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Lyr Req: Ode to the Four-Letter Word Related thread: Lyr Req/Add: Ode to the Four-Letter Word (24) |
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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Four-letter word song From: Alexis Date: 15 Apr 03 - 07:38 AM ditto Micca midi or abc or whatever cheers Alex |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Four-letter word song From: GUEST,Phattdaddy Date: 14 Apr 03 - 10:34 PM Last heard on one of Oscar Brands tapes yonks ago, have copy of tape unfortunately its bootleg and no title. Phattso |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Four-letter word song From: Amos Date: 14 Apr 03 - 03:54 PM Micca: That's absolutely marvelous, and I woudln't be surprised to learn you wrote it, either!! Thanks for the grin! A |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Four-letter word song From: Micca Date: 14 Apr 03 - 03:45 PM You are very welcome Vixen, I would love a midi of the tune if you have it! |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Four-letter word song From: Vixen Date: 14 Apr 03 - 10:34 AM That's it, Micca!!! Thank you!!! V |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Four-letter word song From: Steve Parkes Date: 14 Apr 03 - 10:09 AM And there was a great parody of Roy Rogers' Four-legged friend, which unfortunatley I don't know, but the chorus ended It's honest, it's earthy, it's [...] and its' [...], That wonderful one- two- three- four-letter-word. I'd love to know the rest. Micca's song is excellent, but I think Bedford may not be ready for it yet (although Brummagem might be). It could almost be A. P. Herbert, couldn't it? Steve |
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Four-letter word song From: reggie miles Date: 14 Apr 03 - 09:48 AM this one's about one of my favorite four-letter words F-R-E-E by reggie miles reggies Comments: Here you go, another protest song. How can I protest something that's free you ask? Well, allow me the oppotunity to delineate, articulate, insinuate and illuminate further if you will. The constant badgering by various advertisers to capture my attention has taken it's toll. Now the one word that I've treasured for so many years has been reduced to being used as a cheap trick by those same advertisers to hide their true intentions. That is, to glean personal information to resell or otherwise use in an underhanded way, or to mask hidden fees. What next? It's gettin' so a body can't escape the doublespeak even in the innocent little four letter word f-r-e-e. Four letter words don't bother me, Except the one that's spelled f-r-e-e. It's not that I mind when people use it. It's just that some folks like to abuse it. Like the guy on the phone the other day, Who had free airline tickets to give away, And they came with a complimentary hotel stay. I asked, "What's the catch?" Here's what he had to say. "You'll be flying fourth class on your trip through the sky. You'll have to cover any taxes and fees that apply. Your meals will cost extra in this situation." So I hung up the phone on our conversation. Then I received an email spam. "Free, millions of dollars!" It began. "Follow my instructions. Read my book. It won't cost you a dime to take a look." "Just send me your credit card information, And some additional documentation, A Social Security number and a picture I.D., And fill out this ten-page questionnaire for me." "I'll need your phone number and your passport too, Your fingerprints or a retina scan will do. A notarized copy of your birth certificate, And don't forget to send it in triplicate." Then a notice came, special delivery. You've won a house make over, absolutely free. Well scrape and we'll paint your entire abode. I knew that I should've said, "Hit the road!" But the house needed paint so I said, "Okay." And before I knew it, it was house paintin' day. They came and they painted all the daylong. But before it was finished they'd packed up and gone. So there I was left with a half painted house, And an aching back and an angry spouse. And now six months later, it still isn't done. Painting a house just isn't much fun. So if you've got a free offer don't darken my door. Don't bother emailing or calling no more. Don't waste your breath trying to convince me. That anything's worth having if it's F-R-E-E. You can keep your free bargains and your two for one deals, On software or hardware, on drinks or on meals. I don't want your free CDs or free debt reduction. I don't need your free books or free website seduction. Take me off your callback list and just let me be. There's nothing you have that I'm wanting, you see. One last piece of advice and it's free from me. You get what you pay for and more than you bargain for when it's F-R-E-E. |
Subject: Lyr Add: ODE TO THE FOUR LETTER WORD From: Micca Date: 14 Apr 03 - 09:34 AM Is it This one? ODE TO THE FOUR LETTER WORD Banish the use of the four-letter words Whose meanings are never obscure The Angles, the Saxons those hardy old birds Were vulgar obscene and impure But cherish the use of the weaselling phrase That never quite says what you mean You'd better be known for your hypocrite ways Than as vulgar impure and obscene When nature is calling, plain speaking is out When the Ladies, God Bless'em are milling about You may pee-wee, make water, or empty the glass You can powder your nose, even Johnny may pass Shake the dew off the Lily; see a man about a dog When every ones soused, it's condensing the fog But please to remember, if you would know bliss That only in Shakespeare do characters piss A woman has bosoms, a bust or a breast Those lily-white swellings that bulge 'neath her vest They are towers of Ivory, sheaves of new wheat In a moment of passion, ripe apples to eat You may speak of her nipples as fingers of fire With hardly a question of raising her ire But by Rabelaise's beard she will throw several fits If you speak of them roundly as good honest tits It's a cavern of Joy you are thinking of now A warm tender field awaiting the plough It's a quivering pigeon caressing your hand Or the National Anthem-It makes us all stand It's known among men as the centre of Love The hope of the world or a velvety glove But friend, heed this warning, beware of affront Of aping the Saxon--- don't call it a c*** Tho' a Lady repels your advance, shell be kind As long as you intimate what's on your mind You may tell her your hungry; you need to be swung You may ask her to see how your etchings are hung Or mention the ashes that need to be hauled Put the lid on her saucepan even "lay" is not too bald, But the moment you're forthright, get ready to duck For the girls isn't born yet who'll stand for "lets F*** So banish the words that Elizabeth used When she was a Queen on the Throne The modern maids' virtue is easily bruised By the four-letter words all alone Let your morals be clean as an Alderman's vest If your language is always obscure Today not the act but the word is the test Of the vulgar, obscene and impure |
Subject: Lyr Req: Four-letter word song From: Vixen Date: 14 Apr 03 - 09:10 AM Tiger did this one Friday night, and I'd email him for the lyrics, but I've lost his email. Not only that, but it's not in the DT, so having him (or somebody else!) post it here would benefit everybody! V |
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