The beauty is not in the story but .....

Subject: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: GUEST,Tunesmith
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 04:04 PM

The full title is - " The beauty is not in the story but in the telling". Comments, Obversations, Personal Insights, - let's go for it!!

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: MMario
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 04:08 PM

Huh?

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: GUEST,Tunesmith
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 04:15 PM

I'll have to learn to type! There is no such word as "obversations" but "observation" is a valid word, I believe.

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 04:42 PM

Oh, I think it's true. Don't you????


A

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 05:09 PM

The beauty is in the "ear" of the beholder.

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 05:17 PM

It's in the telling. Jokes, for instance, are so much funnier when the punchline is delivered with milk coming out of the nose of the narrator.

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: Ebbie
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 08:21 PM

And hiccups. I love hiccups. And hitting the cusp of having goosepimples is awesome.

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 10:39 PM

The story of Billie Joe McAllister and what he threw off the bridge has been the subject of song and both widely and wildly debated. It is based in truth but stylized to some degree, an old story, dating back to the the late 40's.

The only daughter of John Hatch, a Mississippi Klansman of some note, was in love with the first black attorney in the state of Mississippi. Jubilee Simmons was the grandson of slaves and had gone to school at the University of Chicago and returned to his family's home state, taking up residence in Carroll county in 1948. John Hatch's daughter was known to be a bit wild and young Kelli had already incurred her father's wrath on numerous occasions. Kelli was living with two other 22 year old women in the small town of Campton, Mississippi when she met and began dating Simmons. Her father learned of it a few weeks later and came into town drunk with some Klan buddies to hunt down and kill Simmons. Simmons law offices were across the square from the county courthouse and through an open window he could hear the drunken invectives hurled his way from the square. He slipped out a back door and went to Kelli's house to take her away and save them both from the murderous rancor of her father and his "brethren."

Not finding Jubilee either in his office or at the Courthouse, the Klansmen split up to search for him and John Hatch went to his daughter's house, presumably to beat her or possibly worse. He arrived before the pair had left and headed in the back porch door adjoining the kitchen. Seeing him coming, Simmons grabbed a kitchen knife and jumped atop the counter and then onto the top of the Kelvinator refrigerator that stood by the door. As John Hatch passed, he didn't notice Simmons who then jumped him safely from behind. In the ensuing struggle, Hatch was stabbed with the knife. The lovers bagged his body and threw it off a bridge on their way out of town. They were on their way to Chicago when they were arrested in Clarksville, Tennessee and returned for trial in Mississippi. Jubilee represented both and thanks to the testimony of one of the roommates and Mrs. Hatch who had suffered abuse for years at the hands of her husband, both were acquitted and moved to Chicago where he established a moderately successful practice on the south side.

The original song told the story as it actually happened, but owing to legal considerations, the Bobbie Gentry version was done instead. The original was titled, "The Day that Jubilee the Barrister Jumped Off of Kelli Hatch's Fridge."


Spaw (that the kind of thing you had in mind?)

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: LadyJean
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 11:18 PM

I had a cousin who served in the merchant marine. He saw action in both world wars, sailed all over the world, and, at one point was captain of a crew of Lascars. He was one of the dullest people I ever knew. When there were ladies present, he sounded like a travelogue. His most interesting story was how the Chinese made birds' nest soup. (I will NEVER eat birds nest soup.)
His sister, who was, I think, one of the first women attorneys in the state of Ohio, was every bit as dull as he was.
I still have cousins who live in a small town in Northern Kentucky. They don't travel much, but they'll tell you all about what happened when Uncle John blew up the laundry, or John rode on the moonshiner's horse, or the raccoon who liked to take showers in a toilet. Last time I visited, John was regaling us with second hand stories of John Morgan's Ohio raid. They are many things, but they are not dull. Some people have great stories, but they don't know how to tell them.

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: TIA
Date: 23 Jun 03 - 11:48 PM

I thought I was cryptic until I encountered Tunesmith.

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: Morticia
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 06:41 AM

Thanks Spaw, you just provided me with the best laugh I have had in ages........of course, it also caused me to involuntarily disclose to my entire staff team that I wasn't actually working......but what the heck........

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 08:28 PM

Oh Spaw, is it time for me to retype the "Berry Story"? "I have come to seize her berry, not to praise it"?

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Jun 03 - 09:18 PM

Only if you can stretch it nicely Sins!! This thread made me think immediately of the shaggy dog type things where the real joy (and groans) comes from the details.   My other favorite is the "Pardon me Roy, is that the cat who chewed your new shoes?"

Spaw

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: GUEST,Les B.
Date: 25 Jun 03 - 12:17 PM

Spaw - I rarely snort with laughter whilst reading the internet, but now, dammit, I've got to clean snot off my keyboard !!!

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: MMario
Date: 25 Jun 03 - 12:22 PM

Ferdinand Feghoot rides again!!!!!

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: Kim C
Date: 25 Jun 03 - 02:31 PM

I dunno. I read the last Anne Rice novel, and I thought the story was all right, but the telling of it pretty much sucked. I'm sorry, y'all, I know Anne Rice is popular, but I think she's a lousy writer.

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 25 Jun 03 - 08:05 PM

The late Frank Muir and Denis Norden for years used to wind up a BBC radio programme "My Word" with punny stories like spaw's, improvised in response to a challenge. Here's a link to a collection of the stories.

The initrial quote is true enough about "funny"; I'm not so certain about "beauty". If the incident being recounted is where the beauty resides, very often the simpler the telling the better, and attempts to embellish it with beautiful language can interfere.

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: CarolC
Date: 25 Jun 03 - 11:59 PM

I used to listen to "My Word" a number of years ago when it was broadcast on my local public radio station. It was a great show, and I thought Frank Muir and Denis Norden were brilliant. I'm really sorry to read about their passing.

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: Kim C
Date: 26 Jun 03 - 12:40 PM

I used to LOVE My Word! I miss it so.

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Jun 03 - 12:59 PM

Frank Muir is dead, CarolC, but to the best of my knowledge Denis Norden is still alive and kicking.

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: Art Thieme
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 07:42 PM

A CHALLENGE:

Here is the "punchline" :

Haifa lootin', Newton shootin', son-of-a-nun from Barcelona, part time plowboy, Joe !

My challenge is for someone to find the story I posted in this forum somewhere a while ago----the tale that preceeded this line.

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 07:57 PM

In the town of Haifa, in Israel, a man named Joseph ran looting through the streets before he shot Mayor Newton of that town dead! The cops then killed him. Looking into his past history, all they could find out was that his mother had once lived in a convent in Barcelona, Spain and that Joseph had once worked on a farm. The caption under his picture in the newspaper said,

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 07:58 PM

(June 30, 1998)

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 09:21 PM

Actually heric, guys like Art and I rarely tell a good (or a bad) pun or story only once and as we've both been around here for better than 5 years or so Art has told that stinker on several occasions.

Along with your date he told it on 11/10/2001, 4/27/2001, 10/20/2000, and gave only the punchline on 1/8/2002. If you want another challenge, see if you can find how many times I've told the Billie Joe throwing something off the Tallahatchee bridge tale as I did above....the Bobbie Gentry song. Keyword to search is Jubilee.

Spaw

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 09:26 PM

From now on all you guys need to do is post the thread and post numbers. Good as you are at telling jokes, we'll all likely crack up anyway!!

A

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 27 Jun 03 - 11:38 PM

A friend of mine was once wrecked on a desert island..."It ain't what you say but the way that you say it." Since everyone knows the joke anyway, let's do the numbers.

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: Art Thieme
Date: 28 Jun 03 - 09:28 PM

You're all on to me. So from now on I will allow you all to make my posts for me. ;-)

Art

Subject: Making his posts for Art
From: CarolC
Date: 28 Jun 03 - 11:00 PM

Once there was a great king who ruled all of Hawaii. He was a good and benevolent ruler, and much admired by his people. One day, a ship landed on his biggest island, and men wearing strange clothing disembarked. Approaching the king, they bowed and offered many beautiful presents. The king accepted them and welcomed the men from the ship to his island.

One of the men from the ship, Niles, caught the eye of a beautiful woman among the admiring crowd. The two fell instantly in love. Alas, the woman from the crowd was the king's youngest daughter Mai. When Niles approached the king for Mai's hand in marriage, the king would have none of it.

Niles formulated a plan to win the king's permission to marry Mai.   One night, while the king was presiding over an important ceremony, Niles had some of the men from the ship build a second story onto the king's one story grass house. Then, he and the other men went to the ship and fetched from it a handsomely carved ebony throne they had been given as a gift for saving the life of a king in the great jungle forests of Africa.

When they were finised, Niles climbed up into a tree just outside the window of the second story of the king's grass house, and waited for the king to return from the ceremony, hoping to see the look of surprise and joy upon his face when he beheld the magnificant throne.

BUT, when the king returned, he got no farther than the middle of the room just below where the throne was positioned on the second floor. Just as the king was passing beneath the throne, the ceiling above him gave a horrible groan and caved in, the throne landing right on top of the king. He was killed instantly, and thus we have the moral of our story...

.

.

.

People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

Art Thieme (by proxy)

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: GUEST,pdc
Date: 29 Jun 03 - 01:58 AM

This one's my favourite, and I rarely give it away for free. If you can tell it with a good French accent, it rarely misses.

Quasimodo, the hunchback of Notre Dame, was aging, and feeling it. He requested an interview with the Archbishop of the Cathedral and explained that he would not be able to continue ringing the great bell every hour.

"Monsieur, every day I grow 'unchier and 'unchier, and zee fatigue 'as me absolutely whacked. I cannot ring ze bells all ze time any more."

"But Quasimodo!" expostulated the Archbishop. "No one else can create the beautiful, crystal ringing sound that floats over the streets of Paris every day. Quasi, what shall we do? I can't give you up!"

"I 'ave a friend 'oo well 'elp me," said Quasimodo. "'e will take ze morning shift, I will take ze afternoon shift. Eet weel geeve me a break."

"What are your friend's qualifications?" asked the Archbishop.

"'ee 'as none," admitted Quasimodo. "'een fac, no one wee' 'ire 'im because 'ee 'as no arms."

"No arms!!" exclaimed the archbishop. "How will he ring the bell?"

"Listen, Monsieur, 'ee is desparate. "ee weel run at ze bell and 'it it wiz 'is face."

"Good God!"

"Yes, well maybe God weel be good to 'eem and 'ee weel be successful," returned Quasimodo.

After much discussion in various accents, the deal was struck, and Quasimodo's friend was appointed to begin the following morning, with Quasimodo there as moral support.

At eight o'clock, Quasimodo's friend ran at the bell eight times, and managed to produce clear, ringing tones with a fairly even rhythm. People in the streets of Paris looked up, smiled, and said "Ah, Quasimodo ees reengeeng ze bell."

At nine o'clock, having had an hour's rest, the man ran again at the bell, hit it with his face nine times, and produced...serviceable but slightly ragged bongs. One eye was blackened, and he had split his lip, but was still game.

"You just rest," said Quasimodo. "You 'ave, ten, eleven, twelve, zen I take over and you weel 'ave done a good job."

Ten o'clock came and went with ten rough, mushy bongs that were out of rhythm and not at all what the people of Paris were accustomed to. Several of them looked up at the bell tower in puzzlement. The new bell ringer collapsed against the wall of the bell tower, spitting out two teeth.

"Nevair mind!" said Quasi "eet ees nearly over now."

Unfortunately, at eleven o'clock, Quasimodo's replacement created only nine substandard, weak and distinctly unmusical bongs that made the bell sound cracked. "I 'ave failed!!" he cried through broken jaw, staggered over to the parapet, and fell down, down, down into the streets of Paris...

Two gendarmes rushed over to see what had happened.

"My God!" said the first. "Zat man ees a dead ringer for Quasimodo."

"Yes," said the second. "I thought 'ees face rang a bell."

(Sure glad you all don't know where I live.)

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 29 Jun 03 - 02:33 PM

Jubilee very funny. Good thing I checked this on a Sunday. Okay I instead raise the stakes considerably: To the winner, if any, goes a personally autographed (by me) copy of "Shakey." Spaw, since you are highly disqualified, you get to designate the winner, i.e. the one who first correctly answers when and why Simmons moved his offices.

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 30 Jun 03 - 09:17 AM

dang not a single taker overnight. I think the prize was too hard and the question too boring. . . . . okay, winner gets a secret prize!, Shakey goes to spaw, and contest closes at noon, at which time I keep the book, I keep the secret prize, and only I'll know why Simmons moved. fine

Subject: RE: Stomach Pumps and Hook and Ladder Dreams
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 02 Jul 03 - 06:40 PM

NOBODY gets Shakey, system outages, fires or not, but, you can still be awed, because the beauty is not in the story, but right here, digitally re-mastered, available July 15:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00009P1O0/qid%3D1057183465/sr%3D1/103-6716285-2527827

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: Mr Red
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 10:36 AM

As Benny Green said - "lyrics are rubbish - till they marry the tune" and that goes double for presentation. Well that's my obversation (is that sort of talking about what you can see?)

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: Mr Red
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 10:37 AM

flip side of conversation?

Subject: RE: The beauty is not in the story but .....
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Jul 03 - 11:14 AM

Sorry heric, lost track of this thread!

Spaw