Monica's Dress

Subject: Monica's Dress
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 13 Aug 98 - 02:53 AM

G'day,
I've no idea where the inspiration for this song came from. Any resemblance to any person either living, dead or otherwise is purely coincidental.

MONICA'S DRESS

To the tune of "I Was Born Ten Thousand Years Ago"

The leader's in a state of distress
The press thinks he ought to confess
"We think it was you
But we'll soon find out who
Was the man who stained Monica's Dress".

He said to the men of the press
"Although I seem under duress
Each time there's a crisis
My approval rating rises
So do your worst with Monica's Dress".

He went on to say that: "Unless
You can prove it was me made the mess
You can blow it out your ear
'Cause I don't want to hear
Any more about Monica's Dress".

Now Monica's suffering from stress
"I'll be glad when it's over I guess
When the lab boys are through
They'll prove it was you
Left the stains upon Monica's Dress".

Now this song is unfinished I guess
There'll be more to unfold in the press
And as time passes by
We'll learn the reason why
The stains remained in Monica's Dress.

But I think that we'll hear him profess
That: "In future I'll never transgress
I'll stick to the script
And keep my trousers zipped
And keep my hands off Monica's Dress".

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Monica's Dress
From: alison
Date: 13 Aug 98 - 03:38 AM

Hi,

I hope you'll be singing this at the Third Settlement Folk Music Festival this weekend.

Slainte

Alison

Subject: RE: Monica's Dress
From: Barbara
Date: 13 Aug 98 - 04:22 AM

WARNING, OFF COLOUR ALERT...
A while ago a newspaper, I believe it was the Washington Post, ran a limerick contest. The challenge was to get both Lewinsky and Krazynski (the unibomber) into the verse.
The winner?
There once was a musician named Lewinski
Who could play on a flute like Stravinsky
She played "Hail to the Chief"
On a flute made of beef
And stole the front page from Krazynski

Subject: RE: Monica's Dress
From: Tinwhistler's Mutha
Date: 13 Aug 98 - 01:35 PM

Nice job Alan........ (you have too much time on your hands , dont you? *grin*) I am not familiar with the tune, though. Anyone got a midi?

Subject: RE: Monica's Dress
From: northfolk
Date: 13 Aug 98 - 10:50 PM

I heard, Monica's mother's a shrew.
It was she, who taught, just what to do.
So, to get to the top,
On her knees Mo would drop.
The dress was not all that was blue.

Subject: RE: Monica's Dress
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 13 Aug 98 - 10:56 PM

G'day,
The tune is fairly commonplace and I'm sure you'll recognise it when you hear it. I'll post a MIDI after the Third Settlement Folk Festival this weekend.

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Monica's Dress
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 16 Aug 98 - 10:56 AM

G'day,
I was going to post a MIDI for this tune, but having sung the song at our festival, it was pointed out to me by a young person (Alison) that the tune is the same as "If You're Happy And You Know It Clap Your Hands" although you'll want to swing it differently.

We had a successful little festival - almost broke even, what more can you expect?

Cheers,
Alan

Subject: RE: Monica's Dress
From: Ian HP
Date: 18 Aug 98 - 04:12 PM

Thanks for the words, Alan. I may even use it this week when I play, with these couple of extra verses I just made (I may just wake up in the morning and think them naff!). Anyway, for better or for worse, here they are:

But there's one thing that I just don't get
If the stain is still stuck on the dress
She needs to have a lesson
About cleanin', washin', dressin'
'Cause her personal hygiene's in a mess

Now that old Bill he is a-stewin'
I wonder if this tale will be his ruin
There's been talk of business bribes
And all sorts of bad vibes
For it ain't just Lewinski he's been screwin'

Subject: RE: Monica's Dress
From: northfolk
Date: 18 Aug 98 - 05:01 PM

Thanks to the mudcat censors, for rearranging my doggerel into limerick format. I didn't know how to do that.

Subject: RE: Monica's Dress
From: Alan of Australia
Date: 20 Aug 98 - 09:52 PM

G'day,

Now Bill has decided to address
The nation 'cause it's time to confess
But we can't help wond'ring why
He was wearing a tie
From the same shop as Monica's dress.

Cheers,
Alan