teams are performing additional sweeps of the protected area this morning. Additionally, licensee personnel in the Seabrook TSC are updating Region I NRC personnel on the situation every 30 minutes.                   |

*** UPDATE AT 1030 EST ON 3/22/03 BY ERIC THOMAS ***                        

Security personnel completed second sweep of the protected area at 0955 with negative results. Interviews with 4 security personnel by the FBI revealed the following likely scenario:                                              |
Approximately 2030 on 3/21/03 - PA fence alarm coincides with CAS security officer seeing a dark mass coming over the fence on his monitor CAS personnel then saw this featureless mass disappear behind a building inside the PA.

Approximately 2100 - CAS security officer notices dark mass on the monitor fly from a building downward over the PA security fence. Shortly thereafter, a security officer on patrol outside the PA sees a wild turkey with approx. 4-foot wing span fly across the road about 20 feet in front of his vehicle.

Searches of the fence line in the area of the intrusion revealed no footprints or damage to the fence. Conclusion by site operations and security personnel, as well as FBI, is that the fence alarm was caused by intrusion of some sort of wild animal, possibly a turkey, and that there was no human intrusion onto the site.                                          

*** UPDATE AT 1102 EST ON 3/22/03 BY LICENSEE TO ERIC THOMAS ***            

The licensee terminated the Unusual Event at 1052 EST on 3/22/03.         

*** UPDATE AT 1235 EST ON 3/22/03 BY ERIC THOMAS ***                        

The NRC exited Monitoring Mode at 1205 EST.                                 

A Commissioners' Assistants' brief was held at 1230 EST. See HOO log for additional details.                                                         

Have a nice day and a peaceful night,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 02:42 PM

lengthy cut & paste?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 02:55 PM

True, Mr. Happy, but it's the real stuff and not available on any public website. I do what I can for public service.

Charley Noble, with friends in the Industry

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 03:51 PM

What happened to the poor turkey? I hope it made it out alright.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: MMario
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 03:55 PM

it turned out beautifully! I baked it Saturday with a fennel and onion bread stuffing; served it with baked potatoes and sour cream, steamed snow peas, a nice mixed salad. Tasty!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 04:00 PM

You are BAAAADDD, MMario, for all your fancy needle work!!*bg*

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: MMario
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 04:02 PM

*grin* couldn't resist - since that *IS* what I cooked saturday.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 04:10 PM

..gobble..gobbl...gobb...gob..go..g..arggghhhh!!!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: BuckMulligan
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 04:14 PM

So, now we expect Mmario's kith & kin to have taken on a new glow?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: MMario
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 04:18 PM

Using a bit of license as to the date of the occur occer when it happened:


Last Sunday morning
Lord Lord Lord
Oh Last Sunday Morning
Lord Lord Lord

I was guarding the reactor
Lord Lord Lord
I was guarding the reactor
Lord Lord Lord

The intruder cast a shadow
Lord Lord Lord
The intruder cast a shadow
Lord Lord Lord

And the Zone alarm was clangin'
Lord Lord Lord
Well the Zone Alarm was clangin'
Lord Lord Lord

So we called a U. E. Code Red
Lord Lord Lord
So we called a U. E. Code Red
Lord Lord Lord

And the FBI responded
Lord Lord Lord
And the FBI responded
Lord Lord Lord

And the phone lines was humnmin'
Lord Lord Lord
And the phone lines was hummin'
Lord Lord Lord

And the SERT team was comin'
Lord Lord Lord
And the SERT team was comin'
Lord Lord Lord

When my partner saw the turkey
Lord Lord Lord
When My partner saw the turkey
Lord Lord Lord

He was flying over Seabrook
Lord Lord Lord
HE was flying over Seabrook
Lord Lord Lord

Now I feel like I'm a dumb schmuck!
Lord Lord Lord
Now I feel like I'm a dumb schuck!
Lord
Lord . . .
Lord!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: open mike
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 04:30 PM

holy wattles, bat man!
glad to hear it was just a bird and not the turks!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 04:40 PM

MMario-

Shall we say that you have risen to the occasion in a flight of fancy?

I am going to copy and paste your song into an e-mail to my anti-nuke buddy.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Willie-O
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 04:51 PM

Ah, but WHY did the turkey cross the road?

Probably to get behind the "No Trespassing" sign.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 05:31 PM

Willie-O

But on the other side it didn't say nothing. That side was made for you and me!

Don't forget NH's state motto is "Live Free or Die!" We should be able to fit that in somewhere.

Hey, Jeri, Tom, Linn, where you at? That's your big ugly nuke we's talkin' about.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Schantieman
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 05:40 PM

How about this? Tune is (of course) 'Turkey in the Straw'

TURKEY IN THE PLANT

Well, last Monday night I was looking at the screens
And some of them were blue and some of them were green
And some of them were flick'ring as I turned my back
And one had a shape and the shape was black

Ch: Turkey in the compound, turkey in the plant
    Turkey in a place where they us'ly aren't
    Turkey walkin' round and the code is Red
    For I saw a little birdy, that's what I said.

The alarm went off on the bound'ry fence
But we couldn't find footprints and it made no sense
And there was no damage and there was no harm
But there was an animal from off the farm.

Well they had an enquiry and they made a fuss
And they they'd rave and shout and they'd swear and cuss..
And they told the Commissioner (coz he'd not heard)
That security was breached by a big black bird.

So if you go down in the woods today
Keep away from the power plant is what I say
Coz if you get caught in the middle of the night
They'll give you a roasting – it'll serve you right!


© S J Freedman 2003

Enjoy :-)

Steve

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: greg stephens
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 06:40 PM

MMmmmm BS thread blah blah...excessively birdist sentiments....obviously not really an Irish song, 1603 Bodleian MS1703/45 first reocorded.....Sam Larner...Ewan McColl real name Jimmy Miller UN resolution 1776 voice analysis clearly not Saddam

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: MMario
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 07:19 PM

LOL! For both Shantieman AND Greg!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 07:52 PM

LOL

We do need this!

By the way this turkey is probably one of the wild ones that have been successfully reintroduced into New England. They are quite large and wily, unlike the ones that are raised for holiday feasts.

Now, Greg, this is a music thread, not one of them #**€# BS threads. And only traditional songwriters are invited to compose, or decompose as it were.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Amos
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 08:08 PM

Turkeyyyyy!!

(Tune: Groun'hawg!)

(Jolly banjo riff intro)

Come if ya can, stay if ya can't
Come if ya can, stay if ya can't
Gonna hunt for turkies at the nuc-ya-lar plant

Tuuuuuurkey!!

Turkey jumped and began to fly
Turkey jumped and began to fly
Caught that plant's electric eye,

Tuuuuuurkey!!

Hit the button, condition red!
Hit the button, condition red,
Ole turkey's gonna wish he was dead!

Tuuuuuurkey!!

Fell into a reactor mosheen
Fell into a reactor mosheen
When he come up he was bright and green

Tuuuuuurkey!!

Turkey squawked and jumped up higher
Turkey squawked and jumped up higher
Flew back out over our bob wire

Tuuuuuurkey!!

Billy Bob was out for fun
Billy Bob was out for fun
Nailed that turkey with his ole shotgun

Tuuuuuurkey!!

Plucked him, baked him in a pan
Plucked him, baked him in a pan
That BillyBob was a happy man


Tuuuuuurkey!!

Nine months later, he had twins
Nine months later, he had twins
With big green eyes and bright green skins!


Tuurrrrrkey!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: CapriUni
Date: 24 Mar 03 - 09:22 PM

I just gotta say: this whole thread has me RoFLing

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 25 Mar 03 - 01:10 AM

See, now, I was sure that this thread was based on something that I must have missed because I don't watch CNN, about Turkish jets bombing an Iraqi nucular facility. So I figured I would come up with a song based on some ridiculous imaginary scenario of a turkey wandering into a nucular plant, and then....

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 25 Mar 03 - 07:15 AM

This thread reminds me of the old joke that came out at the time of the Chernobyl Disaster:

What's got three legs, four wings, two heads and glows in the dark ?
- Chicken Kiev.

Charlie - perhaps we now know why these turkeys are growing so big - can you imagine: Teenage Ninja Mutant Turkeys - AAARRGGHH

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Charley Noble
Date: 25 Mar 03 - 08:01 AM

Amos- you are inspired!

Mark- I confess that I thought long and carefully about this thread title, and I'm delighted that you recognize the international implications.

Dave- the wild tom turkeys do grow to a four-foot wing span and commonly fly up into high trees for nesting at night; they would have little trouble flying over a six-foot high parimeter fence. Someone needs to provide a link to a wild turkey website, and I don't mean the whiskey!

I'm assuming that the original report from my friend in New Hampshire is factually correct, but maybe I better check the status of this story before it gets too far out of hand. Let's see, what's the NRC's hotline number?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: BuckMulligan
Date: 25 Mar 03 - 09:08 AM

The Union Leader has this (no mention of turkeys, except as metaphorically applicable to the "intruders" detained by the 'Brook cops.

http://www.unionleader.com/Articles_show.html?article=19317&archive=1

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 25 Mar 03 - 03:21 PM

Gee, Charley -- most of the turkeys in New Hampshire are in the state house!

And "Live Free or Die" has been done so well by Bill Morrissey (recorded in Tom's livingroom in Epping, many many years ago). And how about "Seabrook Is Glowing in the Dark"? Granted, there was no large bird in either song . . .

Last Friday on the way to the Press Room we noted a low wall of fog smack down the middle of the Piscataqua -- could only see treetops on the Maine shore. And as we turned the corner at the little cove across from the shipyard, there were three huge swans preening themselves on the mudflat. They could certainly cause a security breach at Seabrook, but I think they had designs on Portsmouth Naval Shipyard instead.

There have been several times I've seen whole airborne herds of swans not exactly flying in formation (like the greenhead flies in "The Plum Island National Anthem") but no less formidible. What if THEY attacked Seabrook Station? (Are there swans in Iraq?)

Linn, in desperate need of a margarita

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Charley Noble
Date: 25 Mar 03 - 03:47 PM

Linn- I suppose it might have been a swan but it makes a much better song with a wild turkey. Here's a rusty nail to you!

I rechecked with my original contact and he assures me the story is legit and he goes on to say that one of his friends has already quipped "Are they seeing wild turkeys, or are they drinking Wild Turkey?"

Such levity is, of course, regrettable when Seabrook folks are in a Code Red Alert status.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 25 Mar 03 - 10:49 PM

Speaking of neighborly nukes, in 1990 I spent a few months in San Luis Obispo, California. It's a lovely town in the area known as the Central Coast. One of its claims to fame is being the location of "the Northernmost part of Southern California", namely, a hotel known as The Madonna Inn, which has 109 uniquely decorated rooms including the Crystal Room and the Caveman Room.

But I digress. San Luis is also known as the location of the Diablo Canyon nuclear power plant, which as far as I know is the only such facility in the world that is built over a seismic fault line. When I lived there, Pacific Gas and Electric sent out a free calendar to all residents of the area. It included a map showing concentric zones around the plant: Zone 1 was in the immediate vicinity and Zone 6 was far away. For each zone, there were instructions about what to do in the event of an "emergency" -- where the evacuation routes were, etc. Except...there were no instructions for Zone 1.

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE: Turkey Attacks N-Plant
From: Charley Noble
Date: 26 Mar 03 - 09:52 AM

Mark- You bring back memories of Jane Harmon's inspirational song "In Case of Nuclear Attack" with its references to clean underwear, No. 10 sunscreen, and a host of other self-help suggestions.

Wasn't Diablo Canyon also the N-plant where the construction engineers misinterpreted their planning documents, transposing one set of plans?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble